Excuse the spelling errors and grammar mistakes.

Disclaimer: All Twilight Saga characters belong to Stephanie Meyer. Unless stated otherwise. This plot belongs to me, please respect artistic creativity. This is a non-profit story. No copyrights infringements intended.

This is fun. Geez, who knew? Yeah, who knew rocking on the ball of your feet back and forth for hours would be such a basket case of excitement.

Yet, perhaps this new found mood I seem to be in would have been the cause of this tight leash I was branded with being loosened a tad.

Perhaps that as the sun went down behind the forest to declare night brought about with it a beautiful willowy scent of earth and moss.

And perhaps, it's the first I started to appreciate this new life that I actually opened the only window in this one room cottage and allowed the scent of dust and mold to be replaced with nature, fresh breeze, and the early light of a silver moon.

My new life is totally and completely sad.

But at least I had Jacob and what semblance of a rough friendship we might manage to salvage out of this.

I perched my elbows on the windowsill, content and pleased to not be bothered with the humanly discomfort of standing for too long. I tucked one foot behind the other, scratching my bare ankles with my toenails. The sensation was soft on my skin, and not at all how I remembered from the feel of sharp nails on skin to comfort an itch. Oddly enough, I'm going to miss that. Oddly enough, I'm actually thinking of that.

But now that the issue of bare ankles arose, I suddenly felt the shrill acknowledgment of how bare my legs were. This shirt that was four sizes too big, and ….. oh dear … the pair of borrowed panties from Rachel Black's collection of under garments was the only cover up I had to sport for the past few days.

My old clothes were filthy with dirt and my own sticky dried blood. They were burned and buried somewhere deep in the forest. The final thing I shed from my last moments as a human.

Jacob's navy shirt, abused by a washing machine and the wrong kind of laundry detergent, now turned into a thigh level makeshift dress was light, and against my free style chest, turned revealing. If I could blush I would. I didn't care before, with my incarceration, my swirl of intense mood swings, and the fact that I had to be around musky, stinky, beefy over-grown child-minded men.

Oh god .. I was moping around looking like this. I hope none of them got an eyeful.

I snorted. Who was I kidding?

They probably got an eyeful and then some. Probably took care of their fair share of handfuls to the imagery. For the past five days that I have been stuck here I knew the wolves ran hot in every aspect. And that was just summarizing it very kindly on my part. A pair of bouncing tits would send them into frenzy.

Speak of the devil. I heard him before I saw him …. But gave my back to the cottage entrance and faced the window, staring at the crescent moon in all its shimmering glory.

Be on your good behavior.

Besides Jacob, none of the other Quileute men knew well of me as a human besides the fact that I was Jacob's depressed, zombie like friend who dropped by at the Black's residence nearly every single day when I finally got the kick in the butt from Charlie to do something else than molding together with my bed.

Footsteps were approaching closer.

Weird …. Feet. Not paws.

Sam said he would be dropping by in wolf form.

This was not Sam. Someone else. Who? It's not human.

This heavy musk was one hundred percent wolf. The warm breeze of early summer blew down wind in the direction of my cottage.

Be on your good behavior. I need to remember that.

The steps grew closer, much louder. Thumping bare on the weak wood of the porch steps. The door creaked slowly open. I dug my elbow into the wooden sill a little too roughly; a fissure grew in its path.

"What'cha doing there Bella?" My visitor spoke in a deep sing-song voice.

I bit my lip. "Looking out the window. Staring at the moon." Holding my breath. Not smelling your stink. I added the last comments mentally.

"Is it any different from how you looked at it before?" I didn't miss the sarcastic tone. But that was just hardwired into Jared's personality. Of all people, Jared had to drop by. Still better than Paul, and that was saying plenty.

"I guess." I shrugged. "Did you come here for something, Jared? Or staring at the newborn vampire for the past several days wasn't enough already?" I still wasn't perfecting my control on my mood. And right now I was itching to break something …. Someone … nope …. Something. Definitely something.

The small room echoed with a deep throaty laughter. "I see you got your claws out on stand by." Jared declared but he still remained a safe distance from me. And for that I was grateful.

