The Cost of Pride

by megatoxic

Fallen finds herself in Thedas and is completely unprepared. Sure, she knows the story and she's played the game, but this is no game. This is life and death. Can The Dread Wolf help her or will he be her biggest enemy?

8. How It's Wielded

The Cost of Pride

Megatoxic

*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters or themes. Fallen is mine, but completely inspired by my favorite RPG game.*

[This chapter will continue a very light amount of in game dialogue. I realize that at certain points this will have to happen to stay true to the timeline and characters; however, I will try to keep it as light as possible.]

Chapter 8: How It's Wielded

I was lying in a meadow filled with wildflowers and sunshine. The sky was a crystal clear baby blue with the most beautiful, fluffy clouds floating by. I felt perfectly at peace for the first time in forever. I was wearing a simple white gossamer dress that fell down to my ankles. I should have felt very exposed, but I spun around allowing my dress to swirl around me in the most carefree manner.

I laid down gracefully on my back amidst the flowers. They smelt so lovely, and I could hear the sounds of two birds singing to each other nearby. I felt a sudden shift in the air beside me and when I turned my head I found Solas lying in the grass beside me. He was wearing a loose white tunic that was a match to the material of my dress, black pants, and the usual jawbone necklace rested on his chest. He looked so handsome, and I remembered that my dress was basically see through. I hastily covered my chest as my cheeks warmed.

"You are so beautiful. There is no reason to feel ashamed vhenan," he said in a silky voice. He reached up and ran a hand through my curls which were down and spilling over my shoulders. "Vhenan?" I asked weakly, "Since when have you considered me as such? Surely, you would not consider someone you don't even fully trust to be your 'heart.'" He smiled lazily as his hand continued to run through my hair, "I have thought of you as such since I first laid eyes on you."

As romantic and perfect as that sounded, that was also the moment that I realized I was in the fade and this was definitely not Solas. "Wrong again demon," I slapped his, it's, hand away, "you have nothing I want." The demon posing as Solas laughed darkly, "I think you and I both know that's not true mutt." I bristled at the demon's slur, "I will not give in to you! I said be gone from here!" It was chilling to see the murderous look the demon plastered onto Solas' face, "Very well, I shall leave, but I will be watching. When he decides that he's done with you feel free to seek out my company."

The creature wearing his face leaned in as if to kiss me and I struck out with my hand, "Don't you dare!" As my hand struck his face, he dissolved. I was alone again in my beautiful meadow. It was not the same though. There seemed to be a taint lingering in the air as if the demon had crushed the magic of the place. I dropped my head into my hands and began to weep. Why was I asleep and still so unbelievably tired?

When I started to wake, I tried to fight it. More sleep would be lovely, but I was also afraid of more demons. No wards had been placed as I had heard Cassandra discussing before I gave in to my exhaustion. I needed to get my shit together. I opened my eyes to see that I was laying on my side in the tent facing Solas. He still appeared to be asleep and he looked so fascinatingly peaceful. This made him look younger in the face and I took a second to enjoy it.

I pushed myself up into a sitting position and focused my attention to his wound. It looked to be almost completely healed and at any rate the stitches could certainly go as they were basically falling out anyways. I assumed that in less than twenty four hours he would be completely healed without a scar to show for it. A perk of being immortal, I mused to myself. I scooted closer to his side and I began working on removing the remaining stitches that were still embedded in his skin. After I had pulled out three, I felt a hand grab my wrist and my gaze met his as he awoke.

"Please, be still Solas. I am trying to remove your stitches," my voice sounded very dry and broken in the small tent, and my throat flared with agony as I spoke. "Stitches? How long have I been out?" he asked softly. "I am hoping we've only slept for a day, but I haven't been outside the tent yet. I wanted to check on you first," I answered as I continued my work. I could tell he was trying to decide how to respond especially since his injury seemed to have healed itself. The speechless and unsure wolf look did not become him.

