Puck: POV

I opened the door. "What's up?"

"'Zilla!" Little Dude shouted.

"What's up, Little Dude?" I held my hand out for a high-five.

He jumped to hit it.

"Alright." I looked at his sister. "How you doin, Little Mini Mama? That's a pretty dress."

She beamed at me and swung side to side. "Tank coo, 'Zilla."

I thought it was kinda cute that Mini Mama taught them to say 'Zilla. Even better than she was letting the rest of us teach them English. I tapped her nose and she giggled.

"What up, kid?" Mini Mama held her hand out.

We did our stupid as hell handshake. "How goes it?"

"It goes." She took their hands and led them over to the couch.

I turned to Mike and we did our stupid handshake. "Hey!"

"Hey." He crashed next to his niece and tickled her.

I slapped hands with Finn. "How long did it take to get here?"

"Not long with Marcy driving." He whispered while taking peeks at her. "She drives like she's trying to get away."

"Mini Mama doesn't go above the speed limit."

"It feels like it."

"Baby." I grinned.

He pushed me and walked over to the couch. "So are we doing this or what?"

"Yes." Mini Mama stood up. "I need a knife, 'Zilla."

"Got it." I went to the kitchen and got a knife but also a paper towel. I didn't know how messy it was going to be. I came back and handed both over. "Here you go."

"Good lookin." She opened a bag and took out a lemon. She started slicing it into six pieces.

Yeah. We were going to eat lemons. For the twins, for the very first time. We were going to record their reactions.

After slicing the lemon, she handed out the pieces. "Okay, Mally, Mickey. You put them in your mouth like this." She put it in her mouth and smiled. Only the rind shone between her lips.

They giggled at her.

Mike put his in and made a bunch of noise.

They laughed at him.

Finn and I put ours in and I almost spit mine out again. That shit was tart!

Mini Mama leaned forward and swiped her mouth across Little Mini Mama's cheek. The little girl giggled and held her mom's face to hers.

Little Dude obviously wanted to try because he put the lemon slice in his mouth. We all had our phones trained on him in a second flat. His face was priceless. His eyes widened, his eyebrows came together then his whole face crumbled.

I thought he was going to cry but he just took the slice from his mouth and looked at it.

Mini Mama took hers out. "What's wrong, baby?"

He held it out. "Ow."

"Ow? It hurt?"

He nodded.

She started speaking another language and then Mike joined in. Little Dude nodded and put the piece back in.

Little Mini Mama finally put her piece in and immediately spit it back out. "No!"

We cracked up.

Mini Mama spoke to her, too and after a lot of convincing, she put it back in. Mini Mama slid her slice back in then rubbed her mouth over her daughter's cheek again.

Little Mini Mama liked that and tried to do it to her brother. He just looked at her before he cracked up at out of nowhere. She hit him but he didn't stop laughing.

I looked at Mini Mama and saw she was turned away (with her camera still on them) and was grinning ear to ear. I tapped her knee. "You bad."

She took the slice out. "I'm in like company."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"The only good people in this house right now is Finn and Mickey."

"What?!" I wasn't offended but I couldn't let her know that.

"What's going on with you two?" Mike had Little Mini Mama on his lap and was tapping the lemon in her mouth.

"She called you bad!"

His mouth fell open but Mini Mama with the blankest face ever said, "I did."

"I'm bad?! She's bad!" He was heated.

"She said you were bad, too." I told her son.

"Bad?" Little Dude looked confused.

"You are." She didn't give a damn.

He pouted.

"Did you call me bad?" Finn looked hurt.

"No." She hit me. "I'm thirsty."

"Why you tellin me?" I leaned away from her.

"Why not?!" Finn sounded offended.

"What can I do?"

"This is your house." She duhed.

"You're not a guest! You're family! Get it yourself!"

"Lazy bum!" She stood up and kicked me to get by.

"Rude witch!" I shot back.

She yelled something as she went into the kitchen.

Mike fell out laughing.

"What'd she say?!" I demanded.

"Who cares?! She didn't say I was bad!" Finn snapped.

"Yeah, congratulations." Mike rolled his eyes. "She basically said you were a chronic masturbator."

My mouth fell open. "I am not!"

"I don't want to hear this."

"I gets it in!"

"Nope!" He covered his ears.

I pulled on his arms. "Listen to me!"

"No! Listen to me!" Finn hit us both. "I'm not such a good guy!"

We both turned to him.

"I'm not!"

"Okay. Whatever you say, buddy."

"Don't talk to me like that! And don't talk in unison! It's scary!"

"Yeah, you're dangerous." Mike rolled his eyes.

Finn threw himself back and crossed his arms.