"What do you want, Jared?"

"Sam is running a little late. Needed to take care of some stuff. Chief Alpha business and all. Sent me since Paul doesn't care much about you, and Jacob is kicking into his last patrol round before turning in for the night."

And before the words could even form at the tip of my tongue, Jared suddenly declared. "Your shirt is see-through."

"Its not my shirt. You would have realized that if you paid better attention." I retorted. I can taste the icy sweet venom flooding my mouth.

"I'm paying much attention now."

"Seen enough?" I growled.

"Not really. But I smelled enough, I'll tell ya that much." He giggled. He actually giggled!

"Look …. If your trying to bicker a fight out of me then I got news for you, buddy. I'm not going start something that I will regret later when I face Sam. I think I got enough excitement with Paul's delightful personality as is."

"I'm not trying to fight with ya, Bella. Although, I am impressed with how you are keeping your temper in check. I'm practically shaking being so close to you and your smell. No offense." he replied with an awkward chuckle.

"None taken. You don't smell like a bucket of daisies yourself." I scoffed.

A few moments of silence ticked and the only thing that could be heard was the whistle of the wind and night crickets. About 5 and half yards away there was an owl hooting from a tree branch.

A breeze blew by from right and I took this advantage to inhale as much fresh air as I could, enough to be able to swallow back the venom.

"Doesn't look like its bothering you more than me." Jared suddenly cut through the silence.

"That's because I'm not breathing when I'm around you guys." I answered with plain, calm honesty.

After a few surprisingly pleasant yet awkward verbal exchanges, I have come to the conclusion that Jared wasn't so bad after all. Stink and sarcasm aside.

We kept our distance; I had my head dangling out of the window to keep from gagging. I didn't know vampires could gag. Werewolf odor cannot be ignored for long. But for peacekeeping sake I wanted to show that we could get along, natural born enemies or not.

Jared wasn't offended by how I had my body half out the window, purple panties in the air and all. He kinda got a kick out of it. The old me wouldn't have been so careless and bold. I would never be the blushing, plain, hiding behind her auburn hair, human Bella again.

Shortly after, Jared's phone rang and I heard Sam's gruff voice coming from the device when he held it to his ear. He was done with whatever got him running late and would be here within minutes. So Jared left me to those few minutes alone.

I don't think I have ever been this ecstatic in all of my human years. None that I could vividly remember anymore, they are mostly very dim and blurry. As metaphorical as shapes within a fog. I can faintly make them out but the details are too shrouded to differentiate which part from which.

But with that all said, nothing could bring me down. I sat on the small platform in front of the cottage, stretching out in the night air, bare feet dangling on the edge of the hoisted porch.

The beautiful aroma of the forest was crisp and cool. The little cottage sat in a large patch of clearing, and the moonlight seeped down and illuminated the one room wooden place I have come to dub as my residence.

The sky was mildly cloudy, waltzing around the moon, hiding it from view before it peeked out again.

A strong breeze hit me from the east, throwing my hair into a wild dance of perfect reddish-brown curls. I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply.

I detected several recognizable scents that I often came across, pine and lavender. And there was another scent that was new and yet inviting and oddly natural, my instincts registered them as foreign yet familiar, brilliant and warm … and delicious.

I froze. My eyes bugged out so wide from the shocked as I gritted my teeth together, coming up with the only conclusion of why my mouth was overflowing with venom to the point that I was salivating right down to the edge of my chin.

Humans!

Not very far, four hundred or so yards away from where I sat. Three humans. I didn't question my logic, I just took off running against the wind. My vision turned red, the monster inside me was thirsty, demanding to be quenched. The burn in my throat grew fierce.

I was consumed with the newborn bloodlust. I thought I was much of a better vampire than to surrender to this basic need. How foolish of me.

I just kept running and running. Marveling slightly at how my legs picked me up faster and faster. I was almost gliding on the uneven surface of the forest, avoiding branches and boulders that I spotted with my perfect to perfection peripheral vision before they managed to make contact with me.

