Hello sinners, welcome back to another chapter. Last time, the gang fought off with lesser demons and Charlie fought against a monster of a demon created by Mundus known as "Night Terror" and defeated it. Now, she is racing to help the others, and Dante to beat Mundus. Now let's get into some Q&As.
Redraveniskira007 & Red Dusk 369: It's the first wave, I am gonna add more of the other demons later. I didn't get the chance to show the terror of what is happening besides the Hazbin group, the Morningstars, and I.M.P. As for Charlie getting a "power up" because of Sparda. I needed an excuse for her to deliver the sword, needed or not. I'm trying to make things interesting.
Clown2107: Thank you for the defense. Yes, the demon Charlie did face is an upgraded version of Nightmare from Devil May Cry 1 and is similar to one of V's familiars. As for the Devil Arms, you have to read and find out.
54godamora: He will unleash his abilities like Quicksilver and Doppelganger. I'm gonna try and use the weapons he has now. Also Nice song choices.
Guest: Nice idea but like you said he doesn't really need it in he has Devil Trigger.
Exodia(Guest): Nero is not part of this fic, sorry to disappoint you.
DevilNeverCry: Read and find out.
Dragon Blaze X: Not my first choice in a song but that fits an air battle.
Now, let's dive into Hell!
Mission 22: Don't Touch That Dial
"We interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement," Tom Trench from the 666 News announced. "Terror is raging within Pentagram City. Sinners and Hellborn are being attacked by what the public can describe as wildcats made of shadows, lizards that are made of ice, floating demons that looked to be Jack the Ripper, grim reapers, and much much more."
"You got that right Tom, like these beings popped out of nowhere and starting to eat or tear everyone into sushi," Caroline Clamper said to her fellow anchorman. "Demons are panicking into the streets like Extermination Day came early. Only this time, it's a lot gorier and there's a lot more destruction. I hope my favorite stores are untouched."
"Hon, I think those things don't give a shit," Tom said aloud. "Anyway, we have Jim on the hellchopper right above where some of the destruction is taking place, Jim?"
"Tom, I'm in the chopper now looking down the west side of the city where a massive swarm of those monsters are attacking," announced a demon that resembled a bird of some kind. "Cherri Bomb is attempting to defend her territory by any means necessary," he added before a bomb was launched at a demon in the background, causing an explosion to shake the vehicle. "SHIT! Get us higher, fucktard," he shouted to the pilot as they flew higher to the ground. "We still don't know where these things come from Tom, but they aren't stopping anytime soon."
As the news crew captured and reported the carnage, some Blood-goyles spotted the helicopter and attacked it. The pilot tried to avoid the coming demons, but they scraped the propeller and a loud alarm was heard. "We're going down!"
"No wait, this was supposed to be my big break! We have to keep her stead-" Jim started to say just before the chopper went down and the only thing seen on the screen was static.
"Jim?! Are you there," Tom asked as he tried to get communications back on. "Well, I'm sorry to say this folks, but Jim's dead."
"First day on the job, too. That sucks," Caroline remarked. "We'll be right back after we board up the station and try not to die," she said as the screen changed to technicolor bars.
In a nearby shop, televisions in the window had all of their screens the same way, showing they were just showing the news. Shortly after, a demon was thrown back, destroying the store and the TVs that were on the display. Stepping forward while tossing an unlit explosive in her hand was Cherri Bomb herself, ready to keep fighting anyone or anything that was a threat to her turf. "I don't know who you fuckers are, but you stepped into the wrong territory," she said while eyeing the Prides, Enigmas, Frosts, Blades, Assaults, Mephisto & Faust that began surrounding her. "So which one of you bastards is next," Cherri asked the many demons that were around her approached.
The first ones to attack were a couple of Blades, who charged at the cyclops just before she threw some of her bombs at them. The lizard demons dodged by starting to climb off nearby buildings avoiding the small explosives with ease before they slashed Cherri Bomb, grazing her and ripping parts of her shirt. Cherri hissed at the bloody claw marks those things left on her abdomen. The cuts weren't too deep but it was still enough to pierce her skin and bleed. One of the Blades tried to approach her as its talons were clicking onto the concrete.
The Blade made a jump towards the cyclops, ready to sink its teeth into her flesh. Cherri countered it as she shoved one of her explosives into its mouth, pinning its jaw open before she pushed the bomb down into its throat. Pulling her arm back out in time, she watched the Blades' head explode in front of her with its body wailing around until it dropped dead. The other Blades looked down at their comrade's dead body, hissing at the cyclops as they approached her.
