The Cost of Pride

Megatoxic

*Disclaimer: Bioware owns Dragon Age.*

Chapter 14: Token of the Packmaster (Meet Alpha)

I learned quickly the next morning that having a menstral cycle in times where basic hygiene was at a minimum sucked. Cleaning up the mess my body had made for me in my sleep was a disgusting affair, and it didn't help that I was moody and cramping intensely. Once we were all packed up and ready to travel, I double checked in my pack that my feminine supplies were good to go. I hadn't asked Solas where he had gotten them and I was afraid to do so if I was honest. I had put on my battlemage armor again and my hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail. Overall, I was sure that I looked like a hot mess.

"Well, the wolves lair is close enough to walk to so we'll save the horses for later," Ellana stated and began leading the way down a rocky slope. We had barely gone down halfway when Ellana stopped holding up a hand for us to 'halt' and Solas spoke softly from my side, "A rift ahead Herald?" Ellana nodded, "Perhaps it is related to the wolves behavior?" Solas shifted his weight and removed hi staff, "It is always possible."

We moved forward as always, Cassandra in front with Ellana silent and deadly behind her. Varric staying behind a bit to find a vantage point and Solas and I trying to balance our distance away from close contact with our need to be close enough for the effectiveness of our spells. We all realized quickly that this rift was a little stronger than the others we had encountered so far. There were the usual annoying, but managable, terror demons and then a new one emerged. They had on ragged hooded cloaks and teleported across the battlefield quickly. "Watch out for despair!" Solas shouted to us. We quickly learned why.

The tricky bitches could shoot out one hell of an ice blast. I threw a barrier around Cassandra hastily as I saw one on the second wave turn it's attention her way. The demon screeched in frustration and blinked out of sight. I spun around desperately looking for it when I heard Varric shout at me, "Halfling, she's coming up behind you!" I turned quickly while trying to throw up a barrier, but I wasn't fast enough and the ice hit my left arm freezing it solid. I had never felt anything like it in my life and an agony filled scream escaped my lips.

My companions quickly closed in on it and the I heard the usual humming as Ellana closed the rift. Solas dropped to the ground beside me and directed his attention to my frozen arm, "It will be okay. We can fix this, but it must be done carefully and quickly." I felt him open up to me and I accepted his power and the rush that came with it. In return, I pushed back until our power blended into that beautiful and terribly addicting way that I had grown to love.

Ellana knelt by my other side, "Well, what do we do old man?" Her big green eyes looked fearful for the fate of my arm. "We do nothing Herald. Fallen, you must heat up your arm with fire. You must do it quickly, but qith enough control that you do not end up boiling your own blood," Solas told me directly. I looked at him is disbelief, "Why can't you do it?" His blue eyes looked at me softly, "Only you know the limits of what you can take because you can physically feel that threshold. If you were not a mage I had faith in then I would do it for you." So that is why he linked with me, I acknowledge internally.

"He is right," Cassandra informed us. She was standing above us with Varric at her side. "It will hurt either way tthough," she added sympathetically. I look at Ellana and she gripped my hand firmly in response, "You can do this lethallan. You must!" I braced myself, released her hand, and sent heat into that free hand. I began running up and down my frozen arm with my firey hand. At first, I could feel no difference as the ice started to melt away and then suddenly... I could definitely feel a difference.

It fely like the pins and needles that you get when your leg goes to sleep only this was intensified a thousand fold to the point of pain. I gritted my teeth to bite back the yell trying to escape and I felt Solas helping to keep the power and mana I was using steady. Once the ice had disappeared visibly I almost stopped before Solas spoke up, "You must push a little farther. The muscles must be freed and the circulation musmust return entirely." So, I pushed on and by the time I could move my arm and fingers my face was in covered in tears. I released the mana in exhaustion and allowed Ellana to embrace me and rock me calmly. I felt like a small child and a major wuss.

"You did well Fallen," Solas stated. I shook a little and wiped my eyes, "I am sorry. You all have to think I'm so weak." Varric handed me the flask he was always carrying around, "Not a bit Halfling. Most of the grown men I know wouldn't have been able to do that by themselves." I wanted to tell them that I had help, but I remembered Solas' warning about our sharing and I instead took a quick swig from the flask. The liqour burned my throat on the way down and I coughed. "Thanks Varric. You have no idea how much I needed that," I told him as I handed back the flask. "Any time pretty lady," he said with a wink.

*

I had been terrified when the despair demon had hit Fallen, but I had been impressed and proud of her control and endurance. I had barely needed to help her control the flow of the power needed to do the job. Also, I was able to feel her pain so I admired her for withstanding it. She was a strong and intriguing little mage. As we continued on our way, I could tell that her arm was still sore and that he moon cycle was bothering her as well. Every step she took looked as if it sent her a jolt of discomfort in a couple of places.

