Sakura hadn't considered how ironic it was that she was more frightened by being alone in her apartment versus alone with the guy who literally just killed someone in front of her. Yet, when Temari and Kankuro returned to retrieve their younger brother, Sakura agreed to come to their house. The drive was silent and a lot longer than she remembered- she hadn't even realized that they moved into a new place until she walked through the front door. She carefully studied her surroundings but didn't ask them any questions. Their new home was not the most pressing thing on her mind at that moment. Temari and Kankuro disappeared into the kitchen and as Gaara headed upstairs to the second floor, Sakura lingered behind him. When they reached a door that was cracked open slightly at the end of the hall, he pushed it open further and waited for Sakura to enter first.

She assumed this was Gaara's bedroom. It was set up similarly to the one at Temari's previous house; a few pieces of new furniture- two wooden nightstands on either side of the bed, a large dresser, a bookshelf filled to the brim, and a fresh set of dark red bedsheets being the only difference. Even in his previous room, Gaara had been far from an interior decorator. He only cared to have what he felt was necessary- no posters, artwork, or anything to signify if he had any interests. The only thing that really disclosed a major part of his personality was how neat and tidy he kept his living space.

Sakura moved a few feet inside and pressed her back against the wall, choosing to remain close to the door in case she had to make a break for it. She crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to comfort herself. After closing the door behind him, Gaara leisurely made his way over to his bed and lied down, allowing himself a nice, long stretch and closed his eyes. Hoshi, who had been sleeping at the end of the bed when they first came in, rose up and settled himself on Gaara's lap, purring loudly as he curled up and returned to sleep.

Keeping her distance for now, Sakura silently watched as the pair relaxed, calmly breathing in and out. She couldn't help but envy how comfortable they both looked; she was so fucking tense, she didn't know how to start asking Gaara the questions that she had. Fortunately, she wouldn't have to, because he would break the silence in such an unsettling way.

"I was 15 when I killed my father," he said with his eyes still closed and without any emotion in his tone.

Sakura blinked rapidly, and her heart reacted immediately, beginning to beat even faster than it already was. She recalled the article from 7 years ago that she came across when she was trying to find information about him. The article stated that the person who murdered his father was never identified.

"It was you? Your own father…?" she almost whispered. She shuddered. 'At 15!?'

"Mmhm," Gaara hummed.

How was he being so casual about this?

"But… why?"

"I was ordered to,"

"Ordered to?" she repeated, "you killed him because you were ordered to? Did it not matter to you that it was your own father?"

Gaara propped himself up on his elbows and made eye contact with her. "Not really," he sighed, "my father was cruel. I was given two choices: kill him, or watch Temari and Kankuro die. I don't regret the choice I made. The world is a better place without him in it." His tone was callous and the cold look in his eyes reinforced his words.

Sakura took a deep, nervous breath. She was sure the fear in her eyes was visible, and she contemplated if she should continue with her questions. Did she really want to know more? Should she run? She couldn't believe running was even a question she was asking herself. But if she tried to, would he stop her?

"Who made you choose?" her curiosity getting the best of her.

"The Akatsuki," he admitted. "Their leader caught wind of rumors that my father wanted a way out of the gang. He thought the best way out was to work with the police on taking them down. Since he was the mayor and had security following him around day and night, Temari, Kankuro and I were the only ones that could get close enough to him." Gaara shifted so he was sitting straight up now. "So… I did it."

'Run.'

"If you guys were the only ones who could do it…" she continued, betraying the thoughts that were trying to save her, "wouldn't that make it easier for the police to figure out who did it?"

"Yeah, but… the Akatsuki's leader quickly replaced my father's position as mayor and made sure that the police didn't investigate."

"...Madara Uchiha?" she wondered out loud.

"How do you know that name?" he asked her.

"I- I uh…um… I uh…" there was no lying her way out of this one, "well, it's kind of a long story. I mean, not really that long. It's a little confusing, really-"

Gaara stared at her with a curious expression and waited for her to stop beating around the bush and pathetically avoiding the question. Once she ran out of "uhs" and "ums," she returned his stare and threw her hands behind her head, blushing and laughing nervously.

"Ya know?" she asked, as if she had made any sense at all. She was literally freaking out at the thought of telling him how she learned Gaara's name and tried to search him up online. It just came off so… stalker-y. But, then again, she never did tell him how she learned his name.

"I've been answering your questions honestly," he stated, "and I'll continue to do so… but you need to answer some of mine."

