Amber was tired, but she couldn't sleep. She was cold, hungry and she was living in her head, going over her life, studying how it went wrong, criticizing every move and every word she ever spoke. Charlotte slept peacefully to her right, and Bellamy sat on the opposite side of the cave wall to her, him without sleep also, but despite sitting across from eachother, they never made eye contact. She watched him play with a knife between his knees that bent high enough so his arms could rest on them. His dark eyes intently watching the blade turn and toss, but she could tell his mind was elsewhere. She realized she was staring for too long, and exhaled a little too loudly, swinging her head back to gently hit the cave wall behind her back and eyeing the calloused ceiling.

Suddenly, she was aware of how quiet it was. It felt like Charlotte wasn't even in the room, it was only her and this boy— man, whom she hardly knows but from the beginning didn't feel too great about. She knew he was a clear born leader, strong, persuasive, and he had a sister he cared about more than anything. The first time they actually had some sort of interaction was after Amber punched Wells. She was met with his hard gaze, and decided that she wouldn't let this man intimidate her. Though they never had a genuine conversation, they had a mutual feeling of unease towards each other, in reality, this was just because they didn't know anything about each other. But, Amber didn't want to know anybody. The only person she wanted to care about was John, and that was final. People around her die and she was going to work hard to make sure John wouldn't share the same fate. But, she was stuck in a cave with a man she doesn't know and some kid. Amber had always been restless. She could never sit still, or shut up.

"Why'd you ask me to come hunting?" Amber broke the silence, still staring at the ceiling, her hands picking the skin around her bitten down nails.

There was no immediate response from Bellamy, and Amber for a second she thought he wouldn't respond at all. "Thought you'd be good with a knife."

Amber's head swung down finally, her eyes meeting Blake's, she was taken aback by this statement, she wasn't offended, she was kind of just— in awe. Her mouth hung open without any noise coming out, faking offence.

Bellamy realized the full extent of what he said, "No— no, I didn't mean it like that." He stuttered, Amber was nearly stunned to see him like this. He thought she was actually offended, and he was apologizing. Strange.

"It's fine, I totally get it." She said almost sarcastically, as she seemed to always do, brushing the hair that laid in her face behind her ears, revealing her wide bright eyes. She couldn't make eye contact again, but Bellamy never stopped looking at her.

"I meant— because of the other day, you jumped in front of that panther without a second thought, no hesitation at all. We need that down here, hesitation— it's what gets us killed." He explained.

"Right, yeah." She nodded, meeting his eyes. A breeze hit her skin instantly sending her into chills, she blew out warm air over her hands and rubbed her bare arms attempting to get rid of the bumps that now littered her skin.

"You didn't get a jacket?" Bellamy's brows were furrowed. All prisoners were given a weather-proof jacket and thick combat boots before they were sent to the ground. Her shoes were thin and worn black canvas shoes, and the clothes she wore were definitely not weather-proof.

"Apparently not." Amber muttered, knowing from the look on Blake's face he felt sorry for her, this angered her. She was not weak. Bellamy did something unexpected once again, he shrugged off the guards jacket he wore, and handed it out to her. She shook her head violently, "No—" Her voice was hard, but she softened it once she realized he was actually being genuine, "No, she—" Amber turned to the small girl sleeping next to her, "uh, she needs it more than me." Amber did grab the jacket, but instead of cloaking it over herself, she draped it over Charlotte.

Fourty-five seconds of silence.

"Why did you save Octavia—and me?" Blake's eyes were softer now, Amber didn't know if it was from the dim light in the cave or something else she couldn't decipher, but she couldn't tear her eyes away. She wondered for a few moments about how she should answer, she didn't really know what to say, she could only find the truth.

"I'm not afraid to die." She said very simply, her voice was monotonous, she had little to no expression in her face, but Bellamy saw a look of honesty and emotion in Amber's bright golden eyes, and from that he knew she was being truthful.

"So what you're saying is you'd rather have yourself die than somebody else?" Bellamy attempted to make sense of the girl sitting across from him.

Amber nodded, "I should be dead right now anyway." She scratched her forehead, "What difference would it make? I deserve it, don't I?" Her voice was cold, and accusing. She looked away now, was it in shame? Something in Blake struck, he felt something strange. She was no more guilty than he was, but everyone knew of her crime and no one on the ground knew of his.

