Chapter 13—Friends and Foes

"I—I can explain," I mumble, taking a few steps back as Luke stands tall and takes a step toward me.

He shrugs his shoulders in a nonchalant way and stares at me expectantly. "Okay," he says simply.

I pull the towel tighter around me as my heart rate spikes and I feel myself begin to panic. My breathing rate increases and the room begins to turn dark, like there's a dimmer switch and he's slowly turning off the lights until everything becomes fuzzy and colors begin to fade. I look around in a panic, searching through my anxiety for fresh oxygen.

I feel large hands grab my shoulders and a voice loudly telling me to breathe. It takes me a while to get my breathing under control as I gasp for air, but I slowly begin to settle as the voice tells me to take deep, cleansing breaths.

I blink and look up to find Luke staring down at me with concerned etched on his face and a worried look in his eyes.

"Are you okay?" he asks, squatting so he's eyes level with me. I didn't even realize I was sitting on the floor.

I clear my throat, but realize I'm still too shaken up to talk so I just nod my head in acquiescence.

"I think you had a panic attack," he comments, still gazing at me in worry. "Does that happen a lot?"

I look down, biting my lip. The last time it happened I was being cornered by that man, but before he could do anything, my world turned dark. I didn't know how much time had passed after I woke up in a heap on the floor. My mother was nowhere to be found, but when I told her about what had happened, she told me to stop being so dramatic. That was all I needed to hear to motivate me to get the hell out of that place before I was raped by a pedophile and away from a neglectful mother.

I look up at Luke once more, noting his sympathetic gaze and it makes me wonder deep down if I could tell him about my life without him judging me or going to Mr. O'Brien. He stands up and offers me his hand. I gently place my hand in his, letting him pull me up without much effort.

I look up at him again, and for some reason feel my face grow hot. "Thanks," I whisper, avoiding eye contact with him.

I begin gathering my clothes, and move to one of the stalls. Despite the fact that they're soaked and cold, I put them back on. Before I unlock the stall door, I silently pray that Luke has left, but when the door swings open he's standing in the same place he was before I rushed to get dressed.

I keep my gaze away from his as I straighten my clothes, and it's such an awkward silence that just breathing in the same room with him makes me uncomfortable.

"Soo . . . are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to guess?" he asks, finally breaking the silence.

My eyes swing over to his. "I don't think you'd understand," I tell him, stupidly thinking that that dumb explanation would throw him off my trail.

"Try me." He crosses his arms back over his chest and stares down at me. By the set of his jaw I know he's not going to let this go. I let out a loud sigh and walk over to one of the sinks to lean against it.

"Well, for starters, I'm not a boy."

He chuckles. "That's pretty obvious. Plus, you don't really make the best boy."

I look at him incredulously. "You mean you knew this whole time I was a girl?" I ask in shock.

He shrugs. "Not the whole time. When I first met you I just thought you were one of those weird, nerdy kids who wasn't so good in social situations, but the more I talked to you and watched your mannerisms, I realized you acted more like a girl than a boy. Then Christian made a comment about how you always wear loose shirts and seem to be self-conscious of your body. I guess I just put two and two together."

I stare at him in horror as I think of everyone else who might know my secret.

"It's okay, don't freak out on me again. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who knows. I don't think Drew even knows, otherwise he would have mentioned it to me."

I nod my head silently as I try to calm my breathing. "That's good. No one else can find out about this." I stare up at him with a pleading expression. "Promise me you won't mention this to anyone else."

He immediately nods his head and places his hand over his heart. "I promise."

I let out a breath of relief and lean further against the sink as I try to gather my thoughts. If anyone did find out I have no idea what would happen. I have too much to risk, and I can't go back to that hellhole. Who knows what he would do to me when they found out where I ran away to. If they're even looking for you. I inwardly roll my eyes at the thought. I doubt they are looking for me, and if my mother was, I'm sure her douchebag idiot husband persuaded her that my disappearance is a good thing. He's such an ass.

"So, why the disguise? Are you in legal trouble or something?" Luke asks, pulling me back into reality.

I bite my lip as I think of what to tell him. "It's—it's really complicated," I begin, looking over at him. "I'm not really sure you'd want to know the details of my pathetic life."

"Actually I'm quite curious. It's not every day you hear of a girl impersonating herself as a guy to enroll in an all-boys school."

I turn and face the mirror as I stare blindly at my reflection. I take a deep breath of air before I open my mouth. "To cut a long story short, my mother remarried a man who didn't know how to keep his hands to himself. My mother wasn't going to choose me over her husband, so I ran away. I didn't want to sacrifice my education because of my mother, but I didn't want her to look for me in an obvious place. So I came here," I add with a shrug. "I figured the last place they'd look for their daughter is at an all-boys school."

I look over at Luke to watch his expression. He looks pensive before an expression of unsettlement falls onto his face. He gazes at me with sympathy. "Did—did he . . . touch you?" he asks carefully.

I shake my head. "He got close a few times, but I made sure we were never in at home alone. The last time we were alone I hyperventilated and passed out. When I woke up I was in the same place he cornered me at, and when I told my mom she didn't believe me. That was the last night I saw them before I caught a bus here."

He gazes at me, an emotion in his eyes I can't decipher before he shows me his boyish smile. "Well now that I know that you're no longer what I thought you were, I don't feel right referring to you as Andy." He snickers at me and I can't help but giggle along with him. "What's your real name?" he asks me.

"Ana. Technically it's Anastasia, but that's what my father calls me when I've done something to upset him." I can't help but smile at the thought of my dad. I can't wait for him to come home. I only have four more months before I can see him again, and he gets to stay home for good.

"Ana it is. Don't worry, I'll only refer to you using your female name when we're alone." He smiles at me and I can't help but smile back, grateful that I'm finally able to share this huge secret with someone and have faith that he won't tell anyone else about it.

"Thank you, Luke," I say, looking up at him in gratitude.

"For what?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.

I give him a shy smile. "For being a good friend."

He gives me a genuine smile, coming to me to throw his arm over my shoulder. "No problem. And don't worry, now that I know why you're so fragile looking, I won't be so rough."

I laugh as we both leave the locker room. "I appreciate it."

As does my every bone and muscle.

I'm not a fan of this chapter-don't know why, but hope you guys like it.

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SS&G xoxo