Chris picked up the speed of his walk as he spotted Vin and Josiah in the waiting room down the hall from Ezra's room. Neither looked remotely happy about being away from their friend's bedside. This didn't seem like a good start to the morning.

"What?"

Vin shook his head quickly. "We don't know. Ezra seemed to be fine to me. Well, not fine, but nothing wrong. Doctor came into the room about," he glanced at the wall clock, "20 minutes ago and told us to step out."

"That's it. No explanation?"

"He's a doctor Chris. They don't explain, they just do." Josiah rarely sounded pissed off, but today was an exception.

"But it could be just routine review of his condition, right?" Neither of his men seemed to feel that was the case but were reluctant to express their reasons. Just moments after being banished, Vin had been the one to raise the taboo subject – the fear they'd all had but hadn't voiced. Chris was smart enough to read it in their faces.

"Nobody is pulling any plugs. They don't have authorization, and Ezra does NOT have DNR order."

"I can assure you that pulling the plug is the last thing on our minds Agent Larabee." The three men spun around to face the doctor approaching them. "My apologies if that is the impression we left you with."

"It's been 4 days with no change. Guess we're all getting a bit anxious."

"Oh, but there has been change. The monitors were reflecting it most of the night. He is starting to come out of the coma. We've removed the breathing tube to try to make him more comfortable and are decreasing the dosage on his medications."

Vin felt his knees go weak and had to make a concerted effort to remain standing. Josiah's reaction was less subtle as his face cracked with a full grin, followed by a subdued but heartfelt "Hallelujah". Chris was silent for several seconds while he fought to find his voice.

"How long until he wakes up?"

"We can't say for certain. It could be a few hours, or even a couple more days until he decides to rejoin us, but I can assure you that barring any unforeseen developments, he is going to wake up."

"Being out for this long, and with the breathing issues, are the going to be any long-term issues?" Chris wasn't really sure he wanted the answer, afraid it might ruin the only good news they'd had in days, but not knowing wasn't going to change the reality.

"Until he wakes up it is impossible to definitively state any prognosis on those issues. What I can tell you is that his scans are good, there has been no infection and no indication of pneumonia or significant other respiratory issues. Given what happened, and how it happened, that is a pretty remarkable statement to be able to make. Let's call this cautiously optimistic, shall we?" With a quick smile and turned and walked away.

The trio stood staring at each other, each somehow afraid if they said anything they would break the spell. Chris finally reached for his phone. "Guess the others will want to hear this."

"Ya think?" Vin grinned widely. "I'm going back inside. Don't want him waking up alone."

Josiah gently grabbed at his arm. "You heard the man Vin. Hours, maybe days. You have to get some rest."

"I know, but right now, I just need to see this for myself. We'll work out shifts, but for now, it's me." He didn't wait for a response.

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It was quiet the next time Ezra became aware of himself. He wondered fleetingly how much time had passed before dismissing the thought. It really didn't matter. At this point, in his way of seeing things, nothing mattered because it somehow didn't seem significant. More importantly, and this thought did bother him, nothing seemed real. He had a vague feeling that a detail like that should bother him. He couldn't understand anything that was going on around him, or to him, and that confusion was enough to drain his will away. Funny, I thought I was more of a fighter than that.

The one thing he did know beyond any doubt is that he was tired, and not just physically. He was tired of waking up in hospitals. Tired of dealing with rehab, pain pills and the lingering aches and pains that never completely went away. He was tired of spending his time with lowlifes and vermin and people who valued money and power far above any human life. And to what end. No matter how many they stopped, there were always more ready to fill the void, each one appearing to be more devious and less - than the last. He was tired of seeing only the worst aspects of humanity every day. He'd had enough. Where these thoughts were coming from, and why now, he didn't really understand. But like so many things at this moment, that didn't matter.

What did seem to matter to him was the distinct impression that he'd sacrificed enough, and with so little to show for it. Sure, he had a nice home, not that he was able to spend much of his time there. If he added up the hours, he'd probably spent more time in assorted undercover residences than he had under his own roof. Yes, he had a nice car, and a wardrobe that was far more suited to a celebrity than a federal agent. But those items were part of his act. Part of the person that he presented to the world to keep his image intact. He had played that role – Ezra Standish, sophisticated man of mystery – for so long he wasn't even sure himself anymore who he really was.

