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This chapter is the last of Part One, and I'm afraid there will be less fluff and more drama from now on. Then again, if you like drama over fluff, you'll really get into Part Two.

Freesia Juliet

Part One: My Ancient, My Only

Chapter Eight: Torn

(Bella's Point of View)

I closed my eyes and imagined I was anywhere in space or time but in this place, at this moment.

Maybe I could be back at my wedding, dancing nimbly (on Edward's toes) and winking to Mike and Brad, who were doing their best to be a nuisance to Edward. They had spent every other song vying for my hand, and when I granted my favor upon them I laughed silently as I heard Edward growl with jealousy and frustration.

Or I could be on my honeymoon in Greece, where Edward had given me a private tour of the most secluded and beautiful spots in the islands. We paid a man to borrow his cart and donkey, and we languorously climbed up the steep sea bluffs of the west side of some scarcely populated speck of greenery. It was sunny, but since we were entirely by ourselves, I convinced Edward to take off his hat and long-sleeved shirt, and I gaped in quiet wonderment as my husband sparkled in the light. I even convinced him to pose shirtless by the remains of a Doric pillar while I took pictures. To all the world he would look just like a Greek god. No, better than a Greek god, because he was mine.

But I wasn't at my wedding, and I wasn't on my honeymoon anymore. I was here, in this clinical and cold room, awaiting my fate. It was three hours before the door opened and Dr. Anderson returned, a manila folder clutched in her hands. I dropped the ballpoint pen I had been holding. To pass the time, I had been writing my wedding thank-yous; another loose end tied up.

"So?" There was no strength in my voice- I could barely hear it myself.

She sighed and opened the folder. "The tests confirmed my initial diagnosis, Mrs. Cullen."

I winced, and there was a ringing in my ears that I couldn't shake. "What does that mean?"

"The angina you had last month wasn't just a warning that you've been stressing yourself, Mrs. Cullen. It was a symptom of a much bigger problem. How long have you had tachycardia?"

"Two years, maybe? At least, that's how long since I've noticed it prominently."

Dr. Anderson shook her head. "With any other patient I would say you're much too young. But we have irrefutable evidence."

"Could the tests be wrong?"

"We ran them twice, and my diagnosis was confirmed by both cardiologists on staff here Seattle General. And one who treated you at Peninsula Community Hospital agreed that this had crossed his mind."

"So what's wrong with me?" Please don't tell me, I don't want to know. I want to go home unaware to my husband and ignore the building pain in my chest.

"Acute pulmonary necrosis." My vision blurred a little bit. Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, sang my mind as I tried not to let my knowledge of biology tell me what that meant. But it slipped in there anyway: severe death of heart tissue.

"So I'm dying," I said, silencing the voices in my head. Suddenly the world was very calm to me, as if she had said, 'It rains quite a bit in Forks.'

"There is one treatment option, Mrs. Cullen. You could have a heart transplant. But you'll have more success if you go down to California or back east than you would here in Washington."

Slowly, I shook my head. I had a second option, one I had been planning for almost two years now. Dr. Anderson protested, "You're very young and otherwise your health is good. Your chances of survival are very high! I don't want you to give up on yourself, Bella."

I was silent, fighting the pain in my chest. So my heart was dying. And all this time I thought it was because Edward was so damn gorgeous. "Do you want me to call someone, Mrs. Cullen? Your husband or a friend?"

"No," I said, shaking the feeling off, "I'm fine to drive home, Dr. Anderson." I stood up and opened the door. "I'll talk to my husband and get back to your office," I promised, lying through my teeth.

The shock that I was really dying didn't hit me until I was three-fourths of the way home to Forks from Seattle. Thank God I had had enough sense to drive all the way out to the big city, so that Carlisle wouldn't hear the news. I was counting on him not finding out at least until I could figure out what I was going to do.

Six months. A woman of my health and strength could survive six months with pulmonary necrosis.

I missed Edward. Too bad we had had a fight last night, and he wasn't talking to me. What if I just called him on his cell phone and apologized? Explain to him that he needed to turn me, now that my life span was down to just six months.

But he wouldn't. After all, that was what our fight was about.

"You just don't get it," said Edward with frustration, walking faster. I paused, catching my breath against a tree. Lately I had been fighting a severe shortness of breath, and even our little walks were difficult for me. I wondered passively what was wrong with me.

He waited for me. I gazed resolutely up at him. "I love you, Edward Cullen, and this is the only way I can be with you forever."

"A monster? Something not human, that lurks in the dark, waiting to attack unsuspecting innocents." His voice was full of venom. "Why would you want to be like me?"

"Because I'm in love with you! Because you're the only thing I have left in the world! I know what I'm getting myself into- I've been head over heals in love with it since that first day at school!"

"You have no idea what you'd be getting yourself into," snarled Edward.

I swallowed, willing my heart to calm down. "You promised," I accused in a small voice.

He looked pained. "That was before I realized that I could never watch you suffer like I do. I love you too much, Bella."

Edward wouldn't do it himself, and Carlisle would certainly respect his son's wishes. I could ask Alice, but she's afraid that she might end up hurting me. There was one more possibility, and it wasn't a pleasant one.

But it was my only feasible choice.

The house was empty, which was very unusual for a large family like the Cullens. They were probably all out hunting or something.

I finished packing all the clothes I could fit into one suitcase. Unsure of what to bring, I chose all of the new clothes Alice had recently bought for me. Most of them still had their price tags on. Hopefully they would be appropriate for the task at hand. I locked the suitcase, and began stuffing toiletries into a carry-on bag. Remembering that the airports were very particular about what liquids we could fly with now, I dumped out the shampoo and the hairspray and only took the essentials- toothbrush, hairbrush, lip gloss, iPod, and a battered copy of Romeo and Juliet.

I took a hasty look in the mirror. My face was yellow, my eyes deeply shadowed. Well, being a vampire certainly couldn't hurt my looks.

I took painstaking care as I penned out a note to Edward, and then one to Alice. I laid Edward's open on the bed, right next to the completed stack of wedding thank-yous. I had left nothing behind to fret about. Well, nothing insignificant to fret about.

I peeked into Alice's room and dropped the note in an envelope on her dresser. I was running out of time. I could actually feel my vampire family get closer to the house. In a mad, clumsy dash, I raced out the door and threw my bags in the brand new Audi coupe that Edward had bought for me as a wedding present.

Jasper appeared out of the woods, looking quiet and collected. This was the one Cullen I worried about the most, because I knew he could feel my anxiety. "Bella?" he said with mild concern, sensing my emotion.

I put on a chipper face. "Hi, Jasper!"

"You're nervous," he pointed out thoughtfully.

"Yeah," I said, shaking off his words, "I'm a little nervous. I have a surprise for Edward- I'm finally going to check out some colleges. Oh, but don't tell him!" I warned brightly, "Because I didn't want him tagging along and… distracting me." He seemed to be satisfied. Liar, liar, liar, liar, my head screamed.

"Have a good time, Bella. When will you be back?"

I pretended to consider this. "Oh, probably tomorrow if I'm lucky. You know I hate to be away from him."

I popped into the car and turned over the key, listening to the silent purr of the coupe. Sure, I still loved my truck more, but this one was built for agility and speed, and I was in a hurry to get out of Forks.

Before Edward found out the truth.

Before I crushed him like I never thought possible.

I sobbed mercilessly all the way to the Seattle airport.

My Ancient, My Only, fin.