Just a few words before I begin. First of all, thanks to kimchi-tan and Deathclaw2010 for their reviews. Thanks for all of the faves and follows as well!

Second of all, please note this story's rating. M, my first Sonic M-rated piece. I will definitely be dealing with mature themes, and this story will not be for those that are squeamish and/or don't enjoy certain mature topics, including those of a disturbing nature. I won't make a list for spoiler reasons, but I just want to give a warning to back out now if you don't want to read about potential unpleasant topics.

This story is intense. I wrote it all in less than a week, and it was difficult for me. I felt like I was smearing my heart on the page in some parts. I've felt like I haven't felt in a long time. That all being said, I hope you stick around. Because this story may be the most personal thing I've ever written; and I know when I write like this, I'm at my best. This is the story I've always wanted to write, and now I'm finally at a mental place where I can. And I did.

Please enjoy.

Chapter 2: Stop

SONIC

Somehow, I managed to control my legs enough to set Amy down for a split second and not hurt her from the whiplash, but the effort had been too much and I had to take off immediately afterwards. Not from fear, no. I mean, I don't like doctor's offices, but I fully planned on going and seeing Dr. Ellie. It was part of the reason I'd come back, to meet with him and get closure - seeing Amy and picking her up, that had been a whim. I knew I couldn't live like this anymore. I'd thought about suicide, about just letting myself run head-on into a train, and that's when I knew I had a problem. I didn't want to die, but my own thoughts tested my resolve more and more each day.

But who could I tell? I'd abandoned my friends long ago for stupid reasons. I had no one left that I could trust, or that I cared about, that I hadn't destroyed my relationship with. I'd done nothing but made dumb decisions since I was a teenager. Was this the world's way of punishing me for that?

My mind was wandering again. I zipped back into the doctor's office, and attempted a slow jog in circles to try and participate in the conversation. Unfortunately, my slow jogs nowadays are quite destructive, and I could see the debris my speed was causing, with paperwork and small objects getting sucked into the small tornado I created. I sighed and headed out the door again, just doing laps around the building.

As I made my way through the street I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Shock, horror, disbelief. Yes, world, I was back. I was a freak, okay, you can stop staring now. I just wanted to get some help. This is why I didn't come back sooner, and why I'd always avoided any place that could possibly have other people. I didn't want to be sighted, I didn't want the press following me, I didn't want to be the hero anymore. I didn't want to be what everyone thought I was. I couldn't be the ideal they pictured me as... I wasn't allowed to be weak or show emotion or that I was hurting. These people had no idea what I'd been through, and couldn't possibly understand. No one wanted to see their hero fade from glory - it was why I was okay with simply letting everyone remember me for who I was, rather than learn who I'd become. Why come back and ruin my former image? Hell, I couldn't even be normal enough to see a doctor...

Each lap I peeked in the window, watching Amy trying to explain, well, me, to the receptionist, and I managed a half smile. Amy Rose - what an incredible girl. I'd often thought about her with bittersweet memories, feeling nothing but regret and guilt about all that I'd done. In another world I would be with her, we'd be happy, and I'd be everything she thought I was. I shouldn't have doubted for a moment that the girl would accept me as I was, and try to help me. About this particular problem, of course. No way could she understand the other thing. I gulped. Dr. Ellie! He knew. Or at least he had some information on it - and I didn't even know myself. Amy was talking to him now. I had to get to him before she did -

I entered the building with a rush, and begged, pleaded my legs to stop for once, but they refused. My powerful lower limbs definitely had a mind of their own, and were rebelling against my control. I turned on a dime, narrowly missing a door, and managed to find Dr. Ellie. I heard him say my name, but I knew he couldn't hear me, so I didn't bother talking. I was stuck in this bubble and couldn't have any meaningful contact... Amy was the first person I'd talked to in... so long... It felt so nice to hold her, feel her hold me, see her forgive me, which I definitely didn't deserve...

CRASH

I'd gotten distracted. I looked behind and cursed myself as I realized I'd crashed a huge hole through the wall of the building. What was I gonna do? This had been a mistake - I couldn't get help. I had to leave before anyone, before Amy, found out the truth about me.

No, no. I was done running from this, I just wanted to stop. I wanted to rest. I wanted to chop my fucking legs off, I'd be okay never walking again, just let me stop, please - just let me die - what would happen if I just jumped in front a train and let it take my pain away -

I had to see Amy again. She was the only one who could talk me out of this.

"Sonic." Her voice. I could hear her, my ears were tuned to pick her out of the chaos, but I didn't risk picking her up again and not being able to drop her.

"We have - " She got cut off, and I did my best to slow down and do more laps, picking up more information each time.

"To give - " Lap. "You a -" Lap. "Sedative - " Lap. "So you - " Lap. "Can stop."