I had promised her that I would make the fertility control draught for her when we returned to Haven and I meant it wholeheartedly. I could techniqually have had my agents bring me the ingredients then, but it would have looked suspecious to anyone who knew what all was in it. Chances were that Ellana and Cassandra had used it at some point or at least knew about it. Another benefit of her taking it would be that we would not have to worry about any accidents when the time came. Our relationship was changing steadily, but only a fool could not see where it was heading. I had not fathered children in my long life and I planned to keep it that way.

We could tell that we were getting close to the wolves lair when we started to see animal bones everywhere. "Fallen, ma falon please stay back and avoid direct engagement," the Herald ordered her kindly and to my relief she inclined her head in obedience. We made quick work of the few wolves outside the cave and a part of me was sad that taking their lives was neccessary. "Did you see their eyes?" I asked the group.

"They were glowing," the seeker replied. "Precisely, I believe they are being controlled by a demon. If we kill the demon then this maddness will stop," I encouraged. Ellana shuddred and looked my way, "If we have to kill them all then we will Solas. Wolves are bad luck and the creatures of the Dread Wolf himself." Before I could react, Fallen stepped towars her friend looking aggitated, "Ell, we are talking about a demon that probably came from that rift you just closed. These wolves don't deserve this!" She placed her good hand on her arm, "None of us here are Dalish. We have no fear of Fen'harel and will not judge you for doing the right thing."

The Herald nodded, "Alright, let's go get this demon then." As we moved forward Fallen smiled at me and I returned it warmly. I was encouraged that she could sway the Herald do easily. I would not hesitate to use that knowledge when needed. We were not in the cave long before we discovered the terror demon. Fallen stayed back again and focused on barriers and support as we went to work.

When all was said and done, the demon was destroyed about six wolves walked away with their lives. We could hear them howling their thanks as we dispersed. "Good," Ellana declared happily while cleaning her daggers in the grass, "now we can go back to the farm and have mounts on their way to Haven. Then onward to Val Royeaux." As we turned to leave, Fallen stopped us with a shout, "Wait!" She clutched her throat and made her way towards the demon's remains. I peered curiously at them and back to her, "What is it?"

Her big eyes looked on eagerly, "I just saw something move." I heard a whisk sound as Cassandra unsheathed her swors again and moved in front of Fallen. "Well the damn thing is definitely dead," Varric noted. "I promise I saw something y'all," Fallen said with that strange accent of hers. She had barely spoke when a small yip came from the remains of the demon and a wolf pup popped out and landed at the seeker's feet. Fallen gasped and dropped to her knees beside the pup, "Awe, her mother must have been possessed. Wait, what's this?"

Her small finger pulled a pendant from around the pup's nack that was shaped like a tiny wolf. "I think it's enchanted," she said handing it my way. I reached out and touched it with my mana detecting a protection laid on it. "I believe it kept the wolves from attacking the demon," I answered. I extended my arm to hand it to the Herald who vehemently shook her head 'no.' "I will not wear the damned thing. I have enough worries without the Dread Wolf catching my scent," she declared with real fear in her voice. My anger flared at her ignorance. "I will take it," Fallen said hopefully. I nodded in acceptance, "It would look well on you."

She smiled and turned so I could tie it around her neck. When she turned back around to me, the little wooden wolf was resting just below her collar bone. "Now we match a little," she joked lightly touching my jawbone. The puo wiggled in her arms which brought forth the giggle I had grown to love. "Well, I think you're both crazy," Ellana said fiercely. "Good, then you will adore me for keeping her," Fallen responded pointing to her new charge. "Keep the beast out of my tent," Ellana warned heading out of the cave and back towards the horsemaster.

*

As we waited while Ellana and Cassandra spoke with Dennett and his wife, I played with my new friend. She was the cutest thing ever. I didn't know much about wolves, but I knew she was weaned by the way she eagerly chewed on my rations that I shared with her. Her fur was a dark jet black and her eyes were a deep blue that almost looked black. "Have you given her a name yet?" Varric asked as he leaned against the stable fence. I felt my mouth turn up in a smile, "Alpha."

Solas chuckled and looked my way, "And how do you know she is an alpha ma da'len?" I pointed to the wolf pendant on my chest, "The token of the packmaster told me so." Varric threw his hands up, "Oh no Halfling. Don't you dare let our Dalish leader hear that or she'll start screaming about that wolf-god again." I glanced at Solas and saw him his jaw biting back the words that were fighting to break through. I knew that had to be hard for him to take after everything he had done and hoped to do for the elves. Not to mention, his very name means 'pride.'