Mini Mama came back and scooted past us to sit down. While she was scooting, I slapped her ass.

She turned around and punched me in the mouth. It wasn't too hard but it surprised the hell outta me. It was smooth and quick.

My lips felt plumped up. "Sorry, Mini Mama. I thought I saw a mosquito."

She raised a brow as she sat down and crossed her legs.

I grinned. "I had to! It was in my face!"

"I need a sign. Hands off my ass."

"But it's so righteous. You, Mama and Satan got the best ones."

"Have you seen Tina's? Pretty good."

Mike's face paled and he whipped around to glare at her. "Stop staring at my girlfriend!"

"Make me." She sipped her water.

"I'll tell Ellen!"

"You're just three years old."

"Keep it up!"

"Big baby." She mumbled.

He narrowed his eyes and took out his phone.

She put his hand down. "Stop being a * and listen. Mickey called Ellen a name the other day."

"You don't curse in front of them. Where did they learn a bad word from?"

"It wasn't a bad word. And it was in English. I think they got it from a certain Mohawked teen father."

I frowned. "What I say?"

"Mickey called Ellen Mama."

Us guys' mouths fell open. "Really?!"

"Yup."

"How did you feel about that?" Mike asked.

"I thought it was cute. She just went up to her and said, "Hi, Mama.". I had to hug her. Ellen cried though. That chick is weird."

"Marcy!" Mike snapped before saying seriously, "You don't mind the twins calling her Mama?"

"Well she is dating their mother and father. We visit her enough and we will be living with her. I hope they form a connection with her."

"I'm surprised at you. You're way selfish but you don't mind sharing your motherhood with Ellen?"

"I'm selfish?" She stuck her bottom lip out and her eyes got big and wet. She kept sniffing like she was trying to pull in air without opening her mouth.

"Well- don't cry, Marce. You're not selfish. That was rude of me."

"Really?" Her eyes looked so hurt.

"Really. You're not selfish. You're completely selfless."

She leaned across the kids and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Tank coo, Mikey."

He rubbed her back. "You're welcome."

"Want some water?"

"Sure."

"I'll get you a bottle." She stood up and waded past us.

I waited until she was gone to hit Mike. "She just straight up played you."

"What? Shut up. No, she didn't." He frowned.

"Yeah, she did."

"No, she didn't."

"Yeah, she did. They always get you."

"Who's they?!"

"All yo sisters. They know they only gotta bat those eyelashes at you or stick out that lip and you'll let them get away with murder!"

He frowned as Mini Mama came back. She sat down and handed him the water. "Thank you. Puck seems to think you manipulate me."

She blinked then frowned then blinked again before she dropped her head. "Why would he say something like that? You're my big brother. I'd never hurt you."

"I know." He put a hand on her shoulder. "But manipulation isn't hurtful."

"Yes, it is. It says that I don't care about your feelings. But I do care. People think I don't and it hurts. I'm still a person. Aren't I?"

He fell into her eyes as she looked up. "Of course you are. Puck's stupid. He doesn't know anything. You would never manipulate me. You love me too much."

She kissed his cheek. "You should call Mercy and Lucy. They'll need your sweetness. Jr. stole their diaries again."

He grimaced. "I should call them. They're liable to search him out at school and beat him with the rope hanging in the gym."

We watched him leave to go to the kitchen.

Out of nowhere, my chest felt on fire. I looked at Mini Mama, who was glaring at me. She'd punched me! "Ow!"

"Run your mouth again!" She hissed.

Finn's fell open. "Were you manipulating him?!"

"You shut your mouth, too!" She pointed at him.

He leaned back. "But you said you loved him!"

"I love me more."

I rubbed my chest. It was right in the middle, right under my throat. Damn, she got me good! "I was only yankin his chain, Mini Mama."

"Keep your filthy paws off his chain."

"But-"

"But nothing! That's my big brother and there's few things in life like having one and being able to get him to do whatever you want. You ruin that and there's nowhere you can hide. Got it?!"

"Yes, ma'am." I nodded.

"Good."

Mike walked back in. "They're upset but I've talked them into not maiming him when he gets home. They didn't even know he'd taken them. How'd you know, Marce?"

She sipped her water. "You know how he brags."

He shook his head as he sat down. "He's going to get enough of that. So what were you guys talking about?"

"Puck was apologizing for saying those mean things about me." She gave me a look.

I gulped. "Sorry I said that stuff, Mini Mama. I didn't know what I was talking about."

"That's okay. You don't have an older sibling. How could you understand that dynamic?"

"Yeah, it's something to have an older sibling." Mike nodded. "I don't think I'd be the same person without Marc and Laura."