A sedative? I wasn't sure I liked that idea. I didn't have a choice though. If a sedative is what I needed to stop this madness, I'd take it. I wanted to live.

As I headed back inside, I saw the syringe on the table. I zoomed by and picked it up, noticing there was a note on it, indicating I should insert the needle directly into one of my legs. That would be easy enough, right? They were just moving at ridiculous speeds that only I could follow. No sweat.

I'd never liked needles, but this may be my only shot to be normal again. Heh, see what I did there... ugh. Here it goes - I held the pointy end near my legs, and took a moment to figure out their speed. I matched the same rhythm with my arms, counting in my head, until I was sure they lined up, and then - bam. I felt no more than a slight prick as I poked my leg with the medicine.

The effects were gradual, and I tried to recalibrate my brain as my legs slowed down, and the world became less blurry around me. Slowly, slowly, my legs came to a stop, and I let out a sigh of relief as I gained my bearings. I was in the doctor's office waiting room, everyone's eyes on me.

"Hi," I said, and then the next thing I knew I had a mouthful of carpet.

OOF. I tried to stand up, but I couldn't move my legs. I tried lifting myself with my arms, but I could only do a partial pushup, my lower half refusing to budge. I could hear some noise in the background, but everything was moving excruciatingly slowly. People's voices… laughter?

Amy was next to me, her strong arms around my chest and shoulders, attempting to lift me up. But I found myself collapsing to the floor again, as Amy had dropped me, and was suddenly giggling up a storm. I decided not to embarrass myself by trying to move and instead just glared at her.

"Hilarious, isn't it?"

"Sorry Sonic," she said, sniffling and pressing her lips together. "It's just, you said hi, and then just - hahahahaha! You, haha, collapsed to the floor. You didn't even try to catch yourself, you were just like, plop."

I blinked, trying to register what she was saying, but it was like she was talking and moving in slow motion. There was a delay between each syllable, and my mind was anticipating what she was about to say, but it didn't translate in my mind until a few seconds later.

"It seems the tranquilizer has slowed down his reflexes," Dr. Ellie said, but it sounded like he was under water. "Sonic has unusually high reaction times. Literally off the charts. But this is the strongest sedative we have. I'm relieved that it worked, and didn't knock him out."

"Yeah, yeah, will you get me up?" I grumbled from the floor, regretting coming here after all. I'd just gone from one problem to the exact opposite.

Amy nodded and then attempted to lift me once more, still chuckling under her breath.

"Gah you're heavy," she complained, and half carried/half dragged me into the exam room, Dr. Ellie right behind her.

"I can't feel my legs," I grunted, looking down at the limp limbs. The world felt like it was spinning around me,and my mind was dizzy. I blinked, trying to center myself and be in the moment. Everything was so slow and calm around me, but my mind was still going 1800 mph. Not enough stimuli and too many processes in my anxious mind, I couldn't use my surroundings to distract my erratic train of thoughts. In just a few seconds I'd already memorized every detail but at the same time it was all buzzing with movement. It felt like half of me was beyond calm, and the other half was panicked.

"Well Sonic. Nice of you to finally come back. You had an appointment several months ago," Dr. Ellie said, scowling at me over his clipboard. Amy helped me climb onto the exam bed and then sat down beside me, putting her hand on my leg, and then taking my hand. I didn't deserve her.

"Yeah, well, I would have been here sooner, but I've had trouble getting my legs to cooperate." I rubbed my temples.

"I see your condition has gotten worse."

"Worse?" Amy butted in, glaring at me. "How long has he been like this?"

Instant regret at bringing her here. I didn't want to have this conversation. "It didn't start out like this," I said. "It's gotten worse over the years."

"Let's see," Dr. Ellie flipped through some paperwork. "I last saw you, let's see. Oh. 10 months ago. Back then you were saying the restless bouts were coming nearly everyday. You first saw me for this issue about 3 years ago. Now it seems that you can't stop at all."

Amy let go of my hand. "You were seeing a doctor this whole time? In our hometown? For years, Sonic? Really?" Amy said, her hands on her hips. I gulped. Did she still have her hammer? Of course. I hadn't seen it yet, but I would be a dumbass if I didn't think she still had it.

I attempted a weak smile, but I was still dizzy, so it likely came out as a grimace. "Guess I've lost track of time. When you move faster than anybody else, you kinda think more time is passing. The past few, years, whatever, has just been consumed with this."

Amy looked so disappointed, but I turned to Dr. Ellie, who spoke. "Well, good news for you is that in all this time, I've developed a theory of what could be wrong. But, before we get to that, I will ask you once again. I see you've brought a lady with you, so, do you want me to discuss those old test results - "

Oh god no. Nope. Nope.

"Never."

I could feel Amy's gaze boring into my soul. "Sonic."

I tried to adjust my legs but remembered I couldn't move or feel them. "Take those results and toss them in the trash. I don't want to know."