"Come on, you bastards! I'll take you all on. Maybe I'll get myself a new belt while I'm at it," Cherri smirked while holding a handful of bombs. A Frost approached as it shot out its claws at the one-eyed demon, making her dodge out of the way and throw some bombs toward it. However, the monsters started to avoid the attacks and one Blade even threw the explosive back at her. Cherri jumped out of the way of her explosive just before she felt something piercing her shoulder. Looking at where she landed, she saw that an icicle was sticking out from the ground and she hissed before reaching for the ice in her arm. But as she touched it, she cried out in pain as the spike was icy. "Fuck, this hurts," she cursed as she tried to fight back with her useful arm, but was knocked back by an Assault. Coughing up some blood, Cherri leaned back on the wall where she got hit back from. 'Shit, I overestimated them. Looks like I'm gonna have to blow them all away,' Cherri thought to herself as she was ready to use one of her strongest explosives yet. The two Blades approached her alongside the Assaults and Frosts while the Enigmas were standing behind them and preparing arrows.
As the cyclops was going to perform what was her final attack, gunfire sounded off from the distance behind her before the Blades attacking dropped dead and evaporated. The minions of Mundus looked behind Cherri just in time to see Dante, Vaggie, Angel Dust, and several others from the hotel had arrived.
"Hey, shitheads! That's my gal pal you're trying to kill there," Angel shouted as he fired his Tommy gun at the demons. Being under fire, the Blades and Assaults crawled onto the walls of the nearby building to avoid the bullets. The Frost took the attacks head-on because of the thick layer of ice on their bodies giving them more protection. "What the fuck?! What are these things made out of?"
"Who gives a shit! The main thing is that we destroy these things as fast as possible," Cruiser said as he drove his motorcycle at many Prides, hitting them with his baseball bat and revving up the engine as he left tire marks on one's face and jumping it to the next one. The greaser's fun came to an end when the Enigmas fired their energy bolts at him. Cruiser tried to swerve out of the way but an attack hit the engine of the bike, making him jump off it as it exploded killing many of Mundus's minions along with it. "Okay, that shitty demon lord owes me a new set of wheels when this is over," he said angrily as Franky shared the same expression as his master.
"That is if we are not accepted into Heaven anytime soon. I mean, those successful cases happened because of big fights like this," Bullet commented as he jumped past some of the oncoming energy bolts that the Enigmas were firing off. The hellhound zigzagged past the magic bolts before he jumped onto one of the Enigmas and ripped it apart with just his teeth.
"Cherri, are you still with me," Angel asked his friend as rushed over to her and saw the damage. "Hold still, I'm gonna pull that thing out of you," he said as he revealed his extra set of arms. With some more leverage, he was able to free Cherri from the icicle she was stuck in before Lechuza landed beside them. "Hey, Owl Lady. Can you help out with this?"
"Just a sec," the harpy said before her talons began to glow a faint blue and used healing magic to seal up the wound on Cherri Bomb's shoulder. "That should do the trick."
"Thanks. I owe you guys one," Cherri said as she started to help out the Hellhound with killing the Enigmas.
"You go, Sugartits," Angel Dust shouted as he got slashed by a Blade, cutting his leg. "Eh Oh! Watch the merchandise," he shouted as he started to fire upon the lizard demons. As Angel was firing lead at the Blades, Dante and Vaggie worked together to slash apart the demons that made up what the Son of Sparda called 'The 7 Hells'.
"Try and keep up with me, Vags," Dante joked as he cut down a Pride and Wrath.
"Oh, don't you worry about me," Vaggie retorted as she stabbed an Envy through the face. "These assholes are nothing compared to the other assholes I deal with every day," she bragged while throwing some knives at some Gluttony demons.
Dante fired upon the Mephistos & Fausts that surrounded him, only to have their shadowy cloaks ripped out from them and sliced into pieces. "How are you holding up, Smiles?"
"My dear boy, I am having the time of my life," Alastor laughed as his bloody shadow tendrils wrapped around any demons that came close to him. "I have to say, Dante. This has got to be your best performance yet."
"Don't get ahead of yourself just yet. This is only the first act," Dante told the Radio Demon as he sliced up a Lust with Dread.
"Anyone want to fill me in on what the fuck these guys are and why they are attacking everything in Hell," Cherri asked the group as she tried to take out some Wraths that ended with a chain explosion.
"Alright, Toots, I'll lay it down for you," Angel Dust said as he got out of the way of an incoming Mephistos, shooting its finger. "Basically, this demon lord that Dante imprisoned and the big man put in a super jail got freed by the TV shithead that sucked my former boss's dick. After that, he took over his building and made all these bitches. So now, we're fighting our way to kill them."
"Well, shit… a demon so strong you had to bring these bastards along," Cherri said throwing more bombs. "If you're going after this demon yourself, count me in! The motherfucker messed up my turf," she said throwing more bombs at the lesser demons. "Who's the shithead?"
"Mundus," Dante told her as the cyclops threw a bomb so far that it destroyed the demons surrounding a building.
"Mundus!? That three-eyed bastard got free," Cherri asked in a surprised tone. "Didn't you kill him because your old man couldn't?"
