Crossover, kind of, with: Star Wars, the Oz books by L. Frank Baum, and My Chemical Romance. All 14 chapters are complete except for a final go-through.

Characters: Tara, Dana, Buffybot, Andrew, Xander; appearances by Giles, Willow and Kennedy, and some surprises. Also an original watcher who is absolutely not, in any way, the author, and three original slayers who have absolutely no connection to anyone I know. Honest. Would I lie?

Thanks so much to Ainon for her typically great betaing skills!

All characters who belong to Joss and co, belong to Joss and co.

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Chapter 3:

(In Which it turns out slayers are still girls, after all)

Welcome to the Black Parade

"Let me get this straight."

Static crackled over the speaker phone, but the incredulity could still be heard in Giles' voice. "A rock band suddenly appeared in the gym. And when they realized they were standing there with their instruments in their hand -- they just started playing?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Ray, the lead guitarist, explained.

Gerard nodded. "It just felt like the thing to do, especially with all those teenage girls standing there with swords and axes. I figured, whatever didn't piss them off worked for me."

The five band members sat at the table in the large conference room, along with Richard, Xander, Tara, and Andrew. "I get that feeling a lot," Xander assured the rocker.

"Where were you before you arrived here?" Tara asked.

Reluctantly, Gerard said, "I was driving by Christina Ricci's house to see if she'd left any of her curtains open."

"I was in the shower," Mikey, the bass player, offered.

"Oh." Tara reddened. "I mean, um, geographically."

"Sorry -- New Jersey." Bob the drummer twirled a drumstick around his fingers, making Richard fight the urge to duck. "But I'm from here in Chicago, so it's cool." How that made their instantaneous trip halfway across the country cool mystified Richard.

"We're the real thing, Mr. Giles," Gerard said reassuringly. "I just got off the phone with our people in New Jersey -- they were pretty worried about us disappearing."

"We go on tour next week," Frank, the guitarist, added. "So we have to get back, along with our equipment."

"We can arrange that," Giles said. "But as it's late where you are, we'll put you up for the night, then we'll load your equipment into one of our vans in the morning. We have to make a trip to our office in New York, anyway."

Gerard looked confused. "A Chicago girl's school has an office in New York?"

Xander cleared his throat. "A sister school. We're sending them some art stuff for a display." Appearing satisfied, Gerard nodded.

Once Giles disconnected, Richard got up and opened the door to the hallway, where a gaggle of slayers was hovering just outside. He'd asked for a guard to standby, just in case, but the three slayers he assigned had turned into every female on the fourteenth and fifteenth floors. "Could someone escort the gentlemen to the guest quarters?"

Teagan's hand shot up first, so he pointed to her, then leaned in close to whisper, "I want two slayers at the door all night."

"Got it." Her gaze slid over the five rockers and, with a deep breath, she motioned them forward.

"Maybe one of us should be there, too," Xander suggested as Richard retook his seat.

"Why?"

"Well ... rock stars. Teenage girls. Maybe we need to guard those guys from their guards."

Andrew nodded emphatically.

But after thinking about it for a moment, Richard shook his head. "These are mature and disciplined girls, I think they can control themselves. Besides, if we put a watcher there now, after showing we trust them to do the job, it might affect their confidence."

"So the next question," Xander said, "is how did a rock band get into the gym?"

"Magic," Tara told him. "I felt it as soon as we entered the gym, but I didn't want to say anything in front of My Chemical Romancers."

"Romance," Andrew corrected automatically.

Tara nodded. "There's something else you should know: They're not real."

The three men sat up straight, in varying degrees of panic.

"I don't think they're dangerous," she added hastily. "They seem to really think they're this rock band, and I have no doubt Gerald thought he really did call back to check in."

"Gerard," Andrew murmured.

"But they have no living aura; they're a magical construct. I suspect they're alive only in the same respect that the original Buffybot was, and maybe less."

Richard raised an eyebrow at that. The original Buffybot? Was? "Can you try to trace where the magic came from?"

"I can try," Tara told him, but she looked doubtful. "I wish Willow was here." She looked so wistful that Richard immediately knew he had to change the subject.

"Okay, let's stick to the original plan, then. If we can't figure out what's going on by first thing in the morning, we can at least get them out of watcher's headquarters. Hopefully nothing else will go wrong before then."

Richard's last comment horrified Andrew. "You jinxed us!"

-#-

Teagan and Suzy had the first watch in the hallway outside the guest rooms -- which were actually recently finished watcher's quarters on the fifteen floor. If someone had expected them to stand at attention, Suzy reflected, they'd be sadly disappointed: She sat cross legged on the floor, near the end of the hallway, where she could jump up and be ready for action before anyone who exited the rooms could reach her.