I was pulling the last stitch out when he finally responded, "Thank you. I have always been a fast healer. I will heal it completely later." I vaguely wondered if that sounded as lame and unconvincing to him as it did to me. I simply nodded my head at him before starting to turn to exit the tent. "Wait!" Solas exclaimed. "Your neck Fallen," his long artist's fingers pointed at my abused neck. "I wanted to crush him when I saw him choking you, but I had to deal with The Herald's head wound first," his tone implied that he was looking for forgiveness.

If he wanted to ignore the elephant in the room then I guess I could as well, "You have nothing to explain Solas. Ellana has the mark. She is the most important person in Thedas right now. She must always come first." He looked down for a second and then met my eyes again, "May I heal it?" I nodded, "I would not complain, but please if you are too drained…" I didn't finish my sentence before I felt his hands slid around my neck followed by the soothing rush of his magic. "I will manage," he replied as he worked on my neck.

The relief that followed his healing magic was swift and soothing to my frayed nerves. "There are some things you and I should clear up before we leave this tent," he said to me calmly, but I could detect a tiny hint of nerves in his tone as well. Disappointment descended on me as his hands left my neck, "What would these things be Solas?" I rubbed my hands over my newly healed neck in fascination. "What you did during the battle, that firestorm, it will raise questions and I am sure that Cassandra will want answers for it," he was holding my gaze steadily.

"Can I not just tell her that you shared mana with me?" I asked with a small shrug, "Surely, I am not the first mage to use that kind of magic before, and especially in the face of death." I could tell that he was debating mentally on how he should share his knowledge with me. "Fallen, you started the firestorm without my assistance. When I felt you might push yourself too far, I reached out to help you," he was speaking to me like I was missing the bigger picture, and maybe I was. After all, I hadn't been around magic or mages my whole life like they all had.

Solas sighed and continued, "The magic you used is extremely rare today. I have seen such in my journeys through the fade, but currently no mage wields that much power at once. The seeker will have felt the power as you pulled from the fade because her abilities as a seeker allow her to do so. Also, you must never mention to her that we share mana with each other." I blinked at him curiously, "Any why is that?" "Because it is forbidden within the circles. In fact, most mages today have no idea how to do so which is why I was so taken with surprise when you managed to bond with me so effortlessly the first time. You did not have to be shown how," he said a little proudly.

I stared at him for a minute wordlessly. He was still shirtless and my eyes roamed his side, "Very well then. I will do as you ask and not mention the 'bond' as you call it." He nodded his head in relief, and seemed as if he would like to stand. I quickly got to my feet and held out a hand to help him up. As he was getting to his feet, I took my shot, "You should consider how you are going to explain being healed so quickly. You can tell them that you healed it yourself, but I am no fool." With that, I turned on my heels and left the tent quickly. I could only assume that wolves could pounce quickly if cornered.

_

Four days later, I was exhausted. I had never walked so much in my life. My blisters had their own blisters and I was pretty sure that I was forever encrusted in a case of sweat. Solas had avoided me like the plague after our conversation in the tent that fateful morning after the attack, and Cassandra was watching me like a hawk. She had interrogated me about what I had done, and I kept it as vague as possible acting as dumbfounded as I could. I was almost positive she thought I was possessed though or at the very least conversing with demons.

"We're getting close Halfling," Varric chirped upwards at me. "How can you tell?" I asked curiously. "The banner lethallan,"Ellana responded from my other side. I looked to where she was pointing and I saw an Inquisition banner flying on a hill. "We'll go up there and set up a base camp for tonight since it's so close," she directed. As we got closer, I saw a dwarven woman approaching us with strawberry blond braids twisted up on her head and I could have squealed with delight! "Hello Herald, I am Inquisition Scout Harding," she said merrily. "Have you ever been to Hightown?" Varric asked right on cue. "No, why do you ask?" she inquired curiously. "Because then you'd be harding in… oh never mind," he sounded displeased that she didn't figure it out on her own. As Cassandra let out her disgusted 'ugh,' I giggled. Varric turned and winked at me.