"That was Argosax," Dante corrected her as he fought off against a ton of Blades and Assaults. "I sealed Mundus like dad did 10 years ago and Lucifer imprisoned him. But this time, I'm not making that mistake again."
"Need some help, my dear boy," Alastor offered as he only lifted a finger to impale the various monsters with shadowy spikes.
"I'm good against the big bad evil guy, but I think Terry and the others might need some help," Dante pointed as the minotaur was being attacked by Shadows.
"Get these cats off me!"
"Yeah! The only pussy he needs is a cow's," Angel commented as the Shadows slashed at his chest fluff, cutting it down and making his jacket sag. "Oh, you shits are in for it now!" The spider demon held out a shotgun in his extra arms, firing that and his Tommy gun at the same time. "You pieces of shit messed with the wrong spider!"
"This has got to be the first time I have seen Angel this angry before," Cherri commented as she heard the noise of a honking sound. Everyone then turned to see a black van speeding in and playing 'Mustang Dong'. Machine gun fire was seen as Blizto was behind the wheel running over all the demons in his way.
The van pulled out to the side as Loona slid open the door and fired a submachine gun. "Die, you motherfuckers," she yelled as she fired upon the Frosts that were firing ice spikes at the van. The female hellhound eyed the Demon Hunter as she reloaded her gun. "What are you waiting for, get in!"
"It'll be a lot faster," Dante said as he put away his dual pistols and called to the others before jumping into the van. "Hey, guys! We're heading out! Get in!"
"Don't have to tell me twice," Bullet commented as he, Terry, Cruiser, Vaggie, Angel, and Cherri jumped into the car. Lechuza flew above and landed on the hood of the thing as Alastor jumped on the black van and stood on the back of the roof. "Floor it!"
"Flooring," Blitzo said as he pressed the gas hard as the van sped through the streets running over Mundus creations as possible. As the group sped away, Alastor stood peacefully on the moving vehicle as if he was unaffected by it. "Everyone cozy back there," Blitzo asked casually as he turned around to see everyone crammed together like a can of sardines.
"Whoever's hand is on my ass, you have five seconds to let go before you lose it," Loona growled.
"Sorry," Bullet apologized.
"Alright, kids. Hold on tight because we're going- Wait, where are we going," the former circus imp asked.
"Vox's cable tower. East of here," Angel said as he pushed up front and gave the imp directions.
At Vox's Tower
The television demon was checking the security monitors of the building as he grumbled to himself. "Kicks me out of my office so he can get back to full power," Vox muttered as he kept looking at the outer perimeter. "I'm the one who planned to free him in the first place. If it weren't for me, he would still be rotting in jail." After a few minutes of cycling the feeds on the cameras and muttering to himself, a large crash was heard from the inside of the building followed by gunfire. Vox felt a disturbing yet familiar presence inside the building as he selected the lobby's security camera and gave a grin that could rival the Radio Demon. "Well, at least I have some stress relief," Vox chuckled.
In the lobby, Dante and the others jumped out of the van and gunned down any of Mundus' lackeys that were inside the building. "Did you have to crash through the front door, sir," questioned Moxxie.
"No, but this was more fun," Blitzo said with a smile.
"Fair enough," Moxxie said as he pulled out a crossbow.
"Less talking and more killing," Millie said excitedly as she grabbed her ax, chopping down minions in half.
"She's speaking my kind of language," Dante spun his sword in his hands like a buzzsaw towards a Shadow that nearly pounced on him.
After a few seconds, the lobby was cleared and everyone took a breather. "Okay, we have to get to the top floor. But given that fucking awesome crash, I think they know we're here," Cherri Bomb stated.
"To the elevator," Blitzo yelled.
"Aren't they gonna predict that and kill us in a small space," Lechuza said.
"And climb 100 floors or more in stairs? I think not! Does this look like a video game to you," Blitzo asked the owl lady.
"It's not so bad. It's running down the side of the building and catching on fire that's the real issue," Dante remarked.
"At least imps are naturally fireproof," Terry commented.
"Yeah, normal human flames. Hellfire from somebody like Mundus can cook us like a hog at a BBQ," Millie commented. "I say we take the first ten floors on foot rather than the elevator."
"Better than taking either or," Dante commented as he was the first to climb up the stairs.
Watching the rest follow Dante on the screen, Vox spoke to himself. "So they think they can get to the tenth floor, huh? Well, I'll be meeting with them on that exact floor. I wanted to test out my newest toy anyway."
The gang soon fought their way up to the ninth floor before seeing the Sin Scissors and Scythes guarding the way up. "Seriously? He put guards by the stairs," Terry asked out loud as the ghostly demons cut him with their giant pair of scissors.
