Ok... so I know I promised Friday...but dropping kids home turned into an impromptu family bbq, yesterday was a right off because I was recovering from said bbq and then a friend called this morning to tell me they were doing a half marathon and would I come and cheer them on...so yeah, sorry again!
Buuuuuttt, here is the last chapter of Bechloe 'fortnight'! :-)
Thanks for the comments so far, as I haven't had any negative feedback yet I'm gonna assume that this is ok? So I'll try and turn it into a serial of sorts once I've re-jigged the chapters a bit... 'til then, this is set just before the 'Road trip' chapter. Cheers!
'I love you guys so much' Beca is crying... they're all crying.
The last hum of Beca's song is hanging in the air around them as the Bella's hug and kiss and laugh... and cry a little more. They're happy tears though, they're full of love and celebration and acknowledgement. Acknowledgment of a long journey, one they've taken together but as always...journeys end. This is where they end, they're no longer a group...they're a family and families stick together.
Beca spins on her heels to face Chloe once more, tears still staining both their faces but Beca is also met with a soft, sweet smile. There's an edge to Chloe's face tonight that she can't quite make out but as the redhead sweeps her into another hug, then whispers 'I'm so proud of you Bec' into her ear, she forgets to think anymore about it. She's so happy, everything finally feels like it's falling into place, for all of them.
Beca leans back, so she can just catch Chloe's eyes, 'this isn't just about me Chloe' her lips forming a shy smile, 'this is about us', Beca sweeps her eyes around the stage and back to Chloe.
It would be barely noticeable to anyone other than Beca, but she sees Chloe's usually cheery demeanour falter, it's enough to spark the embers of her earlier concerns but before she can take an enquiry further a voice breaks the two girls apart.
'Sorry to break up the party ladies, we need the stage' Theo says, ushering the Bella's to the side stage. 'And Beca..' Theo takes hold of her hand as he says her name, 'we need you for a sec, ok?'
'Uh, yeah.. Sure', she turns to find Chloe, there's just something not quite right, it's not that she's worried but... 'I'll be back in a few, ok?' She dips her head a fraction trying to coax a familiar reaction from her best friend.
'I'll be waiting Bec' is what she receives and it's so full of emotion that Beca doesn't want to walk away. A firm tug on her hand has her half falling after Theo though, she takes a final look back over her shoulder as she goes. Chloe is stood alone, just off to one side of the stage but there's a flutter of movement around her and she looses sight of her quickly.
Chloe stands staring, watching without seeing, as crew scurry to and from the stage with equipment for Khaleed's portion of the show. She's caught, stuck fast in thoughts and feelings that she can't untangle enough to know what to do with. This is everything she'd hoped for, everything she'd wanted for Beca, there's pride and joy and so so much happiness because of that. She'd watched Beca allow herself to feel these things more and more throughout the day. Sure she'd been nervous but this is Beca's home, she owns this space and Chloe loves watching her captain this particular ship. When she's in her 'let's get this done' frame of mind, Beca shuts everything out... apart from her. She'd been busy and focused today but every now and then, she'd chance a look at Chloe and smile... and the part of Chloe's heart that still clings to 'hope', threatened to break her resolve to wait. She wanted to let Beca enjoy this, without the taint of pressure from other things, then she'd have the conversation.
It was time, it was long since time but something always got in the way! If she was honest with herself, she let things get in the way. She's terrified, she knows that there's love, pure and simple between them. She's almost, very nearly almost, 100% sure that they're both ready for this, that this is the next step for them, together...but, that tiny, niggling part of her brain that dishes out doubt is still firing.
She should have done it before, before they'd left for the tour but then, she thinks to herself, then it would've ruined this for all the Bella's if it had gone badly. 'It can't go badly though right, this is it? This is real?', She thinks but then her mind starts to flash images at her from the last few days. Turtle boy and his eye contact, 'Ughk' she says to herself, shaking her head and trying to clear the emotional fog. She winces slightly as another memory sinks in to place, hiding Beca from him, 'ok sure' she thinks, 'mildly childish' but it wasn't even a train of thought. She'd seen Theo and next thing she knew she was pushing Beca, with more than a little handful, behind a bush. Her cheeks flush pink at the memory of full breasts fitting perfectly into her cupped hands. She mentally kicks herself a little that Beca had had to break her inner revery before she'd realised what she was doing but she's still not about to give that memory up for anything! Not even the very slight mortification that comes right along with it.