"No one deserves to die." Bellamy

"Tell that to Chancellor Jaha." She murmured through her teeth, her sarcasm returning. They both laughed. Together. Bellamy was bewildered, this girl had a personality no one dared to see, so full of humor and emotion and carelessness but it was so hard to reach. He assumed she couldn't let just anyone in, and he couldn't blame her for it. But her smile, though rarely seen, was so… alluring. The laughing was shortlived when they both realised they were supposed to dislike eachother.

To rid of the awkward silence, Bellamy spoke. "Why did you do it?"

Amber knew what he was asking. She could feel it. He wanted to know who she was and how she came to be who she is now. And she was going to tell him, even if most of her didn't want to. It was a long story, but they were stuck, Blake had the time. She told herself she wasn't letting him in, she was just passing the time. Amber's mouth began to move.

"If I tell you I have to start from the beginning." Amber said calmly, her breathing slow. Blake nodded, prompting her to continue. "My parents are Alex and Jane Murphy. Jane didn't know she was pregnant until she had me, Alex was a medic so he knew what to do when my mom fell in the kitchen as her water broke. I don't think I was Alex's daughter. My mom was compulsive and Alex was too nice for her, without a doubt she got knocked up by another man. That aside, my parents never wanted a daughter anyway, so when I was born, they kept me a secret. Since my mom didn't show throughout her pregnancy and I was delivered at home, I wasn't recorded as ever existing. I didn't even have a name. They began to call me Sara, but it never was my name. The first few years of my life I was raised as a normal child would just add neglect and being shoved into air vents when someone knocked on the door. But then John came along. My parents really, really, loved him. And so therefore suddenly, the neglect worsened, I was kept under the floor by my mom for most if not all of the time. I kind of raised myself. Jane got increasingly abusive towards me, not enough to break any bones but enough to leave scars. I got really good at stealing rations and keeping myself unseen, by the time John was old enough to talk we were best friends. He named me Amber after art class one day because the color of my eyes. And that's been my name ever since. Because I never went to school, I spent my time reading John's books or learning how to fight when Jane wasn't home. Alex was trained as a guard before he was a medic, so he taught me the basics when he could. He was really good to me, and to John. He was nice to Jane, but to us he was definitely rough around the edges, pushed us around a bit, but he taught us to do what we can to survive. But then John got sick, he contracted the flu and my parents didn't have enough money to afford treatment. So when Alex went to work at the medical center he begged his colleagues for medicine but they declined, so he stole some. He got away with it at first, John recovered, but then a couple days later Alex never came home. He was floated and I never got to say goodbye like Jane and John could. With Alex no longer around there was no one to stop my mom from taking out most of her frustration on me. With John it was only verbal abuse from her, but I took gashes from broken bottles, punches, and slaps. She was always drinking, every-time I came out from under the floor she stunk, she stopped taking care of herself, she smelt like she was dying. Eventually she did die. That bitch's last words were telling John that he was the reason Alex was dead. I was 19 when John set fire to Alex's arresting officer's quarters in his anger. And he too was taken away from me. I wish I could've stopped him but I just didn't. I was angry too. I was alone from then on, I stopped stealing rations when I was 16 because I was getting too old and big, it was too risky so John would do it for me, so without him to help me I was starving. Some other family moved into where my family used to live, so I was stuck in the tunnels below the floor. I was getting thinner and thinner and more sick as time went on. I knew I was going to die but I didn't really care in the end. John would get floated when he turned 18, his crimes were too serious, he was too violent, it just made sense. I was going crazy. My mind kind of stopped working, I can hardly remember anything that happened between then and getting arrested. I started vomitting up blood, I couldn't breathe right and I could hardly stand. I found the medical team who I realised later refused to give medicine to Alex. I showed myself to them, begging them to help me. I must've looked insane, I guess I was. They asked me for my name and where my parents were but I couldn't form an answer, I needed food, water, something. They refused to help me. And I got so angry. Angry at the law, at myself, angry at my mom for not killing me when I was born. I just knew these doctors were the ones who killed my dad. So, I took a scalpel, when they turned away and I killed them. I didn't know they had urgent care patients that would die without their care, I didn't know how important they were, I just did it. I just did it." She paused, taking a moment of reflection, "They had rations at the medical center so I took them and ran, I recovered from my sickness but I knew it wasn't long until I was found. Everything was so… numb. I was going to die no matter what. I heard a couple of radio broadcasts about my appearance and I did consider turning myself in. But before I knew it someone else was found who too lived under the floor. After your sister was discovered they found me and I was ready to join her. But they didn't treat me nearly s well. They tazered and restrained me, and then I was locked in solitary confinement for God knows how long before I was spat out onto this hell they call Earth. I got to see my brother again, that's what matters and I'll do whatever it takes to keep him alive."

