Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of its subsidiaries. This is a not-for-profit fan work.
III.
The Committee
The walk back to his room was silent. Demyx tried to push against the wall of anxiety that was threatening to crush him—think of literally anything else—but it seemed to be in vain. He felt like he was choking.
"Nine?" Ienzo asked. "Are you all right? You seem… overwhelmed."
No shit. "I… I'm… I want to be alone," he said in a small voice. "Please."
"You're certain?" He asked.
He nodded.
"I'll come to check up on you," Ienzo said. "There's a committee meeting later and we feel your input would be valuable. But if you don't feel up to it I understand."
The whole time he spoke all Demyx could think was shut up shut up stop talking. And when the door was finally, blessedly shut, leaving him in the solitude of this horrible room, he sank down onto the mattress. At first he tried to resist the urge to curl into a ball and cry, but he wasn't sure what else he would do with himself if he didn't.
What the hell am I supposed to think about that? What do I do now?
What was worse, there was nothing for him to do. He knew that Even and Ienzo usually knew what they were talking about, or at least speculated in the right direction. Unless some miracle befell him, he was royally fucked.
After hours of panicking, Demyx had thought that the day wouldn't get any worse. Of course, he was wrong.
He wasn't sure how he had found himself sitting at the Restoration Committee's panel that afternoon. Maybe it was because he was slowly going mad and the prospect of having something—anything—other than his own literal deterioration to think about was appealing. Maybe he thought that seeing his old coworkers would make him think that this current reality was just a nightmare. Maybe he was just too tired to object to Ienzo's invitation. Either way, there he was, sitting at a long wooden table with Even and Ienzo, waiting for the others to arrive. He wasn't even a hundred percent sure who all the "others" were, but he knew that if Sora showed up Demyx might die. Again.
"How have you been processing this, Nine?" Ienzo asked. "You seemed… distressed… when I left you."
"Why are you calling me Nine again?" Demyx asked. "I asked you to call me by my name."
Ienzo nodded. "It's habit, I suppose," he said, but Demyx could tell by the way he knotted his hands that he was lying.
"Who else is in this hell committee that I'm not aware of?" He asked instead of pressing farther. "He's not… Sora's not…"
"No. Sora isn't coming. I wouldn't have asked you to come if he were. He's far too busy right now." Ienzo flipped open a notebook; Demyx squinted.
"Hey," he asked. "Where's your lexicon? Couldn't you take notes in that?"
Ienzo stared at him, but before he could formulate an answer the door banged open. Axel's Somebody barged in. Unlike the rest of them, he was still wearing the black coat, albeit with a red and orange kerchief around his neck. There was a glowing confidence to him that was different than before, more wholesome. He caught Demyx's eye. "Well, look who it is?" He came over and clapped him on the shoulder. "I was wondering when these two eggheads would let you rejoin normal society."
"Nine's health has been delicate," Ienzo interjected. "We figured it was best for him to remain behind." Ienzo's jaw and shoulders were tight. Even had a hard, uncomfortable look on his face, and his hands were clutched in front of him, the knuckles white. Demyx didn't understand why they were reacting to Axel like this.
Axel's Somebody shrugged. "Whatever you say. Anyway, how have you been?" He spoke very quickly, and didn't let Demyx answer. "It's like the gang's all here. Well. For the most part. Name's Lea, by the way. I figured you were wondering."
"All… all right," Demyx said. "You look… good."
"It's been a wild ride," Lea admitted. He flopped down in the seat next to Demyx and propped his feet up on the table; Ienzo wrinkled his nose. "Did brownnoser here tell you the news?"
"That depends on which news," Demyx said tersely.
"I'm a Keyblade wielder," he said. He smiled smugly. "It's been surreal, I admit…"
"Wait… what? But… aren't there only like two Keyblade wielders, ever?" He couldn't mesh his concept of Lea with his idea of what a Keyblade wielder should be like.