Gaara padded the empty side of the bed next to him, signaling for her to come sit. Her reluctance was prominent, however, and Gaara quickly picked up on it.

'Just run,' the voice in her head urged her once again.

"I am not going to hurt you," he said.

And she believed him. He had so many opportunities to hurt her before, but he hadn't. He could have killed her tonight if that's what he wanted to do. Perhaps it was the pregnancy that was stopping him. Maybe he'd kill her just like he killed Matsuri once it was over.

'You are… family now,' she recalled him saying the night he left for Suna, right before kissing her softly.

He killed his own father to spare the rest of his family, and he killed Matsuri because she was going to kill her. He came to her rescue tonight. Sakura knew she should be sickened by his extreme display of loyalty. Normal people didn't commit murder. Yet, she wasn't. If anything, realizing that there was somebody who had literally gone that far for her was… weirdly comforting. Something out of a twisted romance novel. That's what she was actually scared of; the fact that she somehow felt safe with him was not computing with her brain.

Slowly, Sakura pushed herself away from her only exit and climbed onto the bed next to him. Gaara leaned back against the headboard, combing his fingers through Hoshi's fur, waiting patiently for Sakura to continue speaking.

She told him about how she learned his name, her DEA agent friend, and ex- although she left Sasuke's name out of it. He had already heard Naruto's name that day when Gaara caught her in the alleyway. She explained how she learned of his involvement in the Akatsuki, how she interfered with his arrest, and about her decision to walk away from the DEA instead of working with them to capture Gaara. At first, she was motivated to protect him because she was pregnant, but then, even after knowing the dangerous lifestyle he lived, she couldn't see him as a monster that should be behind bars.

"You… don't want this life, right?" she asked him, referring to his criminal escapades. By this point, Sakura had made herself comfortable on the bed, lying on her back with her head to the side, looking up at his face. He stared back at those hopeful green eyes for a moment before averting his own to the cat that still slept in his lap.

"...No," he said after a moment. "I thought that maybe they'd let us go after I killed my father. We were only kids. But instead, they forced us to replace him, and we've been stuck under their thumb ever since."

Sakura felt her eyes beginning to sting, but she fought the tears as she listened to Gaara talk about how life had been for him and his siblings. They were only 10, 11, and 12 when their father decided to get involved with the gang- Gaara the youngest, and Temari the oldest.

"What about your mother?" Sakura asked.

Their eyes connected again and even though there wasn't any emotion behind Gaara's expression, Sakura couldn't help but feel like she just asked something that was off-limits. He parted his lips to speak, hesitating.

"Um…" he looked back at Hoshi in his lap. "She died. Giving birth to me." He reached out and stroked the cat's head gently. "My father always blamed me for that."

When she finally blinked, a single tear escaped one of her eyes, and more would flow silently as she listened to Gaara continue.

To the public eye, their father was a good man that not only wanted the best for his city, but for his children as well. He claimed to have taken great pride in being a single father. But things were different behind closed doors. He had many vices but was mostly a drunk. The three siblings were frequently subjected to random acts of physical abuse, regardless if they had done anything wrong. Gaara recalled one night when he was only about 8 years old, his father had dragged him out of bed without a single word in the middle of the night to whip him with a belt. He spent the remainder of that night cowering on the cold, hard floor until the sun rose.

Despite their father having such a powerful and lucrative position in Suna, money always seemed to be tight. This would ultimately be what pushed him to get involved with the Akatsuki. Not only did he accept their bribes and look the other way while they corrupted their city, but he started growing marijuana for the gang, a task that he would force his children to help him with.

Without thinking, Sakura extended one of her hands and reached for Gaara's. She squeezed it gently. He was caught off guard by this intimate action and didn't really understand what she was trying to do, but decided not to reject it.

He continued telling her about the last few years leading up to his father's murder. There was so much violence, most of which Gaara received the brunt of. As for anyone else he had been ordered to kill, it didn't really matter why. The main reason he was ever put up to the task was due to convenience- typically, he was the only person who could get close enough. His only choices were to either obey and protect his family or watch them die at the hands of the Akatsuki. The latter was never feasible in his mind. And technically, even though he did it on his own terms, Matsuri was not an exception. Sakura wasn't ready to ask about how they got rid of the bodies. She'd probably never be ready for those details.