Bellamy just watched her. she looked so vulnerable, and yet so strong. Amber took Blake's silence for judgment and her hands began to fidget. She cursed herself for being so honest, she didn't know why she told him all that, it all just flowed out of her mouth. Word vomit. It felt strange and confusing.

"I'm sorry for what I said the other night." Blake said finally. Amber furrowed her brows at this, unable to form a response. "There are people down here far worse than you and singling you out was wrong."

"I killed three doctors. And fifteen more people died as a result of my doings." Amber reiterated simply, she did not show many signs of remorse or guilt, she was only just stating facts.

"I know." Blake promptly replied, catching Amber off guard, did he not care?

"You want to be a leader. Even if you thought it was wrong you'd do it anyway because that's what the people wanted you to do. They know there's other murderers in the camp, but they don't care because I'm the one who's head shot was plastered on the walls of the Ark for however many weeks with 18 deaths attached to my description, they know what I did and they think I'll do it to them. They're afraid of me so you lessened their fear by belittling me, the threat. It makes sense." Blake didn't know how to reply. Amber noted this, and changed the subject. "You and I arent so different Blake."

"How so?"

"You'd do anything to protect your little sister."

"And you'd do anything to protect your little brother."

"No matter what it takes." She looked threatening, but before Blake could respond, the sleeping girl who the two young adults sat beside began to scream. Bellamy was first to her aid.

"Charlotte, wake up." He pressed his hands onto her legs, and her eyes fluttered open as she sat up.

"I'm sorry." Charlotte's small voice squeaked.

"Does it happen often? The nightmares?" Amber asked, inching closer, Bellamy noticed her expression, she was concerned. Did she have nightmares too? Charlotte only sighed, this little girl was stubborn. Maybe, just maybe, Bellamy thought Amber may see herself in this little girl.

"What are you scared of?" Bellamy questioned. When Charlotte didn't reply he spoke again, "You know what? It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you do about it."

"But…I'm asleep." Her brows drew together.

Blake shook his head, "Fears are fears." Amber watched as the boy talking turned his eyes to her for a moment, and fell back upon Charlotte's as he continued to speak, "Slay your demons when you're awake,—" Amber froze, "—They won't be there to get you when you're asleep."

"Yeah, but…how?" Charlotte queried. Amber let the two speak, she couldn't help but observe the careful way Blake spoke to the kid, for somebody so easily dislikable to Amber she was beginning to see him differently, much to her dismay.

"You can't afford to be weak. Down here, weakness is death." Blake explained, and Amber hadn't stopped staring at him. "Let me see that knife I gave you." Charlotte reach for her knife and handed it to the boy, he grabbed it and held it forward. "Now when you feel afraid, hold on tight to that knife and you say, screw you, I'm not afraid."

Then, Amber was there. It came in a blink, she was there in front of the three doctors. They all stared at her, she must have looked like a rabid animal. Her hair was matted and she was caked in dust and blood. She looked like she was dying.

"Please, help me." She whimpered, unable to get the words out.

"What's your name? Where are your parents?" One of the female doctors stepped towards the small, shaken teenage girl, but she stepped back. She looked no older than 16, little did they know she was 19.

"It doesn't matter, I need food." She demanded, not knowing how to use manners.

"I'm sorry darling but we need to access your file before we issue you rations or give you medical attention to see what we can or cant use on you." Another said. Amber became angry.

"I need you to listen to me. My parents are dead. My brother is dead. I need food—" Amber coughed, her dry lips split and began to bleed, "Water, give me water!" She yelled harshly, causing them all to take a step back.

"Okay, okay. We're going to need you to calm down." A male doctor spoke then, stepping forward with his arms reaching out for her. "Just give us your name and we can help you."

"You won't find my name." Mumbling, she turned away, and so did the three medics who whispered among themselves, Amber overheard something about them calling the guard, and her heart began to race. There was a table to her left beside a cabinet, and it had scalpels and surgery tools ready to go. She took a blade without thinking twice. Amber's vision was blurry, it was hard to breathe. She felt her legs give out on her, but she managed to keep stumbling forward. Something overcame her, she had no energy yet she felt so hyperreal. The scalpel was clutched in her hand, she held it tight, and she was not afraid. She was angry.

Amber gasped lightly at the vision that overcame her, and realised that Blake was now putting Charlotte back to sleep. He rested himself back against the cave wall, right beside where Amber sat. Their closeness was suddenly all Amber could focus on. She watched as Blake closed his eyes, and she questioned whether she should move away or not. She felt awkwardly stuck, but tired beyond words could describe so she decided to give in to her exhaustion and fall asleep.

