Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts. This is a not-for-profit fanwork.

XV.

Game Plan

Demyx's chest began to ache dully as he sat down in the meeting room. The talk had already started, so nobody really paid him any mind. Even Yuffie's gaze was milder than usual, more bored than hostile. He was too busy trying not to be noticed that he didn't see Sora until a few minutes later.

Sora didn't talk, and he barely seemed to be listening. His face looked drawn and exhausted, and he kept looking at the watch on his wrist. He caught Demyx's gaze and gave him half of a forced smile. Demyx looked away and saw Aeleus dabbing his sweaty forehead.

"So glad you joined us," Aerith said to Demyx. There didn't seem to be any irony or sarcasm in her voice. Then, to Aeleus, "I understand that there's been a lot going on over here. I'd like to take a look at that arm of yours."

"There's nothing more to be done," Even said before Aeleus could respond.

"If you say so," Aerith conceded. "Leon… where were we?"

"Sora was going to talk about his findings. Weren't you?" Leon prodded. Sora's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Your… your report, Sora?" He offered.

"Oh… right. That. Sorry. I'm pretty tired." He swallowed. "The reservoir is free of darkness. So are the labs. You guys should be okay getting back to work on the town."

Leon waited expectantly.

"That's pretty much it," Sora said. He fussed with his watch. "Pooh's doing great. Their world is one of the only ones that's untouched right now. As for everywhere else…" He paused. "You know, I'm not sure what else there is to do."

There was a lengthy and considerable silence. A pained expression twitched across Yuffie's face for a moment.

"What do you mean?" Leon asked. "Here? We're fine here."

"No. In general." Sora sat up. "I'm so… I keep following the vessels, you know. They have so many people on their side. They… they get convinced that darkness will help them, that it's worth fighting for. It spreads so much more quickly than I can undo. Even if I'm with Donald and Goofy. Even if I'm with Riku."

"…So we need to get ready to face the vessels," Lea said. Demyx noted his hesitation.

"No. Well, yes, but…" Sora paused again. "Even if they're gone… even if he's gone… I wonder if the poison he's spread will ever be able to be stopped. And we're just not ready for the fight. I know it has to happen eventually. But will we be ready before a lot of people get hurt?"

Yuffie slammed her hands on the table. "That's stupid! You're being stupid," she yelled at Sora. "We can always stop darkness. We've done it before again and again and we've always come back."

"I used to think the same. But now he reaches so far that we can't get a single move in edgewise. He knows everything. And nobody who seems to know can tell me his plan. Because if I know, then he'll know I know, and it's a big mess. And I… don't know what to do." Sora's hands tightened around his upper arms. "Guys, I don't know." His watch beeped and he groaned. "I have to go. Hey. I have to talk to you." He gestured to Demyx.

"Uh, now?"

Sora gestured for him to follow. They wandered out of earshot out of the rest of the group.

"You, uh, alright?" Demyx asked him.

"I'll be fine. I wish I could tell them that I can fix this. But I don't know how."

"And you're not used to that," he said without thinking.

Sora hesitated. "I'm sort of in a hurry," he said instead. "I wanted to apologize, first of all. Not just for… the fight. But for the other day. I hope the light helped you in a good way. I know I'm not exactly where I wanna be right now because of it. And I… I know you can help the town, with your power. All of you can. Please take care of them. I think… I think you guys could really help."

Demyx was almost dizzy with the surreality of what Sora was asking. "You mean fight with you?"

"If you want to. If it comes to that. I know it's weird and awkward and I'm asking a lot. But I wouldn't if I didn't have to."

He didn't know what to say.

Sora's watch beeped again. "Even if the answer's no, you should learn to fight anyway. Just to protect yourself. And now I'm really late!" He forced a smile and set off practically at a jog.

Demyx wandered back to the meeting room in a daze. His head was spinning, partially from the irony of what Sora had asked, mostly from bewilderment. Here was someone powerful needing him. It was an icky feeling.

The meeting had mostly broken up. Lea sauntered over to him. "What did Sora want?" He asked in a low voice.

Demyx told him in a few clipped sentences. "It's so… weird…"

"Whatever all of your choices end up being, he has a point," Lea said. "You've been wandering around town unprotected. I know it might feel safe, but I have a feeling it's gonna be a shitstorm."

He looked at his shoes. The sneakers were new to him, but worn. The toes were scuffed. "I don't think I know how. Aeleus was training me before, but that was like, so I didn't die. And I don't want to bother him more right now."

Lea smiled. It was empty. "You don't remember all the things you learned in Organization boot camp?" He laughed. "We can get together tomorrow, all right? Come to my district. Just bring yourself." He waved and headed off.