Once he felt he had said enough, he sighed and looked over at Sakura. She had fallen asleep, but her hand was still squeezing his. He checked his phone: it was just after 2 in the morning. There was a small wet spot on the pillow from Sakura's tears. Since she was sleeping on top of the sheets, Gaara moved her hand back toward her body and gently lifted Hoshi from his lap to go retrieve a throw blanket from his dresser. He turned off the bedroom light, covered Sakura with the blanket and returned to his spot on the bed. He lay on his side and faced her, observing her features that were illuminated by the moonlight. It was as if he were looking at her for the first time.

Gaara wasn't sure what she was doing to him, but there was always a sense of peace when he was in her presence.

xxx

Sakura awoke sometime in the late morning. The other side of the bed was empty, as she expected it would be. After getting up, she made her way to the second-floor bathroom to adjust her wild bedhead in the mirror, then crept down the stairs to see if anyone was home. She followed the familiar sounds of Temari and Kankuro's voices and found them in the kitchen. They were both standing at the stove.

"We finally have a kitchen with more than enough space for all of us, yet you still choose to hover over me!" Temari shouted at her brother.

"Maybe if you were a better cook, I wouldn't have to!"

"First, there's nothing wrong with my cooking! Second, I'm making EGGS, Kankuro. You'd have to be an idiot to screw up eggs!"

"Well… I mean," Kankuro shrugged, but before he could say anything more insulting, he noticed Sakura standing in the doorway. "Oh hey, morning, Sakura. I hope my sister's shrill voice didn't wake you."

Temari scowled at him.

"Not at all," Sakura said with an awkward smile, "I couldn't hear anything until I came downstairs."

"Would you like some eggs?" Temari asked her, "don't listen to Kankuro, I promise they're going to be great."

"Sure," Sakura said, taking a seat at the table. "So… when did you guys move?"

"Yesterday," Kankuro replied. He and his sister both joined Sakura at the table. Kankuro slid a plate of eggs over to her and started picking at his own. Temari watched as he silently critiqued the food and held back the urge to swat him.

"This place is so beautiful," she said.

"I know it's only been a day, but I'm very happy with it," Temari smiled, "I've always dreamed about having a nice, big house. Especially since I have two brothers that refuse to move out."

"Hey- Gaara had his own place until recently," Kankuro retorted, "and besides, it's expensive to live on our own.

Temari shoved a spoonful of eggs in her mouth to avoid arguing further.

"Do you guys mind if I take a shower?" Sakura asked, before realizing, "oh- wait, I forgot to bring a change of clothes with me…"

"Gaara shouldn't be gone too long," Kankuro said, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind taking you back home."

Sakura winced at the thought of returning to her apartment. With what had just occurred last night, she didn't feel comfortable returning at all, let alone sleeping there.

"Are you alright?" Temari asked.

"I'm sorry," Sakura apologized, "it's just that… I don't think I can stay there for a while."

"Well, at the very least, Gaara can take you there to get some of your things," Temari said, "you can stay here with us for as long as you need."

Kankuro nodded his head in agreement, stuffing his face with the eggs he criticized only moments ago.

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want to intrude…"

"You wouldn't be intruding," Temari assured her, "you're part of our family now."

Sakura raised her eyebrows and felt her cheeks warm as a faint blush began appearing. 'Family,' she thought. A soft smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "I… um… thank you."

"Of course," Temari returned the smile. "Now… if you don't mind me asking… am I going to have a niece, or a nephew?"

Although she expected Gaara would tell his siblings that the baby was his at some point, Sakura nearly choked on her eggs when she heard the question. "I actually don't know yet," she replied, resisting the urge to cough, "I should be able to find out at my next appointment, but… I haven't made up my mind if I want it to be a surprise or not. Gaara also hasn't told me his thoughts on that, either."

"I understand," Temari pouted, "I'm just so excited to be an aunt and I can't wait to meet them."

"If you'd like, you guys can come along with me to my next appointment. And… if you can keep it to yourself, maybe I'll let the technician tell you the sex."

Temari instantly perked up and squealed in delight. "Really?!"

"Yes, but only if you're sure you can-"

Temari slammed her fists on the table. "I won't tell you anything," she deadpanned, her expression swiftly returning to excitement, and she clasped her hands together, "but… maybe… gender reveal party?"

"Oh- well, I uh, I don't know about that," Sakura laughed nervously.

"Great idea Temari, and we can invite all two of Gaara's friends," Kankuro replied sarcastically, "just you and me."

Temari swatted the back of Kankuro's head.

"I think I might be alright with just a simple baby shower," Sakura said.

"Alright," Temari caved, "I won't push you to do anything. But don't you hesitate to let me know if you change your mind."

