The Cost of Pride

Megatoxic

*Disclaimer: You know how this goes. Bioware is the boss.*

Chapter 17: The Sum Isn't Always Equal

It was probably around two in the morning before we finally made it back to Diana's Delights. Cassandra found herself with a new roommate, Sera, and from the room Ellana and I were sharing we could hear her laughing loudly every now and then. "Cassandra is loosing her mind right now I'm telling you," Ellana said to me conspiratorially, "she loves her sleep and despises anything that fucks with it."

We were both in our night clothes tucked into our shared bed. Alpha was curled at my feet and Ellana was so tiny and I had lost much weight that we had plenty of room for us all. She turned on her side so that she could face me in the dark as her bright eyea sought mine out, "Sooooo what's up with you and Solas?" I hoped I sounded as innocent as possible when I responded with, "I don't know what you mean."

"Oh please cut the bullshit out with me Fallen. You're closer to me in such a short amount of time than most of my clan mates back home. I ask because I care and your happiness is important to me," she stated honestly. My eyes watered a bit in the dark and I hoped her sharp elven eyes wouldn't pick that up. Her kindness though was what did it and I was thankful for her friendship. "I care for you too Ellana. I have not had a friend in a long time. Nothing has happened between Solas and I. This is simply a silly attraction that I have for him that you are picking up on. I'm not his type at all," I said with vulnerability.

"What do you mean by type?" Ellana asked curiously. "Honestly, I mean like you. Beautiful and obviously elven," I replied softly. Ellana was silent for a long minute and I began to wonder if she had dozed off. I was ready to roll over when she spoke again, "You really don't see how he looks at you do you? It's really quite romantic and fiery at the same time. I don't think he cares one lick that you have human blood. He wants you lethallan, and you want him." I wished I could share with her his identity so that she would understand how wrong she was.

"That's just it Ell. It's all lust if anything at all. We could never actually have anything," I assured her. "And why in the creators not?" she countered. "I suppose for some of the same reasons you and the commander can't," I threw back at her. "Well we aren't talking about Cullen and I," she debated with me.

"He and I are a bad idea and that's all there is to it," I said with a finality that I didn't really know I could support. Ellana sighed heavily, "Fine, whatever helps you sleep tonight, and you probably should. Tomorrow you and I are attending this party that the furry woman is throwing." My heart started racing and I wondered if she could hear it, "Just the two of us? Do the others know this yet?" She giggled mischievously, "Nope!"

*

"This is not a good idea," I said with as much authority as I dared to throw into the Dalish woman's face. Cassandra was sitting next to me at our table and she spoke up quickly, "I agree with Solas. You two would be unprotected and we would be unable to help if needed. We should treat this as a probable trap." Fallen fidgeted in her seat across the table, "Not to mention, I am a mage. If a noble or attending templar got a whiff of that there would be disaster on the spot."

I was pleased to see that she understood the danger involved and had some self-preservation instincts. "Give yourself some credit Fallen, and ya know me too," the Herald said nonchalantly as she took another bite of her eggs. Fallen's brown eyes met mine across the table and I could see the apology resting there. "Fine," Cassandra stated in defeat, "but please be careful. Also, you two cannot attend any event of this magnitude in your adventuring armor."

Fallen choked on her drink and the Herald look unsettled as well. "Well what do shems... I mean humans... wear to these sorts of things," the redhead asked with distress. "Nothing either of us will want to wear," Fallen mumbled dejectedly. The seeker eyed them both reproachfully, "You must look presentable. Trust me when I say I am not fond of a dress either, but for this you should both concede to propriety."

The Herald laughed loudly at her words and banged her unmarked hand on the wooden table top. "I think my Dalish nature and obvious elven heritage ruled propriety out a long time ago," she said sarcastically. "It wouldn't kill either of you to try," the seeker rebuttaled. "Cassandra is right," I added helpfully, "Although, perhaps you could help them pick their attire today Cassandra. You are nobility yourself so you have the knowledge."

The dwarf loved this new direction and was fast to show support, "Of course! Plus, you are a woman of battle. You could show them how to hide some weapons under their skirts and whatnot." She looked overly annoyed at these suggestions, but the seeker nodded in agreement. "Is there anywhere for me to hide Alpha?" Fallen asked. "Don't be ridiculous Fallen. That beast stays here," the Herald replied viciously.

I reached across the table to cover Fallen's small hand with my own larger one, "Do not worry ma da'len, I will care for her." I felt bright green eyes on us and a dwarf mentally taking notes for an unwarranted story and removed my hand from hers slowly. I was not embarrassed to be exact, but it was odd knowing that the other elf understood my endearing words and the elven infliction.

