River of Mud

By: Neptune Butterfly

Introductions and a Tour

"And this is where you'll be working." Roy opened up the door to a smaller room filled with desks faced towards each other. One desk stood out in front of the window across from them facing the rest.

Four guys were standing over one of the desks where a fifth guy was sitting. One had dark hair with glasses and a handsomely pronounced chin, at least that's what Riza thought. The guy beside him was a little taller with white blonde hair she first mistaken for grey except he looked much too young to have any. Another guy shorter than the first two was a red head and had his jacket open. Towering above them was a mountain-like man who appeared to have so many muscles underneath his jacket that they might bust out any second.

All had their eyes on the hands of the guy sitting down attempting to stack two cards on top of a pyramid that reached the height of his blonde head. He was chewing really hard on something that was sticking out of his mouth. None of them noticed Roy or Riza.

Roy sighed and picked a pen out of his right pocket, took aim, and threw it at the card pyramid. They came crashing down to the irritation of the blonde still holding the last two cards. The others turned and protested, but Roy shrugged them off and moved out of the doorway to let Riza in.

Everyone quieted down as soon as she came into view. Riza blushed slightly at the sudden attention, not knowing what to say, so she let Roy break the awkward moment for her. "Everyone, this is Riza Hawkeye. She's a new recruit from one of the local schools and will be working with us starting next week."

"Hey!" They all greeted together including the blonde still holding cards in his hand. He was the first to rush over and introduce himself.

Riza noticed how blue his eyes were, not to mention how handsome he was, but she picked up the smell of cigarette smoke as he came closer. It made her feel a bit dizzy.

The blonde gave her a big grin. "I'm Sergeant Jean Havoc." He took her hand. "Nice to meet ya--"

"--And I'M Sergeant Heymann Breda!" The red head nudged Havoc to the side.

Havoc nudged him back. "It'd be nice to see a pretty face in here for onc--"

Breda nudged him back harder. "--Yeah, cuz I get sick and tired of looking at his--"

The white blonde guy cut in between them. "--And if you ever get tired looking at these two, you could always come to my office just down the hall. I'm Sergeant Vato Falman, by the way--"

"--I'm Master Sergeant Maes Hughes, though I'm hoping for a promotion real soon." The guy in the glasses grabbed Riza's hand out of Falman's grip and gave her an even bigger grin than Havoc's. "I work in the same office as Falman. It's the investigations department and it's pretty busy, but don't let that stop you from paying a visit, okay?"

"Uh-h, o-okay." Riza was all she could say. She didn't know if she ought to be flattered or worried about all this attention.

And it wasn't over. The mountain man with light blue eyes came over and flexed all the muscles in his upper body while greeting her in a deep melodic voice as if he were in a play. "Welcome, Miss Hawkeye! I am Major Alex Louis Armstrong, the Strong Arm Alchemist! I am looking forward to working with you!"

Sparkles seem to come out of nowhere, and everyone else got out of his way as he reached out to shake Riza's hand. His grip was firm but surprisingly gentle for someone his size. She wasn't so sure about the rest of them, but something told her she could definitely trust him.

Roy finally decided to come back in. "I can assure you that every one of them is a good officer, though they don't always act like it."

Havoc, Breda, and Falman gave him dirty looks. They knew that it was true for Roy as well.

Riza wondered where the other two who worked in the office were. "Where's the colonel?"

"Colonel Gran is working at one of the alchemic laboratories with Kimbley this afternoon. I'm afraid you won't get to meet them until next time," Armstrong answered.

"What are they like?"

"The Colonel's a pretty tough guy," Said Hughes, "But if you stay on his good side you should be fine. He's also a state alchemist and often works at the laboratories. Because Major Kimbley just recently passed the state alchemist exam he's been working there a lot lately. Personally, I think Kimbley's a little creepy and a bit cocky for his own good, but he's pretty much harmless."

"Well said," Said Havoc. "Don't worry, Miss Hawkeye. If he bugs ya, we'll take care of 'em." He winked at Riza.

