When watching the second doctor, do you notice Jamie messing with his nose? That's where this came from.

The Doctor, a nutty, short, dark haired man, stood before the controls, fiddling with his recorder. His companion Zoe, a rather adorable young lady with a black bob, walked in. "good morning Doctor. Do you have any plans for today?"

"well, I was thinking that perhaps we could visit old Leo. He and I were such good friends. Maybe he could help me tune this thing." he taps the instrument against his palm.

"Leo?"

"Da vinci."

"oh, was he a musician? I knew he was a painter."

"yes, he helped me write the tune for 'Happy'. Pharrell Williams was very grateful for that."

Jamie, a tired, disheveled young Scotsman walks in. he yawns, "mornin' Doctor. Aye, everythin' seems in place, so I didn't miss anything."

"very funny Jamie." the Doctor responds, unamused. His mood swiftly changes and claps his hands together, "now... Jamie get that finger out of your nose!" the boy jerks his hand from his face, "what!? I didna do anythin'!"

"don't do that. It's disgusting. Now wash your hand and don't do that again." the boy pouts and leaves. Zoe pipes up pleasantly, "despite the vulgarity of it, picking your nose actually benefits your immune system."

"only if you eat it, and that's worse."

"I believe Jamie has been doing it since before he joined you. You just haven't noticed."

the Doctor thinks of all the times Jamie touched his clothes and shudders.

Three days later

"ah, Doctor. We have finally captured you." the tall, skinny white alien said. It turns to face the trio. His gaze drifts over them, "you and you assistants. The girl is quite beautiful and intelligent. She will make an excellent servant. The boy..." he stops and stares in shock. Here in chains, was a dirty creature getting dirt and who knows what else all over the spotless white floors. He yells at the guards, "you dare bring this... thing... here without cleaning it first!? If I die of sickness it will be on your hides!"

the chief guard speaks, "your superiorness, we did wash him beforehand. Somehow the boy managed to collect grime on his way to your chamber."

"wash him for a year if need be! I will have no filth in my fortress."

"yes, your superiorness." two grossed out guards drag Jamie away.

Two minutes later

Jamie escapes and returns to the chamber. He dashes to the leader's throne and pounces on him. "get off me, you ugly dirt bag! You'll make me sick! Guards! Where are you!?"

the Doctor thinks then yells, "Jamie! Pick your nose!"

"ya told me not ta' Doctor!"

"pick your nose!"

"alright." his finger almost disappeared into his face.

"no! don't! I'll do whatever you want! Just get away from me!"

"I want ye to let us go an' free this planet."

"I will, I will! Take them and go!"

"how do I know you'll let the people go?"

"I promise, and I always keep promises."

"alright." he gets up and lets him go. "if we come back and find you haven't done as I asked, it won't be a sickness tha' gets ye."

"yes, yes. I'll do that immediately."

"lets go Doctor."

"very good Jamie."

they arrive at the TARDIS and take off. Zoe comments, "I do believe that was known as an ironic situation Doctor. The one thing you told Jamie not to do is what saved us."

"don't remind me."