Disclaimer: I do not own Spongebob Squarepants or any other character related to the show. I do own Melissa Jackson and Aquarius.

A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews. Also, a big contributor for this fanfic goes to Northernlight33 :) Thanks for her suggestions. Remember, this is a One-Shot. Anyways, enough with my chatting. On with the show!

Rating: PG-13 (just in case)

Pairings: Squidward/Melissa, Spongebob/Sandy, Patrick/Mindy

Dating Disaster

By

Marih Dimitri

Chapter Four: Dressed to Impress

Squidward was driving through Coral Ave in downtown Bikini Bottom, with Spongebob and Patrick in the back seat, laughing and looking around the sites of the city. Squidward cringed at hearing Spongebob and Patrick laughing. He sharply turned around and glared daggers at them. "SPONGEBOB, PATRICK!!!!!! WILL YOU PLEASE STOP LAUGHING?" Squidward shouted in anger, turning back around, looking ahead at the road, huffing. "We're so excited, Squidward. We're going out on a date tonight," Spongebob shouted in glee. "Yeah...Party! Party!," Patrick exclaimed, jumping up and down. Squidward sulked, his eyes darting back at Spongebob and Patrick. "Barnacles heads," he grumbled. He quickly picked up a newspaper that was in the passenger seat next to him and tossed it back to Spongebob.

"Here, check the newspaper for that ad in the magazine," Squidward spurned. The newspaper flew directly towards Spongebob, smacking him in the face. He peeled off the newspaper from his face and looked at the ad with a smile plastered brightly on his spongy face. "Hey Patrick! Look..there an Ad for a tuxedo sale happening in Downtown Bikini Bottom," he said.

"Hmmm...," Patrick pondered, reading the Ad, "Tuxedo World..Bikini's Bottoms Number One Tuxedo shop. We tailor to your fitting while you wait. Huge Sale. 50 percent off of all Tuxedo's mark. Sale ends at 5p.m.. Oh, We gotta go to that sale."

"Yeah...we can get some good tuxes for our date tonight," Spongebob yelled out excitedly. He jumped up and vaulted himself towards the passenger seat, next to Squidward. "Hey Squidward," he yelled out excitedly. Squidward suddenly screamed, losing his grip on the wheel, in which he quickly grabbed, swerving to the side of the right lane, avoiding to hit a motorboat in front of him. He sharply turned to his left, fuming at Spongebob.

"SPONGEBOB. DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN," Squidward fumed.

"Sorry Squidward. We saw this ad in the front of the newspaper. There's a Big Tuxedo sale going on in Downtown Bikini Bottom. We should go and get some...for our dates Tonight," Spongebob exclaimed.

"I know this isn't going to turn out good,"Squidward exasperated, peevingly glaring at Spongebob, "Alright. Where is this Tuxedo place."

"Hmm...maybe it's that place where all the people are rushing in," Patrick said, pointing towards a building where a multitude of men were rushing inside. Spongebob and Squidward looked at the place, which was a three story high building, nestled between the busiest street in Downtown Bikini Bottom, Conch Street. Squidward sped through a green light and paralled parked his motorboat right next to the Tuxedo store. Squidward slowly got out of his motorboat, with Spongebob and Patrick hopping out right besides him, they're faces plastered with glee. Squidward rubbed his head, soothing the headache that was slowly creeping up upon him.

"This is not going to go well," Squidward muttered.

"Don't worry, Squidward. What's can possibly go wrong?" Spongebob cheerfully exclaimed. The three boys walked through the entrance of the Tuxedo shop. The boys eyes pierced wide open as they saw a throng filled of men, punching, pushing, fighting..and grabbing any type of tuxedos they could at the discounted price. Skeptical, the boys slowly inched their way further inside, avoiding run-in with the many fights that were breaking out in the store. The three approached a long rack, which held a numerous amounts of Tuxedos in all sizes, in a discounted price.

"Well...the quicker we pick out our tuxes..the sooner we get out of here," Squidward flatly said, looking at the array of tuxedo's, checking out the material of each one of them. Spongebob picked up a tuxedo from one of the boxes discounted carts. "Ooo..this is a nice one,"he exclaimed, touching the fabric gently. A male fish was standing besides him, picking out an creamy coral colored. "Hey...this will be perfect for my wedding," he said. Another customer, who was standing next to him, saw the tuxedo that he was holding. Instantly, he grabbed one side of the creamy coral colored tuxedo and started to pull it. "HEY..THAT TUXEDO WAS MINE! I SAW IT FIRST," he yelled.

