Warning: Cyber bullying, bulimia, mentions of anorexia, and forced throwing up. If you are uncomfortable with any of those topics, please click out of this chapter.
Todomatsu, going through high school, was extremely popular. More popular than any of us could ever have been. He was the cute one as others put it, although as his brothers we could safely vouch that he was anything but cute, and we all share the same face!
He was sly, clever, cunning, and a tad bit baby faced, these things helped him survive through high school. Although, he didn't have to try to survive high school, he thrived through high school. He had girls and boys fawning over him. He was a complete magnet. I only wonder how he never got a girlfriend? Perhaps it would have been too much drama. Whatever the reason, it didn't matter. With being friends with lots of girls, he learned new make up tips. He often offered to do Mom's make up-hence where we all began to think that his sexuality was indeed for men-and he always did an amazing job! Mom would often have to keep herself from crying from how beautiful he had made her look so she wouldn't mess up the make up.
No, his high school years weren't too difficult aside from the anger he would sometimes experience from questions of his sexuality. He didn't experience bullying or fights, not first hand anyway. Of course, he witnessed others in fights, but he had never been on the receiving nor giving end of any fights.
He didn't experience bullying until our twenties.
His popularity did not end at our high school years. No, his friends that always followed him around school found his social media accounts and followed him there, which the sudden publicity quickly caused his social media fame to blow up as well. Not only Japanese speakers began to follow him, but English speakers, Spanish, German, you name it, they were in his comment sections. Karamatsu, by far, knew more English than all of us and would often translate easy sentences to Todomatsu if he was asked. As far as other languages went, none of us knew anything from them, and although Google translate wasn't always reliable, it usually got close enough.
Of course, Todomatsu tried to keep us out of his social media pictures so others thought he was normal. Although, our fellow students knew he was a part of a sextuplet clan, they never once mentioned it, seeing him as his own individual and not part of a six piece puzzle. None of us really blamed him for wanting to keep us secret, but it did kind of hurt. The fame Todomatsu had acquired perhaps made his head slightly bigger, but not too much around us. He got into little "rivals" with other social media accounts, making his popularity absolutely blow up. People were on Team Todomatsu vs some other person who had their own "team".
Yes, he was absolutely prosperous.
Until one comment sent everything spiraling down.
None of us knew of the comment that Totty had received. He never said anything nor did he show any new behavior that would indicate that he had been upset by a comment. But, then again, none of us had known that he had climbed mount Fuji, for fucks sake! But something like this was much different, especially since it lead down such a dangerous road.
Todomatsu, we had all began to realize after he reached a certain point, was getting smaller and smaller. His signature pink hoodie had begun to fit so loosely around his frame, along with all of his other favorite clothing articles. Eventually, he did become rather irritable, but we all thought nothing of it. Mood swings were rather normal in the youngest Matsuno.
This had been one of those days where most of the brothers were out aside for two, these two being me and Todomatsu. This was ever so rare. I hardly ever got stuck with the youngest, which I obviously wouldn't complain when I did. That day had been his off day from working at Sutabaa, which he was spending by lazing around on the couch and scrolling through his social media accounts. I thought nothing of it for this was normal Totty behavior. He had grunted slightly, causing me to look up at him in question. "You ok up there, Totty?"
He didn't really look at me, he just continued to look at his phone screen, staring at what I assumed to be a burn from another rival debate. "Th-That's not true! I am not like that!" He yelled, glaring at his phone. This confused me greatly. Usually the rivalries never got too heated, they were usually just in good, playful fun. But he seemed genuinely upset and angry. He looked to the bowl of carrots that he had been snacking on for a moment. The bowl wasn't very big at all. It was less than a soup bowl and would maybe suffice for a toddler. There hadn't been many carrots in there to begin with, and he hadn't eaten very many.
He shook his head and threw his phone on the couch in a huff. "I'm going to the bathroom." He muttered as he stood up and stormed off to our bathroom. This concerned me greatly. First of all, if Totty was truly going to the bathroom to take care of nature's call, he would have taken his phone, which was obviously what I drew my attention to first. The way he threw it down on the couch was a characteristic not within his personality. He treated that phone like a baby, with care. He washed the screen regularly and kept it close by at all times. For him to just throw it on the couch like this was definitely a red flag to me.