Demyx turned. He saw Yuffie and Leon talking in low voices, heatedly; Yuffie looked upset. Aerith saw him staring and smiled. "I'm so glad you're okay," she said. "We should have tea sometime."

"Sure," he said.

"Are you coming back to work soon? We've missed you."

He'd almost forgotten about the water project. "Yeah. I'm sorry. There's so much going on…."

"I completely understand." She touched his shoulder.

"It's not right, Squall!" Yuffie yelled. She left the room, her face drawn. Aerith sighed.

"Is she still mad?" she asked.

Leon closed his eyes. "She's always mad. This didn't help. I had hoped… that Sora would give us more to work with."

"You really can't blame him. He's a child. Anyone with half a mind can see he's burning out fast. He's doing his best with a complicated situation." She squeezed Leon's hand.

"I feel so helpless," Leon said. "Watching all this happen…"

"Me, too," Demyx offered. "But it sounds like the town needs you."

He nearly smiled. "You're right. I guess I'll see you soon, then."

The next morning, around midday, he slipped out of the castle and headed to Lea's.

He didn't know what to expect. Yes, Organization training had taught him the very basics, but not only was he rusty, he was weak. He'd never been much of a hand with weapons, and even though he knew disarming blows, they would all be virtually useless on anyone or anything he'd potentially fight. He felt ridiculous already.

Lea was waiting for him amongst the rubble, smoking a cigarette. "Morning." He climbed down. He'd pulled back most of his hair. "I've got something for you to borrow." He unclasped the brown holster around his waist. Demyx had never seen it before, but it was finely crafted—the leather burnished. Inside was a reasonably sized dagger, with a bone handle. The blade glinted blue in the light.

"Are you sure?" He asked.

"Of course. It was never really mine, anyway. I stole it from a pirate." He smiled. He took it back and held the knife up. "I musta been your age, I guess. One of our first missions to Port Royal. The dude was wasted and picking on some prostitute, so I knocked him out and stole all his stuff. I was so proud. But hey, I'm swimming in more than enough weapons." He laughed. "I know it looks delicate, but it's made of some improbable alloy. You need something small, anyway. I don't picture you with a sword. Your best bet is to be fast and sharp." He jabbed the dagger, then sheathed it.

He wasn't sure how to respond. "…I didn't realize you were such a connoisseur," he said.

"Nah, I just always had to know what I'm doing." He handed the weapon over, and Demyx slipped the holster around his waist. It felt awkward and heavy against his left hip. Lea stubbed out his cigarette.

"Thank you," he said, because it seemed necessary.

"Well, I didn't give it to you to look pretty." He summoned his Keyblade. "Let's get to work."

Demyx knew Lea was being easy on him. He was still getting his ass kicked. It was sundown, and the Keyblade was at his throat. Again.

"Better. You almost had me that time," Lea said. He fussed with his hair.

"You're lying," Demyx said, dragging himself up again, almost catching his hand on the knife. Damn thing. He would probably hurt himself more than anyone else.

"I really mean it."

He flexed his neck. He was more or less covered in bruises, and he could already tell how sore he'd be in a few hours. "Sure."

"Well, you are doing great. For a beginner." He stretched.

"Do you ever get tired of it?" Demyx asked, sheathing the knife. His shirt was stuck to him with sweat. He hated feeling grimy like this, unkempt. It made him feel less in control.

Lea yawned. "What do you mean?"

"Fighting."

He considered this. "Let's get a damn drink."

They returned to Lea's house. A swath of paperwork covered the table, but before Demyx could read it, Lea cleared it away and crammed it on one of the shelves.

"For the record, I'm fucking exhausted," Lea said. He took a glass bottle, half full, from one of the cabinets.

"I guess heroing is differing than you thought," he said.

Lea poured them both drinks, set the bottle down, and after a moment of thought, took it with him to the living room. "It feels the same," he admitted. "Like in the Organization. Exhausting, complicated, stupid… I just switched sides. I don't think I've slept more than an hour or two a night all week."

"…If you were so tired, you didn't have to train with me all day." He sipped at the drink. It was the same liquor as last time.

"I offered." Lea lit a cigarette and leaned back against the couch. "If Sora propositioned you, then you should be able to defend yourself."

He laughed weakly. "It's so funny. And so weird. Apparently I have the power to turn the fucking tide, or whatever." He looked at his glass, and then downed the rest in a swallow.

"It's not just you." Lea followed suit. "He wants all the old Organization members. With good reason. You're all powerful, and you could really help in the fight. I know you're helping hold down the fort, and Ienzo is trying to figure out what's wrong with all of you. And it's true that, if you joined us, it could be exactly what Xehanort wants. But a few broken chips are better than no chips at all." He poured them out another drink.