The monster inside me shrieked with excitement, as the smell got closer and stronger and sweeter. We laughed, as I was running but never getting tired as my immortal strength push me forth. The monster, it cheered me on at how much we would be satisfied when we found the treasure at the end of our symbolic rainbow.

But there was a smaller voice behind the bloodthirsty fiend. A delicate little soprano of a voice that tried to speak louder and louder, urging me to listen. Begging me to fight my animalistic advocate. The red haze slowly fizzled back a little and the small voice grew louder still, now ringing more clearly in my ear.

'….. you are going to disappoint the only people that believe in you!' my subconscious screamed at me.

With that final sentence, the crimson curtain that covered my vision was ripped right off. I was thinking sanely now. The smell of human blood was still so sweet and beckoning me forward, but a last minute decision had me holding my breath and running in the opposite direction. I took off without hesitation, afraid that I would smell that sweet nectar and chase after it once more.

I didn't know how far I was going, or when I should stop. All I was thinking about, with whatever shred of sanity left within me to run as far away from the humans as possible.

I passed a large stream and jumped over the body of water, and didn't stop for a moment. But for some reason I got an odd chill-like feeling in the back of my mind, like a warning of some sort for me to stay away. I have no idea what part of my brain registered this but I felt deep down that this side of the river was too dangerous for me.

My running came to a sudden halt when I realized my feet had led me to a large clearing, dominated in the center by a magnificent crystal like surfaced lake. It reflected the moon in the blue night sky perfectly like a liquid mirror.

Mesmerized by the picturesque scenery, my bare and now mud covered feet walked me ahead, this time much slower and lazier, until I approached the edge of the water and stopped.

I looked down, and with the luminescence and reflective sparkle clear surface of the water, I saw myself as a vampire for the very first time.

The first thing that caught my attention was the scarlet twin siren that was my eyes. So bright, big and red, a very deep shade of red, even with all the animal blood I had consumed since I had awoken.

My wishful thinking had me hope that it would start to at least display my alternative diet, even if just for a tiny bit. But I guess that was my hope blowing its dead ashes in the wind.

I slumped forth, knees meeting the ground with a pound. I didn't care that my hair was shiny, much longer, and radiant in color. I didn't care that my skin was porcelain and perfect, or that my lips were full, heart-shaped, and symmetrical.

Do vampires get depressed? I sure felt like it. I guess I might be broken. Not perfectly perfect after all. A certain odd noise blossomed in the back of my throat, it took me a second to realize that I was sad and I was crying. No tears came out but the sobbing, and the heavy weight in my chest were a big give away. I wrapped my arms around my body tightly.

This was not the sort of life I imagined it would be. All this time wishing I could be beautiful and immortal, but I never felt so alone in my entire life.

I could never go back. This unchangeable state is what I am now. I never understood the phrase 'be careful what you wish for' but words couldn't sound more truthful than in this moment.

I couldn't see Charlie again. Even if I can fight my thirst for human blood, get golden eyes from my animal diet; I'll still be frozen in this state.

Forever stuck as an eighteen year old.

An eighteen-year-old virgin girl. A vampire virgin … like Edward.

Awareness suddenly consumed me and for a moment I stopped dry sobbing. I placed my hand over my mouth just in time for a gasp to slip between my fingers.

Somehow, and in a very unexplainable weird sense, the thought of comparing myself to my vampire virgin ex-boyfriend, whom I tried so hard to never think of, was slightly starting to …. tickle me from deep inside.

How strange that I had fought so hard to forget his name, to banish it from my thoughts, to never think of him or utter of his mention. Yet now, thoughts of him just came so easily. And it didn't hurt to think of him at all.

I didn't feel the heartbreak anymore. Almost like it was fading.

A bubble of hysterical laughter possessed me. And I laughed loud and hard, and oh so joyfully.

"SWAN!" Sam's voice echoed from where I had just treaded. And in that same exact moment I smelled moisture in the air as the sky declared heavy rain upon us.

Before Sam could even reach where I was, my hair and shoulders were already drenched, and the water slowly seeped into my clothes. He crouched down beside me, and I couldn't meet his gaze. When I looked down at the ground I would have thought he would have phased nude, but was relieved when he was wearing cutout, tattered, acid wash jean shorts.