Lea whistled. "Boy, do you have a lot to learn."
He put his head in his hands. "Look, everything's really complicated right now, I've been told like a million things. I'm kind of overwhelmed."
Lea laughed. "Good thing you're at an intel meeting then." He slapped Demyx on the shoulder again. He turned to Even. Even's voice was level, but strangely harsh. Demyx wasn't listening; he was again slipping. He wanted to get up and run out of the room. But then what? Where would he go?
The door opened again and in came Dilan and Aeleus. Dilan's gaze passed right over Demyx, and he spoke in a low voice to Even about something that had happened on the outskirts of the castle. The noise in the room seemed muffled and Demyx found himself getting dizzy again. After so long with only Ienzo for company, the sight of so many people was almost too much.
"It's good to see you back in full health, Nine," Aeleus said. He sat across from him. The deep blue of his guard uniform softened his otherwise harsh features; without the frame of the black cloak, Demyx barely recognized him. He even afforded him a smile. "We've been worried."
"…Thank you," he said, though he doubted it.
"Have you been briefed about the situation?" He continued in that unnervingly kind voice.
"Sort of?" Demyx asked. "It's hard to tell what I know and don't know. I know about the vessels, and how we had hearts all along, and now I just learned about Lea—"
Dilan, on his other side, rolled his eyes. "Ah, yes. Seems like something right out of a torrid pulp novel, does it not?" He paused. "And presumably you haven't been told about what we would like you to do?"
This day was getting weirder and weirder, or was the right phrase worse and worse? "Um… no?"
"Well obviously you're quite skilled at intelligence gathering. Nobody would dispute that fact." He chuckled. "So you see—"
The door opened again. A dull headache sprung up in his head. A small group of people came in, chatting. Demyx recognized them from all his reconnaissance work—this was the core of the Restoration Committee. He knew their faces better than their names. It was strange to see them so up-close. This was getting too surreal. His tried to keep his breathing level.
Before he looked down, he caught the gaze of the shorter, dark-haired girl. She gave him the same look of disgust as you would a rat in the gutter. Demyx looked away. He felt nauseous now and just wanted this to be over.
"How long do these meetings usually take?" He whispered to Dilan.
"That would depend on our friends," he said. "Sometimes they have a lot to say, sometimes very little. It all depends on the information they have gathered."
"From Sora?" Demyx watched the woman with brown hair chat with Aeleus. She had a kind smile on her face.
"And the other allies."
"Allies? So… like… we're… actively fighting this? This being Xe—"
Dilan tapped his palm. "Not yet, Nine."
Demyx groaned. "Not you too."
"So then it hasn't been explained to you?"
"I don't know!" He said a bit more loudly than he intended; the older man with the blond hair gave him a look. "I don't know anything about… anything."
The angry girl sat next to Dilan. She rolled her eyes and then started talking to the brown-haired woman. Dilan raised one eyebrow.
Demyx turned to Dilan. "I think I have to go." He tried to get up—for a minute he thought his legs might be too weak to stand—but a voice stopped him.
"All right. Is everybody ready to proceed?" Ienzo asked. Demyx took a deep breath to try and steady himself. He wouldn't listen, that was all. He wouldn't listen and it would be fine.
He'd been trained too well from many years of reconnaissance and annoying meetings. No matter how much he tried to distract himself words like casualties and undeniable influence and total world annihilation slipped through his net and a trembling nausea grew in the pit of his stomach. Demyx couldn't help but wonder—had the old Organization done things like this? Of course, he'd never committed any atrocities like that with his own hands during his tenure, but had he planted the seeds just by following orders? He put his head in his hands and tried to push the thoughts away.
"…And that's where you come in."
Dilan nudged him; Demyx was being addressed. He looked up. "What was that?" He asked.
The angry girl—her name was Yuffie—snorted.
