Came up with this last night...
all of the Doctors stood on neutral time ground for the annual Doctors vs Companions game day and picnic. They argued about their TARDIS', reminisced about their adventures, compared villains and cried over old and gone companions.
The companions on the other hand spent most of their time mocking and laughing at the Doctors. Until a special guest arrived, neither Doctor nor companion. The beautiful yet dangerous River Song.
"Hello sweeties"
all sound stopped as she walked up to and deeply kissed the eleventh. He pulls out of it with a smile, "River, not in front of the children."
she laughs, "then let's go somewhere private."
the Doctors below ten stared in shock. She looks back at them, "your previous selves? Something to look forward to." she walks to the first, "the original? Can't wait to find your secrets."
he steps away slowly, "young lady, if I had any I would not tell you."
she rubs her finger under his chin, "don't be so sure."
he turns around and trots back to his TARDIS, "come along Susan! We're leaving."
Susan follows as Ian bursts out laughing, "it's just like the Aztecs!"
"if you don't drop that I shall leave you here."
"alright Doctor." he and Barbara follow, still chuckling.
River turns to the second, "aren't you just adorable."
"well yes, I do seem quite childlike, don't I Jamie?" he looks past her to his Scottish companion.
"Aye, any more childish an' we'd 'af ta make you wear a napkin*."
his smile turns into a frown as Jamie's comment sunk in.
she laughs, "I always did like funny men. Perhaps we could have more fun later?"
he looks worried, "what could you possibly mean?"
"you'll find out." she moves on to the third.
The second walks over to his companions, "Jamie, Zoe, let's go."
"where are we going?" Zoe asks.
"not here."
Jamie refuses to move, "no, I want ta keep watchin'. Besides, this is a great learnin' experience fer Zoe."
"Jamie has a point."
"alright fine." he pouts, "if she asks where I am don't tell her I'm under the dessert table." he said, leaving the two.
The third reaches out and pulls her hand to his face. He kisses it softly, like a gentleman.
"oh, you're a charmer."
"only the proper behavior for a lady of your stature." he smiles, layering the charm.
"aren't you naughty, I'd like to see more."
he opens his mouth to respond but is interrupted by his companion Joe Grant.
"Doctor! They're playing a Beatles' song! Come dance with me!"
"oh, alright Joe. So long as two isn't playing along." he bows to River, "until we meet again." he runs off to dance.
River sets her eyes on the fourth Doctor, who meets her gaze and runs away. He didn't get far as she stepped on his scarf. He looks up to see her standing over him. "I always get my man."
he pulls a bag from his pocket, "jelly baby?"
she takes one, "I rather have another type of candy." she walks away and he sighs in relief.
His companion, Ramona, replaces her, "how do you get yourself in this mess?"
"oh, shut up Ramona."
she helps him up as River targeted number five. He was eating a cucumber when she turned him around to face her.
He asks, "can I help you?"
"I wouldn't mind a helping of you."
he coughs, choking on a chunk of vegetable/fruit and embarrassment. "I'm not really sure what you mean."
"don't worry sweetie, you will." she strokes him under the chin and he falls to the ground. She saunters off and Adric looks down at him, "are you okay?"
he nods as Tegan laughs uncontrollably.
Her saunter ends at the sixth Doctor, "hmm, you're a big boy."
"and quite handsome too"
"I could get used to it."
Peri yells, "don't, he isn't worth it!"
"shut up Polly!"
"I'm Peri!"
"maybe later." she wanders to the seventh, "and what about you?"
he lifts his hat, "Rambunctious as always."
"clearly tiger. Let's play later." she taps the end of his nose and walks over to eight.
"you are flirting with all of me?"
"is there a problem with that?" she plays with his collar.
"no, it just makes everything confusing."
she kisses him on the lips, "less confused?"
"no, that made it worse."
she laughs and moves on to nine, "I like the accent."
"it's north." he smiles.
"so I see. Perhaps you'd like to go south of the border?"
"fantastic! Which planet?"
"mine."
it finally clicks, "never mind."
she winks at his embarrassment and walks over to ten. He looks sadly at her. She recognizes the look in his eye. She places a finger on his lips, "spoilers." she walks to eleven, "you know, I rather like the Scotsman."
"Jamie? How?"
"I want to adopt him."
"oh! Yes, he would love that. But we can't." he looks at the boy sadly then whispers to her, "fixed point."
"oh, like that's ever stopped you."
"this one does."
she kisses him softly on the cheek then walks to twelve, "your TARDIS or mine?"
he smiles, "mine, we can lock the door."
the two of them run off.
*if you don't know, a British napkin is an American diaper.
Reviews please. This is the most flirting I have ever written.