It is a dark age. A really dark age.

That's probably cause the light bulb hasn't been invented yet.

It's an age of old. An age of castles and knights. An age of princesses and dragons, orcs, faeries, centaurs, unicorns, griffons, wizards, witches, and…HEROES.

Yes, heroes. This tale, however, is not about heroes like Lancelot or Arthur. Nay, it is the tale of Crusader Rabbit.

Crusader was born within the deepest part of the Enchanted Forest in England, and he had the ability to speak as well as any man could, and was quite athletic I must say.

When he was young he often dreamed of becoming a knight and going on daring adventures, even saving maidens from harm!

But training to become a knight in the king's knight school while being a white, two-foot tall talking rabbit? Therein lies the rub.

--

"LET'S GO LADIES!"The lead knight in charge yelled through a huge megaphone.

Everyone that wanted to become a member of the king's Knights of England had to go through a very rigorous training program. It wasn't just leg and arm days with light cardio, no sir….

The program in question included horseback riding, swordsmanship training, instructions in proper axe and mace usage, ways to kill and field-dress magical creatures, and most importantly, THE GAUNTLET.

A massive stretch of land, dotted with pendulums, acid pits, rope courses and spines, the Gauntlet was truly a way to test a knight's worth.

Crusader Rabbit could hop through this training course with all the athleticism of well, a bunny. He wore a tiny, silver knight's outfit hand-made by the local blacksmith, and surprisingly enough, no trousers.

Crusader briefly paused his running at the very top of a massive, spike-covered tower to gaze up to an equally enormous, marble tower in the kingdom near the gauntlet. There, seated on her own throne next to the king, was the lovely princess Morwenna. Her hair was like gold, her pale skin shimmered like porcelain. She wore a beautiful pink dress embroidered with golden details here and there, and a huge, pink, matching hennin hat with all kinds of beautiful, expensive gemstones sewn into it. Morwenna looked bored at watching the knights with her father, and simply preferred to play her harp.

Yes, she was human, but Crusader loved her like he would any other young, attractive rabbit woman.

"huh-zzah, baby..." Crusader spoke in a sensual tone at the sight of Morwenna.

"CRU-SAAA-DER!" The lead knight hollered, the rabbit coming back to reality. "GET YER FURRY TAIL IN THE GAME HERE!"

"Oh—SIRE, AYE, SIRE!" Crusader saluted, then leapt from the spike tower.

The little, white rabbit grasped onto a massive, hanging scythe, and using the momentum, flipped into the air over a huge pool of crocodiles, and landed perfectly on the other side.

"CRUSADER!" The lead knight exclaimed.

Expecting to be told this was a job-well done, the small rabbit strode foreword, his confidence levels through the roof.

A sword was immediately bought down to Crusader's neck.

"Uh-heh-heh…" the little rabbit chuckled awkwardly. "So….is this like, my knighthood ceremony or what? I was…kinda expecting a bit more pomp…."

Crusader was silenced as the lead knight picked him up by the neck and flung him into a small, pet-sized cage.

"And perchance some…circumstance?" Crusader squeaked out.

"The king would like to have a word with you." The lead knight spoke.

————-

The massive doors to the castle opened, the king's equally large throne room in view.

"—CRUSADER RABBIT!" The king exclaimed once the tiny bunny had been bought before the throne in shackles. "You ARE aware that it is very much against the law to use athletic performance-enhancing potions, yes?"

"WHAT?!" Crusader stammered. "I wasn't—" the rabbit paused as a small vial rolled out from his armor and onto the floor, a small drop of glimmering pink liquid dropped from said bottle.

The rabbit's eyes grew wide as he pretty much gave the king all the evidence he needed to arrest him.

"Because of your insolence, I shall sentence you to DEATH!" The king boomed.

Crusader gulped as he was dragged away.

———————

The execution took place atop a bridge over a waterfall outside the castle. Since the king already had another creature ready to be executed for crimes against the Saxon crown, he'd chained him to Crusader.

"Oh no..." Crusader moaned, looking at the executioner, who was gleefully sharpening his axe.

Crusader gazed down at his feet to find he'd been chained by one foot to the foot of a massive tiger! But this tiger wasn't like the ones he'd seen and read about, he stood on two legs like a human, and only wore a pair of tattered, patched-up brown shorts with a rope for a belt.

