A/N Hey, people. It's been some time since I've written something on here, and I am deeply sorry for that. I could keep you up all night by spitting out excuses like a damn fire, but really, there just wasn't the right time and place. Just so you know, I had been thinking about the story, and now, there is some serious plot change coming up. Now, a lot happens in this chapter, mainly because, damn, it's almost ten thousand words, and I have been writing, just not posting… to be honest. So, now, enjoy emotionally unstable bitch of a future ninja who now cannot really hit shit, and her trusty companion, the dog.

Peace out.

When I finished chasing an old woman who was chasing my poor dog, and yelling something about perverted animal from her old vocal chords, I was totally lacking any willpower to fight anymore. My legs were finished, totally finished, and I was going to have to make myself a special aromatic bath this evening to relieve myself from the tension and pain. It was funny how the night chilling air did wonders on my heated lungs, and I wanted to bang my forehead onto the wall I was leaning against. Like, how stupid can one be? I'll tell you, I for one can be pretty much a queen of idiots, and I feel like even Naruto won't be able to surpass me on this.

I told myself, just have fun. Like, you know, as if there was nothing to worry about, as if I wasn't in a completely new and different world, like I wasn't bound to fall on my knees the very moment I would reveal my existence. The very moment I would look someone in the eye. I was like a ticking bomb, waiting for someone to set me off with a loud bam and countless dead bodies around me. I didn't… I didn't want to hurt people anymore. I wanted peace, with only my dog by my side. There was a reason why I didn't try to be a ninja. I didn't want to die, and I didn't want to fight. I didn't want to kill anyone ever again.

I've spent over twenty years fighting to survive, and I didn't even have to. I had a family, a loving mother and overprotective father, weird ass brother and gentle sister, and yet I managed to become a monster. I guess it was just my nature. I was greedy, wanting to have things we couldn't afford, so I started stealing. When that didn't cut it for me, I tried getting involved into mafia jobs, being the fastest and most sneaky gang member ever. They used me for assassinations. I sneaked in, silenced the target, and got out without alerting anyone. I was fast, and the very moment I got caught, I didn't try to fight back. I ran. I ran until I saw blur and I couldn't breathe. I ran until my black hair got out of my bun, and my blue eyes were wide with adrenaline. I ran long after they stopped chasing me. I just ran at night, jumping around and just being free. I didn't care I hurt people, and if my family knew, they would hate me forever. I didn't care I didn't have a reason, that I didn't have any sob story. I wasn't a tortured soul. I was just a greedy motherfucker whose biggest need was freedom, and who found it in running freely.

I realized I was a bad person long time ago. Firstly, it was when my hands got dirty with human blood, my clothes tattered. When I ran away from home, when I wanted the freedom they couldn't give me, when I didn't care about the love my mother showered me with, because their definition of love was locking me up. And they didn't bother to get to know me. They cared for the illusion of me, they loved the picture of me, the reflection in the mirror with bright makeup, bright eyes and bright thoughts. But my breath never smelled of fresh gum, but of rum. My eyes weren't lit up, instead covered in eyeliner. My face was covered in makeup to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes and worry lines over my lips. My body was scarred, so I tried covering that up with tattoos and my mother screamed in horror when I came visit, my arms covered in black ink. Permanent damage. On my body, on my brain. With every kill, I lost more of my beliefs. And I became numb, my smiles fake, my tears dishonest, and my hands skilled. Skilled in killing, skilled at hurting. I couldn't say I killed many people, never, but on the south side of Chicago, people were taught differently, and hurting people to the point it required immediate medical attention was nothing out of ordinary. Hell, even an occasional corpse was nothing to stop and look at.

My mother grew old, wrinkles on her face. My father kept sitting in that ancient armchair, looking through his photos from war in Vietnam. My brother went to Iraq, leaving us with a pat on head from my father and waterfalls of tears from my mother. I remember watching him with my lips in thin line. I didn't say anything, we always understood each other on a different level. He only needed one look in my eyes to understand I knew the horrors. And he was going to get to know them too.

My sister married, and moved out. She got pregnant, and I could swear my niece was the cutest thing in the world. I loved her, and I loved my sister, and her husband was amazing, and his mother made the best brownies. Every Christmas, they invited me over, so I wouldn't spend the night alone like always. But I wasn't alone, I had my nightmares of people I had to hurt. They were haunting me.