"GET YOUR OWN TUXEDO, YA WUSS!"

Soon, the two men started to brawl on the floor, punching each other in the face, gut, and ribs. Spongebob watched as the gentleman rolled passed him, fighting with one another. Spongebob quickly grabbed his onyx glazed tux and ran towards the tailoring department.

Patrick was looking at the rack of many tuxedos. He saw a white, shiny colored tux with a pink bow in the neck line, at a discounted price. He gently grabbed the tuxedo, feeling the shimmering cotton through his pink hands, smiling gleefully. Swiftly, a hand reached out from nowhere and snatched the white tuxedo from Patrick. Patrick quickly cocked his head to the left side, seeing a large fish dressed in a white t-shirt with blue jeans on. Patrick walked up to the large fish. "Hey...that was my tuxedo," he said, pointing to the tuxedo that the large man was holding.

"Too bad for this tux is mine now, so SHOVE OFF," the large man shouted. Patrick expression deeply saddened and thus he turned around and slowly started to walk away. The large fish laughed behind Patrick, with his back turned away from him.

"HAHA...Tough luck, Tubby," large fish continued to mock. Patrick suddenly stopped dead in his tracks, he slowly turned around and faced the large fish, with rage in his eyes. "Tubby?!...TUBBY?!?," he bellowed out, in anger. Patrick quickened his pace towards the large fish, tapping his shoulder lightly.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT, TUB", the large fish yelled out, but was abruptly halted when Patrick slammed his fist into the large fishes face, causing him to fall flat on his back, knocked out cold. Patrick quickly took the white tux from the Large man's grip and sneered at him.

"NO ONE CALLS ME TUBBY!" Patrick yelled out, stomping away from the Large man, carrying the white tux with him.

Spongebob hastily ran up to the counter of the tailoring department, ringing the counter bell feverently. A woman, in her mid-forties wearing a beige silk shirt with a suede matching skirt on her and some beige shoes, walked up to the counter, looking at spongebob plainly.

"What can I get for ya, hon?," the woman said.

"Um...i.i..would like to have this tuxedo fitted...please," Spongebob stuttered nervously, looking behind him quickly to see if there were any fights occurring.

"Okay, hon. Ya go to the right side of the wing, that's the men's tailoring section," the woman said, handing him a number, "You're number 12."

"Thanks, ma'am," Spongebob said, running towards the right side of the building into the men's tailoring section. Spongebob eyes widened as he looked at the long line of men waiting for there tuxes to be tailored.

"Hmm..this might take awhile," Spongebob said. He then sat down in an empty chair, happily looking at his onyx tux while holding his number tag. Patrick walked up pass the many fights and brawls that were going on around him. Soon, he saw Squidward, who eyes were gazing upon a tuxedo that was displayed in a window case, and thus walked up to him.

"Hey Squidward," Patrick said, waving happily. Squidward ignored Patrick, glossy eyes staring at the tuxedo in the display window.

Patrick looked at the tuxedo in displayed, puzzled at why Squidward was looking at it. He waved his fin in front of Squidward, who remained unfazed by Patrick's motion, still staring at the tuxedo.

"Uhh...Squidward," Patrick said, confused. Squidward turned around and faced Patrick, his eyes still sparkling with awe. "T-That...tuxedo..is the most beautiful piece of garment..I have ever lay my eyes upon. It's laced with gold rims on the cuffs of the sleeves, the fabric fashioned in nothing but silk, the tie is made from Egyptian cotton, it's the most wonderfully made tuxedo in the market," Squidward said in awe.

"Ooooooo...sounds tasty," Patrick said, looking at the tuxedo.

"Unfortunately, it's an expensive Tuxedo and it's not for sale," Squidward sorrowfully said, glancing at the tuxedo, "I could never afford it. Sigh..just my luck. I find the tuxedo that I wanted and yet, I can't afford it."

"Who can?" Patrick questioned, scratching his forehead. Suddenly, the front doors opened up, revealing a tall man standing in the doorway. Everyone gazed their attention at the man in the doorway as he made his way inside the department store. The light shone upon him, revealing him to be a Squillam Tentacles. He was wearing a white t-shirt with tight, blue jeans, and a leather jacket on top of him. He walked through the various array of tuxedo's hanging around the department, constantly getting stares from everyone.