"I know I needed a trimming, but this is ridiculous," Loona said as a dodged, only to have a few of her silver locks cut. The female hellhound growled as she took one of Blitzo's guns and fired it on the ghostly demon who protected themselves with their weapons.
"Whoa, that's kinda hot," Bullet said as he wagged his tail, which Blitzo then stepped on.
"Focus, Fido. We have to disarm those things before they try to circumcise all of us," Blitzo said with clenched teeth. "Well, maybe everyone except Moxxie because he got his done."
"Very mature, sir," Moxxie yelled at the taller imp as he shot at the demonic beings with the help of his wife, boss, and the Demon Slayer. The demons soon watched as their scythes and scissors were disarmed and they were left open. The three imps, two hellhounds, and Dante immediately fired upon the cloaked demons and the bullets tore them to shreds.
"Let's not waste any more time," Dante said as he ran ahead of the group, ascending to the tenth floor. Once there, they kicked down the door to the main hall of the floor as they saw it was dark with only a lot of TVs hanging on the walls as they pass by.
"Why do I get the feeling something bad is going to happen," Loona asked more to herself than to the entire group.
"I think that line has been said too many times already, my dear," the voice of Vox said as his face popped out of one of the television screens. The sudden appearance of the TV Demon made some of the group jumps back in surprise while Alastor and Dante were the ones that keep an unfazed reaction. Seeing the two, the TV demon had his eyes on the Demon Hunter. "So, we finally meet face to face Son of Sparda, though I have to admit, I expect you to be a lot scruffier."
"And you must be the walking boob tube that Smiles told me about. I actually expected you to be a lot taller, but I guess the flatscreen for a head makes up for the room," Dante joked as he made some of the others chuckle including the Radio Demon.
Vox growled as he obviously did not find the joke to be amusing. "Crack all the jokes you can make. Pretty soon, you will all be dead."
"Yeah, I don't think so. It's going to take a lot to kill me, so I doubt you'll put up much of a fight," Dante said as he shoved his hands in his pockets. "Your moth buddy didn't exactly do much to me when we fought. Plus, I think all those hired guns you wasted were much tougher than you."
"I would rather not get my hands dirty directly. But you are all just in time fo-" A stray bullet hits the screen as it came out from Blitzo.
"What? He was getting annoying," Blitzo said to everyone else.
"-my new invention," Vox continued as he popped up on another screen. "And honestly, didn't you expect that to work when I can be everywhere," the Overlord retorted as images of his appearance on every screen in the room.
"Eh. I figured it would be one way to shut you up," Blitzo admitted as he shot another screen with his flintlock.
"You know it's pointless to shoot at the screens. Just a waste of bullets," Vox laughed at the imp.
"Too bad for you that mine doesn't run out," Dante told the television demon as he shot Ebony & Ivory at all the screens on the wall.
"No wonder the others fell to you. Your skills are legendary," Vox stated as he appeared in one of the broken televisions in front of them. "But I think I said enough. I wanted to test out a new toy of mine. They say that a good show can really suck you into it," he said, showing he had a demonic-looking remote in his hand and pointed it to Dante as a push of the button sent a bolt of blue lightning towards him. After the Son of Sparda was struck by the electric attack, he vanished from sight.
"What the fuck!? What did you do, you walking monitor," Angel asked before he got zapped too and disappeared.
"Angie," Cherri screamed as she was the next one to disappear. Soon, almost the entire group got zapped and disappeared until it was Vox and Alastor in the room.
"How do you like it, Alastor? My newest invention," Vox asked his rival as he grinned.
"Not very amusing if you ask me. Mere child's play," Alastor said as he folded his hands behind his back as his eyelids lowered in a deadpan look. "And I refuse to believe you killed them all with that little toy of yours. So where are they?"
"Don't you worry about that, Radio Demon. You'll be joining them soon," Vox said as he pointed the remote towards the Radio Demon as the blue lightning shot at him. Unfortunately for Vox, the sound of a radio changing channels was heard and the blast turned red before fading away.
"Did you really think something like that would affect me," Alastor told his rival with a chuckle as his pupils turned into radio dials and demonic symbols began to float around him.
"Truthfully, I thought it would," Vox said as he was disappointed that he couldn't one-up his rival. "I guess we will have to do this the old fashion way," he declared as the remote produced a blade of light and electricity.
"Ugh… what happened," Dante said as he got up and saw that he was in a dark room. "Vaggie? Angel? Alastor? Cherri? Anyone?" The door to the room opened as multiple men in suits entered with one man with salt & pepper hair and a scar entering the room.
"Alright, where is it," the man asked with scorn. "Where the fuck is my diamond!?"
"Whoa, hold the phone. First off, I don't know you. Second, what diamond?"
"The diamond you stole! Now hand it over before I tell my men to turn you into Swiss cheese," the man said as he snapped his fingers as the goons took out their guns and aimed them at the Demon Hunter.