I wanted to stop. I wanted to get a job, find a man, have maybe not kids but at least a dog or a cat, and find a house with classic medieval windows and wooden decorations, and a big garden where I could grow trees and flowers and then grow old, spending days on the yard with kittens on my lap and visit my sister and nurse her grandchildren, being the best great aunt they've ever seen.

When they killed me, I was happy. Glad. Giddy. I didn't scream in agony, rather in happiness. Everything ended, all of my pain and suffering and the remorse, the regret and the hate I felt towards myself and towards the world for making me this way, it disappeared.

Until I was reborn.

And it started all over, all over again. People here were killers, hunters and suddenly, I became the prey again. I became the weak link, the one who couldn't protect herself. I only had two options. Hunt or be hunted. Eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed.

But I didn't want to kill ever again.

Yet, I knew I had to.

I knew I would be forced to, whether I wanted to or not.

I just didn't know what to do, how to act and what mask to wear. One of my many masks, my lying skills and my negative ways of living. They were always there, always being able to help me to get out of the most sticky, dangerous situations.

And suddenly, I was following the same pattern as before. The same circle I couldn't get out to for twenty years. A thief was only one step away from a killer. And I knew the time was going to come when I will have to kill. And I knew one day, it won't be for the self defense. But for the sole pleasure of it.

I gripped my hair tightly, forcing it upwards, my pitch black eyes wide. I slid down the wall behind me, and suddenly, I let out a piercing scream, my voice cutting through the empty street. I didn't want to live anymore, I didn't want to live the same life as before, I didn't want to follow the same pattern.

But I know I would.

Another shrill scream echoed in the night, and I tugged on my hair even stronger.

Why couldn't I just die? Why couldn't I just be free of my life as a monster, as a killer. Why couldn't there just be the comfortable numbness, the black and then nothing. I would even go with the afterlife, because there I wouldn't have to kill. My eyes were those of a killer, and my lips only whispered goodbyes to people I took their lives from.

I started choking. I stared choking on my screams, on the vomit in my throat, on the tears in my eyes and the pain I inflicted on myself in that dark alley in the middle of a fucking Konoha, a made-up village filled with made-up people and me, and mememememe. I was here, here instead of dying. I was forced to live with my twisted mind, to go through all of it again. I was going to hurt them again.

So don't get close. Don't get close, so you won't hurt anyone ever again. People like you, sick and twisted are alone, always and forever. Because is better to face the depths of your mind alone rather that drag some poor unfortunate soul into the mess that you are.

But… I won't kill again. I won't become what I became in my past. This is my chance to start again, to gain reputation that's good, to have friends and my own family and people that love me and-

You can't do it. You are born a killer, and you will die as one. There is nothing you can do about it. This world is filled with people like you, you are not the only one.

No, I'm not. This world is just as disgusting as I am.

Help them. Help them bring it down.

The voices chanted. There was hundred of them, and not only a single me. There were faces, shapes, shadows. Of who, I didn't know. I didn't know their names, or their appearances. But they had one trait similar. They were dead, and they were my fuel.

My true colors.

Dragging myself home was far more painful than I could've ever imagined. Half because my tiny body was more exhausted than ever, and half because I didn't really want to return back to that forsaken place. Sure, Konoha was my personal hell, but the apartment held the crown.

I considered climbing up to my room, and then let Hinata in as usual, but with the state of my mind and the crippling exhaustion, I chose to just simply open the door and walk in like and normal and sane person would. Well, if they weren't four. But considering events of the night, I couldn't bring myself to care about what could go wrong.

My hand twisted around the door knob, creating a small space just fit for me to slip in, preferably unnoticed. And for a split second, I really believed I was about to get away with my sneaking out. That was before the lights turned on, and I was greeted with the sight of very unimpressed Aiko.

She looked just as much a mess as I felt. Her makeup was smeared everywhere, something she never let me see. Still wet mascara stains covered her pale cheeks and freckles, and her lips were bitten to the point she drew blood. Not that her clothes received any different treatment, wrinkled and dirty. She was sprawled over the stairs, barefoot. But the moment I made my existence known to her, she shot up from her lounging spot like an arrow. Her mouth repeatedly opened and closed for good three minutes, her eyes switching from me to the two boxes beside her.