"Or I you." She bumped his shoulder.

He wrapped his arm around her. "I guess you haven't been such a bad little sister."

"Thank you."

As I watched the two of them go back and forth, I realized Mini Mama scared the shit out of me. I never found out all her issues but I'm starting to think she had that disease all those serial killers had.

I should stay on her good side before my kids grow up without a dad…

MAP

"Are you ready?"

Jake blew out a breath. "No."

"Jake!" I snapped.

"I'm not! Let's go home! We can get ice cream on the way!" He got up and headed for the door.

I went behind him and dragged him back. "We can get ice cream after you pass your driver's test."

"I don't want to do this." He fought against me.

I pushed him in a chair and held him down. "I can't leave you my truck if you don't have a license. You can't drive without a license. Therefore, you need a license."

"Not if I drive illegally."

I slapped him gently.

"Nope! Still panicked!"

"Jake, relax! Don't you think your mom would appreciate you having your own wheels? You could take Marley anywhere. You'd see Nic whenever you wanted. You could visit me. You need this freedom."

He took deep breaths.

"Jake Puckerman?!" A fat guy called out.

"You can do this." I hauled him up and pushed him towards the guy who clearly collected comic books.

Jake gulped and held out his hand. "Hi, I'm Jake."

The man waved him through with a clipboard. "This way, kid."

I held up my thumbs when Jake looked back at me as they went through a door. "You got this!"

MAP

Mercedes: POV

"Happy birthday, Maddie!" We yelled.

Maddie clapped. "Thank you!"

"We're so proud of you, Ms. 13!" Laura hugged her tight.

Maddie grinned wide. "Yay!"

"You have to open my present first, Mad!" Marcy shook her box.

"No! Mine!" Lucy shoved her box over.

"What about mine?" I pouted.

Maddie closed her eyes and reached for one. "How about this one?"

"Yes!" Lucy shouted.

Maddie unwrapped it. "Pompoms? Why?"

"There's hair-ties in there, too. It's because one day you're going to go to McKinley like every one of us and you're going to be a Cheerio just like your sisters."

Maddie shook the pompoms. "Yes! I can't wait!"

"Now open mine!" Marcy pushed her present into Maddie's arms.

Maddie opened it. "Your shades!"

"I figured they always looked better on you than me. Purple leopard print is fugly anyway."

Maddie hugged her. "I love them!"

I gave Maddie my present. "You're going to love this."

She opened it and lifted out my necklace that said LOVE in silver. She screamed in happiness. "I've always wanted this!"

"I know." I put it on her.

Laura gave over her present. "Here you go, Maddie. Happy birthday."

Maddie opened it and took out a large bottle of perfume with the old fashioned pump. "Your perfume!"

"Now you can smell just like me."

"Here you go, imp." Mal handed her a box.

Maddie tore into it. "Is this what I think it is?"

"My first digital camera." He nodded.

She hung it around her neck and snapped a picture of all of us. "Thanks, Mal! I'll take good care of it!"

"Tada! Here you go!" Mikey presented his gift.

She opened it and screamed. "Your hoodie with the purple inlay!"

"You've been eyeing it since I got it so…"

Marc handed over his gift. "Here you go. It's going to be worth a lot of money one day so don't sell it."

Maddie tore into it and took out one of his old high school football jerseys. She put it on right away. "Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome, Sugarfoot."

Maddie layered on the gifts. She looked like a bag lady but super adorable. "How do I look?"

We snapped pictures of her. "Too bad you had your party weeks ago. We could have shone this to your friends."

She hit us. "No! I'm glad to have this party with just us."

"Good." Mrs. C said. "Because we have presents for you, too."

"Yay!"

"Oh! Here's another one from the seven of us." Marcy handed over a bracelet box.

Maddie took it and opened the blue velvet. She lifted out a gold charm bracelet. It had eight zodiac charms and two initial charms (M,C). The zodiac was each of ours and the letters had diamonds. "I love it."

"It's so that whenever you wear it, you'll feel like we're close." It was Marcy's idea.

Maddie hugged each of us. "Thank you! And to celebrate it, we're going out for ice cream."

"We are?" Marc smirked.

"Yes! Just the eight of us."

"Leave us out!" Ms. Judy teased.

Maddie hugged her. "Sorry, Ms. Judy. It's a sibling thing. But I'll take your present though."

We all laughed.

MAP

Puck: POV

I paced in the space by a wall as I kept an eye on the clock. It'd been 32 minutes exactly. A door opened and I spun around.

There he was!

I ran over. "How'd you do?!"

He was pale and walked like a zombie. He muttered something.

"What?"

