I'm Lost Without You
Rick and Michonne arrive at Hilltop not long after everyone else.
Enid can't bring herself to look at them, she doesn't know what to say. She knows the pair are probably just as, if not more upset than she is. After all, Carl was Rick's son and a surrogate son to Michonne. They had more a right to be upset then she did.
She always didn't want to see them because she knew if she did, she would breakdown again and all this stress wasn't good for the baby.
She hadn't thought about the baby a lot since she had returned to hilltop. The only person who knew was her. She was so unsure what to do, part of her wanted nothing more than to have this baby.
The other part of her wished she wasn't pregnant. She felt horrible for wishing it but without Carl gone she didn't know she could do this without him. They wanted a future together and that future had included having kids, if the world was kind enough to give them that opportunity.
Apparently the world hadn't been that kind to her. She was going to have a child, but she was going to have it alone, without her best friend, without her love.
She needed to clear her head so when Rick asked for volunteers for a strike team, she volunteered, she knew she shouldn't with her baby, but she didn't care she needed to do something to take her mind off of the current situation.
Had she known she was going to be paired with Maggie and Michonne, she would have stayed behind. Being in the car with the two woman who she was close with made her feel uncomfortable, they kept trying to engage Enid is conversation. She responded with one word answers.
The ambush was cut short, Rick had gone silent but before he did he warned them the saviours were closer to Hilltop then they had believed.
As soon as they got back Enid fled to the bathroom and puked for several minutes. Morning sickness she thought. The reality of her situation was beginning to sink in. she didn't know how to deal with this, she felt horrible and she needed to sleep.
She entered her room, with water and a sandwich, she needed to keep her strength up regardless of the fact she wasn't hungry she had to eat, for the baby.
As she searched her closet for something more comfortable she came across one of Carl shirts. He had left it there when he and the others had come to hilltop back when they had just started dating.
She hugged the shirt close to her body. She inhaled his scent, the mixture of pine and earth was comforting. She missed him and she then realized that this shirt was all she had left of him, besides the baby that was.
She cried for hours, clutching the shirt as she laid in her bed.
"I miss you Carl." she whispered into the shirt as tears soaked the material. "I'm so lost without you."