"You…" she choked out, and the voice that came out of her was raspy and nearly unable to understand. "Where were you?" the volume got higher with each voice and her whole body was shaking, as if she was just barely holding on, the muscles of her hands twitching. "Just where the fuck have you been? It's past midnight, and you just show up like nothing's fucking wrong." Me being, well, me, I had to wonder if she'd ever realized that I was, in fact, a four year old. She was speaking to me like age was just a number. Which was totally fine by me, age was just a number in this case, but prison wasn't just a room, and I was pretty close to reporting her from time to time. This wasn't going to win her Parent of the year for sure, once again. "You are four!" Oh, so she did know. "Four, and already running away like a rebellious teenager. What have I ever done to deserve this?!" she was doing a full-on shitfest now, with her arms flailing around like a flag, nearly knocking down one of the paintings on the wall. The eyes that normally looked at me with just a little more than ignorance were now blazing, the green even more vibrant.

"Nothing." I mumbled. It was more out of habit than anything, really. My mouth seemed to have a mind of its own, and that mind was acting pretty irresponsible now. But Aiko stopped the eruption of years of suppressed anger, instead she let her arms fall limp by her side, completely stunned. Which was what made me realize my slip up. And also urged me to continue, because maybe for the first time ever, she was about to listen. "Nothing, and that's the point. For the past few years, I was something like dust on the top shelf. Quite unpleasant, but everybody's too lazy to actually go and get it. And now you suddenly care because why not make this even more confusing?" My voice held and edge to it that I didn't know four years old vocal chords could produce. It was cold, much colder than appropriate. But just as much as I wanted it to be.

"You... speak…" Aiko's words were a whisper that barely left her mouth before turning to nothing. "Since… when…"

I shrugged nonchalantly. "For two years now. Three already, I guess."

"And you haven't ever talked?" Aiko sputtered incredulously, pure shock evident in her eyes.

I put my hands inside the pockets of my pants, leaning backwards. "And why should've I? It's not like anyone's bothered to listen." I knew I made a mistake. Should have been more careful. But at this point, I just couldn't stop the words flowing out of my mouth. Everything I wanted her to see, to understand for past four years, now I was able to show.

A cake flew past my face.

My eyes widened as the large chocolate thing missed my just by hair and then slammed on the yellow-ish wall behind me, leaving a large brown stain that I doubted was possible to get out. Aiko was beyond furious, her chest heaving with a mixture of panic and anger. Only now I noticed the resemblance between us. The sharp look she was giving me, almost wild, was something I saw when I looked at myself in the mirror. It was something I was so used to seeing before, when I was still where I belonged, before all this madness started.

Ha. I guess they got my genetics right, at least.

For few intense seconds, it was just a stare down between us two. The dim lights made her look awful, and I assumed it did no wonders to me, either. But before she could say anything, anything at all, I raised my hand. "Thanks for your concerns, Aiko. And for the cake, too. I'll make sure to pay back for it somehow." It was almost funny, coming from a four year old. To pay her mother back for a birthday cake, all the formal speech. But I figured, if we were in such a world, better make the most of it. As far as I knew, ninja weren't much for affection, more for formalities. Aiko never strike me as overly affectionate, yet this little monologue was a low blow. She was my mother, after all. But somehow, I couldn't bring myself to care.

"What do yo-"

"If you excuse me." I peeled myself off the wall that I subconsciously leaned on for support, and aimed it to the stairs, pushing past her. She was taller than me, so much taller. When we were on arm's length, our eyes locked, and I could see the silent plead to stay. She was young, unexperienced with children, she didn't know how to be a parent. Normal mother wouldn't let me leave, hell, a normal mother would've never done something to push her child to this point. Granted, I was no normal child, either. An adult mind trapped in such a fragile body. And yet, even if I understood, I couldn't simply be the bigger person. Partly because of my bruised ego, and partly because I've always been a master at holding grudges. Irrational as it seemed, I broke off the contact, assuming it would sever the last ties between us.

The house was silent as I walked up the stairs to my room.

I was sat on my window, legs hanging down from it. Sleep just wasn't coming, but on the brighter side, neither was Aiko. The woman seemed to be giving up.

I, on the other hand, did quite the opposite.

The wheels in my head turned, spinning beyond control.

Somewhere between my house and some storage room, I realized the boy I had so effectively pissed off was Kakashi. That realization did no good to my already distressed state of mind, as I realized what period was it. Precisely. Kakashi looked around my age, maybe a year older, at max. Sure, that short stack was powerful as fuck already, speaking from a point of a girl whose biggest asset was her fucking dog. But there were more terrifying things. Fact that Kakashi would be graduating soon, and also, the soon-to-be war hanging above me like a guillotine, made my skin crawl. War meant casualties. Casualties meant death.

I needed to get stronger. Right now.

