Chapter II: A Whole New Universe

The first thing Peter was aware of was the throbbing pain in his temples. Then, he took notice of the throbbing pain that seemed to have taken over his entire body. It felt like he had taken a beating from, at least, three Draxes.

He slowly opened his eyes but soon closed them due to an intense clarity. And just then, flashes of the past events came back rushing into his mind: the escape from the Krees, the Milano being hit, the bomb with its blue exotic matter thing (what was with the Krees and the color blue?), Rocket's explanations, Drax's terrifying laughter, Gamora's face, the hole…The hole!

If it all hadn't just been a dream - correction: nightmare - and they really had crossed that damned wormhole, then where the hell were they?

That clarity was starting to become a real pain in the ass so Peter's other senses were triggered. Angry car horns and voices, altering between curses and laugh; a familiar smell that Peter simply couldn't remember from what mixed with the strong odor of urine, probably human… Hold on a second! His eyes were just starting to adjust to the light and along with his sense of smell and hearing, Peter's sight at last confirmed what he was already suspicious of.

"Am I in New York City?"

After that rhetorical question (alright, enough with this rhetorical-question thing), our dear leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy found himself in complete shock. A few blinks in order to really rule out "this is all a nightmare" possibility and there she was: the Big Apple! …or at least, the rotten part of that apple.

"What about our agreement on pulling the covers off each other?"

A voice echoed from under a pile of filthy blankets right beside Peter. A voice he'd recognize anywhere.

"Yondu!?" Star-Lord yelled in total disbelief in the face of his not-so-long-ago-dead friend with a sleepy face.

"You're alive?"

"Look, I know I ain't at my best but you don't need to get offensive."

A part of Peter was genuinely happy to see his mentor again but the other parts were still very confused with no idea what was going on and with a really, really bad headache.

"What happened to you?" Peter cupped the other man's face in his hands. "How come you're not blue? Where are your red fin and that creepy flying arrow of yours?"

Yondu glanced at both sides and then faced Peter dead in the eye, as if he had finally recognized him somehow.

"Have you been buying drugs from Jeff again?"

"What?" Peter asked, outraged by the accusation. "Who's Jeff?"

But Yondu didn't mind his tone and carried on:

"I don't trust that guy. I've got no idea what he puts in that shit of his, but last time I swear I spent an entire week seeing unicorns." Yondu used a melancholic tone as if he was reliving the "last time." "And that's not a metaphor, I really saw unicorns. Of every color…red, blue, green, purple…"

Peter could see the other man's lips moving - and he was almost sure he'd heard something about purple unicorns - but aside from that, nothing else made sense. Not that purple unicorns made sense at all, but they did more than his ex-dead, ex-blue, ex-red fin, ex- arrow-whistler friend sitting right in front of him.

"Yondu!" The Guardian took a deep breath in order to regain his calm. "I'm not high, but you need to answer me this: what year is this?"

Udonta just rolled his eyes. Was that really Peter's way of convincing him he wasn't under the influence of any illegal substance?

"Fine. I'll answer that but only if you promise that the next one won't be "who's the president?" 'cause I'd rather not get into that shit."

Peter's face remained impassive.

"2018." Yondu finally broke the suspense.

Star-Lord did the math in his head quickly and according to it, they were in the same year when they were sucked by that stupid hole…At least, time travel had just been ruled out.

"Hey!" Yondu called out now fully awake. "How'd you know about my nickname?"

It took Peter a few seconds to realize he had been spoken to. But, with everything that was going on, who could blame him, really? "What?"

"Nobody's called me Yondu since high school. I didn't remember I've told you about this."

Whoa, wait! Yondu wasn't Yondu? What the hell was happening?

"Your name's not Yondu? So, what is it, then?"

"Hey, Rick!"

And before "Rick" himself could answer, a voice, a few steps away, did it first. A man, wearing a ridiculously expensive suit and equally ridiculously expensive sunglasses with a half-cocky-half-nice smile approached them.

"Mr. Stark." Yondu (sorry, Rick) greeted the billionaire in reverence.

"I saw you two and simply couldn't resist. Long time no see, right? Thought you guys had robbed a bank and fled to Costa Rica." Tony joked then reached his hand into one of his suit's pockets - "Here. To make it up for all this time." - and handed a one hundred dollar bill to a very happy Rick (or Yondu, for those who are still struggling). "You can keep the change."

Stark smirked and then directed himself to the other man.

"Pete! Handsome as always. Quiet as never. Is everything okay?" Tony asked but didn't give the younger man much time to reply. "Here." And gave away another bill. "So you two don't fight. A father must love all his children equally, right?" He said and prepared to leave.

"Catch you boys later. Don't spend it all in one place." And finally walked away.

And off he went. Our beloved Tony Stark, who apparently was a charming half-cocky-half-nice billionaire in any universe.

