Crusader and Rags, after meeting up at a local tavern and drinking their fill of mead and eating their fill of tavern nuts and steak, once again resumed their epic quest to save princess Morwenna.

"(*BUUURHP!*)" Rags exclaimed, drunkenly stumbling out from the tavern, beer mug in his left paw. "Crus—(*HUURP!*) CRUSADER!" He exclaimed, turning around. "W-where'd ya go lil' buddy?"

A muffled voice came from behind Rags. The tiger turned around again to find that he'd SAT on Crusader, and laughed.

"Oh, t-there ya—(*BUUURP!*)—ARE!" Rags pulled Crusader from his behind as though he were a sticker, straightening him out good as new. "You ok?"

"No…" Crusader groaned, straightening his head. "I've seen many things…many…horrific things…" he shuddered. "But now my dearest companion, we must resume our epic quest!"

Crusader and Rags were very quickly able to grab a horse, grazing in a nearby meadow, and one they sat on top of it…(it buckled slightly underneath the weight of Rags), off they went once more.

"Now—" Crusader spoke, ducking away from a relatively low branch on a tree. "According to this map, we should be somewhere near Giant Country..."

"G-G-GIANT?!" Rags exclaimed, shivering. "Aren't they b-big?"

"Ah, pish-posh my good man!" Crusader laughed, making the horse leap over a rushing river.

Crusader and Rags continued to ride along on their horse through the forest when the horse instantaneously SLAMMED against something very wide, very hard, and very thick. Both bunny and tiger were thrown against the ground, both feeling very confused, especially since their horse ran off.

"bluh, who put that brick wall there?" Crusader pondered, scratching his head.

Crusader and Rags shivered as the giantess' meaty, fat hand picked both of them up and bought them closer to her face. The giantess stood at least thirty feet tall, and her extremely muscular figure carried a just as massive club and was clad in nothing more than a brown dress. She had red hair, and a…unibrow on her forehead.

"ME NAME AM TESTERONIA, AN' JUST WHO YOU BE?!" The giantess boomed.

"Well, I'm Crusader, son of Eibhlin and Dom—" The rabbit started to speak before becoming interrupted by the tiger.

"And I, am RAGLAND!" Rags exclaimed, attempting to sound as confident as Crusader. "Son of Harold and Debbie!"

"BAHAHAH!" Testosteronia laughed. "You funny little guys! But me kill you now!"

"K-k-k-k-kill us?!" Rags shivered.

"Hey, me am giantess, is in job description." Testosteronia shrugged.

Crusader, however, was not afraid of this woman in the slightest, despite her obvious height advantage.

"ALRIGHT BRING-ETH IT! BRING-ETH IT ON…ETH!" Crusader exclaimed, unsheathing his sword. "T'is pain you so desire to inflict upon me woman, so go FORTH! INFLICT! THE! PAIN!!"

Testosteronia merely chuckled at the rabbit's sentiments.

"Okay, all aboard pain train—AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!" Testosteronia exclaimed, raising her club and charging directly at Crusader.

"—-AAAAAAAAAA—" Crusader screeched, charging as well and holding up his sword before briefly stopping. "Wait, what on earth is a trai—OOOMPH!"

Crusader was immediately pounded, not by the giantess' club, but rather her own massive, sweaty fist.

"I wasn't ready—" Crusader groaned, briefly standing up before fainting yet again.

Rags approached the tiny rabbit and placed him back onto the horse.

"C'mon, Crusader…" Rags spoke. "Let's just go."

"Okay…" Crusader groaned.

As the rabbit and tiger walked away, the giantess began to laugh and point even more.

"BAaaaAAHAHAHA!!" Testosteronia laughed.

"She's laughing, Rags…" Crusader groaned.

"Just ignore her, buddy…" Rags replied. "Your spine is an accordion."

"YEAH, RUN! LITTLE CHICKEN!!" Testosteronia hollered.

Crusader immediately stood up and re-arranged his spinal cord.

"What was that?" Crusader asked, staring down the giantess with a death glare.

"Me say you CHICKEN!!" Testosteronia laughed even harder. "CHICKEN BLOOD!!"

Crusader furrowed his tiny eyebrows, picked up his sword, and propelled himself at the giantess with all the rage and anger he could muster in his tiny, rabbit body.

"CRUSADER, NO!" Rags yelled as the little rabbit flew into action.

"--AAAAAAAGH!" Crusader sucker-punched Testosteronia right in the face.

"OWCHIES!" The giantess exclaimed, briefly clutching the side of her face before Crusader immediately attacked her yet again.

"CRUSADER! STOP!" Rags exclaimed, picking up the little rabbit once he'd landed on the ground.

"RAGS, what're you doing?! I can take her easy!" Crusader struggled to escape the tiger's grasp.

"Yeah I know, but wouldn't you rather save your strength to fight th' dragon an' save th' princess?" Rags replied. "If ya ask me you should tell her you're sorry."

Crusader scoffed at the very notion.

"POPPYCOCK, I reiterate, POPPYCOCK!" The little rabbit scoffed. "Robin Hood would'st not apologize for stealing from the rich, NAY! Nor would Black Shuck for bringing forth an omen of death!"

"But look at her…" Rags gestured over to the giantess.

The poor giantess was attempting to distract herself from the pain by petting Crusader's horse and brushing his mane. She very gently touched a squirrel with one enormous finger, then took in the sweet aroma of a nearby flower, looking surprisingly peaceful.

"Alright..." Crusader replied and begrudgingly walked over to the heavily-injured giantess, silently cursing under his breath. "I am...sorry for beating you up."

"Is okay, little man…" Testosteronia replied. "You…not chicken…"

"See?" Rags replied, "doesn't that make you, her, and this whole situation better?"

"I guess…" Crusader spoke. "But it still sounds dumb. Come on, we must resume our quest…"

"He never learns…" Rags replied as he and the little rabbit walked off, then rode away on their horse.

————-

To be continued….