Thanks to Exclusive04, NeckBreak, Guest (kimchi-tan), Mewmew, Deathclaw2010, IT'S NO USE I'M OUTTA USE, Amefloza13, kimchi-tan, YGquan! All your reviews seriously made my day! You guys are truly awesome, and I'm so happy you're already hooked on this story. As I said earlier, it means a lot to me personally and it's super intense. This chapter in particular was difficult and super emotional to write, and so be prepared. You might wanna be sitting down as you read...

Chapter 3: Candy

SONIC

"So where do I start?"

I began as we settled into a rhythm, racing across the world at near my top speed. Now that I ran with purpose, with a goal, I definitely felt much better. I still felt like shit, but at least I was trying something new. I had hope now, my head was clearing, my heart was settling down. And I had Amy with me, who cared about me more than I deserved. I could feel some of my confidence come back - Amy had always had that effect on me, of making me feel like a true hero that could do anything. I'd always tried to live up to her expectations of me - and perhaps that's why I'd felt lost for so long without her. All that Dr. Ellie said was making sense now. This was going to work. I knew it was.

"Oh gee, I don't know. How about why you left us for several years and didn't make any sort of contact while we were all desperately searching for you?"

Her words brought me back to reality. Right. I'd still have to relive the past few years of my life, telling her everything. All my pain, all my regrets, all my dumb decisions. Would she still love me then, when she realized I wasn't who she thought I was anymore? I gulped and looked down at Amy. She sat nestled in my arms, looking adorable as ever, but her arms were folded and she had an annoyed expression. And we'd only just begun.

"You're already cranky, huh?"

"No. I already have to pee."

"Are you on your period, too?"

Her hammer instantly appeared, and I almost tripped and fell flat on my face. Considering I still couldn't stop my legs, that would be quite unfortunate. Damn, it was bigger than I remembered.

"Okay, okay, sorry. It was just a joke," sweat was forming on my brow, and I could feel Amy's anger emanating off her figure.

"I hate you," she muttered through gritted teeth, and holstered her mallet.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Yeah, but you love me too. That's why you agreed to come."

"Don't make me change my mind, Sonic. You're lucky I'm a fool for you."

"Yeah - look, I don't want to take advantage of you, kay? I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If at any time you want to stop, you want to slow down, you want to get off Mr. Sonic's crazy ride, just tell me. And we will. I'll let you go. I promise, Ames."

I could see her expression soften, but then she gave me a flirty smile. "Gee, you move pretty fast, mister. We just met and you already wanna have sex?"

The blood in my veins froze into ice, and my lungs emptied, leaving me breathless. Fresh tears appeared in my eyes and the world grew even more blurry around me. I sniffed, and turned my head so the wind dried my eyes.

She didn't know. There was no way she could. She had no idea she'd just struck a nerve, hit me at my weakest point. I was so glad that my legs were moving on their own because I would have just come to a complete stop as every conscious process in my body came to a halt. She was staring at me, obviously confused at my reaction. I couldn't look at her.

"I'm gonna let you get off so you can use the the bathroom," was all I said. "Get ready to jump in a second because I'm not gonna stop, cuz I can't. Just call out to me when you're ready."

"Okay."

I let her slip out of my arms, and I looked behind me to see Amy's figure getting smaller and smaller until she was just a pretty pink pixel in my past. I should have known. This wasn't going to work. Amy was just the same as all the other girls. She would expect the same from me, if not so much more… she had so many fantasies about me…

The thought made me sick. I was going to puke. I could feel the bile rising in my stomach now as the anxiety, the fear kicked in. Bringing her had been a mistake, she didn't even want to come, how could she understand what happened to me? And if she couldn't, how could anyone else?

Stop panicking, Sonic. Just stop it. Stop beating yourself up. It wasn't your fault.

Wasn't it though? I made those choices. I did those things. I don't deserve anything good, especially not Amy.

She's not just like other girls, that's why you've held her at arm's length for so long. You always have to put your best self forward for her. You're brave for even attempting to tell her.