After Harding and Ellana swapped the expected banter, we began the descent down the hill to the Crossroads. Somehow, I ended up in the back walking beside Solas. Neither of us said a word as we fell into step with one another. When I was visually able to recognize that we were closer, I began hearing the sounds of fighting. I tensed at the thought. After the last experience, I was honestly terrified. "It will be fine da'len. Stay beside me," Solas' voice was welcoming amidst my fear as was his hand on the small of my back trying to offer a moment's comfort.

I noticed Ellana had pulled her daggers off of her back and I lost her once she slipped into stealth mode. Cassandra readier her shield as she pulled her sword from its sheath, and Varric removed Bianca from his back. I met Solas' gaze as he palmed his staff. I followed his lead and removed mine from its back strap as we stepped into the Crossroads.

It was utter chaos. Mages and Templars were rushing from everywhere. I quickly threw up a barrier around me and my companions. I heard Cassandra yell, "Mages we mean you no harm." To which Solas responded with, "I do not believe they care seeker." I tried to float around the outskirts of the battle to keep the barriers going, but I threw a few fireballs as needed. I was taken by surprise when I suddenly felt a metal hand on my arm. My heart sped up drastically.

With little thought of anything other than being free from harm's way, I reached further into my power and watched in a combination of amazement and horror as chain lightening left my body and lit up the metal templar now in front of me. I saw him hit the ground with his eyes wide and unmoving. I knew logically that he would have killed me, but I still felt a pain at the wasted life. What if this man had children at home? Had I taken someone's father as mine had been taken from me?

I looked up in a daze to see that the fight was over. How long had I been standing there frozen? Ellana was across from me with a sympathetic look in her eyes. Her daggers and hands were bloody and her usually smooth braid was frazzled. She was about to speak to me when I cut her off, "I'm fine. Please… find Mother Giselle." She nodded at me once and turned to speak to an agent behind her. Cassandra had wiped off her sword and was now by my side, "Your magic is becoming quite formidable. There is no doubt in my mind that you would make an excellent battlemage."

I shook my head 'no' adamantly, "I don't have the heart for it Cassandra." She considered me carefully for a minute before speaking her mind, "There is pride to be found in strength and power. Be it a shield, dagger, arrow, or a fireball our foes must be defeated. It is true that I am a bit disturbed by the rapid growth and strength of your magic, but when we needed it most we were not let down. I know that you are also afraid. I can read it all over your face. I want you to know that you are bigger than your power. You decide how it's wielded and you will keep it under control." I felt tears attempting to take over my vision and I quickly swallowed them down. Now was not the time or place, "Thank you Cassandra."

Ellana did the expected script with Mother Giselle, and instructed us to head back to the camp that we had met Harding at while she and Cassandra handled a few more matters at the Crossroads. I was more than happy to comply with her orders. Solas and Varric kept themselves busy around camp, and when the sky started to darken I was aware that Ellana and Cassandra were back at camp.

I tried to push myself out of my funk to pay attention. Solas had sat down next to me at the fire and handed me some sort of hearty soup in a wooden bowl. It smelled decent enough and I was starving at that point so I wasn't too picky. There was a slight breeze in the darkness, and I was surprised when Solas moved closer so that our sides were touching. He touched a small piece of log between us and an orange symbol flared up for a second before disappearing. Then my rear became beautifully warm. I sighed in contentment as Solas chuckled. "You have to teach me that," I pleaded softly. Solas smirked at me in the firelight, "Wards first Halfling. You will set them before we sleep tonight."

I was startled and a little pleased at his use of Varric's nickname for me when I heard a throat nearby clear pointedly. I looked up to see Ellana waiting expectantly for everyone's attention. When she appeared satisfied that she had it she spoke, "Mother Giselle will be heading to Haven to join our cause. My party and I have a few matters to attend before returning ourselves. There are people here who are suffering and we, The Inquisition, will be the ones to give them hope. I also intend to speak with Master Dennett before we leave. I'm sure all our feet will appreciate that. Harding, please make sure that word gets back to the advisors of our actions and intentions. As for my traveling companions… I hope you guys like the Hinterlands because we're going to be here for a while."

Translations

Vhenan heart

Lethallan someone with whom one is familiar with

Da'len little child; little one

Resource

http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language