Roy rolled his eyes. "Alright, all of you get back to work." As if anyone could call what they normally do work. He gently pushed Riza back through the doorway, "I need to finish helping Miss Hawkeye learn her way aro--"

"--Come with me, Miss Hawkeye!" Hughes dragged her down the hallway towards his office. "I'll show you where I work!"

"Hey! Wait for me!" Falman called after him.

Roy and the others ran after them. "Hughes! I said I was showing her around!" Hughes was a good friend of his but sometimes Roy felt he had a major listening problem.

Major Armstrong hesitated before following. He felt no need to do so except to keep the others from pulling the girl apart from all directions.

-----

Riza thankfully continued on her tour now that she was no longer alone with Roy. Roy on the other hand grew more irritated. At least with just Riza all he had to focus on was where things were and what they were for, and actual conversation between them would have been minimal. There was no reason for the rest of them to tag along because they would've had plenty of time to get to know her later. It also slowed them down considerably because they all wanted to tell her every funny story that happened in every part of the building they went to.

Neither Hughes or Falman stayed in their office after showing Riza around which made things even worse. Hughes was a talker and kept interrupting Roy in the middle of whatever he was saying to finish it off himself.

Slowly but surely, the group made its way towards the indoor firing range. No one was allowed in unless it was for practice, so they walked on the balcony overlooking the range. Below them, two people were in booths shooting rifles under an officer's watch.

While the rest of the group was busy telling stories Riza watched the men with rifles hitting their marks with deadly precision. She noticed that the targets were human shaped.

"Ever handled a military standerd issue rifle before?" Roy appeared beside her at the balcony railing.

"Not a military rifle, no." Riza looked back at the targets. "Have you ever killed anyone before?"

Roy stared at her strangely for a moment. "Not yet, no. None of us have had any real combat experience yet, but we occasionally help the police out in capturing dangerous criminals and terrorists in hiding."

"In other words, they search us out for something to do," Hughes said. "Never a shortage of crazies in Central."

Mustang's eye twitched. "And some of them have already infiltrated the military."

"I can't help it if they insist on accepting alchemists into their ranks." Hughes shrugged.

"Um, what are the times when the firing range is open?" Asked Riza.

"Twenty four hours a day," Said Havoc. He came up beside her opposite of Roy. "But you have to be at least the rank of master sergeant to practice without supervision after certain hours, mostly for security reasons. Poor Mustang has to baby sit us."

"Better him than Gran, or Armstrong," Said Breda.

"I feel it important to push a soldier to be his absolute best in whatever he does!" Armstrong contested.

"There is such a thing as pushing too hard, Major," Falman said.

Riza noted that Armstrong's voice was always filled with confidence. She also noticed that he was the only one in the whole group that didn't carry a handgun. 'I guess he wouldn't need a gun to protect himself with his build.'

"So, are you any good?" Havoc asked with a smile.

Riza was getting the impression that he might be hitting on her. At least to her, he didn't appear to be a total creep, or a jerk like Roy. Besides, she liked that smile. "I've gone on hunting trips with my grandfather and my brothers and cousins since I was ten."

"With the general? Wow! If the stories about him are true, you could probably beat out the whole military any day!"

Riza flushed at his comment. "U-uh, I don't think so. Compared to my cousins, I still have a long ways to go."

"Hey, you can come practice with us!" Breda nudged himself in front of Havoc.

"Yeah! We can have an informal competition of sorts," Said Falman.

"I'm more partial to knives, but I could come and join ya!" Hughes raised his hand. Riza didn't see anything on his belt and assumed that if he had any knives with him, they were well hidden.

Everyone crowded her with more questions about her hunting experience. Roy tried his best to keep his cool while listening to them jabber on leaning back on the railing with his arms crossed and looking at the floor. He kept in mind that the tour was nearly over. All that was left was the cafeteria, then he could lose them and go home.

He didn't pay any mind to the soft metallic klunking sound coming across the balcony towards them, until it stopped right in front of him and heard a timid voice. "U-um, excuse me."

