A/N: Surprise, another early update. This story is really picking up steam...in my head. lol. I hope I can continue to keep up with it and continue to give you all surprise updates. There is more angst that I originally thought in this chapter but I promise our ladies will not be thwarted by anything. Enjoy! And please keep following, favoriting, and reviewing. They really do make my day!
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Jane somehow managed to survive the day. She made sure she was never sitting down for more than a few minutes at a time but this meant that by the time quitting time came along, she was beat. Jane had purposely avoided Maura all day, not wanting to give Maura the satisfaction of seeing her handiwork. Despite the amazing turn their relationship had taken, Jane was still Jane, and Jane had her pride.
Jane wanted to avoid Maura so much that she almost considered going back to her place instead of over to Maura's as had become her habit. Almost. Jane knew that would bring an entirely new level of trouble onto her and she just couldn't stomach the thought of that right now. Besides, Jane started to realize that there wasn't very much of her stuff at her place anymore anyway. Sure, there was furniture and and some clothes she didn't really wear that often but nothing substantial was there anymore. Have I started moving into Maura's? Jane asked herself. And like a ton of bricks being dropped right on her head, Jane came to a stark realization: Jane had moved into Maura's house.
Jane started having a mini panic attack. Things were moving way too fast. I mean, they had just started dating and being intimate and already she was living with her girlfriend who no one else even knew she had?! Jane tried to take a breath but found herself starting to get dizzy. She rushed to the ladies' room and splashed some cold water on her face. Looking at herself in the mirror, Jane started to take stock.
The image looking back at her looked like Jane. Or at least like the Jane that always stared back at her. Except there were some new laugh lines on her face, lines that hadn't been there just a few months ago. Lines that could only have appeared if she was laughing and smiling more often. And the only thing that changed in the last few months to cause those lines was Maura. More specifically, her new, wonderful, scary as fuck relationship with Doctor Maura Isles.
Jane let out her breath in a very unladylike way. It was undeniable. Maura made her happy. Living with her doctor made her happy, even with the little bumps along the way. Maybe she should talk to Maura about making it official. What? Where had that thought come from? Did she really have to have a grown-up conversation?
They hadn't really been doing too much talking. Ever since their first time together, when Jane and Maura were alone, they had been fully exploring this new facet to their relationship and not a lot of words had been exchanged unless it involved picking a new activity to try in their play. Jane thought that their actions spoke for themselves, but after last night, when Jane had struggled with herself as Maura punished her, maybe they needed to do a little more talking. But it was just so hard, because once the door closed to the house, it was almost impossible for Jane to keep her hands off the incredible body that belonged to Doctor Maura Isles.
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Maura got home before Jane for not the first time but this time it made Maura angry. Jane had been avoiding her all day, almost completely ignoring her. Maura had sent Jane texts throughout the day and had only received one word answers. It had infuriated Maura. She had only been able to calm herself by planning more punishments for her insolent detective.
As Maura was changing out of her work clothes, getting more comfortable, she heard her front door open and shut. Steeling herself to face Jane, Maura squared her shoulders and made her way back downstairs.
"Jane." Maura said a little sharper than she had intended. "Maur." Jane replied hesitantly.
"Busy day?" Maura asked with a little more tact but still with a stiffness that she had stopped using around Jane years ago.
"Yeah. Ran myself ragged. Tired and a little sore. I think I am going to go take a hot shower to try to loosen up a bit" Jane said as she tried to walk past Maura who was still on the last step blocking Jane's path. Maura didn't budge. "Maur, can I get past? I really need to get this day off of me" Jane said, slightly pleading.
"In regards to that, Jane, we need to talk" Maura stated with full authority in her voice, not allowing Jane a way out of what needed to be done.
"Do we have to?" Jane whined. "Really, I just need a hot shower and to lay down" Jane continued to whine and slowly tried to sidestep the doctor.
"No, Jane, we need to talk now. This has to do with today and last night" Maura said with finality. She held Jane's eyes in a steady look and held her ground on the stairs.
