Hi, yeah....so I finally updated! I got kind of busy, but Anywaz.... I don't own any songs by Three Days Grace, Simple Plan or Lincoln Park. Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! With that said, here's the next chapter of breaking through!
(Davis pov)
Stumbling my way out of the room I shared with the rest of the guys, I sleepily tried to find my way to the bathroom. I had just woken up from another nightmare and I couldn't seem to stop shaking.
When I reached the bathroom I turned on the light and went over to the sink. I splashed water on my face to try and make myself more alert. It was only a dream... But I know good and well that it wasn't. Isn't it enough that I live with him, why does he have to plague my dreams to?! sniff N..no, I can't do this now. I wiped my face again refusing to cry. I Stared intently at my wrist contemplating whether or not I wanted to... do it. I opened my right hand and gazed at the shiny object in it. Sighing, I raised it to my wrist ready to cut again like I had do many times before.
click
"Oh! Sorry! I didn't know anybody was in here!"
I jumped about a mile high, "D..don't worry about." I stuttered closing my hand again, hoping he hadn't seen anything. I can't believe I forgot to lock the door. Stupid!
"What were you doing?" Matt questioned curiously as he raised his eyebrow.
Damn, "Uh..hh...n..nothing people don't usually do in the bathroom, why?" I asked throwing in a fake grin. That's right, just grin and nod your head, maybe he'll stop asking you stuff.
"Right." Matt says sarcastically.
"What... is that you have in your hand." Matt asked making a grab for my hand.
"Woah!" I said dodging him. "It's just a note. It's kind of private ya know!" I whispered loudly. Matt narrowed his eyes and gave me one of his cold hard stares trying to make me crack down and talk. Yeah right, that ain't happenin' today.
I tried to make my leave when he shoved me against the wall grabbing my arm and prying the blade out of it. I was pretty much in shock, I had no control and suddenly felt this could be the end of my life. He would tell everyone and people would look at me as if I was some sort of freak. I won't let that happen. Before he could get any more suspicious and try to look at my wrists I bolted out of the bathroom door.
That was rude dammit, I was right in the middle of something. Oh well, I'm kind of relieved in a way that I didn't do it, but now I have to worry about him telling someone. He can't really prove it, well besides for the blade cuz he never actually saw my wrist. Whatever. I don't need to waste time thinking about this. I quickly walked back down the hall to my room and got in the bottom bunk right underneath Tk's.
I got under the covers and rolled over towards the wall pretending to be sleep. Not ten seconds later, I heard Matt re-entering the room. I felt his eyes gaze over to me before he went over to his bunk. I was just glad he decided not to try and talk to me. I'm one of those people who sometimes just ignore what happens until people forget. I really try to avoid drama and stuff because I don't really see the point of feeling like that. I mentally sighed knowing that probably wasn't the end of it but drifted off to sleep anyways. Man I really need to get that blade back.
The next Day went by pretty fast, the family ended up having to go to a banquet support my Mom's job. It was one of those fancy things where you had to be well mannered and on your best behavior.
I was sad but also happy that the trip eventually came to an end. I was glad Matt hadn't asked me anything about yesterday, of course it's not like I gave him a chance to. I've been avoiding him like the plague and won't even let him get with in talking range of me. Although I can't really avoid him in the van but it's not like he will say it there.
We had all packed up and were headed on the road for our long trip back to the city where we lived. I was dressed in my regular attire which consisted of a long sleeve navy blue shirt with writing on it, a pair of over sized blue jeans completed with matching navy blue and white converses. I thought about it again and became disappointed that the trip had to ended so soon. I remembered what I would be returning to. If I could, I would never go home again, but like they say, good things never last forever.
Maybe I'm being a bit pessimistic, I don't care. I can be optimistic at times too. But right now since I'm about to go home, I have to prepare myself for literally the worst. I usually remind myself not to get my hopes to high just in case they get crushed later. I looked out the window of the van and saw we were close to my apartment. I must have slept the whole time. Again I felt that same fear nudging at my heart. The same feeling I hate getting every time I look at this place. My mom, driving this time, drove through the gates of my apartment complex.
My mom dropped me off at front of the gates. She kissed me on the cheek and said good bye. It was sad to be leaving her, but I knew I would see her again, someday. I gathered my belongings from the trunk and made my way up the stairs that lead to my most vivid nightmare.