"The only way to change minds is to challenge them my dwarven friend," I replied in a sing-song voice. "Whose mind are we changing?" Ellana asked coming up behind me. Before I could speak, Solas interjected with, "No one's."

I looked his way sadly before adding, "It's nothing Ell. Everything good to go with the horses?" Cassandra's metal hand landed on Ellana's shoulder in a show of support, "Yes, the Herald managed to get the horses and the horsemaster himself." Ellana rolled her green eyes and smiled, "I figured he could use some time away from his charming wife." I shook my head and replied slyly, "I'm sure that just devastated you."

She winked a green eye at me, "Don't you know it! Let's go get our rides and hit the road. We stilk have half a day left and we need to cover some ground." I gulped nervously and followed her and the others to the stables. Alpha stayed with me running through my feet and I wondered how I was going yo transport her. Just as the thought entered my mind Solas approached me with a dark green piece of cloth in his hands. He stopped me a ways back from everyone else, "This is a foot wrap, but we can re-purpose it."

He gently folded it and wrapped it around my still sore arm and chest. With him so close, I could smell the clean smell that was him and healing elfroot. My eyes focused on his cleft chin and full lips. He followed my line of sight and I blushed crimson at being caught staring at him so intimately. His blue eyes crinkled in amusement, "There. Now your new friend will have a ride as well." He scooped Alpha up from my heels and placed her in the sling across my chest. Her big eyes blinked at us and her tiny ears were alert and perky. My heart doubled in size in that moment.

"Hey! You two fools c'mon!" Ellana yelled at us. I rolled my eyes at Solas in exasperation as we hurried to get to our mounts. Mine, picked for me might I add, was a black black stallion with a white spot on his forehead. He really was quite beautiful and if I had more experience perhaps I wouldn't have been terrified of him. "His name is Knight," the stable lad told me proudly and I hesitated when he went to give me his reins. "Can you help me get on him?" I asked as quitely as possible. The lad's eyes got wide, "Do you know how to ride miss?" I shivered a bit in nervousness, "I mean I get the theory. Some pointers would be nice though."

So while the others were discussing the best routes to take, a ten year old stable boy showed me how to take Knight's saddle on and off and gave me some basic riding instructions. I prayed to every god I could think of that it would be enough to help me not break my neck falling off the damn creature.

*

That night as I slid off Knight's back, I was sure that I was going to bawl like a baby as soon as I was alone. My legs and backs were killing me and I needed to change my makeshift pad desperately. Solas dismounted his brown mare and tied her to a nearby tree. She looked docile and calm. Knight hadn't done anything wrong that I noticed, but he was certainly more intimidating. Ellana was looking pleased as she tied her pure white stallion securely to a tree as Solas had done, "We're making good time. Two more days and we should reach the city."

I cringed at the thought of two more days in the saddle. I was certainly going to die. "Here let me show you," Solas kindly took Knight's reins and showed me the appropriate knot to tie him to a tree with. "Have you never ridden before lethallan?" Ellana asked me curiously. "Nope, not much," I replied as vaguely and casually as possible. Alpha stirred in her sling and I set her on the ground.

She yipped and started running around freely as we made camp. Ellana tried to ignore her completely and shoo-ed her away if she felt the pup was too close. Eventually, as we were settled and eating by the fire Alpha found a friend in Cassandra who kept sneaking her bites off her plate. I felt much better having attended to my lady situation, but my arm was still sore from the encounter that morning and my body felt like battered shit from riding.

"I could help with that," Solas suggested. I looked his way, "Help with what?" He waved the spoon he was eating with up and down, "Your body's discomfort." I raised my eyebrows, "And just how do you intend to do that?"

He places his plate on the ground and motioned for me to stand, "Get up and turn your back to me." I felt everyone's eyes on us as I did as he instructed. When my back was to him he instructed me again, "Take off your jacket." My skin rippled in anticipation as I removed my mage coat. Varric whistlex suggestively and I heard a smack as Ellana whacked him on the back of the head.

Then I fely Solas' magic on my body. I had connected with him and I had basked in his power, but I had never really felt his magic move over me. This was completely different than him putting me to sleep. This was intimate and I felt that he was testing me. The magic massaged into my muscles and his touch on my bare skin wouldn't have been more personal. When he made it to my lower back, I felt my eyes flutter close and a small unbidden moan escaped me.

By the time he had worked his magic down my thighs I was fighting to remain standing at all. When he withdrew his magic and resumed his seat I melted into mine. I felt all the eyes on us and even Alpha was looking in my direction with her cute little head tilted to the side. "What? None for me Chuckles?" Varric asked making Solas choke on his food.

Translations

Lethallan: someone with whom one is familiar

Ma Falon: My Friend

Ma Da'len: My Little One

Resource

http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language