The Cost of Pride

by megatoxic

Fallen finds herself in Thedas and is completely unprepared. Sure, she knows the story and she's played the game, but this is no game. This is life and death. Can The Dread Wolf help her or will he be her biggest enemy?

9. It Doesn't Mean Anything

The Cost of Pride

Megatoxic

*Disclaimer: I do not own any Bioware/DA characters or themes. Fallen is mine, but completely inspired by my favorite RPG game.*

Chapter 9: It Doesn't Mean Anything

Ellana had been very true to her word about spending some major time in the Hinterlands. The truth was that the timeline the game presented to the players was a load of shit. As much as it reminded me of home, after six weeks I was ready for the relative peace of Haven away from the blasted Hinterlands. Our party had worked tirelessly to make a significant difference in the area. We had collected ram meat for the hungry and we had marked the land accordingly for the watch towers needed for the farm. With any luck, in a month or so we would be back for mounts. We had also managed to close four rifts so far, and I had to admit that it was much cooler up close and personal. As far as Ellana and the mark anyways, but of course the demon part of rift closing was absolutely exhausting.

My magic was really best in combat, and I hated to admit it but Casandra was right. I was very strong with battle magic. I exceeded at assisting with closing the rifts. It was a lot easier for me to slay a demon than a person. Solas and I continued to share mana unbeknown to our companions. When he was looking tired, which was much less often than myself, I would push out towards him and vice versa. We had both become extremely good at not showing outwardly how the bond affected us. I had also been setting the wards at night since that first night as the Crossroads. I still insisted that Solas put me to sleep at night though since my last experience in the fade had put me face-to-face with a demon.

At the beginning of our seventh week, Ellana made an announcement over dinner at camp. "We are going to start heading back to Haven. I need to consult with the advisors and plan. Plus, we all look like we could use a break," she said with and exhausted tone to her voice. "I can back that plan," Varric stated from across the fire pit. Solas and I were sitting on our usual log side-by-side. It was a little odd that we had adopted was of being together comfortably. Part of me was quite sure that was exactly what he wanted, but it was really hard to fight it with our bond that was growing every day. In fact, it felt more natural than the two physical relationships I had been in previously and there was absolutely no such activities going on between us. Not that I hadn't thought about it, I mean, I was still a woman with a heart pumping blood through her veins.

"Some rest from traveling would be nice," Solas offered. Cassandra looked at him carefully from Ellana's side, "I pictured you being more comfortable on the road Solas." I wanted to hi-five her in that moment for catching the wolf, but Solas was as slick as ever. "Consider me spoiled by the Inquisition," he chuckled handsomely. I almost rolled my eyes as him, but decided against it. Instead, I stood up and stretched, "Well, I'm gonna go lay down on that note." Ellana raised her eyebrows at me, "What? Have you been spoiling Solas behind our backs Fallen?" The suggestive tone of her questioning made me blush, "I didn't… What I meant is… Damn it Ell, I was referring to the note of heading back to Haven in the morning!" They all began laughing hysterically at my expense. I turned on my heel and stomped into our tent to escape them.

I quickly set about putting the wards in place so that I could lay down for the night. Frankly, I had enough of just about everything to last a life time. After I had set the last ward, I looked around the tent Solas and I shared. The tents were much bigger than the game led you to believe, and once set in an area they stayed up. I could stand comfortably inside ours; although, I had notice that Solas had to slouch a bit. There were two bed rolls with furs in the middle maybe a foot apart from each other. On Solas' side there was always a stack of books and mine always had a messy pile of clothes.

I felt a slight draft behind me as Solas entered the tent. He looked at me hesitantly for a minute, "They were only teasing Fallen. Did it upset you?" I shook my head, "I'm only tired. I was a little embarrassed because I know what people assume about us, but honestly I'm not mad." He nodded in acknowledgement as he tied the tent flaps closed. He then made his way to his bed roll's side and began getting comfortable for the night. I was getting used to the sight of him shirtless at night so I turned my back to him and began focusing on my own comfort.

I slipped out of my brown vest and black tunic. Underneath, I had on a plan black tank top of sorts. I left my breast band on as always, but I hastily shimmed out of my form fitting pants and opted for a pair of knee-length shorts that Cassandra had given me from her supply. They reminded me of yoga shorts and they were beyond comfortable. When I turned around, Solas was already laying on top of his roll. He was shirtless as I suspected and his necklace looked delicious against his bare skin. He had a book about blood magic in one hand and with his other he conjured a small glowing ball of light that bobbed next to his head so that he could read in the growing darkness.