"I passed."

My eyes widened and I picked him up and spun him around before I dropped him back on his feet and shook him. "You did it! You did it! I knew you would! You did it!"

He laughed a little before laughing a lot. He was getting a bit hysterical. I shook him again and he stopped. "I can't believe I passed!"

"I knew you'd get it! I'm so proud of you, Jake!"

"What?" He cocked his head.

"I said I knew you'd get it."

"After that."

"I said I'm so proud of you."

He smiled and dropped his head. "Thanks."

"I am, you know. I'm really proud of you."

He rubbed his hand against his nose and inhaled. "Alright, stop being a girl. I remember something about ice cream and my truck. How about I go get Nic and we go out for ice cream?"

I wrapped my arm around his neck and dragged him out. "Hell yeah!"

MAP

Mercedes: POV

"This isn't an ice cream parlor." Laura said. "It's a tattoo parlor."

"Worse; it's our tattoo parlor." Marc added.

"I know." Maddie grinned. "We're not getting ice cream. At least not yet. I'm getting my first tattoo."

"My kid!" Marcy high-fived her.

Maddie grinned. "Let's go in."

We went inside. This is where we got our first legal tattoos. And they weren't even legal even though they did them on anyone twelve and older. You didn't even need ID.

"Are you sure about this, Maddie?" Laura questioned. "You can't take this back."

"I know. I really want it." Maddie flipped through pictures.

"Okay. What were you thinking?"

"Something for each of us."

"Oh ho, what?!"

Marcy buried her face in Mal's shirt but I knew she was laughing.

"I want us all to get a matching tattoo." Maddie didn't skip a beat.

"Like what?" Lucy asked. "We don't get just anything on us."

"Mikey has a giant Chinese dragon on his back…"

"I like my dragon!" Mikey sputtered.

Maddie frowned. "How about our birthdays? Like how my bracelet is all our signs? We each get our own birthdays."

"How would that look?" Laura was still on the fence.

"Like mine would be 0604 and yours would be 0905."

Laura paused in flipping through a book. "We'd have to get script. This block is so unattractive."

"Deal!"

"Where are you trying to have it?" Mal asked.

"Do you have any space on your right arm?"

He shifted Marcy so he could roll up his sleeve. "Yeah."

"I'm thinking by the top. It'll be cute."

Marcy rolled up her own sleeve. "I got room. Let's do this."

"Figure out what ya want?" A big burly gentleman asked.

"Yes." Laura took charge. "The eight of us would like our birthdays in script on our right arms."

"Colors?"

"Yes."

Marcy snickered. "Oh, Mad."

"What's wrong with color?" Maddie asked. "I love purple."

"You'll see."

"I can get two of you at a time." The man said. "Which two is up?"

"We can go in order." Maddie said smartly. "Mikey and Marcy can go first."

"How you want it?"

"0103." Mikey said.

"0521." Marcy added.

"You two go sit down and the rest of you draw up how you want yours. We'll get started right away." The man began sketching for their designs.

When he finished, he pressed the tracing paper onto their arms and lifted them away. The numbers stayed on their arms.

Their artists prepared everything then began inking them. Maddie watched in morbid fascination.

Neither Mikey nor Marcy minded getting tattoos so it wasn't like Maddie was getting the right reaction. But she and I were going next.

Mikey got his in black while Marcy got hers in green. Their artists wrapped their arms in bandages and they hopped out of the chairs.

"How'd it feel?" Maddie asked.

Marcy yawned. "Whatever."

Mikey shrugged. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes." Maddie sat down and we all focused our phones on her.

I sat down next to her and rolled up my sleeve. The artists pressed our designs against our arms and pulled back the paper. 0729 stayed on my arm.

I was still squeamish about needles but I could get a tattoo. I barely flinched. Maddie (who they were holding down) flinched and screamed.

"It's okay, Maddie!" We told her.

"But it hurts!"

"We know. It gets better."

So she sniffled and put on her big girl panties. She sat still and quiet. Finally we were done and she hopped off the chair.

Lucy and Marc sat down next and got 0805 and 0814 respectively. Then Laura (0905) and Mal (1014) went.

Marcy got back in the chair and got a rainbow of butterflies from just under the back of her neck to along and over her shoulder. It looked really good.

Mikey, Lucy and I each got a small tri-colored flag on our ribs. Laura and Marc got the infinity symbol on their ring fingers. Mal and Marcy tried to find room and finally found a spot they both had open for a curly "E" on the inside of their right elbows.

Maddie got over her fear and got an "E" on her wrist. She refused to say what the "E" stood for.

When we were done, we went to get frozen yogurt to celebrate.