Sakura smiled and gave her a nod. She appreciated the enthusiasm, but the reality that she'd be holding a tiny human in her arms in the near future hadn't quite settled with her yet.

xxx

Later that night, Gaara brought Sakura to her apartment. She was quick to run in and out with a bag full of necessities and the tiny cactus he had gifted her. Once they returned to the other house, she took a long, hot shower. Gaara had done his best to clean Matsuri's blood off of her the night before, but as she rinsed her hair, she watched as pink-tinted water washed down the drain.

Thoughts of all the noises she heard while she was cowering in her bathroom that night came rushing back. She was quick to stifle the emotions that were resurfacing by thinking of Temari's ideas from earlier. A gender reveal party sounded like it could be fun, but that nor a baby shower seemed realistic. Not only were the very few people Gaara gave a shit about under the same roof at this very moment, but Sakura had basically dropped off the planet once she had gotten pregnant. Naruto was the only friend she had kept in contact with during the last few months, and after walking out on him at that diner, their friendship was most certainly dwindling. He'd surely reject the invitation and it would sting for the rest of her life.

It felt nice to think about normal things, though. For a moment, she could stop and fantasize about what the future had in store for her. Surrounded by her friends, celebrating the next big thing in her life, and happy. Happy.

She knew that it wasn't feasible, though.

Sakura finished showering, dried herself off and threw on a baggy white t-shirt and the only pair of shorts she owned that still fit her well enough. She was still rather petite, but her body was growing fast. She needed to consider getting maternity clothes soon. When she exited the bathroom, she sighed as the cool air in the hallway came in contact with her exposed skin.

She was going to head to bed but glanced down at the other end of the hallway at the sliding glass door. Curious, she went to inspect and stepped out onto the large balcony that overlooked the city. Sakura had never seen Konoha from this angle. The large, full moon overhead with glimmering lights from the city below looked like a stunning nightlife painting.

She was so enthralled with the sight before her that she hadn't heard Gaara step outside. He stood next to her with his arms crossed over his chest.

"We're so far away that we can't hear all of the noise down there," he said, startling her slightly.

"Y-yeah," Sakura agreed, "it's much more peaceful to look at when you're not living in the center of it. I do wish there were more stars in the sky, though."

"I'm sure we'll see more when the moon isn't so big and bright."

As they both stood there and admired the sight, Gaara glanced down at the hand Sakura had at her side. He uncrossed his arms and let them drop, then slowly and shyly reached for hers. Sakura's eyes went wide when she felt his fingers brush against the back of her hand. She stared straight ahead still, assuming that maybe it was just an accident- gasping softly when those same fingers began to maneuver between her own. She looked down at their hands first, then up at Gaara. His eyes were squeezed shut, his brow was twitching, and his face was completely red. Before Sakura could ask him if he was alright-

"Will you… stay here with us?" he asked, forcing himself to open his eyes and look at her, "with… me?"

"Wh… what? Like… live here?"

After a few silent seconds, he said, "Yes."

Sakura was floored by how nervous he was to ask. How was it that this was the same man that didn't think twice about a one-night stand, yet something as innocent as holding hands had him blushing like a boy with his first crush? And he looked like he was in so much pain as if he were anticipating a negative reaction that would shatter his heart.

'He's so weird…' she thought to herself. But 'weird' was becoming Sakura's 'new normal,' and she was starting to find comfort in it.

She squeezed his hand gently and gave him a small, reassuring smile.

"I think… I'd like that," she said.

She swore she could literally see the weight leave his shoulders. He tried to hide the deep sigh he was holding in, but she noticed it and couldn't help but giggle.

From inside, Temari and Kankuro noticed the two of them standing next to each other as they were heading to their own rooms. They slipped into the closest room to observe. As soon as Temari saw Gaara reach for Sakura's hand, she gasped and started playfully slapping her brother, who returned her excitement by shaking her.

"He likes her!" Temari exclaimed as quietly as she could.

"I know I know I know!" Kankuro squealed. They were jumping up and down, behaving like young teens at their favorite boy band concert.

"Who woulda thought? Our Gaara? Falling in love? With a pretty girl who isn't crazy?"

"Yeah, he's so awkward, not smooth with the ladies at all," Kankuro said, accidentally speaking loud enough to be heard. Gaara glared over his shoulder at his siblings. "Oh, hey! We were just… saying goodnight!"

"Yeah, goodnight!" Temari yelled, making no attempt to hide how funny it was to her that they had been caught gawking.

They rushed off to their respective rooms.