'This actually reminds me of a scene from a mafia movie. Wait a minute, this might be from a movie,' the Demon Hunter thought to himself before he noticed the exact look of the leader was the same as the movie he was thinking of. 'That damn remote the walking monitor had must have transported me to a show. In that case, I don't have to hold back.' Dante realized as he cracked his neck and knuckles, then waved his hand in a 'bring it' gesture.
Seeing the white-haired demon hunter looking confident, the man's face turned bright red with anger. "Fill him with lead, boys!"
The men fired upon the Demon Hunter, but as they did, he used his Royal Guard style as the bullets bounced off of him and dropped down to the floor. The men halted their fire as they saw that not a single bullet went through him. Dante rushed to a couple of men as he sucker punched one in the gut and followed up by hitting them in the face. He then roundhouse kicked the poor bastard into his comrades, making them fall down like bowling pins. Just like his fights with Valentino and when using Cerberus, the Demon Hunter then made Kung Fu noises as he punched and kicked many goons that were in his way. When he was finished, he knocked out all of the men except for the boss who had a pistol aimed at the Demon Hunter.
"Stay the fuck away from me, you psycho," the boss said as his hand shook as Dante approached. The Demon Hunter approached the man as he fire the gun in his face, only for the white-haired hunter to catch the bullet with his bare teeth as he spat it out. Panicked, the man dropped the gun and held his hands up. "What the fuck are you?"
"Just a guy," he said before he headbutted the man unconscious. "I wonder if the others got trapped in here as well. Better find the exit to this place soon," he told himself as he went to the doorway and exited, only to pass through a wall of static and step into a cemetery. "Well, I can guess where this is going," he said as he pulled out Redhawk and saw zombies approaching him. "Let's keep this party going."
"And welcome back to Hellscape," announced a demon with pearly white teeth wearing a yellow tux on with a bowtie.
"Where the hell am I," Cherri asked as she looked around to see that she was on some game show, complete with an applauding audience. "Tell me where I am or else I'm blowing this popsicle stand."
"We sure have a firecracker on this episode. Right, folks," the host said as the audience laughed. "All you have to do is answer one question and you win a prize! Are you ready?"
"If I play along, can I leave," Cherri asked as she didn't about the show and just wanted to get back to Angel and the others.
"Alrighty, then. This is your question. Did Dante go by the name Tony Redgrave at some point?"
"Wait, what?" Cherri was stumped as she didn't have any clue what the host meant by that.
"You have ten seconds," the host said as a countdown started.
"How am I supposed to answer a question I don't even know," Cherri shouted.
Suddenly, a buzzer went off and the audience groaned. "Oh, I'm sorry. If you don't know the answer, then you'll need to roll the Punishment Die," the host told Cherri before a glamourous succubus assistant strutted over holding a large six-sided die. "Say with me, everyone."
"Roll The Dice!"
Cherri shrugged in confusion before she threw the cube into the air. As it rolled on the ground, she saw it stop on a six. "Oh, that means you have to face off with a giant owlbear," the host said before bolting for safety with the succubus assistant, making sure to grope her ass as he did.
"Giant owl-what," Cherri questioned before a loud thud sounded off behind her. Turning around, she saw a massive grizzly bear with the face and wings of a great-horned owl. The beast hooted and growled at her before Cherri just smirked and pulled out a grenade launcher. "Just what I needed to vent my anger," she laughed before aiming her weapon. "You'll make a nice rug after I'm through with you!"
"Hang on Moxxie! I'm going into overdrive," Millie told her husband as she was driving a sports car with a bag of money in the back seat as Moxxie was firing his gun at a bunch of cop cars chasing after them.
"How did we get into a chase scene with a giant bag of money," Moxxie asked his wife as he was shooting at the cars and holding on to dear life as his wife was zipping through the lanes.
"Oh come on, sweetie. This is fun," Millie said as she swerved to the right. "We've been in worse situations than this."
"Yeah, I guess you're right," Moxxie couldn't help but smile as this was reminiscent of Bonnie and Clyde. As they gunned down policemen and weaved through traffic, they eventually made a successful escape and reached an old motel. "Okay, we're clear."
"Good. Because that was such a rush," Millie said as she gave her husband a sultry look. One glance at her eyes and Moxxie knew what would happen the second before their lips met and they started removing their clothes.
"Where the fuck am I? Why am I in the quarry," Angel asked himself as he looked around, seeing nothing but a rocky landscape and some heavy machinery around.
"Freeze," a heroic voice called out and the spider demon looked to see five individuals wearing different colors of spandex and helmets.
"Oh wow! Looks like my birthday's here already. I didn't know I was gonna get a foursome," Angel said as he eyed the red, blue, and green masculine individuals. "I'm sure you two can watch. Love the boots, Pink," he told the pink and yellow feminine ones.