"You're not altered," Demyx said. He was starting to feel woozy already, courtesy of an empty stomach. "What's the proof on this?"

"'Hundred or so. Don't worry, I won't let you drink yourself silly."

"You know I've never really been drunk before? Isn't that weird?"

"I'd say you're well on your way." Lea laughed a little darkly. "It's hard for me, too. My metabolism's too fast. It figures. I can finally do what I want with my life, and not only do I voluntarily throw myself in the fight, but I can't even get fucking hammered properly."

He laughed, too. "You have all your memories, though. Don't you?"

"…Yeah." He tapped ash into a bowl. "I almost wish I didn't."

Demyx nursed his second drink. "I'm scared," he admitted. He pretended it was the alcohol making him say that.

"Of course. Shit, me too."

"Of my memories. I don't know what weird shit happened to make me a Nobody. I'm scared of remembering."

"It's not… pleasant." Lea looked up at the ceiling. "Damn. I have spiders again. When I reformed I remembered things for days. I'd try to make myself some fucking coffee and I'd remember all the awful shit that I'd done or all the awful shit that had been done to me. I admit it. I cried like a baby."

He looked at his glass and was surprised to find it empty. His legs felt heavy when he moved.

"…Starting to feel buzzed?"

"Yeah." He lay down. "Can I have another?"

"Alright, but then I'm cutting you off." Glass against glass and liquid pouring. "I guess that's why I came to Sora so quickly. I figured it would bring my conscience back towards zero."

"Lea." It was getting hard to talk. "How much of this is actually our fault?"

Silence. Demyx heard him smoking.

"Lea?"

"I'll tell you this because you're not sober. Too fucking much. We may have harvested Heartless, which theoretically might have saved a few lives. But we also planted darkness. Manipulated people in power. Hurt others for our own gain. Caused worlds to fall. Persuaded people to do things they'd never think of on their own. Murder. Kidnapping. Worse. And for what? In the end, we weren't even the real deal."

Demyx sat up to drink and got himself another. "Oh, god," he said. He didn't know which god he was referring to.

"And that doesn't even count the lab. You know I brought them there? The… the participants? They thought they were contributing towards something good. Public knowledge, and all that. But then we locked them up and we tortured them and we broke them. Shit. How many did I fucking have?" The bottle was empty.

"I dunno. Wasn't paying attention."

"Be so glad you weren't part of it, Demyx. So glad. I was jealous of you for it. Or as jealous as I could be."

The small part of him that could still think clearly noted this. The room was spinning a little. He felt tears in his eyes for no reason at all. "I feel weird."

"You're just drunk. It'll pass."

"No." The carpet was scratchy against his neck. "Just… in general. I don't feel like me."

"Tell me about it," he muttered.

"I just… want…" He could feel his lungs working inside him. "I have to pee."

"Then go, buddy."

Standing was treacherous. When he was done, he looked at himself blurrily in the bathroom mirror. He wasn't sure he liked how this felt. He poked at the swollen skin under his eyes. He had to hold the door frame for support.

He held still for a moment in the hallway. His mouth was starting to feel numb, too. He heard something funny happening in the other room, but his hearing wasn't working like normal. He poked his head back into the living room and saw Lea, knees pressed into his chest, sobbing.

Morning. An itchy blue couch. His head was pounding and he felt sick to the stomach. "…Motherfucker," he said out loud, putting his head into his hands. He'd never been drunk like that before, and now he was paying for it.

On the ground next to him was a mug of water, two little pills, and a note.

D—

Duty calls. Feel free to help yourself to all my splendor, and drink a lot of water. Meet me back here tomorrow.

-L

He went into the bathroom and threw up in the dark. After that, he felt slightly better. He drank down several glasses of water and the little blue pills and for a moment sat still. His muscles were practically throbbing from yesterday's work.

Despite the wicked hangover, he hadn't blacked out. He could still remember—though not clearly—what had happened last night.

It made sense now why Lea did what he did. Aeleus was right—he really was repenting, or at least trying to salve the massive guilt.

Demyx was guilty, too. They all were.

Despite the pain his head was clear. He was going to have to fight with them. The thought was surprising liberating, moreso than the thought of having no choice but to ride this out on the sidelines. "I'm fighting with Sora," he said out loud, just to hear it. He laughed until his sides hurt even worse than before, and because he was hungover and achy and hungry he indulged himself in a good cry. Afterwards he cleaned himself up, and took stock, with a curiously hardened sense of resolve.