Dr. Ellie nodded. "As you wish, Sonic. Either way, I don't believe that's related to your current affliction - "

"Sonic, what test results? What does he mean?" Amy pestered, and I avoided her eye contact. My guilt was overwhelming and looking at her would only make it worse. I felt lower than dirt, a piece of shit. I was a failure. I'd had everything and threw it away for absolutely no reason. There would be no redemption for me.

"Nothing. Drop it. It doesn't matter."

She touched my hand, but I pulled away.

"Please tell me..."

"No." I turned to the doc. "So what's your theory."

"It may sound counter intuitive, but I believe what's made the issue worse is that you're fighting it so much. Your legs are rebelling against your mind. Before all this happened, Sonic, what was the longest time you've ever ran at top speed without stopping? What's your high score, your record?"

I didn't even hesitate. "Nine hours."

"And?"

"Nine hours. Four minutes. Seven seconds."

Dr. Ellie nodded, and held the clipboard to his chest. "I see. Well, here's what I suggest. You embrace this affliction. Use it. And break your old record. Once you do, you should finally be able to rest."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Did science change while I was gone?"

"Your snark is not injured, I see. I'm not a psychologist, but since you've always refused to see one, I took the liberty of consulting with one myself. She fully believes this is a mental thing. You've always been a daredevil, wanting to push yourself to your greatest limit. It's been a while since you broke that record. That's what your body is aching to do; it was made to push itself further and further. You can think of it as symbolic - you feel like you're losing yourself, so you have to get that back. Be better than your old self, be able to still be you, but better."

"Doesn't make sense." I shook my head, but instantly regretted it from the sudden shock of pain rushing through my skull. I winced. "I've been running, non stop, for however long, I don't even know. Surely I've broke my record by now."

He tilted his head at me. "But you've been fighting it, haven't you? You've been trying to stop. Not trying to break the record. I suggest that's what you do. Have a specific goal in mind, tell your legs they can rest when you hit 9 hours, 4 minutes, 8 seconds. That is something the old you would do."

It made some sorta sense, but I didn't know. "You really think that's what this is?"

"Yes, I do. I believe it's worth a try. And if that doesn't work, well, we start exploring other options, and go to Plan B."

I was almost afraid to ask. "Which is?"

He looked down at his table, and motioned to the empty syringe. "I can give you a prescription for this sedative. And you could use it when you need to. The side effects may be severe, though, and there's a good chance if you keep taking this, you could end up permanently paralyzed from the waist down."

I smirked. "Gee, that wouldn't be so bad."

Amy elbowed me in the ribs. Hard.

"Ow! Hey, I can still feel those."

She smiled sweetly at me. "Like he said, it's worth a try, Sonic. What are nine more hours when you've been like this for a long time? I have a watch. You can borrow it, because I know you don't have one."

I eyed the bright pink accessory on her wrist. It was a thoughtful gesture, and I had to smile at how sweet she still was after all these years. Was I really about to do this? Give myself a few more hours alone with my thoughts? I shuddered at the thought.

"Thanks, Amy. But I think, if I'm gonna do this, I want to take more than just your watch."

"Hm?"

I adjusted myself the best I could, and reached for her hand. She met me halfway. "I wanna take you with me."

She blinked three times, slowly. "You want me to sit in your arms while you run at dizzying speeds for more than nine hours? Sonic, I can't."

"Ames, I need you to be there. Please."

"But, Sonic. I can't. I have a job! And I have to eat! And use the bathroom! And it's so impractical. You know I care about you, but I can't do this."

"Amy... I don't trust myself alone with my mind anymore. I've had some dark thoughts, thoughts that scared me. You may be the only one who can talk me out of - " I looked away and spoke softly. "Killing myself."

"Sonic, you're, you're suicidal?"

"I don't wanna die. But I can't do this alone anymore. Maybe that's why my feet carried me all the way back here. Back to you. Because…. Cuz you might be the only one who can save me."

Ehh, maybe that was a bit over the top? I cursed myself at the overdramatic language. But Amy was into that sorta thing, right? Was she still romantic, did she still daydream about being with a hero? Shit - I didn't even know her anymore. I had changed, and she probably had, too. I waited for her response eagerly, my impatience rearing its ugly head.

She finally spoke, and my heart fell at her indignant tone and body language.

"No, Sonic. No. And you wanna know why?" She pointed her finger right at my face. "You left us. No calls, no notice, no nothing. You abandoned all of us. For years. And I waited for you. For years. We all worried, we all had no idea where you were, we looked for you forever. I missed you so much, Sonic! All I wanted was just a glimpse of you again. You broke my heart, you never told me how you felt. I spent so much time pining over you, waiting for you, telling myself it didn't matter that I would be with you no matter how long it took. It was hard, Sonic. So hard…. But I finally realized you had abandoned us, and I had to move on. I did - somehow. Or at least I thought I did. I finally got to the point where I could see other guys, and I was over you, and not thinking about you constantly, and I'm better, and I have a job. And then you waltz back in here and kidnap me and assume that I'll love you again.

