WARNING! Potentially triggering talk about death. WARNING!

"Here you go, Mamoru." Yanagi's voice called out from behind me, making me turn to see him holding out a small wrapped box in his hand.

I took it with a raised eyebrow, "Thanks Yanagi-senpai, but what's this for?"

Yanagi gave me a confused expression, "Was it not your birthday on Saturday?"

I stilled and noticed that Sanada had flinched from the corner of my eye. Saturday was when I saw Atobe.

"EHHHH?!" I heard three loud voices cry in unison, coming from Akaya, Niou, and Marui.

"It was your birthday Mamoru?" Marui asked with wide eyes, "Why didn't you say something?"

I looked at the present in my hand blankly.

"Mamoru you didn't tell me it was your birthday!" Akaya whined, "I would have gotten you something!"

I glanced at Niou who put me in a headlock, "Geez brat you should have told us."

I could see Sanada behind them, with his head lowered, tensed up. I put him out of his misery, "Thanks Yanagi-senpai!" I thanked cheerfully. I turned to the the other members, "Sorry I didn't mention my birthday, I guess I don't really celebrate it so I didn't really think about it." I explained sheepishly, "Sorry," I repeated.

"Eh?!" Marui asked, his eyes wide, "You don't celebrate your birthday? Why not?"

I smiled awkwardly, "There have been some important family deaths on that day, so it's not really a day my father and I want to celebrate." I admitted.

The three musketeers grew silent.

Jackal gave me a concerned look, "Mamoru, if you want to talk about it-"

I shook my head, "Don't worry about it senpai!" I did my best to reassure him, "It's been a long time since then-"

"Mamoru-kun." I stopped as Yagyu approached me too, "This was something we shouldn't have pried about, we apologize. But if you ever need someone, all of us are here for you."

I glanced around at my team members, glancing twice at Sanada's blank eyes, "Thank you, minna-san."

"Kirigaya, a word."

Everyone stopped at the door, looking back towards Sanada who had stopped in the middle of the locker room. I glanced towards Yukimura but he seemed just as puzzled as I as he frowned at his stern face.

I took a breath in and nodded, turning towards Akaya, "You go ahead with Jackal-senpai and Marui-senpai, I'll be right there."

Yanagi gave me a curious look and it wasn't hard to ignore the piercing stares from Yukimura and Niou.

I waved the rest of the regulars farewell before sitting on the bench, facing the vice captain, "What is it fuku-buchou?"

"Your leg." he stated calmly.

I nodded and looked at my leg, "I've been on ibuprofen and I have the leg wrapped up for support, I should be fine."

The silence in the club room seemed deafening as Sanada said nothing else.

"Fuku-buchou, if that's all, I have to go meet up with Akaya-"

"Deaths." he cut me off, "You said deaths, as in plural."

I looked down at the floor, unable to meet his eyes, "...My mother of this world… she," I paused and took a deep breath, "She died giving birth to me." I mustered out, "I've been told that my father hasn't been the same since."

Sanada remained silent in front of me, but I could feel the silent urging. He was asking why would I care for someone I didn't even know.

I grit my teeth and put my head into my hands, "There was a war, like I said, in my world. They recruited young and old to get soldiers in numbers for battles and ambushes." I swallowed loudly, "I...I have killed so many with these hands fuku-buchou." I revealed, my voice ringing in the closed off room, "And the one thing I was happy about when I was dying, was that I would no longer have any blood staining these hands," my voice was trembling now, "And I remember as I came into this world, she, my mother, held me close to herself in her dying arms and it was so warm!" I could tell I was losing it, my voice was loud and trembling, and I could feel tears rolling down my cheeks, "And as soon as I thought that I would be free from the sin of killing, I had killed the first thing that wanted to protect me in this world!" I sucked a deep breath in and my voice grew quiet, "Sometimes… I can't help but wonder that she died just because I was reborn into this world." I revealed in a pitiful voice.

The silence returned as I composed myself, rubbing the tears off my face. I coughed into my fist, "Sorry," I immediately apologized, "I didn't intend to go that far."

I couldn't look Sanada in the eye, because what was I thinking? Japan was at peace, he had never experienced war, death, murder, and cold blooded killing. Even if he was physically older than me now, my brain was years ahead of him. Throwing my problems onto a child? Unacceptable.

I bowed my head at him, "Forget everything I said to you, Sanada," I said without honorifics or formalities. I suddenly felt older, like the whole weight of the world was on me, "It's not something I should bother you with. It won't happen again."

Sanada hadn't moved from his spot. I glanced at his face and saw the horror that had stricken him.

My heart sank and I turned, "I'm sorry," I whispered into the small room before leaving.

To kill is to take the life of another.