I'm a coward. I hid for years. I should just run away now that she's gone. I can do this myself. And if it doesn't work, I'll kill myself because that's all I can do.

No. You have a purpose, a will to live! There's so much you wanna do! Maybe you've made some mistakes, but today is the first day of the rest of your life, and you can change! You're making steps! Just don't stop, don't abandon her, don't abandon yourself.

She loves you, Sonic. And you love her.

That wasn't enough before. And it'll never be if I can't love her as she wants, as she deserves, as she should be loved - I'm not wired like that. I can't make her put up with me. I'm damaged goods and she should have the world, I've already broken her heart. I should just get out of her life. I won't be happy either way, but at least she will be.

Without me.

Wake up! You're Sonic the Hedgehog! Everyone adores you, and missed you, and the world wants you alive and well.

No. The world was better off when they thought I was dead.

The voices in my head, arguing with myself - this is just what I'd been afraid of. Why I couldn't do this alone. I couldn't. Only a few minutes in and my mind was unraveling. This is why I needed Amy.

"Sonic…."

I heard her voice in the wind, and turned back to pick her up again. As she appeared in my vision, my heart ached with pain. I could never have her. In one swift motion, I turned in a small circle to sweep Amy in my arms again, and kept on running. She quietly settled into my arms as we began a few moments of awkward silence.

She spoke, her voice soft. "Sonic, I'm sorry, I thought we were flirting and having banter. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know."

Her hand stroked my cheek. I enjoyed it too much. I had to while I still could, there was no way she'd stay here once I told my story. But I was done waiting. I had to get it all of my chest. It'd been there too long.

I spoke with a steady, but neutral tone. "The reason I left, Ames… I was out on an adventure, running around, just doing what I do. I didn't leave for any particular reason, just kinda left for myself. Did want I wanted to do. You know how I was. But this time, I met a girl."

She nodded, signaling for me to continue. She was taking this okay, so far.

"Her name - " I choked. "Her name was Candy. She was the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen, and she wouldn't go out with me no matter how much I begged. She was a bit older than me, an adult at the time, but I was smitten. And then one day…" I stopped, my mind protesting the recall of the memories. "She caught up with me, and she came on so strong, I… I… lost my virginity to her."

"Okay."

She was taking this way too well, even though her voice sounded cautious.

"But I didn't want to." I admitted, choking the words out, but once they started, they wouldn't stop. "I didn't want to have sex with her. Why I didn't want to, I don't know. The whole thing was weird. I thought I wanted her and at the time it seemed a good idea, and I was dumb enough to just go with my impulses, but I didn't want it. At all. I hated it. I hated myself. But that's not even the worst thing." I swallowed, immediately feeling nauseous again. "She blackmailed me. She had a video of the whole thing, and said I couldn't go back home, back to you, and Tails, and everyone, or she'd let the whole world know. She kept me captive, and wouldn't let me leave. she…"

I drifted off, unable to look at Amy, but in the corner of my eye I could see her horrified expression.

"Sorry, Amy, this is just so hard."

"No, don't apologize. Take your time," she all but whispered, raising her hand to caress my face again. I took a few moments just to breathe, my mind resisting the memories once again. I was going to be sick, I was going to throw up, I was going to die, I was going to run into something and kill myself and Amy too….

"Sonic, it's okay. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

But I knew she would. She would leave me. For the longest I was okay knowing she was living happily without me, but now she knew. She knew, and it was over. The only girl that truly knew me, truly loved me, was disgusted at what I'd done, what I'd let happen to me.

My breathing returned to normal, and I pushed away the terrified half of me that resisted this conversation. I needed to finish.

"She was abusive. She was dominating. She hurt me, Amy. She beat me. And I don't know why I let it happen. I was… I was me. I was Sonic. And this girl, she broke me. I could have fought her off, I could have killed her even, I could have just left her and run away, but I didn't. I stayed and let it happen, and she convinced me that I liked it, that I was naturally submissive and wanted a girl to dominate me. She convinced me that I'd never been happier in my life, and I didn't want to leave her. And I thought this was just how sex was, how pleasure just had to be tinted with pain. She talked about you even... she had control over everything I did, and I slowly lost my confidence and abilities to be the hero I always was…"

I wiped away a few tears that I didn't even know had squeezed out of my eyes. I could feel Amy's hands on my cheeks again, brushing away the moisture.

