Akira didn't know how to feel. The chains of regret and sorrow hung heavy within his mind, and he almost felt the urge to storm into Sae's room and tell her he was sorry.
He couldn't though, because in his mind, he knew he was right. He knew telling Sae of Makoto's involvement, if any, or Ryuji's conception, was wrong. He was still sorry for offending her, though. He thought of a way to make things right, but his sleep-deprivation blocked his thoughts and all he could do was feel.
He was on the couch now, staring at the ceiling, mourning the loss of the good buzz he had going before. It was all natural. Akira had felt something. He was pretty sure Sae did too.
Ha, right! Like a woman like that would ever enjoy the company of a loser like you.
He shook the thought out of his head. This wasn't Joker. This was Akira. Saving the world was indeed one thing, but learning to confront his emotions when it came to Sae was no easy task.
As he stared at the roof, the darkness enclosing around him, and the loneliness getting to him, he wished he had Morgana. The cat wasn't too much help, but he was noise and company, and Akira found himself dearly wishing he was here.
His phone buzzed. The luminescent light blinded him as he glanced at the phone. It was a text from Ryuji.
Ryuji: You awake?
Akira: Yeah.
Ryuji: You didn't respond to my text earlier. Man, what are we gonna do?
Right, the text. He felt bad. What were they going to do? He'd hate to do it, but he thought Ryuji was a bit on his own for this one.
Akira: I think that one's on you.
Ryuji: Thanks, you're a big help.
Akira: You should probably just tell her.
Ryuji: Yeah...you're right. Maybe I'll tell her tomorrow.
Ryuji: Anyway, thanks, man. Get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.
Akira: You too.
He only did Ryuji apparently have a crush on Makoto, he didn't know how to feel about Sae, and all of it swirled into an ungodly mix that made him want to shut down.
Akira didn't figure much. He was simple; he always had been, in his days of that quiet town, in the days before his life was thrown into a whirlwind. He had disliked Sae, at one point. She was an issue. A part of the problem. A part of the hellish system that took his liberty and his name.
You're nothing without a name.
So Akira existed as nothing; a phantom. A harbinger, somebody who could finally deliver justice.
He didn't even believe in the supernatural. After what happened, though, he figured anything was truly possible. He had faced God himself.
His phone buzzed again.
This time it was Makoto. Warning bells went off inside his head. Ït's too coincidental.
Makoto: Are you awake?
Akira: Yes.
Makoto: Want to go for a walk down the street? I'm craving soda and we don't have any. Sae warned me not to walk alone…
Akira didn't see why not. It was certainly better than sitting here in the darkness, and he figured sleep wasn't going to come anytime soon anyway. He walked; quietly, he made sure, his steps slow and light, towards Makoto's room.
Makoto answered the door full swing, the twinge of the handle and the creak of wood loud as a gunshot in the night's silence. Akira cringed and froze; expecting Sae to come out of her room and berate them.
"What are you doing?" He heard Makoto's voice question curiously. Akira opened a single eye to glance at her; her clothing was lax, being short shorts and a simple T-shirt. Akira didn't register much as the fear ran cold in his blood.
"Waiting for your sister to kill us,' he whispered strongly, the fear taking control. He thought about running back and pretending to be asleep on the couch; leaving Makoto to the wolves. Internally, though, he knew that wouldn't solve anything, and they would likely both be lectured.
Makoto snorted. "Sis is a super heavy sleeper. Is big bad Joker really afraid of a girl?" Makoto asked teasingly. Akira's body de-tensed as he let out a sigh.
"You try not fearing a woman you've been professionally interrogated by." Makoto, at this, laughed again.
The two finished their preparations and set off, Makoto making sure to lock the door upon her departure. Night time in Japan was a surreal thing; power lines and poles towered over the dark, yellow lit sidewalks and streets, a silver of star in the sky. They were quiet, but loud- small, but large; a paradox; a dark hour, and Akira felt he rather enjoyed it. Walking the streets with Makoto was comfortable. The sky was black, but had a reddish tinge; possibly an effect from light pollution. Whatever it was, it made Akira feel awake, and he had the strange thought to dance.
Makoto seemed to notice his erratic thought pattern. Akira wondered if his face had betrayed him.
"What's on your mind?" She asked softly. Akira almost chuckled at that.
"I should be asking about what's on yours," he responded. Makoto seemed slightly surprised at that, her eyebrows shooting up.