I would worry about them both being out that night. Ellana for having my mark and being the only hope for closing the breach, and Fallen because of well... so much as of late. That being addressed, I could used my available time to catch up with my agents and make sure that I had enough in place tonight at the party. They would be able to relay all the events to me magically before the women even arrived back, and they could offer an extra set of protection for them. I also intended to see if I could find anything on Wisdom while they were out shopping. I was beginning to become very worried for my spirit friend. She had been with me since before the rebellion offering guidance and I desired her input on recent events greatly.

*

How I let the elf talk me into the task of dress shopping I wasn't sure. Granted the Herald and the traveler were nothing like the ladies in any court, but I still hated the whole affair. We had finally located a shop that claimed it had dresses for elven figures on the sign which Ellana surely needed.

The dressmaker and keeper of the shop was an older elven woman who was beside herself to help us when she realized who Ellana was. She had gushed over Ellana enthusiastically and proclaimed that Fallen was stunning. She had started on a rant about how dark and mysterious my eyes were when I hastily informed her that I was not to be fitted. She had appeared put out, but she went to work nonetheless.

The woman had been in the backroom with the two women for almost an hour after my instruction of what was needed. I was begining to loose my patience when the dressmaker appeared from the back looking pleased with herself. "I think you will find them both adequately attired my lady," she stated while ushering me back with her.

Ellana and Fallen were waiting and looking equally nervous. Ellana's gown was a deep purple that did wonders for her fiery coloring. It was an elven cut and tailored qith a gossamer texture. It left the tops of the shoulders exposed as well. She had on a matching pair of leggings underneath the skirt as the slits on the sides came up ridiculously high. A black pair of leather foot wraps that the elves preferred graced her small feet. There were silver and green leaf patterns around the neck, shoulders, and wrists. All in all, she looked exotic.

Fallen was in a dress matching in gossamer texture, but it was a deep forrest green. Her shoulders were exposed as well, but her dress had a more human inspired square bustline that gave her larger breats a flattering showcase. Her dress was also cinched at the waist giving her dress an accent on her figure that Ellana's didn't have. There was a gold leafy print around the wrists, shoulders, and cinched waist that added a tiny elven flair. Many men would find her tempting that night, and I knew that Solas would be included in that numbering.

The dressmaker was clearly pleased by my facial reaction because she encouraged my approval. "They will look the part tonight my lady! We have decided against masks as it would be better if everyone knows the face of the Herald of Andraste. Also, the dresses both offer protection which the Herald said was important. Her dress alone can hide roughly twenty daggers depending on their size and length, and her friend's is enchanted to surpress others from sensing her magic," she assured me to my shock at her last words. "You told her?" I asked Fallen accusingly. The woman shook her head in defiance, "I didn't have to tell her anything!"

The only way the elf would have been able to sense Fallen's magic was if she was trained as a seeker or templar or if she was a mage herself. The woman was looking on resiliently silent and I took that as my permission. I reached out with my aura, as a seeker is trained to do, to scan the area for magic. Fallen physically shuddered as I passed over her and the dressmaker's eye twitched at her own scan, but I sensed nothing from either of them.

"It works," I told Fallen and she sighed in relief. The dressmake patted her shoulder reassuringly, "See, I told you da'len. The enchantment works." I eyed her critically, "Do you use it yourself?" The woman's look turned from pride in her work to fear almost instantly. Ellana moved in quickly to sooth the situation, "You have no need to fear us. We shall keep your secrete as you have promised to keep my friends. Won't we Cassandra?" She and Fallen were looking at me determinedly as if daring me to disagree, "I suppose not Herald. It will take all sorts before this is all over I fear."

All three women visibly relaxed at my words, and not for the first time in my life I was pissed that seekers and templars were so feared. The will of the Maker was for magic to serve man. Our purpose was to make sure that happened and innocent lives were not destroyed because of magic. My mind flashed to the Lord Seeker's display the previous day and I honestly could understand. The bad and ugly often get more attention than the good and pretty.

We paid the woman for her service and began making our way back to Diana's Delights. We all seemed to be lost in our own thoughts and I was personally replaying the Lord Seeker's words and actions over and over in my head. "The sum isn't always equal to all it's parts," Falled said softly. Ellana and I both looked at her oddly and the mage smiled weakly.

"A single blood mage doesn't define all mages. A thieving elf doesn't define all elves. A cruel racist human doesn't define all humans," she explained softly. "The few doesn't get to speak for the many if you refuse to allow them, but that is a personal choice. All we can do every day is try to change minds and hearts with deeds and actions. That can sometimes be hard, but if we never stop trying then we are already ahead," she continued. She passed both Ellana and I and left our minds reeling in her wake. As I followed behind the woman, I felt my approval for her raise consideably. She saw more than she let on that's for sure.

*

I had to admit that I loved my new dress. Since arriving in Thedas, I hadn't had a moment to feel pretty and the dress gave me that power. It also relieved me to know it would help hide my magic. Vivienne was a mage of course, but her status and mine in the city were two very different things.