Roy saw a small, geeky-looking, dark-haired boy with glasses lugging a metal tool chest. The boy was struggling to hang on to it with both hands. His baggy faded green pants seemed weighted down by something in each of its pockets in contrast to his white T-shirt. "Need help?"

"Yeah. I just finished helping out fixing the phone lines here--" The boy stopped. He dropped the tool chest into Roy's hands without giving him warning and looked over where the other men were. Roy saw his face brighten when he recognized a voice coming from the middle of the group. "Hey, Riza!"

All the guys stopped talking and looked at him. Riza turned and was almost knocked over. Small arms wrapped around her waist and a little head had buried itself in her stomach where she felt the glasses making an imprint. She grabbed hold of the boy's shoulders to pry him loose. His hands were locked refusing to let go, but he turned his head up so she could recognize him.

"Kain?"

Kain grinned. "You remembered me!"

He finally loosened his hold as Riza came down to his level. "How could I forget! What are you doing here?"

Kain pointed to the tool chest Roy held with a scowl. "I'm helping dad fix the telephones."

"And where is he?"

"Down in the cafeteria getting something to eat. I told him that I'd put his tools up."

Roy managed a better hold on the chest and walked over to them. "Funny, that was where we were heading. Hawkeye is getting a tour of headquarters, since she will be working here now."

Kain realized for the first time that Riza was wearing the same blue uniform as everyone else. "Oh. So, you're grandma finally decided to let you join?"

Riza was surprised that he remembered that. Her grandmother had asked her what she wanted to do while they were babysitting Kain two years ago. When Riza said she wanted to be just like her grandfather, her grandma didn't take it too well. It was the only time she ever exploded in front of anyone outside of their family.

"Oh, no. She's still isn't very happy about it, but I'm here anyway!" Riza tried not to let the false enthusiasm be too obvious. She still felt a little guilty going against her grandma's wishes. "I'm getting hungry. Want to get something to eat?"

"Yeah! I'm starved!" Kain grabbed Riza's hand. Everyone except Roy made exclamations about food and proceeded to follow Kain who pulled Riza behind him.

"H-hey! What about these tools!"

Kain almost forgot. "Just take 'em out to the truck parked in the front! You can't miss it! And thanks a lot!"

Roy looked to Riza who gave him a smile and a wave from her free hand. The urge to throw the tool chest over the balcony was hard to contain as he stomped away in the other direction growling. How could he ever become a leader in the military if he couldn't take charge of a stupid tour?

-----

The military cafeteria was just as crowded and noisy as Riza's own school cafeteria, but it was also much cleaner and had a wider variety of food. The guys told her that this was where everyone who lived in the dorms ate, but anyone who worked here was allowed in too. It was late afternoon, and everyone who planned to work on into the evening was there mingling with those who were ready to check out for the day.

"All of us in the office live in the dorms, except Colonel Gran of course." Havoc grabbed a tray for himself, then Riza.

Riza took it, but grabbed another for Kain. "How long have you guys been here?"

"Well, I joined when I was about your age. The same goes for the rest of us, except Hughes. I've been here for about three years. Breda too. Falman's been her for twice as long, and Mustang only about four years, like Hughes. I think Armstrong's been here for eight, is that right?" Havoc called back.

"Seven and a half to be exact!" Said Armstrong.

"Right. I don't know about Kimbley though. He's never interested in talking to us unless its business, or to brag."

"I joined when I was sixteen," Said Hughes, who was behind Kain. "I wanted to wait until I had most of school out of the way. I was also helping out at our family store in the countryside, so there was no place where I could stay here anyway." He helped himself to a couple of chicken legs. "Roy used to come out with me for visits, back when he first joined."

Riza thought that was unusual. "Huh. I wonder why he never bothered to visit us. He liked hanging out with my brothers." She scooped up a bunch of fried potatoes and plopped them onto her plate, surprised by the irritation in her voice.