But then she's remembering Theo whisking Beca off to show her, JUST Beca... she rolls her eyes at herself... flashy equipment and a life Beca has never even imagined for herself before. That life though, would it still have room for her? Is she going to have to let go, again? Is she going to have to watch Beca walk away again, down a path she can't follow this time?
'Penny for 'em?' Comes with a light hand placed on her lower back and she turns, with eyes that she knows are still glassy, to find Aubrey. She can see Emily, Flo and CR approaching behind her though and with a shake of her head she offers 'later' in the way of placating her friend and nods in the direction of the approaching girls. She uses the distraction to slip back out of sight of them all. She can't do 'Rainbows and sunshine Chloe' right now.
She still watches though, she can see Aubrey's father approach, she can see happiness and joy spread across her friends face, she can just make out Lily, no, wait, 'Ester' she says to herself, 'wow... that's gonna take some getting used to'... slinking off, wrapped in the arms of what she presumes will be another new chapter for one of her friends and she feels the weight of her own stifled emotions again. 'This is ridiculous' she says to herself, shaking her head and trying to put the mess of feelings back in to place. Distraction, she needs a distraction. She takes out her phone, she's about to text Beca when she realises with a huff, that that is not a distraction. She looks around again and realises that this is all just too amazing to be real! This whole trip has just been a rollercoaster and she knows that they've all been too caught up in the ride to really capture it. She begins to take pictures of what she knows will be the start of something wonderful for Beca! She can still feel the tinge of sadness and the guilt that that feeling brings right along with it, but she will not take any of this away from Beca. She's so, really and truly, so happy for her Bec.
Her Bec... and then she can hear her Bec... 'wait'... she thinks to herself, spinning on the spot she occupies, eyes searching for the origin of the voice she knows so well.
Before she can even process what she is seeing, tears are stinging her eyes 'oh my god' slips out of her mouth as she claps her hand over it... Beca, Theo's hands around her upper body, holding her in a graceful dip...pain, real, searing pain and then Chloe's gone, striding in the opposite direction...
'Woah dude!' Beca squeaks 'hands!!!'
'Would you rather be nursing a bruised tailbone?' Theo asks as he rights Beca back onto her feet.
'No' she huffs...she knew she should've spent longer practising walking in these god damn boots, '...thanks, I guess'.
'You good Bec?' Aubrey asks with a determined stride towards Beca, leaving the rest of the congregated Bella's and putting space between her and Theo with a pointed glare towards the young man.
'Yeah' She nods ' we're done right?' She asks Theo, stretching slightly to see him over Aubrey's shoulder.
'Yep, all good. You did a great job Beca, Limousines out front whenever you guys want it.'
'Thanks man' Beca blushes slightly but there's still a noticeable absence from this group exchange. 'Dude, ah, so where's Chloe again?', She asks her former captain.
During the entire time she'd spent with Theo and Khaleed after her performance, she couldn't think of anything but the nagging feeling that something was wrong between her and the redhead. She'd spent much of the exchange with her new colleagues uttering 'sure's and 'thanks', without having any real clue what she was replying to. She was just too distracted for any of it, she had to find Chloe, figure out what was going on? There was something alien there, something she'd never felt with Chloe before and she didn't like it one bit.
'Oh..' Aubrey spins around to look towards the other girls, then quickly back at Beca, 'she was here a second ago, right ladies?'
Amy's stood just above the group, still claiming the side stage, surveying the surroundings from her vantage point...'Captain Red at 12 o'clock Shortstack' Amy clicks her heals together and throws a lazy salute at Beca.
Beca looks over her shoulder, 'Right, just, ah... just hold fire here a sec, I'll go get her' Beca holds her hands up in a mock 'stay' command and, carefully this time, spins on her heels.
The instant she starts to walk away she can hear light footfall behind her..., she rolls her eyes hard and turns slightly to identify the culprit... she would've put money on Amy but Theo is a few strides behind her. 'I don't need a chaperone dude' she huffs in his general direction.