I vaguely remembered that there was something like a library in the village, and that was the only place I could start in. A small smile stretched over my face and I turned around to look for Hinata, when a loud bark made me nearly lose my balance. I quickly glanced down, satisfaction hitting me as I saw Hinata staring right back at me, his tongue flailing from his mouth. "You really are way too intelligent." I jumped down the window, grabbing hold of everything I could in order to support myself. Something I had realized through the years of living here was that, in actuality, these bodies were equivalent to those of a well-fit adults in my world. And while the fact was supposed to be disturbing, it was actually quite the opposite. The thought of my body being able to do literally impossible thrilled me. And a small part of my mind wondered just how far into impossible I was able to jab without falling apart.

I landed with ease granted both by memories from my previous life and the superhuman body from this life, and straightened up.

My dark coat flailed behind me as my footsteps became more frantic, eventually breaking into run with Hinata close behind me. I pushed past everybody, and even I didn't know where was I getting the energy from. It was like, ever since Aiko, something inside me snapped. Something that released every single drop of energy, like lightning, through my body.

It oozed power, death, sadness and happiness. It was a mixture of everything and nothing. It was beautiful.

I stopped when I came across a puddle.

Wild hair, wild face… and the eyes, pitch black, like a horror movie.

I stomped right on it, and continued. There was nothing to see.

It was almost sundown when I reached the riverbank, light bathing the village in orange and red. The soft, dusty ground creaked under my bare feet as I sat down on the edge, folding my legs into crisscrossed position. I let my cloak fall beside me, and smiled slightly as I opened one of the books from the stash beside me. A small yawn escaped my lips- well, I did spend the whole day there, losing my precious sleep. I was perfectly aware that my small body wasn't able to endure such careless treatment, and that I was going to have to make up for the lack of sleep, but right now, I just couldn't help myself. It was all just too much, too fascinating for me to just let go.

Chakra. That was the thing that took a grip on my mind the most, yet I couldn't quite decipher it. All that I was able to get from these books were insignificant information, basic knowledge. I needed more… depth. More details. Just… something I would be able to grab a hold onto.

Yet, the interest was so strong I got lost in the book again, reading each sentence three times over just to make sure I got it right. I was so engrossed in it, that I didn't even notice the subtle shifting beside me, until it was too late.

"May I ask, what are you reading?"

My head snapped up, anger flooding me and the thought of someone disturbing me .that. But I was met with crinkled eyes and a broad smile lined with numerous wrinkles. The woman beside me was old, so old I was afraid she would crumble beneath a small blow of wind. Yet she was by no means fragile, more of a stone figure chipped up by time. Her graying, fading red hair framed her face with grace I knew I was never going to be able to achieve, and she was beaming at me. It was the friendliest, most knowing smile I've received in long time, even before my death. That worried me. "A book."

The answer as rather rude, yet she just let out a small, delicate laugh. "I know that. I mean, what about."

I crinkled my nose in confusion. Couldn't she just look at the title or something? But to maintain my mental peace, I answered hoping to get through this conversation as quickly as possible. Sure, her presence was shooting, and she seemed generally nice. But that was just precisely what unnerved me the most. How nice she was. How… motherly, warm she felt. "Chakra." I offered a simple answer, but the demanding silence forced me to elaborate. With a sigh, I closed the book. "The meaning and consistency of it. Though, I am almost done with it and I still only know the basic info."

She must've noticed my displeased tone, which I wasn't able to hide due to my exhaustion, both mental and physical. But she just chuckled all the same. "Yes, well, most generally-available books don't offer wide knowledge. But… aren't you old enough to know about chakra?" She asked with just a hint of curiosity lacing her harmonic voice.

I nearly coughed on my spit. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…" The woman looked positively confused. "Kids around your age should know about those things, especially during the times of war… had they not taught you in the academy?"

I froze. How old did this woman think I was? Then, an idea crossed my mind, and I stuck my tongue out at her, silently, careful not to make any disturbing movement or sound. She didn't even blink, instead, she looked at me with those blank eyes of hers. My shoulders slumped in relief. She was blind, that explained why she misjudges my age. Yet, I couldn't help but feel like there was something a bit… off.

"Also, someone with such unnatural chakra… you definitely should have some knowledge." The old woman mused, mostly to herself.

My features morphed into a scowl. But I did my best to alter at least my voice, to appear nonchalant. "Oh, I did know the basics already. I just want… wider knowledge, per say."