"Sonic, I'm so sorry. I had no idea..."

"And the worst thing is, the whole time, Amy, the whole time, in the back of my head I knew I should leave, I knew I was miserable, I knew I wanted to come home, but I couldn't. I told myself I was Sonic the Hedgehog, and I could do anything, nothing could get me down, no one could control me or tell me what to do, but she twisted those thoughts and told me the hedgehog I'd become was the real me. I was only 15. She messed me up, Amy. She messed me up real bad."

"I'm so sorry…"

I shook my head. "Don't apologize for that bitch. It's not your fault."

"Sonic, it's not your fault either."

All I could do was shake my head. "Isn't it, though?"

"No. She manipulated you. She abused you, Sonic. You said she was an adult, and you were only 15. This is serious… none of this is your fault."

I was tired of thinking this, but I really didn't deserve Amy.

"That's not how I saw it. That's not how everyone else will see it. Why did I not just run away and leave her! Why did I let her hurt me? Huh? I can hear them ask me now. But I don't know, okay? I don't know. I thought that's how sex was supposed to be. If I don't understand, how can they understand? I'm a guy - guys aren't supposed to be weak, or not want to have sex all the time. Guys can't be taken advantage of. Guys can't possibly want to say no, but I did, over and over and she still did all that to me. Okay? I didn't want any of it, but I should have, right? I'm one of the most powerful beings on this planet and I let myself lose to a weakling, because of sex. I was 15 when I met her. 15, Amy. A kid, basically. I didn't know better, but I feel I should have. It's my fault."

Amy spoke with gentleness. "Sonic, I can't say this enough: this is not your fault. Okay? Not your fault, at all. Just because you're strong doesn't mean you can't be hurt like this. No one who hears this story will ever blame you for a second for what happened. And if they do - why does what they think matter? Since when did you care so much about what others think of you? You just do your own thing, right? The haters be damned."

"That was the old me. The better me. The me you knew." I paused, painfully speaking the next few words. "The me you loved."

Amy shook her head and held onto me even closer. "Sonic, I think… I think I've shown you that I love you no matter what by now. Believe me when I say this doesn't change my feelings for you at all. In fact, it makes me love you more, because I know you went through something impossibly horrific, and you're still here. I just wish I knew at the time. And I could have helped you. So don't think I don't love you. Because I do. And…" she suddenly scowled. "I'm gonna kill this girl. No one hurts my Sonic."

I wanted to smile but couldn't. "I don't even know where she is now. I don't wanna know."

"How could she do this to you. She's so dead…" Amy fumed for a moment, and I let her, taking the pause in conversation to recompose myself. The worst was over. I said it. I did it. A weight was lifted from my soul, as I shared my story for the first time. I felt better, but I was still shaking from all the feelings. I was emotionally drained.

But the story wasn't over yet.

"So, you finally got away from her?" Amy prompted me to continue.

"Yeah. It sounds weird, but I just woke up one day and had enough. I knew where she kept the videos of us having sex. I destroyed every single one and left. Just straight up ran away. And never looked back. I was with her for three, four years, and when I left I had nowhere to go, nowhere to run. Who even was I anymore? It's when I suddenly realized I was an adult. But where could I go? I was not strong enough to come back to you guys, as much as I knew you all must miss me terribly. I had to fix myself before I came crawling back. I felt like absolute garbage and needed to find myself again.

"So I did what the old me always did. I traveled far away, on the other side of the world. Hoping I wouldn't be recognized of course, but some people did."

"Wait a minute…" Amy nodded. "I remember there were so many 'Sonic sightings' on the news...and I hated them because they kept my hopes up. They were later proved to be a hoax, but - they were real?"