'Just protecting my investment Beca, apparently it's needed!' Theo quips back but he's still maintaining his distance.
'This is gonna get old, real quick' Beca thinks to herself with another eye roll but realistically, she can't have a real conversation with Chloe here, so maybe it's better that there's a buffer of sorts.
She takes a final step, looking around her as she goes and 'shit'... her internal thoughts are wrapped up in that one word. She makes to move off again but remembering her tag-a-long body guard behind her, she gathers herself quickly and stuffs the pain... no, wait... that's rage...that she's feeling down into the pit of her stomach. Taking a step back, leaning against the pillar behind her for support, arms crossed and stomach clenching as it absorbs her inner turmoil, Theo takes a place beside her. 'Ahh, that's nice' he says in the direction of Chloe. Chloe and Chicago. Chloe and Chicago kissing... Beca's face morphs into a grimace and... she needs to get out of here...without questions...
'So, you work for me now?' She states flatly, moving the conversation away from...from this...
'Yeah, I had some ideas...' Theo begins, walking back the way they came.
There's a brief sense of relief at starting to walk away from the scene behind, it's all too brief though...she just needs to hold this together long enough to get out of here...'I'm gonna be a real handful, I gotta tell ya...'
There's a flash of gold in the corner of her eye as Chloe begins to open them again. Chicago is holding her in a gentle dip, lips still pressed to hers and with, what almost feels like stop motion realisation, she knows what that gold is. 'Beca' she mumbles against the lips still pressed against her own.
Chicago pulls back, confusion on his face and Chloe struggles to right herself.
Her hands move up to run through her hair and tug slightly as she internally works through the last few seconds.
'Ah, Chloe?' Chicago questions from behind her. Chloe turns quickly and offers an apologetic 'shit, ah, I shouldn't have done that..' holding a hand out to stop him taking another step towards her, Chloe drops her gaze to the floor shaking her head to herself...'what have I done' she asks herself quietly.
'Chloe?' Chicago tries again.
She looks up quickly this time, resolve hardening her features..'I'm sorry, I am but that should never have happened, I... I'm not free, I...' a hiccup of emotion stills her conviction and she spins on her feet and half runs, half stumbles in the direction she saw Beca leave.
Her thoughts are jumbled, questioning, stifling...'oh god' she breathes out, stretching her hands through her hair again as she moves. 'What did I do? How the hell do I fix this? Can I...Can I fix this?' The thoughts are coming too quickly to formulate answers but right now, she just needs to see Beca, she needs to know she's still there, still with her.
She comes to a quick stop, a few feet back from where she can see Beca and Theo stood in front of the rest of the Bella's, backs toward her.
Theo turns to face her first, winks at her as he passes with a 'Chloe', punctuated with a nod of his head.
She doesn't move, doesn't react, her eyes still trained on the back of Beca's head.
Aubrey is the next to notice her arrival and brushes past Beca with a 'There you are!' Chloe is still just concentrating on the back of Beca's head, willing her to turn but equally unsure if she is ready for her to... but Beca hasn't moved, not an inch.
Aubrey comes to a stop in front of her, slightly blocking off her view, 'Beca is tired, so we're gonna take this..', Aubrey gestures to the rest of the Bella's as she speaks, 'back to the hotel, you ready?'
Words Chloe... find words...she realises Aubrey is still waiting for a response and stutters out, 'Yeah... ah, sure... um, whatever Bec wants.'
She swears she sees Beca's shoulders wince at her words but she still hasn't turned, so she can't see what her face is saying. The lack of recognition from Beca is slowly killing her, the freezing numbness that is creeping through her body feels like poison...she just needs to fix this, take back the last ten minutes.
She starts to move forward but...'I'm gonna get a lift back to the hotel with my Dad, ... you guys are going in the limo with Beca, ok?' Aubrey instructs...although it's gentle, she can see there's something not quite right with the redhead. 'I'll be right behind you, ok?' It's even more gentle and there's a slight tilt to Aubrey's head that has tears springing to Chloe's eyes. She can't speak, she knows she'll break so she just nods in response, lips right.
Amy sweeps in to put her arm around Chloe's shoulder 'Come on Ginger, let's get this party started!' She leads Chloe away from Aubrey and, with a wide berth, past Beca. Chloe looks back over her shoulder as she's lead but Beca is looking everywhere but at her, her face set, features hard.