The woman smiled. She relaxed beside me, sitting cross-legged just like I was. For someone of her age, that was definitely some flexibility. I was quite sure that she was a ninja, or at least used to be, by now. The way she spoke and carried out every movement with grace, how perceptive she was… she must've been more than strong in her prime. Even her robes, as simple as they were, screamed wealth. There was a crest on her back, one I faintly recognized. A clan member, huh…

"Well, you haven't graduated yet, I take it?" she said, searching for confirmation.

I shook my head, forgetting she wouldn't be able to see me. "No, I haven't." technically, I wasn't lying. I scratched Hinata's head that he absentmindedly put on my knee, and sighed. "But that's not stopping one from gaining knowledge, is it?" It wasn't a jab, though it might've sounded like that. I was actually hoping, by now, that she was able to help me. Hell, I knew she was, I just didn't know how to make her to do so. So I tried the best approach. Guilt-tripping. "I… I want to be able to be good. Better than most, actually. So I can protect them. You said it yourself." I let a sigh fall out my lips. "You've said it yourself. These are troubling times."

"Do you belong to a clan, young one?"

I grit my teeth. Clan, clan, so much about these clans. "No." I told her, keeping the bitter edge to the minimum. "That's why I need the most help I can get."

"Who do you want to protect, then?"

I closed my eyes. No one. "Everyone."

It was quiet for a minute, but it stretched out into a century for me. "Chakra," she begun, her voice soft and tired, like wind rustling through leaves. "Is a mixture of spiritual energy and physical one. But I'm sure you already know that. It's Heaven and Earth. Everybody has limited amount of chakra, but they can expand it, just to s certain level. And then there's them… But you most likely know that by now…" She railed off softly, and I made a noise in agreement. "But… there's a story my husband told me a while ago, that has been passed through his family for generations. Chakra originally belonged to God Trees. When Kaguya Ōtsutsuki ate the fruit the God Tree bore, she became the first person in Earth's history to wield chakra. With her new-found power, she ended all the wars that plagued the lands. Her sons, Hamura and Hagoromo Ōtsutsuki, were the first people to be born with chakra. Hagoromo spread chakra to others through a practice called ninshū, intending to create peace by using the chakra to connect people's spiritual energy so that they would understand one another without even talking. However, the people did not use chakra in the way Hagoromo hoped, instead using it to connect their inner spiritual and physical energies. They kneaded their inner chakra to amplify and weaponise it, creating what is now known as ninjutsu."

I stared off in space. "So… it says that chakra is limited… can it, I don't know, not be?"

"Yes… It's called the Sage mode. People who can use Sage mode can draw out energy from almost everything around them."

"How?"

"It has many rules… of course, those with dojutsu have it still easier, but…"

I made a sound of protest, indicating that I didn't have one fucking clue what a dojutsu was. Sure, I knew it was the flashy red eyes and all, some info just sticks, but everything behind it… it was confusing.

The old woman inhaled softly, a wheezing sound that pierced through my ears, making me shutter involuntary. She opened her mouth to speak, then close it again. With grace I didn't know that was even possible at this point of life, she stood up, her robes flowing behind her like a wave. "Follow me."

I didn't have a choice. None of it gave me a choice.

The compound screamed wealth. It was beautiful, really, with huge ass trees and green enveloping me. The grass felt good against my cold, bare feet and finally, I could smell something more than just city gutter and Hinata after days without bath. It was… calming me.

The old woman in front of me was sure of her steps even if she was blind and weak, like an old mountain lion on its last hunt. With her fragile hand, she pushed some leaves out of our way, which I had to duck to avoid. She led me to the back of the compound, where few garden chairs were sitting in front of a small table, and fresh flowers on it. I wondered who took care of it here, because I doubted the old woman was capable of doing all the chores herself, even if she tried her hardest.

She sat on one of the chairs, and I figured I was to sit next to her. I was still baffled by the situation. Something in my mind screamed for me to take a leave as soon as possible, that this woman was too powerful, too important, to stay alert. But the warmth radiating through her, made it impossible for me to leave. I didn't want to. So, I made myself comfortable on the chair, and she did the same, only more dignified.

"See, young one." She started, her voice mixing with the soft wind. "I know it must be weird for you, to have the Mito Uzumaki herself invite you to the Senju compound, but…" My eyes widened. Mito Uzumaki… the woman with Kurama inside her, first Hokage's wife, something like the very first First Lady of Konoha, was sitting in front of me, telling me stories about chakra. I couldn't decide if I was really fucked, or just slightly.

"Why?" I managed to choke out of myself.