When we arrived back at the tavern, Solas was gone and had taken Alpha with him according to Varric who was sitting by the fireplace writing. Cassandra went to work with preparations for the night. She corned Stefan and had the man direct his servants to assist us. A bath was placed in our room for us to share and we both found that enjoyable.

It was quite large and I felt bad for the servants who had transported it. The bath was big enough for two and Ellana showed me two fire runes on the bottom that when double tapped would keep the water warm. She looked at me strangely as if I should've known that, but luckily didn't comment. We ended up bathing together like small children and helping to wash and detangle each other's hair.

The servants had brought up what would pass for makeup back home and quickly went to work on our faces once we were clean. Ellana's Dalish heritage gave her a vast knowledge of braids and braided hairstyles. In no time, she had her gorgeous red hair up in multiple braids on the top of her head. It suited her and showed off her delicate ears and petite neck and shoulders. When the servant was done with my face, she was shooed off by Ellana who began attacking my hair.

When she deemed me done, she moved us so that we could see ourselves in the small vanity. Ellana had braided my hair up in a small crown around my head and placed the rest into a braid that rested between my shoulders. She had purposely left some curls down on either side of my face. It was extremely flattering. My makeup was light on my face, but the dark coal around my eyes really accented their large almond shape and color. Also, the token of the packmaster rested on my chest as well and worked well with my dress.

Ellana was smiling broadly and I realized that I was simply sitting there with my mouth hanging wide open. "We look damn good lethallan," she said wickedly as she patted her dress down making sure that all her daggers were hidden. Once she was seemingly satisfied, she grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet. "Let's go get Cassandra's approval and then head down to the market to catch our carriage," she prompted.

Cassandra had explained to us that horses were not allowed in the city of course so anybody who was anybody relied on the carriage system the city provided. Of course there was a fee for it and all the money earned went to the city and most of the time that meant the Chantry. I glanced out the small window in our room and realized that the sun was lower in the sky. I didn't think it had taken us that long to get ready. The day had gone by so fast.

When we stepped into the tavern's common area a shocked silence descended. I felt at least a dozen men's eyes on us and probably a few women's as well. A whistle came from by the fire and a familiar accented voice called out, "Oi, ya both look like yummy tarts ya!" I hadn't seen Sera since her recruitment, but she clearly felt familiar enough with everyone... or that might just be Sera.

Cassandra, Varric, and Solas were at her table and as we made our way to them chatter resumed, but I still felt eyes following us. My cheeks were burning from Sera's words and the prying eyes. Cassandra circled us like a hawk and nodded in a final approval, "It'll work, but please both of you use reason, common sense, and be safe."

My eyes were drawn to Solas as he rose from his spot and approached us. I saw his eyes travel down my body and back up again with little shame as he got closer and my insides shuddered involuntarily. "It is odd not being able to sense you, but I am glad you have the extra protection tonight," he said in a lowered voice that only I could catch and probably Ellana and any other elf nearby. "Where's Alpha?" I asked. "In my room. I will keep her there tonight," he promised.

"Ma serannas Solas," I told him. He seemed to hesitate for a second and then he boldy stepped closer to me. He was inches from me and I could smell his intoxicating and familiar scent when he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. My hand involuntarily grabbed onto the front of his tunic in an unexplained need to touch him in return. "Please be safe ma da'len," he whispered to me pleadingly. His eyes searched mine and I wanted him to devour me in that heated moment. Instead, I swallowed nervously and gave him a single small nod.

"We will be fine Solas, and I will make sure that she returns to you," Ellana said calmly. I expected him to deny any kind of claim over me, but instead he eyed her intently before responding. "See that you both return," and with that he turned to make his way back to his seat. I felt cold all over once he moved away and I tried to look everywhere but him.

As Ellana and I made our exit with Cassadra as our chaperone to the carriage, I felt eyes on us as before, but it felt different somehow. I realized that several people were now looking at me with open disgust instead of attraction or desire. Stefan was behind his bar and he shook his head when my eyes met his. I didn't get it and I was unsure if looks of desire or disgust felt worse.

As we made our way down to the market, it hit me. The only change had been Solas' interaction with me. They had seen an elven man share an intimate moment with a human woman and that disgusted them. Angry tears began to well up when Cassandra's voice spoke to me, "The sum isn't always equal to all it's parts." I laughed at her giving me my own advice back to me as our carriage finally pulled up. I surprised the stoic seeker by throwing my arms around her neck for a quick hug, "Thanks for the reminder Cass."

Translations

Lethallan: someone with whom one is familiar

Shem: short for 'shemlen'

Ma Falon: my friend

Da'len: little one or little child

Ma Serannas: my thanks

Ma Da'len: my little one

Resource

http/dragonage./wiki/Elven_language