Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its subsidiaries. This is a not-for-profit fanwork.

VI.

Persistence

Demyx was tired of making them take care of him. Lea didn't tell Ienzo or Even that he was sick, and he preferred to keep it that way. Especially since he knew he wasn't actually sick.

He wasn't sure how to feel or what to think. His thoughts jumbled together. Why was this coming so vividly now? The fight wasn't all of it, either; something else lingered underneath that he couldn't quite grasp. All he could see in his mind's eye was darkness.

He went to bed early, worn out and mixed up, and fell asleep soon after.

Darkness and rain. The water fell directly into his eyes but he couldn't blink or even turn his head. The only think he could see were thick tendrils of darkness, wrapping over his head in smooth arcs.

There was no pain, which was odd, all things considering; just a heavy cold numbness. He couldn't breathe, even though he desperately needed to. He heard the air passing into his mouth in big ragged gasps, but it didn't reach his lungs. Did he even have lungs right now? Maybe they were somewhere on the ground next to him. He didn't know. He didn't think fading would take this long.

The sky started to move and there was the itchy sensation of being dragged. Thump thump thump. Thump thump thump. His body scraped against the ground.

A black hood looked down at him.

Darkness again.

Early-morning sunlight glinted directly into Demyx's eyes. The light and a tense achy pain in his chest woke him up, and for a long while he lay on his side with the hard mattress pressing into his bony hips.

What was that? Who was that? And should he say anything? Maybe… maybe it had just been an Organization member watching him go down… one who had arrived too late to do anything… or maybe they hadn't wanted to save him at all and were just checking that he was out of the picture.

He got out of bed. Showered. Got dressed. Went to the kitchen to eat something. His head was full of static. Demyx found Ienzo sitting at the small cracked table with a cup of tea.

"Good morning," he said. "You're up early."

"I slept early," he replied dazedly.

"Where did you go yesterday?"

Demyx spread peanut butter onto some bread without toasting it. "Aerith told me I could visit and I wanted to get out of here."

A pause. "It would be good for you to make some friends."

He remembered the interaction with Yuffie and shook his head. "Yeah. Sure."

"Is everything all right, Nine?"

He sat and pushed the bread around and around the plate. He knew he should eat but had no appetite. "Who found me?" He asked without making eye contact. "When I reformed?"

Ienzo traced the rim of his mug. "Why is it you ask?"

"I want to know." Demyx started to systematically rip the crusts off of the half-stale bread. The peanut butter tasted like glue in his mouth. "Someone had to have done it, or I wouldn't be here."

Ienzo gave him an inquisitive look. "It was Aeleus, on one of our first days back," he said. "He found you in the courtyard and brought you back. You had almost bled out; you were so pale your skin was yellow like wax. Had he found you even ten minutes later, we might have lost you for good."

"…And was he…" he tried to swallow down the bread but his mouth was too dry. Demyx got up and poured himself a glass of water, and then he drank it all down. His hands shook. "When he was out scouting, was he wearing an Organization coat?"

A long, long minute passed. Demyx could hear the little clock on the wall ticking and, below that, his own heart racing.

"Nine," Ienzo said slowly. "What are you talking about?"

"On my way back from visiting Aerith, I think I remembered something," he said. His voice trembled. "Um, I remembered when I fought Sora, and then… I think I remembered when I reformed. I saw someone standing over me. Someone in a black coat."

Ienzo's expression went from curious to blank. "Are you positive it was an Organization cloak?"

"Well… yes," he said. "I saw the beading, the zippers."

"Do you think it might be possible that you were hallucinating?"

Demyx spread his hands. "You don't believe me," he said.

"I think you were in a compromised state. I think that, between the physical and mental trauma, you may have corroborated a few things."

He slammed his hands on the table, causing the plates to jump. Ienzo didn't even flinch. A sticky anger filled his throat. "You were the one who told me that something tampered with my reformation! Maybe that was me remembering who did it!"

"You may be right," he said with a maddening calm. "But we have to acknowledge that your memory isn't exactly reliable."

"So what, do you think I made it up?" He couldn't believe this. He felt sick to his core.

"That's not what I'm saying." Ienzo took a drink. "Do you know who did it? Did you see their face?"

"No. I just saw the hood."

"Did you recognize their gait?" he leveled. "Do you remember anything distinguishable?"

Demyx tried to think. His head was aching already. He pored through the dim memories, but all he saw was the gaping cave of the hood. "…Not right now," he said.

"There was never any doubt that it had something to do with Xehanort," Ienzo said. "We weren't sure why he would have struck you, or why he would have done so in this manner. We still need to figure out why, and how, so we can prevent it from happening again."

"He was always trying to get rid of me," Demyx said. "Especially at the very end."

"But it's good for you that you were not obedient," Ienzo said. He had the balls to smile. "Or else you would have been one of the true vessels."

"Why did you save me?" He asked.

"Did you expect us to let you die?"

Demyx didn't know what to say about that. "I don't know. Maybe. You all hated me."

Ienzo said nothing for a long moment. He adjusted his ascot. "That's not true," he said at last.

"Isn't it?" He felt like he was falling even though his butt was firmly in his chair. "I mean… I've been… nothing but a burden since day one. And, like... I don't know. I don't know." He looked down at the chipped plate in front of him.

Another long minute of silence. Ienzo kept staring at him, which made it worse. "Do you feel that way now?"

The sense of mollification only worsened. How was he supposed to answer that? Yes, that he hated being treated like a child? That he didn't understand why they were deliberately keeping things from him? He shrugged, trying hard not to cry.

Ienzo nodded once. "Things are complicated now, Nine. None of us hold any ill will towards you." A pause. "I'm sorry you might feel that way."

"Look… I just…" The blood was rushing in his ears. "I just want to know what's going on? And nobody will tell me? Like. How much do you really know about what's happening to me?"