"What happened?!" he demanded, his voice was a shroud of anger. I flinched.

"You were supposed to wait for me. I came over and you were gone. I told you time and again not to go without one of the pack. You better have a good reason for crossing over the treaty line." I can sense the growls beneath his rough tone. And somewhere in the back of my mind it also explains why I suddenly got the weird feeling of danger after I jumped across that huge river. That was the treaty line.

"Bella?" My name rang in my ears. I didn't respond.

Should I tell him? Should I keep it to myself? Does he already know? Did he detect the human's smell as I did? He must have. He is supernatural as well.

My mind ran away with me at various scenarios where I can imagine things would get pretty ugly if I tell Sam the truth. The rest of the pack would know. Jacob would know. He would hate me, as much as he hates the vampire side of me. He will just see me as just one of them. A mindless rabid leech.

Though Sam was next to me, calling my name several times, demanding my attention, I was more distracted with torturous fantasies my mind decided to throw against the back of my eyes, each one causing my stomach to flip with anxiety and worry. And to make matters worse, my brilliant vampire thinking made it possible to see several flashes all at once without missing a beat. Great. Even my own mind was playing demon to my thoughts.

I faintly registered when a set of hands grabbed my arms. But only until the contact of scorching palms against my icy skin caused me to flinch and hiss in fright, did I actually snap out of it.

I was brought face to face with deep, dark brown almost close to black, furious eyes. I lost all train of thought. Suddenly those set of eyes didn't seem so angry looking at me anymore. They were just gazing very intensely.

I was pinned into place, frozen, literally frozen. Call me crazy but I felt a ghostly thumping in my chest. Right where my heart used to echo its mortal opus.

My body couldn't move. Is Sam doing this? How is he doing this? But it doesn't explain the surprised expression on his face that he is behind it.

The world around us suddenly dimmed to black. And the phantom thumping in my chest turned into a pull, a forward pull.

It was pulling me toward …. toward …. Sam?

I can almost feel my expression mirroring Sam's own surprise. Almost like he was going through this unexplainable feeling. Like the world shifted off its axis, and nothing mattered anymore. That all that was important in my existence was this pull.

As sudden as this mysterious feeling came over me, it was gone just as quickly. The world was the dark blue of the night. The rainy forest that drenched us completely came into view. Everything was back to normal. Even that strange pull was gone now. Like the whole thing never even happened. Whatever it was, if it has a name to be called.

Was it a hallucination? Can vampires hallucinate? But most importantly can it be shared with someone else? I am so sure Sam felt it too.

I was about to voice those exact questions when Sam cut me across.

"Did you feel that…." he uttered in stunned whisper.

He did feel it.

I opened my mouth to answer him when a shocking pressure flourish from my stomach, climbing all the way to my chest. Like hot lava, it was burning me from the inside out. It was as hot and painful as the change I went through.

I arched forward, my forehead touching Sam's hot chest. But I didn't mind his heat anymore. The heat within me was nothing in comparison to the mild warmth of Sam's temperature.

"Swan? ….. hey ….. Swan? Bella!" Sam called in a panic.

"Pain. Inside. It hurts." I managed to word out between my tightly clenched teeth.

"Where does it hurt? Tell me where it hurts?!"

"EVERYWHERE!" I screamed as loud as I could before I was suddenly struck with a paralyzing pain.

Sam released his hold on my arms and I just crumbled to the muddy ground, face first, welcomed by a mouthful of soggy grass and dirt and I screamed beyond my sanity. It was a feeling that can only be described as being poured with acid all over, from head to toe, and my skin was just bubbling and melting off my bones.

And then I just stopped thrashing. Stopped moving. Stopped thinking. The only thing I caught sight of before the whole world died around me was Sam's desperation and panic, etched on his strong face. Before my vision went dark and still.

Author's Note: Sometimes I feel like what I write is very predictable. Or maybe because I already know what's gonna happen that I'm not that surprised. What do YOU think? Share your thoughts.