Patrick turned around, noticing Squillam walking towards the center area of the Tuxedo store, grinning as swarms of people crowded around him. "Uhh..isn't that rich guy you know, Squidward," Patrick inquired, pointing towards Squillam. Squidward turned around, seeing the Squillam was standing at next to a rack of tuxedos, the workers catering to his every whim. "Oh fishpaste. Not him," Squidward thought, "If I walk away quickly, he won't notice me." Squidward darted towards the opposite side, looking back to see if Squillam noticed him, discovering that he left. Squidward breathed a sigh of relief. He turned around to walk towards another section when he smacked right into Squillam.

"Hey there, Squiddy!"

"Oh, Barnacles," Squidward thought.

"How's the food service industry," Squillam smirked, eyeing Squidward intently.

"Fine," Squidward scowled, glaring daggers at Squillam, "What..are you doing here, anyways?"

"I should be asking...YOU...the same thing," Squillam remarked, "Word has it..you have a big date tonight."

Squidward slapped his forehead, signing slowly. "Not you too?! How did you find out about that," he exclaimed.

"The news has been buzzing around town. It spread all the way to my ocean front beach home," Squillam replied, grinning at Squidward. "Why me?," Squidward grumbled.

"So..is that..what you'll be wearing tonight," Squillam exclaimed, pointing towards a tux that Squidward was holding.

"Wha...NO!," he sharply retorted," I"m browsing around..that's all."

"Oh, come on, Squiddy. I know..you're looking for a tux for tonight. Everyone in Bikini Bottom knows that you'll be going out..with one of the hottest girls in town," Squillam snobbed, throwing an arm around Squidward's shoulder, "and with a girl like that, you want to look your absolute best for her."

"Yeah..that's what he said," Patrick stated, popping next to Squidward.

"Patrick..please..not now," Squidward sighed, rubbing his head in exasperation. He threw Squillam's arm off his shoulder, gazing at him. "Now..if you don't mind..I have to be picking out the perfect outfit for my date," Squidward retorted, turning around.

"Oh..I thought you wanted that tux that's up above the window display," Patrick gleefully replied, pointing to the tux. Squidward clenched his fist, steam coming out of his head. "PATRICK...," he yelled in frustration. Squillam looked up the window display, seeing the silky tux, a devious smiled plastered all over his face.

"So..you like that tux, hey Squiddy," Squillam smirked, an idea forming into his head, "I wouldn't blame you. With silk running through the fabrics, Egyptian cotton for the ties and gold trimmings on the cuff, any man would want to have that tux. It's the finest in all of Bikini Bottom."

Squidward looked up at the tux, his eyes glossing over it. "Yes...it really is beautiful..and it would be perfect for my date," he sighed sadly.

"And..it's the most expensive tux also. Only the richest of the rich in Bikini Bottom can afford it," Squillam whispered to Squidward slowly. Squidward turned around, glaring at Squillam, who gazed upon him. "I know what you're doing. You can forget it. I'm not stooping down to one of your freeloading anchovies feeders level. I have dignity," Squidward seethed.

"Why..Squiddy, I don't know what you're talking about," Squillam innocently said.

"Don't give me that," Squidward angrily seethed, "You want me to beg..you to buy me that tux so that why I can do you a favor in return..later on."

"Well..if you insist," Squillam smirked, his eyes locked upon Squidward. Squidward widen his eyes, realizing that he just given in to Squillam. "OH FISHPASTE!!!!"

Squillam snapped his fingers in which a dozen of the warehouse workers immediately appeared in front of him, waiting for his command.

"I would like you to get me that tux that's in the window display. Have it tailored for Mr. Tentacles at once," Squillam ordered.

"At once sir," one of the employees remarked, instantly getting the expensive tux from the glass window. A couple of other employees quickly rushed Squidward into a private fitting room, taking his measurements, his arm and leg width, and also fitting him for some expensive leather shoes.

An hours and many tape measurements later, Squidward walked out of the fitting room, completely dressed into the silk tuxedo, wearing a pair black Louis Vuitton leather shoes. Spongebob and Patrick looked upon Squidward, giving him a thumbs up, while wearing their tuxes.

"Looking good, Squidward," Patrick replied, clapping at him.

"You look fabulous, Squidward," Spongebob exclaimed excitedly.

"Yes..he looks so coral. His date will be very impressed tonight," Squillam smirked, eyeing Squidward intently. Squidward walked up to Squillam, glaring at him slightly. "Well..umm..thanks..for the tux. Now..what is it..that you want from me," he flatly said.

"You'll know..in time, Squiddy," he slyly said, pulling out a woad full of cash and giving it to Squidward, "This is on me. You'll need to go all out..for your date tonight."