Teagan paced up and down the length of the hallway, her multicolored sneakers (Suzy's work, with magic markers), making no noise except the occasional squeak as she changed direction. About every third trip she would pause beside Suzy to gasp, "Gerard Way is there. Right there! On the other side of that door!"

"Really? You hadn't mentioned that."

With a quick pirouette, Teagan marched down to the other end of the hall, staring hard at each door as she passed. At the far end she paused, clenched and unclenched her fists, then came striding back to Suzy. "He's fifteen feet from us!"

"Maybe ten," Suzy said to Teagan's knees.

"I just wrote a story about him," Teagan said in a near whisper. "This is amazing!" Then, as if feeling guilty that she hadn't made her rounds, she glanced down the hallway. "How long have we been here?"

"Half an hour." Suzy shot her feet out, trying to catch her roommate unaware, but Teagan gracefully avoided the kick. "Pay attention, their biggest fan might try to rush by us any minute -- oh, wait, that would be you."

Teagan shot her a dirty look, but didn't deny it. Instead, she walked down to the end of the hall, checking out each door, swinging her arms like a soldier on parade.

Closing her eyes, Suzy leaned back against the wall. Why couldn't it have been The Cure? Then they could both have been fangirls without actually going into spasms over their newest adventure.

She wondered if this could have anything to do with Teagan's story. It seemed doubtful -- it was just a story, after all. Besides, if Teagan's story came true Suzy's would too, and that could lead to all sorts of embarrassing revelations. She was thinking about that, turning the possibilities over in her mind, when she heard voices.

Snapping her eyes open, Suzy vaulted to her feet. Teagan had not returned from her last patrol. Instead, she stood by a door, holding an intense conversation with the object of her obsession. Uh Oh. Gerard's hands were on Teagan's shoulders, and their heads were close together as he whispered in her ear. Then he drew back, and they gazed into each other's eyes.

Oh, crap. Suzy rushed toward them, but when Teagan turned there wasn't a hint of guilt in her eyes.

"Suzy! Gerard wants to get to know me better."

"He huh?"

The rocker nodded, without taking his gaze from the taller of the two slayers. "That's right. Ever since I saw her I've been smitten. Please, Teagan, come into my room with me. There's a fridge, there; we can cuddle and drink Diet Coke, and watch my videos. I'll teach you to play guitar, and give you a back rub."

"Oh, yes ..."

As Teagan turned away Suzy grabbed her friend's arm, but the other slayer pushed her away. "He's mine, Suz -- you can have Bob."

"I don't want Bob! Well, I do, but -- Teag, this is wrong! You're supposed to be guarding them, not sleeping with them!"

Looking offended, Gerard turned to Suzy for the first time. "Hey! I'm going to be a perfect gentleman. I would never take advantage of Teagan. Hugging, kissing -- first base."

"Maybe second," Teagan whispered in his ear.

"Ew! Teagan, we don't know what's going on." They ignored her. Gerard opened the door, his hand on the small of Teagan's back to guide her inside. "At least say the rest of the band's not in there!"

"Heck, no." Gerard winked at her. "They can find their own slayers."

The last thing Suzy saw as the door closed was Teagan's ecstatic, expectant face.

"Oh boy." Now what? Turning, Suzy started to pound on Mikey's door, thinking Gerard's brother could help. No -- if Gerard was bad, the other band members had to be, also. She needed help, but the security cameras hadn't been installed in this area yet, and there was no one posted in central control, anyway. She started one way, then spun around, then froze. Think. She needed Giles. No, stupid, Giles isn't here. Think!

Richard, then, or Xander, or Tara, or -- no, not Andrew. With one last look to make sure none of the other doors were opening, Suzy dashed down the hallway.

She headed for the stairs, intent on reaching the fourteenth floor where the in-house watchers lived, but before she could get to the stairway door the elevator beside it opened. Startled, she skidded to a halt, then almost sobbed with relief when she saw who it was. "Giles!"

He stepped out of the elevator and gave her a quizzical look. "Really, Suzy. I know we look alike, but I should think by now you could tell us apart."

"What?"

"You really can't tell who I am? Look closer."

She did, and realized he looked years younger than Giles. The glasses were gone, his hair was a bit longer and more mussed. Instead of tweed, he wore a carefully tailored navy blue suit.

It couldn't be.

"Ah, there's the recognition I expected." He threw her a boyish grin. "It's me, James Raleigh. Your watcher."