"Yeah, guess so. Anyway, I looked for a place where I could just start over and be me again. I was still super messed up in the head. It seemed like I was questioning everything, the things I used to love, I couldn't really enjoy anymore. I mean, running. New experiences. Adventuring. None of that stuff excited me anymore. Nothing seemed to. I wasn't me anymore. I wasn't sure I was anybody."

Amy rubbed my arms, smiling at me softly but sadly.

"And as much as that concerned me, I realized something even worse. Uh, Ames, I'm not even sure how to tell you this because I'm still confused about it all myself."

"I'm listening Sonic. Just do your best."

"Amy, I'd never really… uh, how do I.. uhm. Hm." I tried to organize my thoughts. "I've never really… wanted to have sex. I know, I know. It sounds crazy. But for the longest time, I'd think about sex and wonder what the big deal was. Tails and Knuckles would talk to me about girls, about how hot and sexy they were, and I just didn't… see it? I didn't get it."

"What do you mean? Are you saying you like… guys…?" I could see the fear in her eyes. "I mean, that's okay if you do, but - It's not exactly good news for me."

"No, no. Listen, uh. Oh boy, well," I stuttered out my words. No matter how much I'd pictured this conversation in my head, it wasn't any easier. "Just like I said… I didn't get the whole sex thing, in any way, shape, form, fashion. You know I like thrills, new things, but sex was just never on my radar of something I wanted to try. I never saw a girl and just wanted her like that. That's uh, part of the reason I ran from you. Because I… didn't see you in that way. The way Tails and Knux talked about girls. I thought there was somethin' different about me. Now, now, before you say anything… I had feelings for you. I knew that I did. I had a crush on you, badly. But I never thought about being with you, ya know, intimately…." I trailed off, embarrassed and already ready to be done with this icky conversation. "But you obviously did, and I had no idea what it all meant, I was confused, so I ran away from you. I ran away because I didn't know how to reconcile in my mind how I felt, and how you felt - how the rest of the world seemed to feel about romance. It all just made me so uncomfortable. So I ran."

Amy sat up straight in my arms. "Is this what that bitch did to you?"

"No. Amy, no. This was me, before I even met her. I never really found anyone attractive, or sexy. Not girls, definitely not dudes. Even though I liked girls, I didn't think I liked them like that. But I do have to say, one good thing that bitch did for me, is made me realize that I wasn't interested in, that stuff, in any way, form, fashion."

"I don't understand, Sonic. What she did to you, that's not love at all. That's not how sex is supposed to be. I know you didn't know it back then, but how can you say all this with certainty now? When you've never tried it otherwise…?"

I knew what she was getting at, but it still disturbed me.

"But I have, Amy. After I left Candy, I tried other girls. Lots of them, Ames. Like, so many. There were a few times when pretty much all I was doing was trying to get laid, and, well. I'm not proud of that. But none of them could seem to cure me. I knew I was attracted to girls in some way, but not… in this weird sexy way that everyone else was. No matter who I tried, or what I tried, I just couldn't get into it. I realized that I must be gay. Because that was the only other option, right? In fact, I hoped that's all this was, so I could feel normal again. So, I tried guys too."

I waited for her reaction, but she just stared at me with a blank expression.

"It was much worse. I only tried two before I realized that wasn't me either. I wasn't gay, but I wasn't straight either. I was nothing. I was empty, and felt broken. It was even worse when I heard about myself from the media, and about how I was some sort of teenage sex symbol. I didn't want that, I didn't even know what it meant. I felt so… alienated from what everyone saw me as. I felt like I couldn't be me anymore - hell, who even was 'me'? I wasn't a hero, I wasn't a sex symbol, I wasn't even interested anymore in what made me famous, my speed. I was nothing. I felt… fake." I shuddered at the word.

Silence passed between us as Amy absorbed what I was saying. I waited with eagerness to hear her response, but she didn't say anything at first. Every time she moved just a little, I immediately focused on her, dying to hear what she was thinking. This was it, this is what I was afraid to say. I was afraid to tell the girl I loved that I didn't love her like she did.