Chloe can't take it all in, can't process what happened tonight, there's too much emotion, too many what ifs and her brain can't cope, seems to be shutting down. She needs Beca. As she is shuffled as far into the Limousine as she can get, Amy guiding her from behind, she sits and acknowledges the other Bella's filing in behind her but she only really sees one of them.
Beca is last in, turning to speak to the driver as does. When she finally takes her seat, she reaches forward to play with the sound system. She finds something loud that Chloe doesn't recognise, turns the volume up and slumps back in her seat, eyes closed.
Chloe watches the whole process from her position at the other end of the limo. She's never this far away from Beca when they're together, never! She's itching to move, she needs to touch her, to hear her voice tell her it's all going to be ok, most of all she just needs to feel the connection that the meeting of their eyes always brings... but Beca won't look at her.
The brunettes eyes are still shut gently, head leant back in the chair and hands resting over each other across her forehead. Chloe knows that this is Beca's 'resignation' stance, she can tell that this is Beca giving up but if she can just get her to look at her, she can stop this, bring her back. She leans forward, a small attempt to get herself into the right position to move but a strong hand is placed across her knee... Amy.
'Not yet Red', Amy shakes her head slowly as she speaks, 'give her a little bit longer, we're nearly back, ok?'
Amy's words are gentle but commanding and Chloe doesn't think she's ever seen this side of Amy. She's mildly confused by the change, as well as the instruction but she relents and sits back in her chair again, never once taking her eyes from Beca... heart breaking a little more with each passing second without her.
The limo has barely come to a stop before Beca is out of the Limousine and striding up the step of their hotel. She's vaguely aware of movement behind her, as the rest of the Bella's pile out of the car but she's not waiting. She doesn't want any of this right now. What she wants is...is... to be as far away from everything as possible, as far away from her as possible. She knows she's being petulant, she knows that her lack of interaction must be killing Chloe but she can't bring herself to look at her. Looking at her will mean that all of this is real, looking at her will mean that it really is too late, that she's lost her... that... all of that can wait, she's not ready for any of it.
She's in the elevator, pressing the button for her floor, just as the other girls catch up to her. She keeps her back to the wall, eyes to the floor and ignores the chatter around her... just a few more minutes.
The door in front of them pings open, she knows Chloe is the first one out, would know the sound of her steps anywhere but these are softer somehow, less sure footed but still she doesn't look.
As she takes a step from the elevator, her shoulder is snagged by Cynthia Rose...the Bella's are all waiting in the hallway of their floor, waiting for the next move...'You rocked it tonight Bec! How d'ya wanna celebrate!?'
There's a wave of cheer from the rest of the girls, with a notable exception, she can feel Chloe's eyes on her still... but she won't look at her, she won't give her any of herself, not now...not..
Beca shakes her head, eyes still down cast, as another ping sounds from the elevator behind her. 'I'm just so tired she says to her feet... tomorrow ok?'
'But this is your fairytale ending girl, this is like Disney level shit...we gotta celebrate!?' CR tries to cajole Beca.
Beca looks up hard, first at Cynthia, then directly at Chloe... the redhead is looking down now but Beca bites her words anyway, she knows Chloe will hear them. 'You don't always get the fairytale ending you want' Beca stays looking at Chloe long enough to catch the redheads eyes as she looks up, directly into Beca's steely gaze. It's brief but it's enough and Beca can hear the quiet sob escape Chloe as she turns towards her own room...only to be caught by Aubrey emerging from the elevator doors.
Aubrey is holding her shoulders...'What the hell is going on?' Aubrey asks her, eyes flashing from her obviously distressed best friend, to the confused looks on the rest of the girls' faces and back to Beca's hardened features.
Beca shrugs violently out of her grip, 'Ask Chloe' is all the explanation she offers as she strides down the hall. Aubrey watches Beca disappear into her room with a hard crash of the door and turns to watch Chloe stumble as she's turns in the opposite direction..'seriously, what the hell happened?' Aubrey asks again, looking from Bella to Bella.
'Aca-awkward' Amy ventures and with a huff of annoyance Aubrey tails after Chloe.