Squidward rolled his eyes, stuffing the woad of cash into his wallet. He then walked out of the warehouse, along with Spongebob and Patrick, with Squillam gazing at his every movement.

Meanwhile, at Melissa's biodome, Pearl and the group of girls were giggling excitedly, working on Sandy's, Mindy's and Melissa's hair and makeup. Many powders, brushes, mascara's and eyeliner pencils flew into the three girls, with many colors being spread out. Soon, Pearl and her friends finished, beaming brightly at their masterpieces.

"Okay girls. You're all done," Pearl said, beaming.

"You're all so coral. The guys are going to totally melt when they see you," one teenager girl remarked.

Mindy grabbed a mirror from the floor and looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes widen upon looking at herself. Her eyes were glossed with a bright, sparkly purple eyeshadow, her lips painted a dark red color while her cheeks where colored in a pink blush, her hair gelled into many wild twists and turns.

"Oh...my goodness," she exclaimed, "Is..this the latest..fashion?"

"It's too much," Melissa commented.

"Them gals went overboard...again," Sandy flatly said.

Melissa picked up the mirror, looking at her reflection. Her eyes widen in large proportions upon seeing herself. Her eyes were painted in a fushia sparkly pink color, her lips moisten in a bright pink color, her hair braided and twisted into two pigtails. "What in Tarnations?", she yelled out, "This..is..is...OUTRAGEOUS! I'd say Let's hog tie 'em gals."

"Calm down. You're gettin' ornery over nottin'," Sandy commented.

"Oh yeah," Melissa retorted sharply to Sandy, handing her a mirror, "Well, take a gander of what the 'gal' have done to ya."

Sandy lifted up the mirror, seeing her reflection. Her eyes went wide like saucers, upon seeing the bright pink blushed cheeks, the sparkly red lipstick that was plastered over her lips, and the bright glittery eyeshadow that was painted upon her eyes. Her whole face lit up in a deep crimson color.

"LET'S HOG TIE 'EM CRITTERS," she yelled out in rage, slamming the mirror down on the table, shattering the glass from the mirror.

"GIRLS..PLEASE! Pearl and her friends are only trying to help us look our best for the date. Show a little consideration for their hard work," Mindy scolded, waving her finger into the air. Sandy and Melissa looked down on the ground, embarrassed that they had acted so inconsiderate towards the teens.

"And now..for the topper," Pearl excitedly said, getting a bunch of ribbons. She and her girl friends all started to place ribbons onto Sandy's, Melissa's and Mindy's hair. "Ohhh..you three look so CORAL," she exclaimed while the other girls squealed in delight.

Mindy, Sandy, and Melissa looked upon the mirror, seeing that their hairs were covered with pink ribbons, that sparkled in illiumous lights. The two Texan gals then turned their attention to Mindy, who had a displeased look upon her face.

"Now..Pearl and her friends have gone too far," Mindy stated, looking at the Texan gals, "Okay girls. As you said...'Hog tie 'em."

Both Sandy and Melissa grinned at each other, grabbing a piece of long rope. The two of them then jumped towards Pearl and her friends and with some quick footwork, tied up her friends into one big group.

"There! That outta hold 'em," Sandy said, placing the girls at the side, who were muffled.

"Now, why don't we git this makeup off..and puts somethin' sensible for the fellers," Melissa said.

Two hours later

The girls walked out, dressed into their outfits. Mindy hair was a bit curled in the end, with a light eyeshadow in her eyes, a cherry lipgloss dressed upon her lips.

Melissa's hair flowed down to her shoulder, the end tips of her hair, curled to perfection, her face dressed in a light glossed lipstick, her eyeshadow in a tanned natural color.

Sandy had her hair fur pushed up towards her face, the bangs flowing gently to her sides, while her face was adorned with a light, pink lipgloss and a tanned eyeshadow, matching her fur. The girls then grabbed their purses, walking out of the biodome.

"Here Sandy, "Melissa said, handing her a box, "these are the air pills that we made one time. You should take 'em. Fer one night, you're not wearin' yer ol' Air Helmet."

"Aww, shucks. Thanks, partner," She replied, taking the box and hugging Melissa.

Mindy smiled at the girls, excited about their date. "Come on, girls. We'll be late," Mindy exclaimed excitedly. Sandy popped an air pill into her mouth, swallowing it down, feeling a rush of air going into her lungs. The three girls walked out the entrance way of the biodome, walking towards the Krusty Krabs.

Well..that the end of the chapter. I'll update it as soon as I can. Next Chapter, the date begins..and so does the chaos. LOL...Review Please. :D