"But Dad and I saw him quite a few times at our end of town. I thought he was there to see you and Sam." Kain said. He was dumping a huge pile of black-eyed peas, his favorite, on his plate.

"Probably not."

"Then maybe to see his girlfriend?"

"He's never had one." Whether or not that was true now, Riza could never believe it to be possible that he had a girlfriend.

"But he flirts with every girl he sees, except you and Sam. But then, you are kinda bossy."

"All right, Kain!" Riza whipped herself out of the line as soon as she got her drink. She sat herself down in the first empty spot she found. The rest followed her. Nobody bothered to talk for a minute as they settled themselves down to eat. Havoc sat himself down on one side of her and Kain on the other. The rest sat across from them.

Kain grabbed the ketchup bottle and squeezed all over his mountain of black-eyed peas and fried potatoes. He thought as he dug into it and swallowed a few mouthfuls, then asked Riza something that's been bugging him. "Why did you want to join the military?"

"I thought you said your dad was here. Go sit with him," Riza said coldly.

"No! You have to answer my question first!"

"It's a good question. Why did you join?" Asked Hughes. "Did you want to see the world? Personally, I would choose the navy if that's what I wanted to do."

"Or for the benefits? Cuz I gotta tell ya, its hard to find a job that provides well nowadays," Said Breda.

"I, um…well…" Riza felt her face get red again. She really needed to learn how to keep that under control. "My grandfather."

"A very admirable man," Noted Armstrong, "But why do you want to follow his example?"

Riza gave it some thought before she answered. "I want to protect others. I can't think of any other way to make a bigger impression than to save another person's life."

"There are other ways to do that, you know," Havoc said. "Why the military?"

"You get to protect an entire country. You make the biggest impression on the largest number of lives," She said.

"But you do know what most people think about us, don't you?" Asked Breda.

Riza did know. The Ishbal rebellion was one of many growing reasons why so many hated the state. Too bad her grandfather retired before it started. "I'm not here for appreciation. As long as I do what I believe is right, why should I care about what they think? I mean, I should care to a certain extent, but not let it get in my way of doing what is necessary."

The whole group was impressed. "Wow. Sounds like something the general would say," Said Falman.

She smiled. "He's the one who told me that. And I believe it."

"Then why was your grandma so mad?" Kain asked.

"Probably because she wanted me to follow her instead. She into charities, particularly the ones done by the local churches. I've worked with her for years, but…" Riza sighed poking her food.

"Just wasn't your thing, huh." Said Havoc.

"No, I guess not."

"If you asked me, you should've listened to your grandmother." Roy spoke up from behind making Riza jump.

Annoyed, she replied, "Well, SOMEBODY has to look after you. We don't need another fire like the Great Central Fire of '84."

"So funny, my side's splitting," Roy said sarcastically. "Anyways, the rest of you need to hurry up and check out, or else the Colonel will hold you over for the paperwork you didn't get done today." There was much grumbling at the table. "And Hughes, you and Falman need to stop distraction them when you have plenty of work to do yourself."

"Aw, C'mon Roy. Lighten up. You've been a real crab lately." Hughes took a big bite out of his roll.

"Its no use." Riza sipped her drink. "He's able to lighten up anything except himself."

"And what is THAT supposed to mean?" Roy said. His eye was twitching again.

"That you're so serious and self-absorbed, that's all." Riza knew that this was only partially true. Roy was usually really lazy and careless until he got his mind set on something. Then he was relentless.

"Is that any way to speak to a superior officer?"

"You won't be my superior until Monday, so back off."

"C'mon guys, no need to fight!" Said Havoc.

Roy held himself back from giving another taunting remark. "Just finish up and get going," He grumbled and turned to leave.

Kain realized something. "Oh, I forgot to tell Dad I was here!" He got up a little too fast with his plate, and his foot caught itself on the bench seat. His plate flipped out of his hand and splattered Roy's whole left side with black-eyed peas and fried potatoes smothered in ketchup.

