Patrick came over around nine pm to be greeted by a tired yet satisfied sponge, His downstairs floors were cleared of garbage and cigarette butts. There were actual places to sit, and the house smelled of fresh linen Febreze.
Patrick looked around
"Wow…it's been a while since i was in here"
"Ya haha it really has"
They sat around watching tv together. Spongebob was in his regular red chair and Patrick pulled up another just like it. The television was playing some cheesy comedy skit where two men are dressed up as women and imitating them looking at shoes in a window.
"Shoes…"
"Shoes!"
Spongebob was drinking a beer from a can and Patrick was puffing on a joint. Not a word was said between them the entire time unless someone needed to pass something.
"Pass me the chips?"
"Ok"
After a while Spongebob glanced over at his tubby friend. He felt a sense of lost nostalgia when he looked at him. They had been friends ever since grade school and have been through shit and slime together. From avoiding bullies, to first crushes. Jelly fishing to fast cars. Getting each other in trouble to bailing each other out of it. It really was something marvelous how they've kept it going for so many years.
"Patrick"
"Ya?" He kept his eyes on the screen.
"Still like jellyfishing?"
Patrick's attention was caught and swiveled his head quickly towards his porous fiend.
"Did you say…jellyfishing?"
"Yes…actually" spongebob turned to look behind him as if he was trying to remember where his gear was.
"Wanna go now?"
"Jellyfishing?"
Spongebob sighed "Yes pat…"
"But it's sleepy time"
"So?"
Patrick started scratching his head
"Aren't all of the jellies gonna be asleep?"
Spongebob sat and thought for a moment.
"Fuck it, let's do it anyways"
Patrick shrugged while Spongebob went off to find his nets stashed somewhere in one of his closets. He had to pull through piles of shit just to get to them.
"Aha!"
Spongebob yanked out two jellyfish nets and held them in the air. The handles were worn and the net itself not much better, but the two friends in their drunken stupor didn't really fucking care and were up and halfway at the door with nets in tow.
They ran across the street and dashed into the fields under the curtain of stars. They were swinging their nets through the air pretending they are one of their many historical hunts. Patrick was right, hardly any jellyfish were out that night, besides only a select few loners straddling about. The duo, in their mental state, tried running up to one but would cause so much noise that the creature had enough time to scurry off into the vast shadows of the undersea. Spongebob couldn't help but think back to the past in his 20's and teens when even jellyfishing seemed like it was an every weekend thing. Part of him felt like he was happier when he was younger. Part of him blamed ole man nostalgia for probably tricking his brain that the past was better than the present. He seemed to be doing a lot of reminiscing regardless. Either way, Spongebob felt the joy of boyhood course through his veins as he moved around with the fields beneath his feet. Playing with his net kept bringing a sense of peace and happiness. A feeling he hasn't felt very often. It brought a smile to face knowing he can let his mind run blank from the problems in his life and to let the spirit run through him swimmingly.
"Spongebob!"
He stopped in his tracks and turned around.
"Ya?"
Patrick held up the net high above his head. It seemed a small blue jellyfish was caught inside squirming around. Spongebob meandered up to his friend as Patrick held the net down for the sponge to observe. The blue jellyfish grew exhausted and sat still in the net. Spongebob glanced up at his tubby friend.
"It's blue"
"Ya haha we've only seen these a few times before"
"What should we do with it?"
"Milk it?"
Spongebob paused for a second.
"Ya…I didn't bring a jar though"
Patrick held the net up to his face looking at the little jellyfish squirm.
"Well, it's drink from the tap then!" He grimaced
"Patrick what…"
Patrick proceeded to grab a hold of a tentacle and milk it a few times. He held the poor creature over his mouth as he squeezed dollops of sweet blue jelly into his hungry mouth.
Spongebob looked on in disgust, awe, and horror.
Patrick burped as he opened the net and let the violated jellyfish zoom out into the deep sea.
"Patrick…"
"What?"
Spongebob blinked twice before shaking his head.
"Let's go home…"
Sleepiness overwhelmed them both as they made their way back to their respective homes. Spongebob waved his friend off before heading inside. He made his way up the stairs and plopped right onto his bed with clothes and shoes still on.
Gary hopped on the bed and purred a "Mao"
"I love you too, Gary"
—-
Squidward opened his eyes to the sounds of banging on the walls.
Bang. Bang, BANG.
He shut them quickly.
"Must be Johnny having one of his fits again" Squidward muttered tiredly.
Bang. BANG.
"AGHHHHHH!"
BANG. BANG. BANG BANG.
"AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
A rush of footsteps and dangled keys soon followed. Both the screaming and huddled movements bounced off the metallic halls and into the drums of its many inhabitants.
"Fuck it…I'm awake"
Squidward rose from his bed and rubbed his eyes. He heard one final yelp before sudden silence. He watched as the shadows peeking under the door started slinking back to their origin. He turned towards the windows which was curtainless and was guarded by bars on the outside. The view was another parking lot and some city streets. The sun was climbing up over the horizon, leaving a grayish tint in the otherwise light blue sky. Squidward was wearing a robe and non-slip socks and his room only contained a bed and a toilet. There was red crayon writing on the wall to the left of him next to the window frame. It was littered with names, pictures, and obscenities.