She smiled softly, and it made her ten times younger. "Because, young child. There's something… old, inside your young body. I cannot explain it, but I am a chakra sensor, after all. And I know that most would blame it on my age and call it old people's nonsense, but I know that… you need nutrition, just like these flowers and trees. You are older than you think. And… in these dark times that are about to come, you need to be strong. Again, maybe it's just my senility speaking… but you have the most unnatural chakra I've seen a while. I think the world deserves to have you informed."

"The world…" I whispered, bewildered. What did the world have to do with any of this?

"Yes. I've been there through many hard times. This one… it will be one of the worst." Mito's voice was laced with pain only a veteran could have inside themselves. "So, my child, now I want you to listen." She produced a scroll from her sleeve. "And learn from the old bed time stories."

And so, I did. I listened, and for the first time in a while… I learned.

I left the compound as the morning birds chipped and the streets were coming to life. I was there all night, with a woman who never stopped talking. She was like a machine, jumping from one thing to another, and all of it about chakra. I didn't know that there was so much to learn about one single thing.

But it was still just a theory, basics that we covered. Sure, I knew a bit more, but we couldn't go in depths. I was untrained, save for the few survival skills, and she couldn't trust me completely. Despite that, I realized one thing… I needed to learn to control chakra. That was the key to everything, really. Chakra.

So, I didn't go home. Instead, I went to a clearing deeper into the large woods of Konoha, and plucked a leaf from the nearby tree. I smiled, as I examined the tiny green thing. So… I was supposed to stick it to my forehead, right? Now, that had to be easy.

It was not.

I didn't know if the ninja cheated with some superglue, but somehow, the thing just wouldn't stick to my skin no matter how hard I tried. It was just impossible.

Fueled by frustration, I slammed my tiny fist into one of the tree trunks, and winced when I saw blood dripping from my knuckles. It was impossible, all of this was impossible. How could she simply think she would be able to get miraculously strong? She wasn't from a clan, she wasn't an important ninja's daughter, and she was a low born kid of an illegal weapon seller. It just simply didn't add up.

"What is it, cold feet has troubles?"

I bristled as my inner hate spree was interrupted by voice that I pretty much hated by now. That white haired prick was leaning against a tree, with that stupid knowing smile on his face. He was mocking me, he really was mocking me.

"First off," I turned around to see him face to face, with my face morphed into a scowl made of all the suppressed emotions inside of me, "What the fuck does cold feet mean? And also… no. no troubles at all."

He was still leaning against that stupid tree, and I would've informed him he was not James Dean, had he known who that was. "It's a simple chakra exercise. How do you not know that?" I realized that he kept silent about the cold feet comment, but decided against asking him. I was going to dig it out of him either way.

"Because I am a fucking loser, whatcha think?" I drawled out, irritation getting the best of me.

"Look…" Kakashi started, coming closer to me. I wasn't sure if he wanted revenge or just simpy mock me, but it made me pretty anxious. "Father says that all good things come from practice." He seemed pretty uncomfortable, chewing on the inside of his mouth. Like he didn't really want to be here talking to me.

"Father says… what does your father have to do with me being unable to do shit?"

He looked even more sheepish now. I smirked. "You told your father about a chick who kicked your ass."

He straightened in shock. "First of all, you didn't kick my ass, you just got cold feet and ran," well, that much about the cold feet comment, "And second… how was I supposed to explain why I was out so late and why I had dango sticking out of my head?"

I laughed in mirth, simply because damn, even the great white fang now heard about my little rendezvous with chibi Kakashi, now that made me happy. Also, filled with pride. I assumed that Sakumo put some sort of bug into his head, something about me having potential… which lots of people had been thinking those days. I knew I should've felt bad, considering I was cheating the whole world with being reborn and having some sort of skills from my past life, but hey… I didn't really ask to be here. So I had to squeeze out every last bit of juice I was left with. That being said, had I known I was annoying the Kakashi himself, I would've stuck the dango to my mouth, not his hair.

"That… makes sense." I rubbed my chin, and then turned around, flipping my hair. "Still doesn't help me with any of this, though."

Kakashi sighed. "You need to concentrate. You know? To mix up all that stuff inside yourself and then do it. Like… equally." He was struggling to explain me this, I knew it.

"Uhm… And how do you know it?"

"I read some books." He admitted offhandedly, like it was supposed to be obvious.

I kicked the dirt under my feet. "Well, so did I. And I can't do shit."

"Did you train enough?" He asked me, and my eyes widened.

