The Cost of Pride

Megatoxic

**Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters. I am simply an avid fan with a day dream about her favorite RPG game.**

Chapter 3: She is Different…

I was glad to finally be back in my own space and to peace and relative calmness. There was a time in my life, centuries ago, when I reveled in the madness, and now all I could feel was a desire for this to simply be over. I had tended to the half-blooded woman for three grueling days after she had dropped out of the portal. I was not there to witness her fall from the portal, but from what I had heard it had been an interesting experience for both her and those who saw her fall. I had never heard or seen of such in my long life. The closest thing that I could even compare it to would be an eluvian, but that was clearly not the case here.

My little cabin did not have much in it when the Inquisition provided it to me, but I was simply thankful that this was the route that they chose instead of trying to fling me into a dungeon cell as they had done with the woman. I was happy to be able to have some time to myself. Upon arriving, I had surrendered myself over to the guards. Of course they had been astounded that I had simply handed over my staff and submitted to them, but it had the desired effect. After that, I spent days taking care of the Dalish infant that now bore the mark of my power. I had been afraid that she would die before I could find a way to get it back, but luckily she had lived. The breach was not closed; however, it was stable for now buying me more time.

I ran my hand over my bald scalp allowing magic to flow through my fingertips and remove any stubble that might be forming. I did this at least two to three times a day. It was much easier than having my hair grown out and it gave me an older look that got me a little more respect. A smirk formed on my lips as I thought of the way those around me saw me. A simple, older, elven apostate who couldn't possibly understand the ways of the world… oh if they only had half a clue as to who I really was they wouldn't know what to do with themselves. They probably wouldn't believe me that's for sure. That seemed to be the number one problem with recruiting new agents. I had to convince them that I really was Fen'harel, The Dread Wolf. A show of my power was almost always needed now-and-days. Once upon a time, I would never have been questioned in such a way.

I was standing next to the fireplace in my small cabin checking the stew that I had scrounged together when I heard a hurried knock on my door. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see one of Leliana's scouts at my door or at least as far as the spymaster thought he was her man. In reality, he was an agent of mine. He was just a normal city elf from Kirkwall who had fled after the incident at the Chantry. His name was Kalen and he stated in a clear voice for everyone around to hear, "Ser Solas, I have a message of utmost importance to you from Sister Leliana and The Seeker Cassandra." "Well do come in," I replied smoothly as I stepped aside to allow him to enter my cabin.

Once the door was closed, he turned to me with his wide brown eyes and smiled, "Well this has been an interesting experience in Haven so far." "That it has dalen. Do you really have news for me from Leliana or have other agents found anything?" I asked hurriedly. I was beyond ready to find my orb and fix this whole debacle. "No my lord, there has been nothing new so far, but Leliana did send me to give you a message. It appears that the half-breed is a mage and was unware. The spymaster believes it would be best if she were to be trained and stay with another mage until she can control herself and her new found abilities," Kalen bobbed his head in submission, "and it appears she believes that task would be best left in your hands." I was dumbfounded momentarily at his words. "She wants the woman to stay here? In my cabin with me, and I am to train and watch her like and newborn babe?"

I was well aware of the game that the sister was attempting to play here. She saw two apostates with little ground to stand on. She cared not if they wanted to be forced together and she certainly didn't care if rumors started circulating about them. What did it matter to her or the inquisition anyways? He was an elven apostate lucky enough to be given refuge because he had agreed to help and she was a half-breed with nowhere to go and magic herself. Kalen had his head bowed and was waiting patiently for my response, "Well I suppose that we shall have to bend to her will then won't we? Please inform your mistress that my companion will need a bed of her own and some clothes. The ones she had on were damaged badly in her fall, and please make it known to her that once the rumors start circulating about me and this woman she will be the one who will have to do damage control." Kalen's face blanched a little and I knew that the last part would never make it to the spymaster's ears, but it still felt good to get it out of my system even for a minute.

Kalen bowed quickly and made his way out the door. He could probably feel the waves of frustration coming off of me. Granted, there really wasn't another competent mage around to handle this situation and I really did need to try and figure out where this girl came from, but still. The gall of that woman to simply demand obedience irritated me beyond belief. Such shows of power control had never sat well with me and I sincerely hoped that she wasn't going to attempt to make a show of doing such things often. My agents would simply have to step in if things got to out of hand with the spymaster.