"You'll have to excuse him, Nine has been inundated with quite a bit of information today," Ienzo said. The babying, though well-intentioned, just made him feel worse, and a hot flush flooded his face.
"Well, obviously it would be good to have you in the field, with your reconnaissance skills," the man with the scar said. "But… there is another… more pressing matter where we feel you could be helpful."
And if I don't want to? "…And what would that be?" Demyx felt heat building behind his eyes and he prayed that he wouldn't start crying.
"The reservoirs are in shitty shape," the blond man, Cid, said. "They're old, and we don't have the resources to fix them properly."
He blinked quickly. "I don't get it."
"Your power over water. If you could clean our fresh water sources and reroute them while someone else fixes the old system, instead of investing so much time trying to mine new wells, it would be immensely helpful. We have to ration enough with the dry season coming." Aerith, the kind woman, afforded him another genuine smile.
Demyx was reaching the end of his rope. He couldn't hold the panic back anymore; it was like an elastic band and it was about to snap on him. Truthfully he hadn't thought about his powers since waking up. Maybe it was just his terrible reformation, but he wasn't even sure if he had any powers at all anymore.
"Nine is still healing from a traumatic metaphysical wound," Ienzo added. "Right now, using his powers might endanger him."
"It would be wonderful if you could try, though I understand." Aerith tilted her head. Of course. They all wanted something from him but they didn't care how he felt about it. His eyes were damp. Hold on. Hold on. The angry girl was now starting at him with a bemused expression. They were all staring at him, waiting for him to say something. Only Lea had the decency to look away.
"Yes. I'll try. Whatever. Now I, um, have to go." He didn't listen for a response. He didn't care who he had to trip over to get out of the room, he just had to get out. Demyx stumbled over to the door and slammed it on his way out. He was able to get to the end of the hall before the panic overtook him completely and he collapsed. He leaned against the wall and choked for air. He couldn't feel his fingers and he thought his chest might split open.
"Hey, buddy." A voice—so soft he had trouble placing it as Lea's—called out to him.
The humiliation burned through him, and he gritted his teeth. "Why won't you people leave me alone?"
He heard the zipper of Lea's jacket brush against itself as he sat down. "I only wanted to see if you were alright."
He laughed through a sob. "Oh, that's rich."
"You held it together really well, considering. I can only imagine. Ienzo told me about your reformation."
The word vomit was on the edge of his tongue—he wondered if he would spill. "Nobody seems to care about how I feel, or what I want. They're all… they're all treating me like a child, trying to figure out, "oh, what will we deign ourselves to tell Demyx today?" And they all want something. I know it. But I didn't ask for any of this to happen." He was shaking with adrenaline.
Lea's expression was aggravatingly neutral. Demyx wanted him to contradict him, or to tell him off. "No, I get it."
"Look. I don't care about this stupid committee, or the resistance, or whatever. I just want to live." He knew how pathetic he must sound. "But who knows if that'll happen." For a few minutes he flat-out cried while Lea sat there. His old wounds were getting irritated.
Lea stood. "Want to go for a walk?"
Getting out of the castle was appealing, but he wasn't sure he could. "I guess."
He forced himself to his feet. His hands still trembled, but he was more or less over the worst, at least for now.
Demyx and Lea walked through the hallways in silence. Lea mercifully moved very slowly. They passed by some open windows, and Demyx realized that he hadn't yet been outside since waking up. A cool breeze fluttered the ragged curtains; it looked like it would rain soon. He leaned against the frame and closed his eyes. The air felt good against his swollen face. "What'll happen to me?" He asked. He didn't expect an answer; he just wanted to hear it out loud.
"I'm sure it'll all work out," Lea said. "You've been lucky this far."
Lucky? He called this lucky?
Lea touched him on the shoulder. "You want to keep going?"
Demyx sighed. "No. I'm pretty tired. I think I just want to lie down."
But he didn't move. The air smelled like spring rain and relief. He was falling. Falling? Fa—
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