"Train? Like, physically?" When he hummed in agreement, my hand flew to my forehead. Of course I haven't. I only climb stuff, I don't really do anything else. "I really don't know how to do all that kickey punchey stuff." I did know some sure, and a shit lot of dirty street fight skills, but nothing I had trained to perform in this tiny body, or with this type of strength. But I knew, or at least assumed, that they had some flashy forms and all that nonsense that I was about to learn if I ever stepped a foot into the academy in the future… an institute I wasn't really fond of.

Kakashi snorted, looking down at me in both physical and metaphorical way. I was two seconds from strangling him. "I figured that much. Look, you must know that it's a mix of spiritual and physical energy." I only awarded him with a nod. "So, you are supposed to train your body and mind the same. Like, kicks and punches, yes."

My eyes widened in realization. Sure, I knew about that from the start, but it never occurred to me that what was a physically fit body in my old world was considered the norm for this one. A smirk stretched over my lips. "Like this?" I took a deep breath, and begun a simple form I remembered from the muay thai lessons my uncle provided as a retired professional fighter. It was a sad story, really, a man who came from nothing, had his minutes of glory, and then by a sheer joke of fate and his own incompetence lost all. At least he got some kick ass moves from all of it, and he passed those on us. I performed a standard routine, my tiny body turning and twisting just the way I wanted it to. Sure, the movements were a bit sloppy, my muscles being untrained and weak, yet I was pleasantly surprised the hours of drill did me justice.

Kakashi quirked a brow at me. "Where did you learn that? I haven't seen that style of fighting anywhere?"

"I read some books." I smiled cheekily at him. I rubbed my head with the back of my hand, glancing at him from in between my fingers. "You train a lot?" It was a stupid question, but I was a kid, and kids were allowed for that. Well, not really a kid, but hey, technicalities.

Kakashi nodded, a perfect image of miniature seriousness. "Yes. I want to be a perfect shinobi, just like my Tou-san." I was pleasantly surprised at his usage of words. In my old world, kid around four were hard to understand and even harder to take care of. It was almost scary to see how a tiny fighting machine carried a real sharp object and probably was even taught how to aim it accurately while throwing, when I couldn't get my eight year old cousin to eat veggies. I didn't really bother to comment how his need for perfection was gonging to bite him in the ass one day.

I stared at him, wheels turning in my head. Direct approach wouldn't work well here. Maybe… "I have to go home, now, but I will surely practice what you advised me tomorrow. The training grounds look to be free around this time of day, I feel like starting to use it to my advantage." I nodded at him, not quite a bow, yet a sign of acknowledgement. I could see the seed planting in his head, and his eyes lightning up. That kid needed to work on his deception skills… then again, it was really just a kid, albeit a genius one.

I turned around, my hair flopping against my shoulders, Hinata hot on my heels. I didn't really know why I needed him, r why I even wanted him to train with me. Maybe it was because of the excitement this would produce, maybe because I felt a little too helpless around this new order and new way of life. Maybe because I had no idea about proper taijutsu forms, and because I couldn't really ask any older, more experienced ninja to help out without being suspicious as hell.

Maybe I wanted a friend,

On my way home, I divided my body in two.

My mother wasn't home, again. It didn't really come off as a surprise, yet a small part of me hoped that after the incident, she would want to make up or something. And once again, life proved m wrong.

I cut it straight to the kitchen, to garb some almond milk from the fridge. Hinata was already by my side, ready to put in his helpful paw, but my eyes switched from him to the fridge, and slowly, I shook my head. "I cannot let you by my ladder forever, you know?" I sighed, and placed my tiny hands on the counter. I could only reach it with my fingertips, and an irritated sigh escaped my lips. Barely there.

Hinata howled in protest, but once again, I shook my head, this time more sure. "Shut up and let me think." It was eating me up, after all, most of the kids had already started training, just look at that brat Kakashi, and he was already a shinobi in bloom. And what was I? A powerless civilian. It made my head hurt. I was tempted to make my own way, to use my surroundings, yet I dismissed the thought. What was having chakra good for if I continued working in the same manner as before, during my times before death?

She shook her had. Kitchen wasn't the best meditation place, so she moved a bit to sit on the balcony of Aiko's room, sunlight hitting her face. She never liked Konoha's bright sunlight that much, appreciating the darkness a lot more.

Kinnosuke closed her eyes, the eyelids letting in just a bit of the light through. She evened out her breath, slowing down her intake of oxygen to the point it was almost impossible to know whether she was even breathing or not. Her palms were folded, her legs in a lotus position, and she let her bangs fall freely over her face just to shield her a bit from the invasive sun.

She dived inside herself.

