Author's Note: Hey y'all. Sorry I missed yesterday for you. I started a new job, so being a full time author and a full time bartender can be very time consuming. I'm going to continue to try my best to give you daily updates, though. And, those of you wanting something to happen now, I can 100% assure you it will soon, just hold on a bit longer (: Please continue to review. Thank you for the love and support xx

"There's a pair of scrubs in the scrub room for you," Preston Burke looked towards the young doctor. "And you've been granted privileges for the next forty-eight hours, from the Chief." Meredith nodded. She was starting to lose feeling in her hands. "Alright, is everyone in position?" Burke looked at his fellow surgeons. "Dr. Grey, you can remove your hands.. now."

She stepped back, blooding covering her entire arms and the front of her dress. She was stuck for a minute. Doctor Burke was yelling at everyone, directing them on what to do. "Meredith," Cristina whispered harshly, trying to snap her out of it.

She shook her head of the thoughts running through it, and rushed towards the scrub room. Watching as the blood washed from her skin, Meredith heard the heart monitor going rapid. "Come on, Ryan. Don't do this."

Three minutes. "Come on. Come on." Ten minutes.

"Time of death 9:47," Burke dropped the scalpel on the table, before walking into the scrub room. "Dr. Grey."

"Too much damage, I know," She sighed, defeated. "In the field, he told me he didn't want to die. The look in his eyes…" Meredith blinked her eyes quickly to keep the tears from coming. "Damn it."

"I'll talk to the family." When he disappeared, another person had entered the room.

Meredith could always feel the presence of her mother without even seeing her. "What the hell happened?" She grumbled. "If you had just waited, I could have jumped right in."

Of course the Chief of Surgery thought she could save the world. "Both of my hands were in his abdomen for almost an hour. He was too far gone, already."

Ellis shook her head, "And that could have been my decision. I could have assessed the trauma and we could have made a solid plan of action. You acted reckless."

"Always a pleasure," Meredith grabbed the scrubs and walked out to the bench, sitting down. Cristina was next to her moments later. "Meredith, you're bleeding."

She looked down to see the large gash right above her knee, "God, damn it. Can this fucking night be over?"

"I'll suture you up then we're getting wasted at home."

x.x.x

Meredith looked at her favorite dress with a frown, tossing it into the garbage. She grabbed a few bottle, two shot glasses and sat down on the couch. "The first time I'm in the OR in months and he just dies. He just died."

"It's bullshit." Cristina pushed the shot glasses to the opposite end of the table and started drinking straight from the bottle. "Surgery is bullshit. That program is bullshit."

"Preach!" Meredith opened her own bottle, turning on ESPN. "I really don't like seeing myself on TV."

Cristina sighed, "I'm sleeping with my boss."

Meredith wasn't surprised on her delivery of the news. The content? Absolutely. "I have a crush on my patient."

"Cheers," They both tapped the neck of their bottles. "It's Burke."

"Oh, yeah?" Meredith swallowed the liquor with a bit of a struggle. "Are you dating? Or-"

"We can't date. He's my boss," Cristina held onto her bottle, trying to reach for the controller. "Do we have to watch football?"

"For at least a half. We're going to Miami on Thursday night. I want to watch their starters." Meredith shrugged as there was a knock on the door. "Is that Burke?" She smirked.

"I hope you miss your flight back," Cristina laughed, opening her front door. "Ah, MVP, come in. Grab a bottle. Your boyfriend's here." The last part, she didn't say as loudly.

Meredith smacked her friend in the shoulder, "Derek? What are you doing here for?" Derek handed her the purse she had with her before. "Oh, my god. I thought this was gone forever."

"What did you think? I'd leave it there," He chuckled, with his hands shoved in his front pockets. He stumbled, a tad.

"MVP's drunk," Cristina opened a bottle of whiskey, passing it towards him. "Sit, drink and be merry."

Derek took a hold of the bottle, sitting down on the love seat by himself. "How did everything go?"

Meredith sighed. She looked at him, then motioned to the fact each person held an entire bottle of their own liquor. "Barely made it on the table."

Derek leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "I'm sorry."

Meredith and Cristina did another cheers, out respect for the patients they both lost. This was their backwards way of coping. "It's unfortunately a part of it." She moved to wrap her arms around her legs. "And then, this happened."

Derek looked at the stitches, "You had a rough night."

"That's why this is happening," Meredith kept tossing back sips and sips. She glanced at the TV to see Derek's press conference from earlier.

"Is it weird seeing your face on the television?" Cristina raised an eyebrow. "It'd hate that."

Derek shrugged, taking a few big gulps, "I've been dealing with it since college. I'm used to it. The tabloids though, they suck."

"The good old rumor mill, huh?"

"It never ends."