I checked my stew again to help calm myself and I went about tiding up my cabin to make room for my new roommate. Not that my cabin was messy, especially considering that I have barely spent any time in it, but I pushed my bed further towards the wall to make room for hers and I set about emptying a couple of drawers in the dresser for any of her belongings. I was very careful not to leave things laying around that would give away my identity. While I was moving my belongings in the draw I came across two things that had been on the woman when they had brought me to her. They had been in the side pockets of the red dress that she was wearing. One was made of some kind of animal skin and had brightly colored flowers of the likes he had never seen before on it. When I had opened the fastening on it, I had discovered some very odd things inside made of a material I had never seen cut in rectangles. One of the rectangles also had a mini portrait of the woman on it that looked extremely clear and realistic. The item in her other pocket had been a metal ring with two keys on it. They were keys of a type I had certainly never seen before though and I could not imagine what they possibly opened.

I could have given these items over to the seeker and the spymaster, but I had chosen to keep them for the simple fact of knowledge being power. These were items that we clearly important to the woman or she would not have kept them on her, but they were also clearly not from anywhere that I had ever been before and I had been a lot of places in my time. Where this woman came from was a mystery and one that I planned to solve with the help my agents and my own cunning and intelligence. I smiled to myself as I carefully wrapped her belongings up in a tunic of mine and placed it back into the drawer. I went over to check the stew one more time when there was another hurried knock on the door.

I opened it expecting to see Kalen with another message from Leliana perhaps, but was greeted by two guards who simply nodded at me and carried a bed in, "Where would be best to put it elf?" one of the guards asked gruffly. I indicated the spot I had made by the end of my bed and closest to the adjoining wall, "There will be fine ser." The guards placed the bed down roughly and turned to leave. I could see that it was a bed almost identical to mine with sheets and a blanket already placed on it, but there was no pillow. "May I have a pillow for my pupil as well please?" I asked as humbly as I knew how. The other guard started laughing at me, "You knife-ears will do well to be thankful that you have a roof over your heads, a bed to lay on, and the protection of the inquisition. If she wants a damn pillow then the little bitch can get one herself with her own earned money. If she needs some ideas of where to earn it from just let me know." The guard winked at the last part and turned to exit with his companion laughing at his twisted joke. They were both brutish looking men and I hoped that I never had to see them again because I wasn't sure that I would be able to resist killing them for such slurs and blatant racism. With a flick of my wrist my door slammed shut behind them.

Maybe two hours later, there was a knock on my door again. This knock was firm, but much less hurried than my previous two visitors today. I was eating a bowl of my stew while sitting on my bed. I placed my bowl on the table beside my bed as I rose and opened the door. Cassandra was standing with her hand raised as if she would knock again and slightly behind her was the woman from the portal. The woman had her curly head down and was wrapped up in a long dark cloak. She looked as if she was trying to shield herself from the world. "I have brought your student to you ser Solas. She is aware that you are to be both her teacher and her guard. Please make sure that she stays with you and if you must go somewhere without her, for now, release her into the custody of another member of the Inquisition," Cassandra was looking at him expectantly.

I nodded to the seeker, "Very well, seeing as neither her nor I have much say in the matter we will comply. Come in please, your bed arrived just recently as well." I stepped aside to allow the woman to enter and she did so hesitantly passing Cassandra and entering my… our… cabin. I noticed as she passed me that she was shorter than I expected, but I supposed I shouldn't be too shocked with her heritage. "Very well Seeker is there anything else that you need from us tonight?" I asked this while making a point to look at the darkening sky past her shoulder. "No, I believe that settles it. I expect to see you two out by Cullen and the Soldiers tomorrow with her training," her dark eyes looked into mine and I inclined my head in her direction. "So we shall be," and I watched as Cassandra gave one more hesitant look at the woman behind me then turned and walked away. I closed the door softly behind her before turning around.

Before I could even speak to the woman standing in front of me looking at the floor and also looking very lost she spoke first, "Ma serannas, I appreciate you healing all of my wounds." I was surprised to find that her voice was feminine, but with a slight accent that I could not having ever recalled hearing before. I nodded my head at her and decided to take control of the situation, "It was no problem. My name is Solas as I'm sure you've heard by now and you are?" I waited a moment as she seemed to be bracing herself to talk to me. She finally made eye contact with me and I noted that her eyes also had a distinctly elven shape to them and they were a pleasant shade of hazel brown, "I am Fallen." I pointed at her outerwear, "Please take your cloak off and make yourself comfortable. No sense and being tense the rest of the night. Tomorrow, the real work shall begin. Would you like some stew?" I glanced her way as I walked towards the pot over the fire to see her nod.