"We are here to end your tyranny once and for all," the red one said as he gestured dramatically.
"I just got here," Angel complained.
"Get ready, everyone," the blue character said as he pulled out blue daggers.
"Look, if it's something I said then-" Angel Dust started to say, but was hit by the multiple weapons as sparks flew off of his body. "Hey, that hurt! What was with the sparks, though? Doesn't matter! You wanna play rough, we'll play rough," he shouted as he took out his shotgun and hit the green one. As he shot him, instead of blood and intestines, sparks came out and he fell backward. "What the fuck just happened!?"
"Careful, guys. He's got strong weapons," the green-clad fighter said.
"So do we," the woman in yellow said before firing at him with a sort of laser pistol.
Angel was shot again and more sparks flew all over the place. The spider demon was huffing as he took out his extra pair of arms and brought out his Tommy guns. He started to shoot at them all, causing sparks to fly off the five fighters. As he did, all of them jumped forward as if they got injured.
"Is everyone alright," the red-clad warrior asked his team as they moaned on the ground.
"Yeah, we're fine. We need to attack him together," the woman in pink said as she and her team started to get back up. They each took out their own individual weapons and they started to hit the spider demon with them. Angel grunted in pain as sparks flew off his body.
"Let's finish this, team! Combine weapons," the red-clad fighter said as the team agreed and they combined all of their weapons into a large bazooka-like weapon.
"Wait! Can't we just talk this over," Angel asked as he put away his weapons and held his hands up in surrender.
"Fire!"
The group fired the blaster at Angel as the spider demon could do nothing but cover his face from the oncoming attack. "AAAAAAHH," he screamed as he could do nothing but meet his fate. When he didn't feel a fiery double death overwhelm him, Angel opened his eyes and saw that he wasn't in the quarry anymore. "The fuck just happened? Well, that's the last time I make fun of spandex," he told himself as he looked around and saw static everywhere. "Where am I this time," the former porn star asked before he saw he was transported into a house environment.
"Honey, there's a spider in the bathroom," a woman said while she had nothing but a towel on.
"Well, why don't you just kill it," a man yelled from downstairs.
"Can I suck your dick if I kill her instead," Angel asked as a burst of audience laughter.
"Avast, maties! This treasure be mine now," Blitzo exclaimed with a pirate voice, laughing as he swung a cutlass in his hand and carried a bag of gold in the other. Fending off as many pirates as he could, he blocked blow after blow before he switched his sword for his flintlock pistol and shot at them. "I'm reliving my childhood fantasy right now," he laughed as he swung on a piece of rope to another ship. "With this much loot, I could get Loona a brand new collar and maybe an actual horse I can ride whenever I want."
Cannon fire sailed passed him as the ship he was on before was blasted by the enemy vessel. "Get that bilge rat," shouted the captain that was just robbed by the former circus star.
"You stupid fucks won't be able to," Blitzo cackled. "So suck my nuts and lick my taint," he shouted before landing on the second ship and slamming the bag of gold into the head of the closest sailor. "Now to get out of this fantasy with all this shit," the former circus imp told himself before static changed his scenario along with the bag of gold. "Oh, for fuck's sake! I needed that!"
Blitzo grumbled as he was in some classroom. "What is this? Some high school program or something," the imp grumbled before he heard a cheerful laugh behind him.
"Hehehe. Hiya, new friend! You wanna play pretend," a large childish-looking dinosaur said as Blitzo turned around.
Seeing the giant children's toy, Blitzo aimed his flintlock and frowned when he heard a useless clicking sound. The Imp let loose a girlish scream as the dinosaur came in for a hug.
"I can't believe my eyes, Jim! This kid is ramming through all the other players and is going for a touchdown," a sports announcer said as he watched Terry plow through an entire football team. "Touchdown for the Bulls!"
"Why won't you love me, Alejandro," Gabriela asked Dante with mascara running down her tearful face.
"First off, I'm not Alejandro. Second reason is that my heart belongs to another," the Demon Hunter said dramatically with the sound of castanets at the end.
"He speak the truth for I, your evil half-sister Lechuza, have witnessed it first hand," the harpy said as a guitar was heard at the end of her line as she entered through the front door.
"Is this really necessary," Vaggie said as she looked bored by the overdramatic scene.
"Just play along with it," Lechuza said through gritted teeth.
"How," Vaggie questioned before the owl harpy gave an answer.
"Slap him and improvise."
Hearing the suggestion, Vaggie grinned as she cracked her knuckles and backhanded Dante's face hard enough to knock him to the floor. "How dare claim my woman for yourself, cabron?! I'll feed your guts to the coyotes when I'm done with you," Vaggie declared as a dramatic music flourish rang out.
"But Vagatha, she approached me first," Dante said as a dramatic gasp escaped from everyone until the channel changed once more. "Did you really have to slap me that hard, Vags?"