Peter just stood there, paralyzed and quiet (as never) holding the one hundred dollar bill in one hand and with no idea who that man was. The only thing he did know for sure was that he hadn't liked him a bit.

Yondu/Rick stood up excitedly, like a kid who's just received dozens of tokens for the local arcade.

"Look, whatever it is that you've used, it's gonna leave your body in a few hours. In the meantime, I'm gonna go spend this little beauty here." He kissed the bill with the kind of love he would kiss his mother (or even more so, after all we don't know what his mom was like).

"And if you see a unicorn, trust me, it ain't real."

It was with that last piece of advice that Yondu/Rick left jumping around the streets of New York, wondering what one could buy with a hundred dollars (and believe or not, a sweater never crossed his mind).

And speaking of the streets of New York, that's where we've left a very bewildered Peter.

"His name's Rick?" Quill asked himself as if that was the most shocking part of the whole situation. "Rick as in short for Richard or "Rick" as in Rick Martin?"

After that brief digression about his mentor's name, things were getting clear. And they got even clearer after Peter took a good look - and sniff- at himself. Well, there were two options that could explain his deplorable state: either someone had put something in his drink back on Contraxia that made him pass out, dream about the whole Kree bomb plot then wake up two weeks later on a street of a planet that looked a lot like Earth by the side of a guy who looked a lot like Yondu, or they had indeed crossed the wormhole and ended up in a parallel universe where he was a junkie hobo who lived with his new friend Rick and took money from arrogant strangers wearing expensive suits.

None of the above pleased Peter. Not in the slightest. He needed to find out, for once and for all, what was really going on.

Yondu was clueless so asking him was a waste of time. That Stark guy seemed to know him though, but Peter had no idea who he was or where to find him so that was just as useless…Damn it!

Peter Quill already hated that universe. He, a Guardian of the Galaxy, better yet, the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy, a Celestial, capable of holding an Infinity Stone in his bare hands (do you have any idea how hard that is?), a funny, good-looking guy with a six-pack and strong arms reduced to a mere homeless person? What was it with that universe? Turn everything upside down and have fun at his expense? He was glad someone was finding that funny because he certainly wasn't. Well, maybe when things got back to normal where he was the leader of the Guardians, part Celestial, funny, good-looking guy again he could find that funny. But in that moment, it was NOT funny. At all. Screw you, parallel universe!

Peter decided that he should do something. If he found himself in that predicament, how would his friends be holding up? He had to find them and together come up with a plan to go back home.

Quill stood up, throwing the pile of filthy blankets he shared with Rick away (okay, that was a weird sentence). His clothes were a mess but at least they didn't stand out from the rest. He looked horrible! Alright Peter, calm down. Take deep breaths…

And it was repeating that mantra and taking deep breaths that Peter started to walk aimlessly. He crossed a street. Then another, when he was suddenly cut off by a taxi driver who cursed him in a language he had never heard of…And that smell again! A delicious smell that triggered a memory long ago buried in him. Peter inhaled deeply.

There, a few feet away, there was a hot dog stand. A woman held the hand of her five(ish)-year-old son whose eyes were of pure craving. The amazing smell of steaming sausages being served on beautifully soft sliced buns were all that took to invite Peter for a trip down memory lane…

"Do you want some mustard on it?" the guy asked already holding the yellow condiment over the sausage.

"No, thank you." A soft voice said and smiled. "He finds it too bitter." And looked at a five(ish)-year-old Peter. "I think it's because he's too sweet." The woman concluded and handed the hot dog (mustard-free) to her son whose eyes were of pure craving.

But little did she know that what he really craved was to spend the next few hours in her company. Sitting on a bench in the park, listening to her favorite songs, laughing and hearing her call him Star-Lord…Oh, how much he loved when she called him…

"Hey, asshole!" a very irritated male voice dragged Peter back to reality. "Are you gonna move or stand there blocking the way?" Quill moved away slowly, still hazy by the past.

Why did he have to end up on Earth, of all places? Being a hobo he could get over. The fact he was getting tips from arrogant guys was also bearable. He could even deal with Yondu's name being actually Rick…but not Earth!

There was a reason why he had never returned. Earth had scents he didn't want to smell, sounds he didn't want to hear, memories he wished he didn't have…memories that reminded him of all the sadness still left inside. He hated Earth more than he hated that stupid parallel universe. He had to get out of there immediately. But how would he do that, exactly?

And just as if the universe (even after being called names) had heard his silent prayers, a page ripped out of a newspaper flew to Peter and fell on his feet, begging to be noticed.

Quill blinked a couple of times. It wasn't the first time in the past hour he found himself in complete shock, so what the hell? He took the page and looked at it up close. He needed to be sure. And a few seconds later:

"WHAT THE F***!?"

TO BE CONTINUED...