I had just settled into my own roll when I heard scrapping at our tent flap and a familiar voice break our silence, "Alright you two make room in your nest." Solas got up and opened the flap to provide a view of Varric in a pair of pajamas with a bed roll and furs in his hands. "What is this Varric?" Solas asked neutrally. "I can't take anymore of listening to those two elegant ladies snore at night. I know it has to drive the night watch crazy," the dwarf said as he pushed past Solas and snorted at the last part. He made a 'shooing' motion at me to move my roll closer to Solas' spot and I complied. Solas had closed out tent up again and resumed his spot and position in his roll reading. Our bed rolls and furs were touching now and I tried not to focus on it. "I am ready to sleep now," I directed at the elf. "Very well then, sleep well Fallen," he replied easily.

I looked at him in confusion, "You aren't gonna put me to sleep?" He lowered his book and met my eyes, "You are more than ready to start sleeping without my assistance. Your wards are strong and will keep the demons at bay, but you cannot hid from the fade forever. You are a mage and it is part of who you are." Varric shifted from my other side, "Alright, let's keep the magic shit to a minimum while I'm present please." Solas gave his usual chuckle, "You have no reason to worry Varric." I heard the dwarf give a huff and mumble something under his breath, but I couldn't make out what it was. Solas seemed to have heard though because he shook his head with a smirk.

I tossed and turned for some time in restlessness. Maybe Solas was right and I had become dependent on him getting me to sleep. As the night fell to pitch black outside, Varric started to snore in his sleep. The little hypocrite. Solas extinguished his light after putting his book away and covered his bare chest with his furs, "You are thinking about it too hard. Relax and let the fade rush up to take you," his voice was soft in the silence of the tent. Shortly after, I heard the rhythm of his soft and even breathing join Varric's snores. Eventually, my eyes closed and I stated to drift into sleep.

/

I was jolted awake suddenly by a loud thunder clap. Rain was pelting down on our tent roughly and I was amazed that it wasn't bowing under the pressure. I sat up in my roll and was astonished that Varric was still blissfully asleep and snoring away. The tent seemed to have become colder in the storm, and my exposed bare skin prickled. I brushed my sloppy curls away from my face and jumped again with a gasp as the thunder cracked again outside. I simply wasn't used to having so little protection between myself and a storm.

I was startled again when I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, and I followed it to find Solas looking at me with sleepy concern. "Fallen are you alright? I tried to seek you out in the fade, but I could not find you." I shivered from his touch and the cold as I responded in a trembling voice, "I never made it that far. As soon as I started to sleep the storm woke me up." As if to emphasize my point, the tent lit up briefly from overhead lightening and something cracked close by. I let out a low moan and unintentionally moved closer to him. "Do not fear da'len. Our tents are enchanted to withstand the elements," he said soothingly. The combination of his accent and the way he always spoke calmed me a bit. We were so close now that I could feel the heat coming off of his bare chest and his breath was tickling my nose. "You could climb in my roll if that would give you any comfort?" he offered.

I felt my breath hitch and my brain froze for a minute. "Only if you want to Fallen. If you think it will help," he offered reasonably. I was positively certain that it would do nothing to help our situation, but I was cold and honestly I did feel soothed by his presence. I cast a glance at the sleeping member in our area, "What about Varric?" Solas shrugged in the dark, "I care little what the child of the stone thinks." I breathed deep to calm my nerves and I instructed the inner fangirl in me who had romanced him a dozen times to take a backseat, "Okay, I would like that as long as you're okay with it, and you know that it doesn't mean anything." I could feel the smugness coming off of him even in the dark as he gave a sarcastic reply, "I would not assume anything of the sort."