'TARA WAZ HERE'
'Suck my dick'
A picture of a veiny penis.
Squidward snorted while rolling over to face the locked metallic gray door.
Knock knock.
"Who is it?!"
A muffled sigh was let out followed by the cracking open of the door. A male blue hued nurse popped in holding a clipboard and wearing forest green scrubs.
"It's me Mr. Tentacles…breakfast is ready in a few…better head down to the cafeteria" He looked down at the clipboard and then back up.
"How are you feeling?"
Squidward placed his feet on the floor and used his hands to push himself up to stand. He stretched.
"Ughh I'm good I'm good…did Johnny get drugged up and strapped to the bed again?"
The nurse rolled his eyes and smirked.
"I'm not allowed to disclose sensitive information, Mr. Tentacles. But if you are talking about the commotion earlier this morning it has been dealt with within the bounds of typical hospital protocol."
The nurse held the door open more.
"Ok?"
Squidward pulled down his white gown and shook his head.
"Ya ya whatever, what's good to eat today?"
—-
Squidward sat at a long table seating a handful of other folks such as himself. The dinky plastic bench beneath their asses creaked and moaned between each body movement. A few dozen people aged 18 to 89 occupied the cramped cafeteria. A variety of mental disorders and mental peculiarities resided in the mental ward at this time. Some people like Johnny from earlier are completely in their own world of rules and laws. Their delusions seem to overtake them in ways the rest of the world will never understand. Most people, however, were just like Squidward. Typically, functional everyday people whose mental illness finally got the best of them. A suicide attempt here, overdose there, and sometimes a psychotic breakdown case or two. Most of them were just down on their luck. Hurt, traumatized, tired, and a little forgotten too.
Squidward was chewing on some mashed vegetable he couldn't figure out. The meds they were giving him were strong. He felt like a robot going about the repetitive movements of the day.
Not a care in the world.
He moved his spoon over to the beans to see if that flavor did anything for him. Everything they ate had to be spoon-friendly as forks and knives were a no-no. Practically, anything sharp or potentially harmful seemed to be absent at this wing of the hospital. The people here weren't all psychopaths and weirdos like you'd see in the movies. Surprisingly, to Squidward at least, a lot of these people were either dealing drugs or using themselves prior to commitment. The squid never would have made such a connection. People have been friendly to him, regardless.
"Yo, you're gonna finish that?"
Squidward snapped out of his trance and looked at this fish sitting diagonal to him. The man was pointing at the pudding cup delicately placed amongst its less flavorful companions.
"No…you can have it"
The man grinned and swiped the cup right off Squidward's tray. The squid secretly wanted to eat it, but his submissive characteristics always prevail. He looked back down at the remaining mush in front of him and sighed.
"Why are you always so quiet?"
Squidward turned and faced the girl in front of him. She was purple and had bright ginger hued hair.
Taken back with surprise, he stuttered.
"I-I don't know…I don't have that much to say"
She smirked and giggled a little before turning over her wrists.
"See these marks?"
Her arms were covered up and down with slashing scars and unhealed abscesses. It looked like the Himalayas on those textured globes you would see in some outdated library.
"Ya…" He quickly averted his eyes to the ceiling.
"I tried to off myself a few days ago with a shard of glass I found lying around. Ugh…I was so fucking strung out too I literally coulda gotten me rabies or some shit from that dirty piece…"
Squidward looked on in a lifeless gaze. Why was she talking to him again?
"I'm just so fucking tired of being in this place..." She met his eyes and snorted.
She snapped her fingers in his face.
"Hello? Are you even listening to me!?"
Squidward shook his head and came to.
"Ya sorry…I'm still not used to these pills they are giving us"
"Whatchya taking?"
"They're giving me suboxone for withdrawals and then some kind of sedative that I don't know the name of"
Her eyes perked up.
"Subs huh?"
"Yep"
She leaned in closer. The smell of breakfast and sweat wafted from her face.
"Tell me…Mr. Octopus man…what did you hafta do to get somethin serious like that huh?"
"I'm a squid first off…and second I also tried to kill myself…well kinda not really"
Squidward shifted in his seat for a second.
"It's a long story but I was unknowingly hooked on percocets and eventually ended up here"
"Unknowingly?"
"Ya…it's the truth believe it or not…I trusted a friend believing his pills were some natural remedy or whatever"
The squid scratched his chin in discomfort.
"Looking back, I don't know how I didn't the field of red flags all over the place"
The girl leaned back with her jaw agape.
"God, I've never met anyone this naive! You really are insane!" She giggled
Squidward rolled his eyes and sank back into his seat.
"Says you. You're in the same boat as I am honey"
The girl laughed again just as a voice boomed over the intercom.
"Please make your way to the medicine counter, thank you. Again, please make your way to the medicine counter"
The girl across from Squidward grabbed his tentacle and squeezed.
"Hey…I got a proposition for ya"
Squidward raised an eyebrow as the sound of people getting up and talking surrounded them.
"It's got something to do with those pills you're talking about…"