"What do you mean?" She asked again. They walked and walked; the darkness seeming open. A series of sidewalks connected their way to what appeared to be a street, a few cars driving up and down, the sound of their motion fading and resounding in Akira's ears. He could see the gas station up ahead.
Akira didn't respond. How could he? Why was this bugging him so much?
Makoto sighed again. "Akira, is this about my sister?" She asked.
Maybe it is. A little.
"A little," he responded truthfully.
"She likes you, you know." Makoto said. Akira's heart sped up in both embarrassment and shock from hearing those words.
"Sae has always admired you, ever since we stole her heart," Makoto continued. "She just doesn't show it the same way. She's battling her emotions, Akira. Try to be understanding."
"Plus, Sis doesn't have any hobbies. She never goes out. You should just apologize to her tomorrow or something, she doesn't have work."
Sae, without work?
"Are you sure about that?" Akira said.
"Oh, I'm confident. She hasn't gone out in years. Every day off she's just a lazy butt that reads or sits around all day." Makoto explained efficiently.
I guess it makes sense.
Makoto almost always makes sense, Akira thought to himself. That's why she was so trusted during their times as Phantom Thieves. She couldn't only read people, she could understand why, and predict their next move accurately as well.
Still though, it hurt. Makoto's words rang through his mind.
Try to be understanding.
"I'll try, Makoto." He answered.
Makoto smiled a soft smile that reminded Akira he wasn't alone anymore. He had friends. He had Sojiro, who was more a dad to him than his real one had ever been.
He sighed his own sigh of contentment. They were outside the gas station now, and Makoto said nothing as she headed in to retrieve her items.
He looked up to the sky and thought. How Makoto appeared, at first, to be an enemy, but really was one of his greatest friends.
It was funny how life worked like that. Akechi appeared to be a friend, but was really one of his greatest enemies.
He shook his head, again, to clear his thoughts of Akechi. It was a dangerous and dark train of thought he had followed numerous times before.
He ceased thought. What he needed now was sleep. His thoughts were entangled. Still, he felt a somber kind of peace and happiness as Makoto slipped out of the store with her oversized T shirt and shorts.
They walked back together, with the lights and the poles and the red tint of the sky, and Akira smiled. He smiled at Makoto, and her delicate words, at Sae, at Ryuji, at Ann, at Sojiro, and all the other pieces that had made his beating heart.
He smiled as they walked into the apartment, careful whispers bidding each other goodnight, and he smiled as he tiptoed his way to the couch to sleep.
Even though the crushing weight of Sae's disapproval still loomed over him, he forbade giving it anymore thought, lest he fall into the darkness once more.
Persona 5
He awoke to the bustling of the Niijima household once more. Sae flashed back and forth once again, and the cooking of breakfast filled his nostrils. Seeing Sae had seized his heart, but he refused once again to give the dark nature of his thoughts anymore attention and tried to understand where she was coming from.
As she disappeared down the hallway where her room was, Makoto came out.
"Hey. It's already 10 AM. We need to meet the others soon." Makoto said.
Wow, I slept late. Go me. I bet that impressed Sae.
"Have we found out where we're going?" Akira questioned suddenly.
Why do I care about that so much?
"The beach. Hope you brought swim clothes." Makoto replied simply.
Akira mused that he did, in fact, not bring swim clothes. So that meant a quick trip to Leblanc or buying new swim clothes.
He elected for the ladder, figuring it would bring Sojiro less trouble. He ate breakfast with Makoto, brushed his teeth, and went to say goodbye to Sae.
His quick search found that she wasn't in the house.
"Where'd Sae go?" Akira questioned briskly, returning from the hallway to the dining table.
"Uh, work?" Makoto answered with a shrug.
"I thought she didn't have work today?" Akira questioned again.
Makoto met Akira's eyes with a look of glazed caution. In just an instant, they were phantom thieves again, connected in spirit and body.
They went out the door in rapid fashion, leaving their half eaten breakfasts behind.
They were getting to the bottom of this.
A/N- Oh boy has it been a chicken on a corn cob with a bottle of liquor in a fishing hole of a titanium ace ring of a cockfighting dogfighting cheese tower beer.
But I'm back.
If you've come back to read this, you're a madman.
But I had no internet for these past few months, and other things to focus on, so I had to do what I had to do.
But I'm back.