"Mauuuur, if I could carry you, I would right now and show you just what this is doing to me, but I can barely lift my own arms" Jane said pathetically. "Babe, please, can we talk later?"
Maura thought about taking pity on her clearly exhausted detective but knew that if she gave in now, Jane would just find another way to get out of the talk that was becoming more and more apparent that they desperately needed to have.
Maura stepped to the side and leaned against the wall. Jane was about to walk by when Maura reached out and grabbed her arm gently and said "we will talk in the shower" and more forcefully, grabbed Jane's hand and started dragging her to the large walk-in shower that she loved.
Jane groaned but allowed herself to be dragged along. When they got to the bathroom, Maura turned around and with no room for argument said "I am going to undress you and then you have five minutes alone time in the shower. After that, I am coming in and we are going to talk." With that, Maura slowly started undressing Jane. As she did, she finally noticed just how gingerly Jane was reacting to the tugging of her clothing. To test her theory, Maura pushed Jane's jacket down a little rougher than she would normally and a tiny "ompf" escaped Jane before she could control herself.
"Jane!" Maura said with pure concern in her voice. Jane wouldn't look her in the eyes. Maura felt a wave of nausea hit her. Had she really hurt Jane last night? Maura now, much more slowly and delicately, continued to undress Jane, trying to catch her eye, but Jane continued to avoid her. As Maura revealed more and more of Jane, the feeling of nausea increased. Maura started to see up close more of her handiwork from last night. And it was startling.
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Jane couldn't look at Maura. She knew what Maura saw and she didn't want to see it register on her beautiful doctor's face. Jane was covered in bruises and even some welts. She had managed to hide them with clothing well before Maura got up this morning. Jane had pointedly avoided their morning shower together with a lame excuse about needing to get to the precinct early. As the day had gone on, she had started to feel her skin tightening around the worst areas and she knew that she had to look awful. Jane didn't want to see the disappointment, anger, but especially the hurt on Maura's face when she saw the state of Jane's body.
One of the main reasons Jane had been avoiding Maura was because she didn't want her beloved doctor to know just how much she had hurt Jane. Jane knew that would crush Maura. As rough as they had gotten with each other over the last few months, they had never really hurt one another. Jane's dominance wasn't about causing pain to Maura and Maura didn't seem to particularly want Jane to do that. Jane displayed her dominance mostly in ways that she could fully restrain Maura. Jane loved the feeling of having Maura completely at her bidding. Jane had gotten creative with all the ways she could truly dominate the dominant doctor without so much as leaving a mark.
Maura, on the other hand, seemed to like more traditional dominant behavior that involved actively punishing Jane, usually through spanking, flogging, and other tactile things. Maura rarely used restraints unless Jane was being super naughty. Jane hadn't thought she would enjoy it but it did unleash a certain submissive side of Jane she never knew she had and the joy it brought Maura turned Jane on to no end.
The issue, Jane was starting to realize, was that they hadn't really talked about any of it. They had just looked started doing it. They would look at different things together online and when something struck their fancy, one of them would point and the other one would nod a yes or no. So far, everything had been a lot of yes. Aside from a safeword, they hadn't really established any rules or gotten to know what hard limits each person had.
Jane couldn't avoid looking at Maura any longer when she heard a muffled sniffle. Looking up, Jane was staring into the tear stained face of her lovely doctor. It broke Jane's heart.
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Maura was devastated. Never in her wildest dreams would she have thought she could do something like this to the one person she loved most in the world. How could she have missed this? During her aftercare last night, Jane had seemed a little more sore than usual but not enough to make Maura think this is what the result would be. She let out a sob. How could Maura call herself a doctor? The oath for a doctor even states first do no harm. And Maura added, especially to the one you love!
As Maura continued to sob, she felt strong arms gather her up. She started to grab on to the warm body she knew so well, but then heard a small whimper. Remembering why she was crying to begin with, Maura started to push Jane away gently. She didn't deserve to be comforted after what she did.