I looked around, making sure no one else was around. This was very frowned upon, I knew, but with Totty's behavior, something had to be wrong. I had seen Totty input his password so many times that it was embedded into my mind. I climbed up on the couch, taking his phone into my fingers. The silver outline shined gently against the sunlight that peeked in through the blinds of the living room's window. His phone, unlike others' who had screens that were smeared with fingerprints, was shiny and clean. Out of all of us, Todomatsu was the most germaphobic out of all of us. It was just another one of his many girlish tendencies.
I slid across his phone screen, delicately inputting his password in, and silently cheering when I was granted access. I was not greeted with a rival's screen. No, in fact I was in the midst of Totty's comment box. There were many comments from others in our spoken language and in English saying how cute he was, and asking if he was a model which caused me to roll my eyes.
For crying out loud, there are six others in this house hold that share the same exact face, I thought bitterly.
I was about to close his phone after first glance until a certain comment caught my eye by just a hair.
Damn, you're fat.
What was this person talking about? Totty is normal size, I thought confusedly. Well, he was anyway. I looked to the bowl of carrots on the couch that weren't finished. I wonder...
There was a whole string of comments attached to just that one, some in agreement with the original commenter's statement, others sticking up for Todomatsu, saying things like he was average size and wasn't here to please them. It made me smile to see others sticking up for my baby brother while I didn't even know about these cyber attacks.
There were so many nice comments.
But...
...there were so many bad comments.
You're so fat.
You're ugly.
No wonder you don't have a girlfriend!
You should make yourself throw up!
Delete your accounts! I'm so sick of seeing your face in my recommended features.
Could you be anymore fake?
I can see right through all of those cake layers of make up. Probably just as well as you could eat several cake layers.
Gosh, kys!
I hate you.
Get off the internet. You're so selfish!
Lose the chub.
What was with all of the comments attacking his weight?
I was getting sick of seeing all of these comments, I nearly blocked all of them or commented something of my own underneath Totty's account name. But I refrained from doing either of those to help Totty keep his reputation. But...was this what was making him so upset? Not to mention Todomatsu's sudden weight loss. There were so many comments concerning his weight, but Todomatsu was average weight for a man of his height and age! Was that just someone's go to insult if they didn't like someone? I understood someone not liking him, nobody likes everyone, but these comments were absolutely unnecessary.
That one that had said something about Todomatsu making himself throw up...he couldn't...no, he wouldn't...but he was getting really thin.
I slowly began to put pieces together as I threw his phone down on the couch in a similar fashion as he had before he had darted off to the bathroom. When I had reached the door that separated me from my baby brother, I stopped and listened.
I closed my eyes tightly, hoping, praying, that I wouldn't hear the sound of someone gagging. That he was just taking a dump or a leak and wasn't trying to empty the very little contents of his stomach in order to lose weight due to what some strangers said. That what I had seen wasn't the cause of Todomatsu's sour mood and weight loss. There had to be another logical reason for all this, wasn't there? There was now way in Hell that Matsuno Todomatsu was making himself throw up on purpose.
My heart sank. My blood turned to ice.
God, the hacking sounds sounded so pained. They sounded so gross and painful. I didn't make a second thought as I threw the sliding door open.
He looked back immediately, clearly attempting to catch a glimpse at the intruder. But I had seen the position he had been in before I had opened the door.
His fingers had been shoved down his throat.
"Get out!" He yelled at me, anger ablaze in his eyes. I shook my head at him, kneeling down next to him. I tried to not look at the foul smelling toilet, already knowing that it contained more than water. I didn't want to see my baby brother's forced vomit.
"T-Todomatsu..." I was speechless. I had been through some things. I had seen things like he wouldn't believe. Like any of them wouldn't believe. But to see this...I couldn't believe it. He looked away from me and down at the toilet instead.