"I had to get it out of my system one way or another. Or would you rather me punch you instead?"
"Nah, I think the slap was enough to get your point across," the Demon Hunter told the moth demoness.
"I'm glad you two kids are getting along nicely. But we still need to find the others and get the fuck out of here," the owl harpy said as the channel changed to a setting in the wild west. "Oh great, we landed in a spaghetti western."
"Who doesn't like a good western with Clint Eastwood? Not accurate to the real west, but still entertaining," Dante said as he looked around and saw two familiar hellhounds. "Glad we were able to find you two."
"I should say the same. I was in a commercial with some pet cleaning projects," Bullet said as a flea jumped out of his fur.
"What happened to you," the owl demon asked the hellhound.
"I was in a documentary about a rock band," Loona told Lechuza showing the t-shirt of the band's name. "What about you guys?"
"Before I met up with Dante and Vaggie in a soap opera, I was in this cartoon that had a world of witches and a talking owl-worm-house thing. The witch who owned it was foxy, though. Kinda like me," Lechuza replied with a flip of her feathery hair.
"Right," Loona said as she rolled her eyes. "If we ran into one another, I'm sure we'll run into my shitty imp of a dad, Millie, and Fatty sooner or later." Just as the female hellhound said that, the entire group saw Blitzo riding a brown stallion as it galloped towards them with a farmer shooting at him with a shotgun.
"Get back here, you varmint," the farmer shouted as he was continuously firing shots at the taller imp.
"Looney, I finally found you," Blitzo said with a smile on his face as he dodged as many bullets as possible.
"What the fuck did you do?!" Loona shouted to her imp father as she dodged the coming buckshot while the rest hid from view.
"You either slept with his daughter or that's his horse you're riding," Dante said as he easily dodge bullets while just standing in the middle of the road.
"Get back and face me, you horse thief," the farmer screamed still firing at the larger imp.
"The second," Blitzo said to Dante.
"Really," Loona questioned in a deadpan tone.
"Hey, I was assaulted by a god damn pedophile in a dinosaur costume. So I needed to get my mind off something that I enjoy very much," Blitzo yelled as he took out one of his assault weapons and shot the farmer as many times as he could until the man was dead on the ground. "How you like me now, bitch!? Yeah! Didn't think I could shoot back, did you," the imp yelled to the body before he turned to look at the others. "Alright, now let's go and find, Millie, Moxxie, the gay spider, the cyclops, and that bull."
"You mean Angel, Cherri, and Terry," Bullet said to the imp.
"Don't care about names. Let's just go grab them and find a way out of here," Blitzo said before the channel changed once more and he was dangling in the air off a cliff. "Ah shit," he said about to fall, only to jump on the ledge in time and hang off it.
"I get the feeling that the only way out is to beat TV head," the Demon Hunter theorized. "But the only one of use we didn't see get zapped in was the Radio Demon."
"Being saved by Alastor of all people? UGH! I think I'd rather have the executioners kill me," Vaggie commented as she stuck her tongue out and made fake barfing sounds.
"Well, I would like to get some hard cider in hell rather than flipping into different channels. So if the Radio Demon isn't here, then I really do hope he's finding a way to get us out of here," Lechuza said, hoping to get out of here soon as they try and find the others.
"And now we add the onions to our Possum Soup," a chef said as he instructed the viewers to put onions into his soup. Just as he added the last one in, Moxxie fell out from nowhere and landed in the boiling water. "Oh great, extra possum for flavor."
"I am not a possum," Moxxie yelled at the chief as he tasted a little of the broth. "Not bad though, might need some salt.
"Noted," the chief said as he took some salt and pepper into the stew with Moxxie still in the boiling pot and putting the lid on. "And now we wait."
"Hey, that's my husband you're cooking," Millie screamed in anger as she swung her battle ax at the chief, decapitating him in one blow. She then opened the lid and saw Moxxie still in the soup, not bothered by the heat due to his imp nature. "Moxxie, are you okay?!"
"Yeah, honey. I'm fine," the rodent-looking imp said as he tasted the broth. "I tasted delicious."
"Hmm… needs a little salt," Angel said as he took a sip out of the ladle.
"Where did you come from!?"
"I was in the audience with Cherri over there," the spider sinner pointed as the spunky cyclops waved with a giant fur pelt at her feet and feathers in her hair.
"Is that an owl-bear pelt," Millie asked.
"You bet your sweet imp ass it is! This will look great in my apartment," the cyclops grinned.
Just then, the walls to the kitchen broke as Terry was wrestling a fish monster with large muscles. "Stay down, you bastard," the minotaur yelled, pinning the beast down.
"Hold on, I got this," Moxxie said as he took a knife on the prep area and threw it at the fish, stabbing it through the brain. "That takes care of that," he said as Millie wrapped her arms around him and kissed him.
