Severide sat dozing off beside the bed of Kidd while visiting her. He had been a constant shadow of support for the injured members of 51 while they were in the hospital. Somehow being there for the Kidd, Casey and Hermann was a way to help him with his grief from the loss of Anna. He wasn't sure how this was helping him but Severide found a place to be needed. For once in his life Severide decided not to try to fake it until he made it. Anna had tapped into a part of Kelly and unlocked the more nurturing side of his nature. When Kelly lost Shay he had turned to booze and the short marriage to Brittany to fill the lonely void his best friend's death had left. Stella stirred beside Kelly who jumped slightly from his light sleep.
"Hey, when did you get here?" Kidd asked groggily.
Kelly shrugged nonchalantly, "Maybe about 45 minutes ago or so. I just came from Hermann's house."
"Oh year, how is he doing?" Stella yawned slightly and sat more upright in the bed and winced from the pain of her stitches. Thanks to Casey she had sustained a mild concussion and light shrapnel wounds. He had pushed her down and covered her with the piece of metal as the propane tanks exploded.
"He's doing ok. I think he is still in stock like the rest of us. It is gonna take a while since Mouch was his best friend. Hermann will be fine he has his wife and family to help him through things. You look a little pale, do you need a nurse or something?" Kelly leaned forward in concern for Stella's obvious discomfort.
Kidd shook her head and just stared at Severide for a long moment, "Kelly, what is going on with you?"
Severide rose and feigned ignorance as his friend's stare seemed to pierce into his soul," I don't know what you mean? I'm fine just a little tired."
"Ok, I call bull crap. I am not buying it. Why do you look worse than I do? Hell you even look better than Casey." Kidd tried to keep her concern for him sounding light. However, Stella could see the hours of sleeplessness and exhaustion etched on the handsome lieutenant's face.
"Thanks, I will be going now. Nice to see you're grateful for my company." Severide pretended to turn on his heels to leave as he tried to change the subject.
Stella's irises softened and her voice was in a more soothing tone, "Kel, I am worried. I am your friend you can talk to me. Come on how are you doing really?"
Kelly sat back down in the chair and put his head in his hands. He let out a huff of air and considered where to start. Severide ran his hands through his hair and then began to speak, "I miss her so damn much. The other day I opened my sock drawer and got a huge whiff of her cologne. She is everywhere I look and turn."
Stella nodded, "Yeah Kel, I know it's hard. But you have to go home sometime. You can't just keep avoiding your place because of her memories."
Kelly looked up with his blue eyes and shook his head, "I don't think you get it. Her last moments were here a few floors up. I feel closer to her here than at my place. Being with 51 and helping out makes me feel like I am a part of a family or something bigger than work. I may look tired but this is helping me."
Stella nodded and just kept listening as Kelly continued speaking, "Look I know that I am going to have to go home and face the empty apartment soon. But being here is helping me to stay out of the bottom of the bottle or someplace worse. So just let me grieve this way instead of being on some bender sleeping with the next warm body. Ok?"
"Ok I got it. So the nursing staff is about to serve ham loaf and lime jello for lunch. Do you want to hang around and watch the Cubs game with me? I don't have beer but I can get you an extra chocolate milk with a lime jello chaser." Stella smiled at her stupid offer and heard Severide let out a belly laugh while he smiled. At this point the two friends sat back and let the Cubs game engross them.
Down the hall a blond lieutenant flashed a week smile to his wife who had been staying at the hospital hovering over her husband like a mama bear. From the outside looking in the Casey's looked like a typical married couple with not a worry in the world. That was further from the truth since the last 3 days had been touch and go as Casey's life had hung in the balance. Gabby had spent many hours worrying and regretting the petty arguments that had lodged a wedge between them right before the fire. She knew that instead of Mouch it could have been Matt who died in the fire.
Casey had been hit by shrapnel from the propane tanks in the lower back and in his thighs. The shrapnel had caused heavy internal bleeding as well as caused damage to his spleen. The doctor's at Chicago Med had saved his life by whisking him into emergency surgery after he had flat lined in the ER. They had to go in a second time because Matt spiked a fever. There had been a wood splinter that was lodged in the fatty tissue of his abdomen that had been missed. Since the 2nd surgery Gabby hadn't not left Matt's side except to go home and change and come right back.
Matt called out to his wife, "When are they serving lunch? I am kind of hungry."
Gabby nodded and took Matt's hand, "It should only be a few more minutes baby. I ordered you some soup, jello and applesauce."
Matt grinned weakly, "Honestly, I would rather have a slice of pizza and a cold beer."
Gabby rolled her eyes but there was a serious look on her face, "One step at a time. Beer and opioids wouldn't make for a fun filled night for you. You have given me enough drama to last me the next 50 years."
Matt pulled her hand closer to him and spoke to her softly, "Hey, I am here and I am not going anywhere now. We talked about this ok? Everything is ok now."
Gabby shook her head and then leaned gently over onto her husband's pillow so that her cheek was touching his. "I could have lost you and I don't know how I would have handled it Matt. I am so sorry for choosing my dad over you. Sorry for not listening….. Gabby's voice trailed off at the thought of all that her stubbornness had almost costed her.
"Hey this is a hospital lady. If you are trying to get me into bed I am not that kind of guy." Matt tried to lighten the mood with a little humor.
Gabby pulled back from her husband's embrace with a half smile and tear stained eyes. "Matt, I am serious. I am sorry.'
"Hey no more I am sorry ok? You apologized and I accepted. The only things I want to hear about now is I love you." Matt lifted his thumb to Gabby's cheek as he brushed away her tear. She leaned down and kissed him on the lips.
"OK, I am married to the most amazing man. I love you."Gabby whispered as she gave Matt another peck on his lips. Then she pulled back slightly and saw the expression of love Matt wore in his blue eyes.
Gabby sat down on the edge of the bed and then lit up, "I have good news for you. Some very good news."
"So are you wearing the purple and blue panty set I bought for you but haven't seen you in yet?" Matt laughed and pumped his eyebrows up and down.
"No, that is not the news but when I get you home I can arrange to wear that on a long week end at the lake. I can put in some music and then get some whipped cream and strawberries along with some Hersey's chocolate. Then I'll put on some Sade and slowly rotate my hips to the beat of the base." Gabby's tone turned husky as she demonstrated with a slight gyration of her hips.
Matt's blue eye's narrowed and pleaded, "Babe enough, you are killing me with you teasing."
His wife broke out into a sexy laugh and then continued with her news, "OK, but as soon as you are recovered I am planning a weekend just like I said. But my news is that Dad is going to be staying with his brother for a while. My uncle could use the help on his rent and it would give my dad is own place."
Matt's voice filled with excitement," That's great news babe."
"Don't sound so excited mister," Gabby broke out in mock anger and then continued. "Dad and my Uncle seem really excited. He is also decided to maybe go to AA for the alcohol issue too."
"He'll do great. I know he will. And he will have our support too. Um when are the services for Mouch? I want to go and show our support for Trudy and honor Mouch too. He is going to be missed at 51." Matt looked at his wife with his blue eyes full of grief. Neither was a stranger to loss but it never got easier especially with as close as 51 was.
"Boden said that Trudy was going to have him cremated but the ceremony is going to be next week. His daughter has to fly in from Florida for the service. According to Burzek, Trudy is taking Randy's death pretty hard especially on the heels of losing her dad." Gabby looked at Matt and took and squeezed his hand. The only other thing she could manage was, "I love you now and for the next 50 years. I promise."