"Well, I suppose I should introduce myself. Greetings," Crusader bowed. "My name is Crusader Rabbit. What're you in for?"

"I'm Ragland." The tiger spoke, a somewhat obnoxious laugher coming from his mouth. "Ragland T. Iger. But you can call me Rags!"

"What does the "T" stand for?" Crusader inquired, raising one eyebrow.

"Larry." Ragland replied, a huge smile on his face.

Crusader blinked, stunned at this idiot tiger.

"LARRY?!" Crusader exclaimed.

"What? My father couldn't spell." Rags replied.

"I don't believe you can either." Crusader glumly remarked.

"Okay folks lets have a nice, clean execution, no screamin', no pukin', no cryin'..." The executioner raised his axe. "Have a nice five seconds of the rest of your life!"

As the executioner lowered the axe, he was stopped mere inches away from Crusader's neck when a loud roar penetrated the uneasy silence like an axe chopping wood.

"DRAGON!" The executioner exclaimed.

The royal attendants rushed to get the king to safety, but unfortunately he remembered the princess was still in her room in the castle.

"MORWENNA!" The king exclaimed, the light of the dragon's flames reflecting in his eyes.

A massive, dark-green scaled dragon emerged from the heavens like some sort of comet, and broke through the tower, taking Morwenna in its massive claws.

"Well, glad that's over." Rags remarked.

"Uh, Rags?" Crusader unnervingly stared.

The dragon was returning to the bridge, since he noticed there were more people to attack. With the dragon quickly approaching and Crusader discovering that he could not set himself free, there was but one option left.

"Rags, we're gonna have to JUMP!" Crusader exclaimed.

The little rabbit very quickly leapt from the bridge and down the waterfall, Rags was completely unaware the foot of chain that attached his left foot to Crusader's was still unraveling.

"—Why on earth would ya wanna do that, pal?" Rags asked. "I mean it's a long was down and—OOOMPH!!"

Rags exclaimed just as the rest of the chain pulled him down the waterfall, screaming until he and Crusader hit the bottom with a massive—

("*KER-SPPLLAAAAASH!*")

The roar of the dragon and the screams of Morwenna could be heard in the distance as the tiger and rabbit floated down the stream, not dead, just unconscious.

—————-

The calm lake's flow was somewhat interrupted by the arrival of Rags' and Crusaders' bodies. As soon as they arrived on the shoreline, Crusader and Rags both gasped for air and clambered onto dry land.

"Well!" Crusader exclaimed, briefly removing his armor and emptying the water from it as though it were a tea kettle. "THIS is a fine how-do-ya-do!"

"What d'ya mean?" Rags asked.

"What I MEAN, Ragland, is that my chances at being a knight are now DEAD IN THE WATER!" Crusader exclaimed, tossing a stone across the lake in frustration. "I had a chance at proving I'm capable, and now, NOT only am I a fugitive, but the PRINCESS has been kidnapped by a big, stupid, winged GECKO!"

Crusader drew his sword out and proceeded to slice his way through the branches.

"Farewell, tiger, I must find out how to save her alone." The rabbit replied.

"Well, why don't I help ya?" Rags asked.

Crusader was stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned around, then LAUGHED uproariously at his tiger compatriot.

"—YOU wanna help ME save the princess?!" Crusader exclaimed. "What on the flat earth are you thinkin'?! Tis' a jest, is it not?"

"I'm not jesting." Rags replied.

"For real?" Crusader immediately stopped his laughter.

"Yeah, I figure I could come with you, help clear your name and my name and we could—" Rags twiddled his thumbs briefly. "Oh I dunno—we could bond and be buddies or something?"

Rags smiled, but Crusader didn't know what to make of this. The tiger smiled slightly harder, even more of his sharp teeth were revealed, then Crusader finally replied:

"Oh alright, fine!" Crusader smiled. "We can save the princess together!"

"YES!" Rags exclaimed.

And so the quest began, with Rags and Crusader off to the dragon's lair to save the princess.

"Yeah, one more thing, how d'we get this chain off?" Rags asked, pointing at the chain that was still around his and Crusader's feet.

—————

To be continued...

--

"Are you kiddin'?!" Rags exclaimed at the sight of this chapter's ending. "You're not gonna get it off NOW?!"