"Please, that would be amazing. I had forgotten how long it's been since I've eaten and ya'll don't seem to like to feed your prisoners," she had removed her dark cloak while talking and I noticed that Cassandra must have gotten her some new clothes and allowed her to clean up. She was wearing a black tunic with quarter sleeves and brown pants that were popular with the rogues. She had on a simple pair of black boots and I also notice that her hair appeared much cleaner. It fell around her shoulders in messy curls. I forced myself to stop looking at her and focused instead on what she had just said, "Ya'll?"

Fallen's cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as she brushed a few curls behind the round human-looking ear on her right side, "It means 'you all,' it's a very common slang phrase from where I'm from." "And where might that be," I asked immediately. She seemed to cringe at this line of questioning, but she persevered on, "I am from South Reach. My mother was a serving girl in Denerim and when she found out that I was on the way she moved to South Reach to raise me." As someone who has rehearsed many lies in my life I easily recognized what she said as such, "I see. So I am assuming that your father was human then?"

While I had been speaking to her I had filled her a bowl of stew and I directed her to sit on her bed with it so that she could eat. "Of course he was. Why would you think any different?" she asked with curiosity. I sat on my on own bed and returned my attention to my own stew while I answered her, "Well I was wondering where you got your round ears from. Elf-blooded humans always have the round ears of their human parent." I heard her choke a little on her stew and her face looked a combination of shocked and confused, "So you think that I'm elf-blooded?"

I raised my eyebrows pointedly at her, "Have you forgotten that I tended to you while you were injured? I spent three days looking after you and that granted me the time needed to notice the familiar traits." "And what traits do you see in me that are elven?" Fallen asked. In that moment, I honestly couldn't read the expression on her face and irritated me immensely. "Your legs are hairless as is under your arms. You are shorter and in fact I failed to realize how short you are until you walked past me earlier, and your nose and eye area has a slightly elven inclination to it as well," I took another bite of my stew and was pleased with the flavor. I really hadn't lost my touch.

"Very well, my mother was an elven servant in Denerim and my father was a human noble who took advantage of her. At Least, that's the story that she told me before I died, but as for the truth of it I have no way of knowing," she continued to look at her stew while she spoke and I got the feeling that there was some truth mixed in that statement, but plenty more lies. Well, for now, she could keep her secrets. I was well aware that it was looked down upon to have elven blood within your veins to the quicklings.

"Don't worry your secret shall be safe with me. I will not tell everyone of your tainted blood; although, you should know that most elves and a great many humans will be able to tell that you carry elven within you blood," I sat my bowl down firmly on the table beside by bed and schooled my features into a mask of calm. "It is almost time to retire for the night. As I stated earlier, tomorrow we will begin your training and you will stay with me throughout your days with the Inquisition until further notice. I am assuming that means you will be traveling with me if the Herald needs my services and that means we have to make sure you are gaining control of yourself. I will place wards tonight to guard your dreams from demons so you need not worry about that. Eventually, you will be able to do so on your own," as I was speaking I had taken both of our now empty bowls and placed them on the table by the door. The servants would collect and replace them the next day when they made their rounds. A timid voice spoke up from her bed behind me, "Solas, I do not despise the idea of having elven blood in my veins. The shape of someone's ears does not determine who they are any more than the color of their skin or their sex. Honestly, I don't even really care what people are going to say about us," she waved her hand self-consciously between the two of us to emphasize her point, "but if we are going to live together then it needs to be understood that there are things in my past that are hard for me to talk about just as I am sure you have the same in yours."

Her big brown eyes were looking at me imploringly and I surprisingly felt myself warming to her spirit a bit. I was still very aware that she was hiding things and lying about where she came from, but I couldn't help it. I was moved by her words that were so open and earnest in a world full of people who were telling the truth, but didn't sound nearly as compassionate and sincere as her. "Alright then Fallen, I can agree to that. You should know that others around here are not going to leave it at that," including myself I thought. She nodded and her curls bounced around her shoulders, "I know that and I'll deal with it when I get there." With that, she laid back on her bed and as I turned around to make sure the door was locked I heard, "Well I'll be… I don't even have a damn pillow." The chuckle that escaped me was caused by a combination of her frustration and that strange accent of hers. She is different… I thought as I slid the lock into place for the night.

Translations:

dalen: child or small one

ma serannas: my thanks