And when she woke up in the morning, she was warm. Her small frame rested against a pillow of warmth, she felt…calm. Safe. She had never felt so well rested before. Then, it hit her. She was not in a bed, she was in a cave. There were no pillows, and no blankets. Her eyes shot open upon her realisation. Her body froze completely, Blake's arm curled around her shoulder, and her head rested in the crook of his neck. Their bodies together formed the warmth Amber had mistaken for a blanket. She felt her cheeks flush, and her stomach flip. Her mind raced as she panicked, questioning how the fuck they ended up like this. His arm was too tight around her to move without waking him. And, she thought if he woke in the positition they were in right then he would be disgusted, and never look her in the eye ever again, not that she wanted him to look her in the eye in the first place, but whatever. She had to do something. Thinking fast, she faked a very loud and obnoxious yawn, arching her back and stretching her arms out slowly to get out of his grip in the most casual way possible, attempting to avoid the awkward moment that was soon to be inevitable. Just the day prior they had mutual feelings of distrust towards eachother, and yet overnight they cuddled together. Amber felt her body shiver with what she could understand was disgust, and once she felt Blake wake, she began to shuffle away. She watched, somewhat inconspiculously, as he opened his eyes. He looked down to the area of his body that Amber previously was pressed against and frowned, furrowing his eyes. He too, was confused, she realised. Amber, avoiding his eye contact as he slowly gathered himself, rubbed her eyes. Faking another yawn, she stretched her body once more.

"Goodmorning." Charlotte grumbled upon hearing Amber's movements, her body still neatly curled up and her eyes still closed.
"The fogs cleared, when you're ready let's head off." Blake said looking at the cave entrence, returning to his officious self. Charlotte mumbled something that sounded like an 'okay' and Amber nodded, standing. She obnoxiously twisted her back, allowing it to crack, and picked her knife up off the ground, tucking it into her waistband, all while obvilous to the fact that Blake was watching her intently.

Bellamy thought he was dreaming a weird, unsolicited dream when he woke in the middle of the night and was holding Amber close to him, but the way she was acting at present told him that it wasn't a dream at all. He watched her as she cracked her back, the daylight from outside crept its way into the cave, illuminating Amber. He eyed her wrists, the one covered in a makeshift bandage, he understood the injury that was hidden beneath was from the lakemonster. Her other wrist, the one with her wristband, was scratched and raw. There it was again, that feeling in his stomach.

Charlotte woke, standing and stretching, almost copying Amber's first movements when she first stood up that morning. The small girl smiled at Bellamy, and handed his jacket back to him. Blake finally stood, standing beside Charlotte who stared at Amber, who tucked her grey shirt into her worn jeans, and begun to walk towards the cave opening.

"It's all clear." She said, and stepped forward. The sunlight hit her skin and she felt its warmth envelope her. She tried to not let it garner memories of waking up feeling the same sensation.

"Anybody out here?!" Blake yelled, joining Amber's side. "Jones?!"

In the distance suddenly the three heard a loud call, 'Over here!'

The three jogged, Blake at the front and Amber fell behind at the back, putting Charlotte between them. It wasn't that she felt uncomfortable around Blake, it was something else, something in her stomach she had never experienced before, and she hated it.

Meeting three of Blake's minions, Bellamy released a sigh of relief. "Lost you in the stew. Where'd you go?" He asked.

"Made it to a cave down there." One kid who held a sharpened pipe said. "The hell was that?"

"I don't know." Blake replied honestly, "Where's Atom?" He asked, realising his friend was missing.

The look on the kids face said something. Something not good at all. Blake stiffened, and Amber spoke for him.

"Let's find him then." The three teenagers looked at Amber, and she remembered who she was known as. It's almost as if she forgot it overnight. But, the teenagers knew they needed to find Atom, and they nodded. Amber started forward, remembering the coughing and struggling she heard when they were running from the fog, and begun to prepare herself to see a dead body.

And after not even a minute of walking, Amber had reached a downward slope towards a clearing where a body lay almost motionless, covered in blisters and burnt skin. She stopped at first sight, her heart jumping even though she knew what was coming. She remained eerily calm however, just staring from above. It was when Charlotte screamed she realised Atom was still breathing.

End of Chapter

A/N: Let me know if you're loving or hating it! Almost at 100 followers! Wow, thankyou all so much. Lots of love.