"Sonic, for the longest I knew you didn't find me attractive, that was obvious, but I just don't understand how you could still like me." She finally spoke.

"Amy I've messed up a lot of things, but I don't want to mess up this. I need to tell you that I still care about you immensely, I respect you, and - dare I say it, I love you, Amy. I've made a ton of mistakes, but I want you to know that… I've been on a journey of self discovery and I'm still figuring stuff out."

She still wasn't saying much, and it was killing me. There was a reason I didn't share this much all the time - never, really. I was only doing this because I knew I'd held it in too long. And I felt I owed it to Amy to share. And looking into her eyes, I knew that at the end of this, if she decided she didn't want me in her life anymore, I'd understand and leave her forever. If that's what she wanted.

"So what happened next?"

I sighed. She wasn't giving me much. "Well, long story short, I felt so broken I knew I had to do something. My experimenting just left me confused. For a while I thought that I was getting all my sexual energy out by running, so I quit that for a few days and then tried to sleep with a girl with that pent up energy - but it was no different, I was just more frustrated with myself. I had a girl tell me that I should get my hormones checked, so that's what I did. I went back home, swore Dr. Ellie to secrecy, cuz he's the only doctor who knows about my powers and body and stuff, and asked him to check my testosterone levels."

Her eyes lit up. "That was the test results he was talking about?"

"Yeah. Now you see why I wanted to wait to tell you?"

"It makes some sense, yeah."

I waited for Amy to say more, and she finally did.

"I'm sorry, Sonic, I'm just, taking all this in. It's a lot. I don't know what to say. You've been through so much, and, I'm sorry I couldn't have been there for you. I can't say I really understand but I'm here for you now, no matter what."

I looked down at her, feeling so vulnerable. I had to know. I had to ask. "Do you still love me?"

The smile that appeared on her face was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, and as she wrapped me in a close, warm hug, my heart melted into a puddle of molten love and care and relief. She accepted me. As I was. I was so worried for so long, but feeling her embrace was just everything.

"Of course, Sonic. I said I'd always love you, and this doesn't change anything." She kissed my cheek. "We'll figure this out, okay?"

"Thank you," I said genuinely. I let myself exhale heavily, feeling so, so much better. I did it. I told her. It was over now. I had one person, the best person in the world, on my side, loving me, supporting me. Life wasn't all that bad. Things were turning around, and I could get through this.

I wanted to reach out and touch her face. "Amy, you're literally the best thing that ever happened to me. Thanks for never giving up."

Her eyes got misty, matching mine. "Sonic, ever since I first saw you I knew our fates were intertwined, and we were meant to be together. I always knew my purpose was to be there for you. And that's what I've always done, and will always do."

After making sure I wasn't about to run off a cliff, I raised my arms, leaned forward, and kissed Amy with passion, relief, care, and love. I was going to do everything in my power to take care of her and to keep her with me. I needed her. I was going to make all of this up to her. I could feel her hands wrapping around my neck, pulling me closer to her to prolong the kiss. Her lips were sweet and tender, so soft, and I didn't want to stop. But I still had a job to do, and I wasn't about to run into a tree. I broke the kiss and let her settle back into my arms.

"So that's pretty much it - after that, this odd thing with my legs started happening. It only got worse and worse like Doc said. I thought about killing myself and that's when I knew all of this had to stop. I wanted the old me back, and when I saw you in the city, well, I've never believed in fate like you do, but it was the right timing for me."

She smiled up at me, still glowing from the kiss. "I'm glad it worked out."

"So, uh, how much more time do we have?"

Amy glanced down at her wrist, and her lips twisted in displeasure. "Still more than 7 hours."

"What?" It felt like an eternity had already passed between us.

"Yeah, I'm surprised too. How do your legs feel?"

I shrugged. "The same."

"Well, did you have anything more to share?"

"No, I'm kinda, shared out. I wanna take a break from talking if you don't mind. Say, enough about me. What about you? Got any juicy details to pass the time?"

I raised my eyebrows at Amy, and her resulting expression was enough to pique my curiosity.