"When we are done, how about we really get it on," Millie purred.
"Can I watch," Angel grinned.
"Absolutely not! You are just like our boss," Moxxie growled at the spider sinner.
"Well, if he's available, I'll fuck his brains out while she pegs you," Angel said with a large grin on his face. "By the way, did we ever see Al here?"
Back in Hell, flashes of red and blue lightning struck one another as both Alastor and Vox faced each other with their suits were torn and sweat coming off of the other as their smiles were plastered on each other's faces.
"Give it up, Alastor… Your days are numbered… I have you beat in power and audience size," Vox told his rival as he was panting.
"You may be right about the second, but you are nowhere close to my power," Alastor said to his rival.
"Oh really? And what makes you say that," Vox asked curiously as to why the Radio Demon said such a thing.
"My old friend, if you were so much more powerful than me, then you would have killed me in an instant," Alastor commented to the walking screen. "Your own ego has blinded you to the truth."
"And what would that be," Vox growled.
"That you'll never win. As soon as I get bored with this battle, you'll be done for," the Radio Demon said as his eyes turned to radio dials, his mouth changed to a speaker, and his voice distorted in a sinister way. "Your final mistake was letting loose a wild dog you can't control. In fact, he controls you."
"No one controls me, Alastor! I make my own decisions," Vox yelled as his facade was cracking like his face.
"My dear man, if that was true, why are you the first obstacle in our way," Alastor said with his face still holding that large grin of his. "Also your biggest mistake was picking a fight with the Son of Sparda. You know the legends of his father. You should have known he beat the three-eyed demon once before. You know you shouldn't have gone after him because of Valentino's demise."
"I said shut up," Vox yelled as he pointed a divine-looking gun at the Radio Demon, now gaining his confidence back. "My remote may not work on you, but holy weapons will!"
"And with that, you just let your guard down," Alastor said while still opposing Overlord raised an eyebrow in confusion before Alastor's shadow grabbed the remote from Vox and broke it in half. With the device broken and shattered, Vox gasped before static-filled images of the demons he trapped in the television world. After a few seconds, everyone returned to Hell mostly unharmed while some had apparent souvenirs from their unplanned trip. "Ah, you all look like you've had quite the entertaining adventure," Alastor said as he looked over at Dante's group.
"Too bad you didn't come with us. But then again, I don't think you'd enjoy it," Dante told Radio Demon as his attention turned toward Vox. "It was mostly a lot of reruns," he remarked as he pulled out Valentino out of nowhere and pointed it at Vox.
"Then I assure you, this next show will be brand new. It will show your death," Vox said, pulling the trigger at the Son of Sparda and hitting him in the chest. The TV demon looked pleased before his apparent victory was short-lived when Dante just stood up and the bullet fell to the floor. "What!? But how!? That was a holy weapon! It should have killed you! Why aren't you dead!?"
"Yeah, guess I'm too tough for those peashooters," Dante remarked. "Still hurts, though." As he walked toward Vox, Dante slashed the pistol in half before stabbing the weapon into the Overlord's gut, making him give out a gurgling moan. "Consider yourself canceled."
"Allow me to finish him up, my dear boy," Alastor said as he transformed himself into his full demon form. The monstrous deer-like abomination that was the Radio Demon went to town on Vox, shredding him into pieces while the others watched in silent horror, afraid to say anything, and covered their eyes. Vox screamed in agony as Alastor was ripping him apart limb from limb until there was nothing left but his head. The monitor turned black just as it fell down to the floor, cracking and shattering across the room. "Well, now that the pompous shitlord is dealt with for good, let's go watch Dante kill Mundus," Alastor said in a chipper tone, almost sounding like he never slaughtered a feared Overlord with his bare hands.
"First thing first, Smiles," Dante said as he held a hand up to the monitor that was once Vox's head. The shards shined and transformed into a ball of light before reshaping itself into a large black and electric blue railgun with a screen on the handle. Dante first the gun as it shot out technicolor lightning bolts. Dante hit the screen to the gun and the word 'Magnetic' was shown before he fired it once more, then watched as it pulled in anything that was metallic towards him. With another pull of the trigger, the metal items were sent flying around the room like a pinball game getting multiball. "Now we can go," Dante said, slinging the weapon onto his shoulder as he and the other demons walked into the elevator.
"Let's hope we have an easier time with the rest of Mundus' lackies," Vaggie said as she was ready to keep fighting.
And this is where we are finishing this chapter up. I want to thank WaterDragonMaverick with editing and suggestions. This chapter was inspired by episodes of cartoons like Teen Titans and Kim Possible, as well as Supernatural, where the characters are zapped into the world of television, making them interact with shows and movies. Now I know the Fight with Alastor and Vox was short and off screen but the next chapters will have more fight scenes than this one. So Favor and Follow as well as review, no flames. And I will see all of you in Hell!