He had no family to speak of. His relationship with Maude was at best strained. Hardly the ideal mother-son connection. He'd never known his father. Never even been entirely certain who the man was, as that story changed when it was convenient for Maude to create a new background. Personal relationships had never been his strong suit, having spent far too much of his time learning to camouflage his emotions. That was the excuse he gave for coming home to an empty bed. Besides, who would want him? Questionable past, career ending scandals and questionable ethics, at least in the eyes of most people. No respectable woman would come anywhere near him. When he added it all up, he was having trouble coming up with a reason to move past the exhaustion and try to come back one more time.

The voices were back. Just two this time, a bit clearer than before. They were still muffled and distant sounding, but the sense of familiarity was unexpectedly comforting to him. It bolstered his spirits to have that feeling and he decided, without a conscious effort, to allow that sensation to push the negative thoughts aside, for just a moment. As the voices became a bit clearer, his mental fog began to lift. These voices, or rather the men they belonged to, were the reason. Yes, he was tired. And frustrated, and melancholy, and despondent and any number of other states that made him willing to surrender to his exhaustion. But he'd forgotten one very important part of his life. He was part of a team. Of a group that was closer than any family he'd ever had, than any co-workers he'd ever dealt with, than any people he had ever known. He was a part of that, for reasons he would never understand, but would always be beyond grateful for. And if it took every bit of strength he had, he was going to make his way back to them.

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Buck shook JD gently on the shoulder, hoping to avoid startling the young man too badly. How the kid could sleep in that hospital chair was a complete mystery to him. He wasn't surprised to find him in the stiff-backed seat, since Chris had laid claim to the padded chair, but he was surprised by the fact anyone could doze off with that posture.

"Wake up kid, or you won't be able to move in the morning."

"Slept in worse spots than this Buck." JD stretched to get his body to loosen up. It bothered Buck just a little to know he would take a lot longer to pull himself out of that chair a few hours from now, but since Josiah would be sharing 'Ezra watch' with him tonight, he knew that was going to be his fate.

Chris was slow to get to his feet, not due to stiffness or fatigue, but simply because he didn't really want to leave. He'd hardly moved from the spot since he had sent Vin and Nathan home several hours earlier. Eight hours rest, eight with Ezra and eight working on finding Barrington. The last was proving to be the most exasperating.

What had been a cold trail was now frozen solid. The bastard was on dozens of watch lists from almost every law enforcement agency in the world, but somehow was staying of the radar. The best thinking had him holed up in some less that friendly foreign nation, paying off whoever he needed to in order to run his operations. It was a roadblock, no question about it. It slowed them, but no one was giving up yet. Officially, they were being told to back off. Unofficially, this was going to be an open file on everyone's desk until he was locked up for good.

Shaking all that off for the moment, Chris took a step over toward Ezra. "OK Standish. This is getting old. Don't you think you've been lazing around long enough?"

"You have to do better than that Chris." Josiah smiled as he moved to take over the vacated seat. "He's used to hearing you on that subject. Won't even register with him."

"Not so sure about that big guy." Buck was grinning broadly as he spoke, gaze not moving from the long overdue sight of Ezra opening his eyes. "Hey there Ezra. 'Bout time."

At the first hint of movement, Chris laid a hand on Ezra's forehead. "Nope, not yet. You need to stay still. Don't think you'd have the energy to do much more than that anyway."

Erza's lips moved with no sound coming. His face contorted with pain as a small cough escaped. Josiah pushed the call for the nurse as he moved closer.

"Hard as it's gonna be for you Ezra, you best stay quiet for a bit. Had a breathing tube in you until just a few hours ago, so talking really isn't in your best interest yet. I'll see about getting you some ice."

The weak smile that he got in return for his offer made Josiah feel better than he could recall feeling in a considerable period of time.

It was a battle to keep Ezra from trying to talk. Chris's glare had no more effect than did JD's pleading. It was only after the nurse arrived and threatened to sedate him that Ezra calmed himself, but it was evident to everyone that he had not given up on his intention.

"Don't care how important you think it is Ezra, you have to stay quiet. Don't make me give you an order."

"What makes you think that would work Chris?" Buck grinned as he moved closer. "Ezra, listen to me. Nobody on the team was hurt. Only reason Nathan and Vin ain't here is cause they're home sleeping for a change. And we got all the hostages out. Few cuts and scrapes was it. Nobody else was hurt. You did real good Ezra."

That was what he needed to know. His team was safe, his job was done. Ezra smiled weakly as he faded back to sleep.

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tbc