It felt awful at first, like swimming in a pool of mud, and she hated the murky waters. She couldn't breath properly and it was suffocating her… then, she accepted it. She calmed the heart rate inside her that had picked up during the moment of uncertainty.

The air around her shifted, suddenly clear and sharp and a kunai. The water got clearer, a lot clearer than she had expected, and she realized it was evaporating in the air. It was slowly disappearing, changing the space into nothingness. Her fingers shot out, trying to grasp at least some of the water around her.

Something dark was lurking inside her, something rotten and she felt the smell of blood in her nostrils, the copped enveloping her. Something wasn't right.

Suddenly, everything around her was buzzing. It was like there was a source of raw energy. She turned around, in circles, to find the source. But then, her eyes widened in realization, and she stopped. She took a deep breath.

She thrust her hand deep inside her heart. She pushed, pulled and molded, the raw, buzzing energy inside her. She enveloped it in her hand, and listened to it.

It was like… twi flames, one black and one red, mixing with each other, dancing. They felt hollow, dark. She could feel it warming her up with something unimaginable, something rotten and too warm to the point it was burning her up from inside. She tugged on them, separating them, and then she let go. They clashed with force unimaginable, filling her up with something more than she could've ever imagined. Filling her with heat stronger, more intense than anything she'd ever seen.

She felt… whole.

And that when she shot her eyes open, burning.

I was standing in front of the Senju compound, banging my fist on the wooden gate. Hinata wa standing next to me, but not as close as before. I felt like he was afraid of me, and I understood why. There was a feverish glint in my eyes, and sweat forming on the base of my neck. I didn't even put my shoes on, I just jumped the balcony like no matter, Hinata following me by smell only. I ran the whole way there, something pushing me.

Mito opened the door, glancing tiredly at my energy filled form. "What is it, young one?" she asked, slightly perturbed by my sudden appearance.

I panted slightly. "I did it." I said, then repeated it with much more force, when she didn't react. "I did it! I found the charka inside me. I did it."

Mito's eyes widened. "Come inside, young one." She said, urging me to follow her. We walked up to one of the larger trees, and Mito sat under it, motioning me to follow her example. I didn't, I couldn't stay unmoving. "Tell me, what did you feel?"

I took a deep breath, and then stopped. "I… don't know." I lied through my teeth.

Mito's face morphed into an expression of displeasure. "Give me your hand, child." She said, and when I didn't comply she boomed. "Now!"

I reluctantly put my hand into her wrinkled one. She closed her eyes, and suddenly I felt something invading me, something to bright and warm, and I recoiled. I wanted it out, it was hurting me, fuck, just stop it, stop it, "Stop!" I screeched and got out of her grasp.

Mito's face softened. "Tell me, dear, do you believe in reincarnation?" she asked, and I froze.

"Why would I?" I feigned ignorance, but my voice was wavering far too much for my liking.

Mito took in a sharp breath, shuddering. "Your charka, it's not normal…. It burns me. And it's not because you have fire affinity, no… it burns my bones. I believe… and before you dismiss me, hear me out. I believe that you'd lived a life before this, and you were destined to end up in hell. Yet, you escaped it, somehow. And maybe… some of the hell's flames stuck to your soul. I don't know how to explain it properly, youngling, but there's something wrong inside you that shouldn't be there." The slight quiver of her voice exposed something she didn't tell me… she was afraid of my charka. Disturbed.

I gulped. "Are you… afraid of me?"

Mito breathed in loudly. "No. You are a good child. I am not afraid of you, but for you."

I grit my teeth. If only she knew. She didn't know that I was not a child, and all the thing I'd done before. She didn't know she was cradling a snake under her breasts. But when I looked at her fragile form, there was something like affection stirring in my gut. I would never hurt her. I felt my posture ease up. I fell down beside her, and grasped her hand in mine.

"What do you mean?" I mumbled.

"My child, I bear something bed, enormous inside me." The kyuubi, I remembered. "And it tries to overpower me from time to time, it tries to go out. But… I've learned how to control it. The bad inside me."

I looked at her. "How?"

She smiled softly, and jabbed her fingers into my chest. "With kindness of heart." She got up slowly, leaving me stunned. "I'll bring some tea, and we'll resume our lessons." She wobbled away.

I put my head in my hands, clutching my scalp. Hinata came to me, seeing as I finally calmed down, and rested his head on mine. "But what if I don't want to?"

I didn't have the heart to tell her that I had almost none kindness left in my heart, as I saw her returning with a steaming pot.