"And now I come to find out you've actually been around, seeing doctors, you won't tell me all of what's wrong with you, you won't tell me where you've been, and you won't even go visit Tails, your best friend in the world. Now you want me to drop everything, to put my life on hold for you again? It's not happening. You've broke my heart enough, Sonic. I have to be strong here. I said I would help you get to a doctor, but I'm not doing this. This is where I draw the line."

Every word cut me like a blade, sinking the guilt and pain more and more into the open wound. She was right. I'd been too greedy in asking this of her. I couldn't expect to come back and have everything between us be exactly the same. Amy was older now - only a few years younger than me. She was an adult, not 12 or 13 like I remembered her. She was mature and strong and lovely and everything I didn't deserve to have. She'd done more than enough for me.

My ears drooped. So that was it then? I was gonna do this on my own? There was a time I could have had Amy any time I wanted, but that time was obviously up. I couldn't take her for granted anymore. If I wanted her at all, and I guess I did in some way, I'd have to win her back over. And there was only one place to start.

"I understand, but what if... I told you all that. Everything I've left out, why I left, what I've been up to - all that."

She crossed her arms. "I'm listening."

"No, I mean, during the run. We'll have nine hours together, and, I'm not sure if that can make up for years of neglect, but, I can try."

"No, Sonic. I have to be strong. I can't let you keep doing this to me..." she trailed off, and I thought for sure she was going to cry. This was hard for her, too.

"Amy," I reached for her, but she didn't meet me halfway this time. "I'm offering to make it up to you. I'm offering you closure. I can answer all your questions, every single one, I promise."

"Why can't you just tell me after?"

"Because, I don't know if I'll have the guts to do it then. If this heals me, then what if I go back to who I was? What then? I'm offering it to you now. You don't have to wait anymore."

She shook her head. "Always on your terms. What about what I want, huh?"

"What do you want? Me to just go away, like I did before? You wanna get rid of me again?"

"I want you to get better. But I can't commit to this, Sonic, it's too much. I know how you are. I'll come with you today, and then tomorrow you'll be better and leave me alone again. I can't let you break my heart over and over again anymore. I'm past that.."

"I want to explain all of that to you. I promise I will. I'm asking for nine more hours to make this right with you. I want that."

Amy sighed heavily. "Okay. As a sign of good faith, why don't you start by telling me what those test results were about?"

My heart stopped. Of course, she starts with that one. "That's, uhh, a long story, you kinda have to know what happened before that…"

She threw up her hands. "Of course! You can't give me a straight answer! Just so typical Sonic! I'm done with you!" She stood up and headed for the door.

No, no, no, I couldn't let her get away! But damn my cursed legs not working. "Hey, I'm sorry! Okay? I'm an idiot. But I wanna make this up to you - "

Just as Amy opened the door to leave, a ton of noise and commotion came from the other side. Amy jumped back, and one of the staff members quickly entered in and shut the door behind her.

"Dr. Ellie, I hate to interrupt, but - " the nurse assistant looked at me. "The media is outside. They know Sonic is here, and they want to talk to him and get video of him. There's so many of them, they're pounding on the door. I called the police, but they just want to see Sonic, too. They're not going to wait much longer. They said Sonic being back is not just national news, it's an emergency."

"Fuck!" I swore out loud. There was no way I was letting anybody see me like this. I didn't want videos going viral. I didn't want my return to be me in my pathetic current state. I had to get better before the world saw me again. As I said, I'd rather everyone falsely remember who I was than get to know the new me. Otherwise -

"Doc, how long until this wears off?" I gestured to my legs.

He walked to a cabinet and pulled out another syringe. "A shot of adrenaline should get your reflexes going again. If you're ready to try to beat your record, I can give it to you now."

Good. I turned to Amy, who was staring at me with a conflicted expression. "Tell me you'll come with me."

She stood right in front of me, and I could see the pain on her face, the unshed tears. "Sonic, I..."

I put my hands on her shoulders and gave her my best smile. "Cuz I don't wanna hafta kidnap you. Again."

Her lips were suddenly on mine, but only for a quick second. My breath was stolen, and I wish she wouldn't have pulled away so fast. Her hand stroked my quills, sending shivers down my spine.

"Let's go."

I nodded at Dr. Ellie, and winced in preparation for the sting of the needle. The drug pumped into my system, and my heart rate quadrupled in only a few seconds. My legs were revving up, ready to go, and Amy crawled into my lap. I held her close to me, wanting to make her as comfy as possible before I sped out of the office at top speed.

The clock had been started.