He lifted up the corner of his furs closest to me and scooted over. I tried very hard not to think about how he was half-naked. I slid my legs in next to his and when my feet touched the side of his legs he hissed, "Your toes are frozen!" I couldn't help the giggle that escaped from me, but it was quickly cut off by more thunder. He wrapped his warm arms around me and his hand brushed through my hair calmingly. My nose was at his collarbone in our position and his necklace was pushing into my breasts he was holding me so tight. "Relax, you are safe. This will pass as all storms do. Join me in the fade Fallen. I would love to see you there. As unique as you are here, I have no doubt you will be a sight to behold in the fade. Vir sumeil," his voice reassured me and I had to convince myself that my heart was pounding so fiercely from fear of the storm alone. He smelled of the outside and another muskier scent that was both distinctly male and Solas at the same time. I nuzzled deeper into his neck and relaxed my body. My last conscious thought was about how foolish it was to become so attached to the ultimate betrayer.

I was in my meadow again, but the tainted feeling that the demon had left behind last time I was here was gone. There was simply peace and my wildflowers. I was pleased to see that I was dressed more modestly as well in my red sundress that hadn't survived the trip into Thedas. I sighed in contentment and sat down in the grass enjoying the breeze that blew my curls away from my face. From the edge of the forest surrounding my meadow, I saw Solas appear. He was wearing a distinctly elven tunic in a shade of green with leaf patterns at the hems. He had on what appeared to be a pair of soft matching leggings and his usual foot wraps as well. His eyes were searching my space critically and when they landed on me I waved shyly.

When he was close enough, he sat down across from me. "This is a lovely space that you have here da'len. Is this a place from your home?" he inquired curiously. I felt a wide smile on my lips, "No, not that I remember anyways. This I just what I imagine my 'happy place' to be like when I go there mentally." He looked a little put out by my response. Clearly, it still bothered him that nothing could be found on my past. "Da'len means child doesn't it?" I asked redirecting the conversation. "Or little one," he replied. I raised an eyebrow, "Oh and which am I to you?" He smirked knowingly at me, "A bit of both I believe." I rolled my eyes, "What's the elven word for old man?" He laughed out boldly and I found that I enjoyed the sound very much. "If it pleases you call me hahren. It means elder," he provided with sarcasm.

"Hmmm, jokes on you hahren. I think it suits you," I joked wickedly. He picked a nearby flower and twirled it absent-mindedly, "How old are you da'len?" "I am twenty-six and how old are you hahren?" I answered throwing the ball back into his court. I wondered how honest he would be, and he surprised me with his response. "I am older than twice your age." "You don't look it at all," I answered back promptly. He smiled back evenly, "That doesn't bother you?" "What? Your age or you not looking it?" I countered. He chuckled, "Either?" "Well, we have all assumed that you were older just not that much," I shrugged, "It really doesn't bother me other than I feel my experiences could never measure up to yours, and I see nothing wrong with your appearance. Didn't elves used to be immortal anyways?" His smile faltered and I instantly regretted digging in such a way. "We once were it is true. We certainly age slower than humans and dwarves on average now. Even you, who are only half-blooded, look younger than your actual years," he allowed with pain in his voice.

As someone who had played Trespasser, I knew what Solas was capable of and what he had done. After my first play through, I had been infuriated with him, but over time and especially now looking into his broken eyes I felt for him. He wasn't evil, but simply misguided. I didn't believe that I was special enough to get him to change his plans. If Lavellan hadn't been enough then my ass certainly wouldn't be, but maybe I could return the favor and offer him comfort. "Could you tell me about them?" I asked. His blue eyes met my brown ones and he looked pleased, "You honestly wish to know?" I missed the truth with story as I was now used to doing, "My mother never spoke about her people. I always felt like she was ashamed of me." Solas nodded in understanding, "To be different is to inspire fear. I will tell you what I have learned in the fade. Eventually, I can show you as you master the fade." I smiled warmly at him, "I would like that very much." He spent hours in the fade that first night telling me about Arlathan and the ancient elves that walked it.

When I awoke, the tent was starting to glow from the soft light of dawn. Even though I had been in the fade with Solas for what felt like hours, I could tell that my body was still very exhausted. My legs were threaded through his, and somehow we had ended up spooning. My back was to his chest and his arms were wrapped firmly around me. It had been three years since I had last slept next to a man and I had forgotten how nice it could feel. I felt him begin to stir behind me just as I saw a dwarf pop up from his bedroll. Varric stretched his arms up as high as he could and blinked around sleepily. When his eyes landed on us, I felt my cheeks burn intensely. "Well, well, well what have we here?" the storyteller mocked.

Translations

Da'len: little child; little one

Vir sumeil: we are close

Hahren: elder; leader

Arlathan: the major city of Elvhenan

Resource

http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language