Roy stopped. Nobody at the table could see his face since his back was turned, but they saw his whole body beginning to shake.

"Oops."

"Kain?"

"Uh, yes sir?"

"You have five seconds before I turn around and hurt you…"

Everyone else at the table scrambled as fast as they could even though Roy wasn't after them. Poor Kain wasn't fast enough. Roy chased him down while yelling his head off and letting a couple of obscenities slip. Kain would've gotten a beating if Riza hadn't come to his rescue. For someone her size she was 'freakishly strong' as Hughes put it as he and the others watched her hold Roy back. Riza got her own new uniform dirty in the process. The rest of the cafeteria laughed and made jokes about the Flame Alchemist finally 'cracking'. After some pleading from Riza and Kain and seeing Kain's father rushing over, he calmed himself down.

When Roy explained, Kain received a lecture from his father about making someone else put up the tools when he said he'd do it and for not telling him when he came back. Kain was nearly in tears by the end. He apologized and gave Riza another hug before they left.

When it was all over, the guys went back to their offices and Roy was dragged out of the cafeteria by Riza so they could clean up.

Riza did her best to hold Roy in place while she used a wet towel to wipe off his uniform. Food was all over the back left of his jacket and pants and Riza couldn't go into a bathroom with him, so they stood by a fountain using the cold water to get the stains out the best they could.

"Hold still!" Riza yanked on Roy's arm. The peas and potatoes were easily taken care of, but the ketchup left dark stains all over. She'd never seen another kid eat with so much ketchup before.

"Yes, m'am," Roy said. He got an ugly look from her.

"Watch it. Why do you always act up like that? Hughes was right. You've been such a crab all afternoon. Normally, you wouldn't take it out on a little kid! And what's with the Mr. Responsible talk? You're never responsible unless you're gaining anything from it."

"Stop talking like you still know me! Its been four years since we've seen each other!"

"Obviously not long enough for you!"

"And why would you even care?"

"I never said I did." Riza scrubbed harder and harder on one very stubborn stain on the back of Roy's jacket attempting to keep her emotions in check. "How can anyone care for someone as selfish as you," She said more to herself than him.

Roy stood as still as he could while she attack the stain. There hasn't been a single person walking down the hall since they found the fountain. He felt he had to say something else. It was a little too quiet. "Speaking of selfish," He said after a minute, "Becoming a soldier isn't worth hurting your grandmother, or your family for that matter. You do realize the state this country is in?"

"I'm not ignorant," Riza said, "I know about Ishbal, and I don't necessarily believe what Hakuro says."

"Its not just Ishbal. All of our borders are pretty tense right now. We don't say much about it, but those who live near them know what's going on and won't be easily fooled by any of our attempts to deny it." Roy felt the constant rubbing on his back stop.

"Well, that's the best I can do." Riza put the towel under the fountain one last time to clean it off. "I know my family's not too happy with me, even Grandpa. But I've made my decision. At least Grandpa's willing to support me."

Roy turned around. "I've always thought that charity work suited you. It's the only time you actually act nice."

"You would have me become a nun to get me out of your hair if you could."

"Hadn't thought of that, but that's a good idea." Roy looked at Riza's jacket and skirt still covered with pieces of food and ketchup. "Need any help there?"

"I can take care of it." Riza decided to go into the bathroom to use some soap.

-----

Roy waited patiently until she came back. The stains were still clearly visible on her uniform, but there was nothing Riza could do. She waited too long, and now the stains were set. Both of them walked back to the office without saying anything to each other. There was only one more form for Riza to fill out; just basic information and contacts for the Colonel.

They had almost reached the door when it opened, and a young pale looking man Riza never saw before came out. The man noticed them coming down the hallway and recognized Roy right away. "Mustang, the Colonel's been looking for yo--What happened to you?" He said with a cocky smirk growing on his face.

"A little mishap in the cafeteria, but everything's fine, Kimbley," Said Roy, straight faced.