"I know, I'm disgusting. It's fine, I'm fine. Just...please, get out, Osomatsu-niisan." I shook my head at this response, grabbing his hands in my own, ignoring the feeling of saliva on his right index and middle finger.
"You...You aren't disgusting." I said, breath completely caught in my throat in shock and horror. Was Totty under the classification of bulimic? Anorexic? I wasn't good with these names. But as soon as I had said that to him, he flew off the handle, standing up abruptly.
"Yes, I am!" He yelled. He left me standing there, mouth open as if I was going to say something, but my vocal cords remained dormant. My hands shook and my eyes were wide. I was scared. "All of those people online tell me how ugly and fat I am, and I can't take it! M-Maybe I am fat! But that's why I'm correcting it! But...I'm disgusting for handling it like this, aren't I?" He asked, voice shaking towards the end of his rant. His hands were balled into fists, which were shaking as well. His shoulders began to shake as well, and that's how I knew he was crying. "Osomatsu-niisan...I...I..." I could hear him sniffling, and I stood to his level, hands steady and voice now found.
"Hey," I spoke softly, "come here," He didn't hesitate to run into my open arms, begging to be enveloped into some assortment of a safe blanket. He nuzzled his head against my neck, sniffling and tears falling down his now sunken cheeks. My arms wrapped around his waste, and I was shocked at how much less of him there was to hug. It wasn't like we hugged often, but they did happen. He wasn't this skinny before. Gosh, he felt like he was all bone. How long had he been doing this? I placed a soft kiss against the top of his head. "You are not disgusting. No matter what you think or what they tell you...you aren't disgusting. We're just going to have to be more wary of how much you eat now so we can get you back up to a healthy weight, ok? That's it." I told him as I rubbed soothing circles on his back.
Todomatsu shook his head against my chest, beginning to sob. "Osomatsu-niisan, no. I c-can't eat. It...It hurts too much." He sobbed into my chest, clutching my red hoodie tightly in his fists. I nodded slightly.
"Ok, then we'll take baby steps. We'll start with some soups first, ok? Then we'll work your way up. Sound good?" I asked, worried about all of the steps we would have to take on this. No doubt Mom and Dad would need to know. Maybe we'd have to get him professional help, but we would get through this...somehow.
He sniffed. "I'll try...I'm scared, Osomatsu-niisan." I nodded.
"I know, Todomatsu. But things are going to get better, I promise. I'm here for you and so are all of your other favorite niisans," I told him, rubbing his back. He nodded gently, staying close to my chest. "Also, we all share the same face. If you're disgusting then so am I and the others. We don't look disgusting to you, do we?" I asked jokingly.
He moved back from my chest a little, examining my face, his fingers making a pinching symbol. "Maybe a little bit..." He joked with a smile. My hands immediately moved from around his waist to my chest, right over my heart.
"Oh, how you wound me, Totty!" I couldn't tell you about the relief that washed over me when I heard his soft giggle. If he could still smile and laugh, I knew things were going to be ok. "C'mon," I said, taking his hand in mine, "lets go get you some soup."
Lord, did it take a long time. The first few bites of soup he had nearly thrown up, food feeling foreign to his stomach after so long, even if he had been snacking on those carrots. He had planned to "get rid of them" anyways. But the more we tried, the easier it got. Of course, the easiness wore off later when it was time for dinner, but we just repeated the process.
Upon telling the others, Totty was showered with reassuring words and comments and hugs-courtesy of Jyushimatsu and Karamatsu-and concern. Precautions were taken, and expert help was gotten, and thankfully, Todomatsu overcame this speed bump.
No matter what my brothers have gone through or go through, I don't care the challenge. I don't care how much it hurts me if I'm going through my own battles.
After all, big brothers shouldn't worry the little brothers.
And that's the end of this chapter story. I'll be honest, Todomatsu's chapter was the one that I think I could have possibly done better on. Let me know if you would like to see a follow up story, perhaps of the brothers finding this little book that Osomatsu wrote, and their reactions to him saying that big brothers shouldn't worry the little one's? Thanks for reading!