"Babe, come here please. Just don't squeeze so hard. I want to hold you" Jane pleaded. Maura looked up and saw so much love and concern in the deep brown eyes of her detective and couldn't resist.
This time, more carefully, she allowed Jane to pull her close and she sobbed into Jane's shoulder. "I'm so sorry, Jane" she struggled to get out in between sobs. "I didn't realize...I should have known.." Maura continued to gasp out.
"Babe, I should have known too. It is my responsibility to use the safeword. That is what it's there for. I was being stubborn" Jane whispered into Maura's ear. Feeling Jane's hot breath on her ear and the warm arms holding her close made Maura feel guilty. She didn't deserve this. Not Jane's love, let alone her comfort.
Maura began to struggle against Jane, but Jane just held on tighter. "Maura Dorthea Isles. Stop. I need to do this and you are hurting me by struggling. Just stop and let me love you" Jane said as she placed gentle kisses all over Maura's head and forehead. "Please just let me love you."
Maura stopped fighting but let out an even bigger sob. Jane loved her. Even after all she had put her through last night. Jane still loved her.
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Jane started to slowly undress Maura. After a brief struggle, Jane successfully removed Maura's loose shirt and yoga pants. Jane internally chuckled at the lack of bra or underwear. Her doctor was always surprising her with just how naughty she could be. Jane managed to remove the rest of her clothes and slowly with Maura still in her arms, got them into the shower.
"Babe, I was serious about that shower. I am going to start it up and I want you to let me lead, okay" Jane said quietly. Receiving a short nod in her shoulder, Jane proceeded and got them into the warm stream. Immediately she felt herself relax, and made sure to ease Maura into the steam as well.
"Doesn't this feel good, babe? You and me in this ridiculous shower you installed" Jane said with a small smirk. That got a tiny snort from Maura. "I heard that" Jane laughed.
"It's not ridiculous. It is the top of the line, state of the art shower that…" Maura mumbled against Jane's shoulder but was cut off when Jane took her chin into her hands and slowly kissed Maura on her full lips.
"No google babe. I just want my sexy, caring doctor right now." Jane started to rub body wash all over Maura and slowly began to massage the skin she touched. "Maura, I agree we need to talk, but I need you to be able to hear me. Are you listening to me?" Jane asked when she heard a small groan from the doctor.
"Mmmhmm" was all she got. Jane shook her head. Maura was such a sucker for Jane's massages. Must be the magic hands, Jane thought with a giggle.
"I know you would never knowingly hurt me. Things got out of hand last night but I am more to blame than you." Jane said and before Maura could argue, Jane rushed on "No, you don't to get to disagree with me. Yes, you were in control but we both know I am no submissive. If I wanted to stop you, all I had to do was say one word. I chose not to out of some weird sense of pride and look what it caused. I am sorry that I betrayed your trust."
Maura looked up in shock. Jane saw the puzzled look coming over Maura's face and said, "I did some reading today and we really should have had more discussions before we went full tilt at this." Maura let out a snort. "Yeah, I know, since when am I the levelheaded one, right? Well, Doctor Isles, you make me want to be better. And I failed you last night, not the other way around" Jane said as she slowly kissed Maura again.
"Let's call this a very painful learning experience for both of us." Jane said with a slight shrug that caused her to grimace a bit. "Now, I know this might sound ridiculous right now, given everything, but you look so beautiful right now. Can we please have make up sex?" Jane asked with her best Rizzoli grin.
Maura's eyes widened again but this time for very different reasons. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli! You cannot be serious? Right now?!" Maura asked incredulously.
"What can I say doc, I always want you, even when I can barely move" Jane said with a chuckle and a quick peck to Maura's lips. "So" she continued, peppering soft kisses along Maura's jawline, "obviously, you're going to have to do most of the work" Jane said with a sly grin. Maura went to hit Jane on the shoulder, but at the last minute remembered her poor battered detective's body and instead, gave Jane a shy but still wicked smile and said very cheekily, "as you wish."