Kimbley took a good look at Riza and saw the stains on her uniform. She could tell right off the bat that he wasn't someone to mess with. All of his black hair was pulled back with a red tie making his hawk-like stare seem even more intimidating.

Kimbley slowly gave her a hand to shake. Riza noticed a strange symbol on the palm. "Major Zolf Kimbley."

"Riza Hawkeye." She gave him a firm grip.

"The General's granddaughter, I see. Riza. An unusual name. Short for something?" Kimbley's intense gaze was unnerving.

Riza didn't let him know it bothered her. "Not really. My real name's Elizabeth. Riza is just easier to say."

"Why not Liza?"

"I prefer Riza." Liza wasn't so bad, but as long as she could remember it was always Riza. 'And why on earth would he be so interested in my name anyway?' From what Roy and the others had told her, Kimbley wasn't a very social person.

Another much bigger, darker man with a sharp mustache came up behind Kimbley. "So, you finally made it back, Major."

Roy saluted. "Forgive me, sir. There was some trouble in the cafeteria when I took Miss Hawkeye on a tour of the building."

'So this is Colonel Gran.' Riza quickly saluted him.

"I know Mustang. I had Hughes fill me in a few minutes ago." Gran turned and went back into the office. Roy and Riza followed him leaving Kimbley to shut the door behind them. Riza felt his eyes on her back. She tried to not look at him until the door was completely closed.

"Excuse me, sir," Roy said, "I didn't ask for the whole office to follow us. I was merely following Hakuro's order--" He stopped when the colonel raised his hand.

Gran turned around in front of his desk. "There's no need to explain, Major. You make it sound like you're guilty of some treasonous crime." Maybe so, but Riza could tell by the sound of his voice that Roy was in trouble anyway. "However," She was right, "I will hold you over for the paperwork that didn't get done today."

"Yes, sir."

"Don't worry. The others will get their turn tomorrow. And, Miss Hawkeye, I need you to fill out this form before you leave." The colonel took a piece of paper off his desk and handed it to her.

She took it. "Anything else, sir?"

"No, that'll be all. Just remember to show up on time Monday. Your check-in time is 3:30. Don't be late." With that, Colonel Gran left the office.

Riza was expecting some kind of smart remark from Roy, but he just sat down at his desk and began working. She stood there for minute. She was a little afraid to say anything, but the silence was getting to her. "So, um, where's my desk?"

"The one at the end here isn't occupied. You can take it," Roy said pointing to the desk on his right without looking up.

Riza walked up to it and pulled out the chair. She watched him as she sat down, amazed at how grown up he looked. Roy took the colonel's punishment without complaint even after he left. She remembered what some of the other officers in the cafeteria were saying about him. Guilt rose up inside of her. "I'm Sorry."

Roy looked up from his work. "For what?"

Riza looked away. "For saying you're selfish. You take an awful lot from others around here."

"No need to be," He said and turned back to his work.

"But they're right. You should lighten up."

Roy reach into his door and pulled out a pen. He handed to Riza. "Just finish your form and worry about yourself. I'm under a lot of pressure here, and I don't need another person to tell me what to do."

"Cut that out! I'm not that bossy!" Riza snatched the pen out of his hand. "You were pretty bossy yourself today."

"I was warning them, and as usual they don't listen."

"They're an easygoing group."

"Its hard to believe they're in the military at all."

"I could say the same with you." Riza took only a minute to finish her form and got up. She left it on Gran's desk and headed for the door.

"What about my pen?" Roy asked.

"I'll give it to you when I check in Monday." Riza waved without turning and closed the door.

Roy huffed and returned to his work knowing it will be very late before he got done. He only hoped that she won't cause any more inconveniences other than stealing his office supplies.

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews. They meant a lot to me. I was worried that I worked this chapter to death and finally told my self to just post the darn thing. I have been working on outlining the rest of the story so I could post faster. I hope you enjoyed it and please review! NB

Disclaimer: Forgot to do this last time, and this is the only time I'm going to say it. I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of its characters. Any extra characters are of my own doing and therefore belong to me.