He pursed his lips. "Nine—"

"My name is Demyx." He'd meant for the words to have some bite, but as he was on the verge of tears they withered. He picked up his plate and put it in the sink. "I'll see you at the meeting later."

He made his way down to the labyrinthine corridors to the library. He didn't want to stay there for too long—there was too much chance of someone else showing up—but he figured this was the best place to try and find what he wanted.

Except that the library had no sense of organization whatsoever. There was a card catalog, but nothing was in its right place. Demyx searched blindly, frustration mounting, until the titles on the spines of his books were nothing more than shimmering spiraling words.

"Looking for something?"

The voice startled him so badly that he yelped in surprise. He clutched his chest.

"I do apologize," Dilan said silkily. "You seemed so very… focused."

Demyx turned to face him. Dilan had one of his lances slung over his shoulder. The sudden adrenaline made him a little shaky. "I can't find anything," he said haltingly.

"Yes, that restoration committee really did a number on the collection, looking for the reports." He shifted the lance from one shoulder to the other. "And we have far too much going on to spend the time rearranging."

"What do you guys do?" Demyx asked.

"Damage control," Dilan said. "Somebody's got to try and make this castle habitable. Who do you think keeps the power running, the walls upright? This place is utterly decrepit." He smirked. "I suppose that will be your next assignment, eh? Now that you're feeling well?"

"I… guess." He wasn't sure whether to feel anxious or relieved about his impending work.

"So what is it you're looking for? Perhaps I might be of assistance. I seem to be in here often enough."

"Well…" he bit his lip. "I was hoping that I might find something that would teach me about music. Even like an encyclopedia or something."

Dilan raised an eyebrow. "I had heard," he said. "I'm… sorry. I know this must be quite difficult for you."

Like you care. They'd roomed close to one another in the Organization, so naturally there had been a bit of tension when he'd wanted to practice and when Xaldin had wanted to sleep. "Yeah, well, at least I won't keep you up anymore," he said lamely.

Dilan shrugged. "There is always a price, is there not?"

This meeting went about as well as the last one, though thankfully this time Demyx did not have a panic attack. He tried to listen attentively, but he did not want to think about people dying in gruesome ways.

Maybe it was because she was sitting across from him (glaring daggers all the while), but Demyx thought back to his conversation with Yuffie. All this talk about death, about people becoming Heartless… how much was he really responsible for? How much could he be excused from? Thinking about it put a bitter seed of shame in his stomach which was almost unbearable.

The topic moved from endless discussions about the inevitable battle with the vessels to current issues with the town. Demyx did think it was strange that they were all working together now for the common good. He didn't say anything, just nodded his head when expected, until their leader, Leon, gestured to him.

"The sooner we can get you started, the better," he said. "Especially with the summer drought coming."

"Okay," Demyx said. He could say no, but then he would look like an even bigger jerk. They all needed water to drink.

"We should like a few days to prepare," Ienzo said. "Bluntly, we're not even sure that Nine can use his powers. I would hate to push it and cause more damage."

"I'm sure we can get things in order," Even cut in. "I will work with the boy. Our abilities are most similar in nature."

That was the last thing he expected to hear. Training with Aeleus might have been peaceful, but training with Even would probably be just short of torture. His displeasure must have showed on his face because Even added,

"Nine, I must politely ask you to grow up. Or do you still have an unfortunate aversion to hard work?"

Yuffie laughed out loud. Aerith nudged her. "Don't be rude," she whispered.

"…Then it's settled," Leon said slowly. "That's a relief, at least."

The conversation drifted to other subjects, but Demyx didn't process much, too busy dreading what would happen next.

He was woken brutally early the next morning. It fucking begins.

"Get dressed and come on," Even barked, and slammed the door behind him.

Demyx sat up blearily. It was still dark out; the clock on his bedside table indicated that it was 4:30 in the morning. He groaned.

Even popped his head in. "I do mean now," he said. "We have a lot to do."

Once he was dressed they set off at a brisk pace. Demyx expected Even to take him to the makeshift gym, but they proceeded right out of the castle without eating or even drinking.

"Where are we going?" He might have been stronger than before but he found it difficult to keep up with Even's pace.

"You will see," Even said. "I should like to get there before it's light."

They walked right into town through the massive hole in the Bailey. The light was getting gray now, so it was a little easier to see. Demyx's throat was dry and his early-morning hunger was becoming real hunger, but he had a feeling that none of these needs would be satisfied any time soon. He sighed.

They followed the rocky path deep into the crystal fissures. Without the light to make them shine, the crystals were massive dull monoliths. It was in this small cavern that Even sat and gestured for Demyx to do the same. He shut the small lantern he'd carried, leaving them in pitch darkness. Wasn't he concerned about Heartless?

"What do you hear?" Even asked in a low voice.

"Well…" not much. Their combined breathing, still slightly elevated from the brisk walk. His own stomach, growling quietly but insistently. A weak burst of wind whistling through the cavern.

"Listen closer," he suggested.

Demyx tried, feeling a little silly as he did so. He held his breath. At the very edge of his hearing, so low he thought he might be making it up, he heard a rumbling.

"Thousands upon thousands of years ago, all of this rock was covered by the ocean," Even said. "There is still fresh water deep below the surface. The minerals that ocean left behind formed these crystals."

"So… why did you bring me here?" By that point the sun had started to creep into the cavern. The crystals lit up, reflecting the orange and pink rays, in a way that was so beautiful he forgot everything else for just a moment. Until Even spoke.

"Because, by the end of today, you'll bring that water to the surface. We'll leave then and only then. Not before."

Updates might be a bit sporadic the next few weeks. I'm studying abroad and will be busy adjusting to my host university.

All my love.

-A