I opened the door ready for anything. Nothing. Nobody was even home. I could tell, his jacket was gone from the hanger. I decided to check it out just in case. Setting my bags down in my room I went to check my father's room. I peeked my head in carefully and sighed with relief. Nobody was there. I went back in my room to listen to some music.
I rolled over and looked at my alarm clock and set it for around 8:00am. We had band practice early in the morning to go over some new songs we decided to play. I got up and turned on my computer to see who was online, I wasn't surprised to see no one on there since it was like around seven at night. Most folks get on late anyways. I sighed there's really nothing to do, I guess i'll just practice songs or something.
Around nine I was tired of practicing songs and stuff I strangely wondered when my father was coming home. Sometimes he skips days on punishing me and what not, maybe he's coming home late. I looked back at my computer and realized my sims game had finished loading. I built houses and stuff for a couple of hours until I got tired.
I went into the bathroom with my clothes and showered. Once I was fully dressed I glanced down at my wrist. I couldn't help but feel a heavy guilt weigh down on me knowing that I had willingly put those marks there. I flashed back to the trip, hopefully there was no need to worry until the next time I saw Matt, it's not like he'll tell my mom...?
Dismissing it, by shaking my head, I angrily grabbed my clothes and threw them in the hamper then made my way back to my room where I collapsed on my bed and fell into another dreamless sleep.
(regular pov)
"So we're going to do I Hate Everything About You, Perfect and In the End? Right?" Brian asked.
"Yup." Chris answered "Those are definitely different types of styles in music!"
"Yeah now all we have to do is practice them, so get your instruments ready and let's get the damn thing started!" Ken yelled smiling.
"Whatever Ken, you know we already took the liberty to practice these songs so they won't sound THAT bad." Brian told him while twirling one of his drum sticks in his hand.
"Hey Tk, we're going to do In the End first so your not gonna play the guitar Malik will ok." Chris said making his his brother feel apart of the band even if it was for a short while.
"That's cool." Tk replied smiling at him.
"Davis you ready?" Tk asked looking at his friend who was sitting zoned out looking on the couch.
"Uh..yeah...i'm good." Davis got up and went over to the mic. He strapped on his bass and waited while Brian counted them off using his sticks.
"Ok for real, that was enough of that song pleeeease let's move on." Chris groaned.
"Fine." Ken said being the one who leads sometimes too. "Let's do I Hate." Ken suggested.
Tk took his guitar from it's case and strapped it on while Malik sat down to watch them play.
"Davis you ready to do some screaming today?" Tk asked laughing.
"Please, I got this!" Davis said while he 'brushed his shoulders off.'
"Whatever!" Tk said rolling his eyes. "Just sing!" Tk laughed.
Brian signaled them off again and Davis began singing with a passion he felt beginning to weld up inside of him.
Every time we lie awake
After every hit we take
Every feeling that I get
But I haven't missed you yet
Every roommate kept awake
By every sigh and scream we make
All the feelings that I get
But I still don't miss you yet
Only when I stop to think about it
I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!
WHY do I love you
I HATE everything about you
WHY do I love you
(davis pov)
Of course I knew what the lyrics to the song meant but on this pacific part it got me to thinking about my dad. I don't know why but all of a sudden I started to scream with this mad edge of anger to my voice.
I HATE everything about you
Why do I love you
YOU HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!
WHY do you love me
I HATE
YOU HATE
I HATE
You love me
I HATE everything about you
Why do I love you....
(normal)
"Wow that was great!" Malik complemented "You guys are sure to win!"
"Thanks Malik, wait til' you hear the next song!" Davis said giving the boy a thumbs up.
"Ehm.." Davis cleared his throat hesitantly as he began the next song. He picked this one because he could relate with it on many levels. There was so much about this song that hit close to home. He looked around hoping he could sing the song without having one of those damn break downs.
Hey dad look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
'Damn I hate this song I can't lose it now, I'm halfway done.' Davis thought bringing a shaky hand up to hold onto the mic.
I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore
And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright
(chorus)
Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand...
'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect....
Davis held out the note for a dramatic ending.
"That was awesome D-man! I'm actually starting to believe we have a chance!" Brian said grinning from his spot behind the drums.
"....Thanks Brian. Um Chris can I use your bathroom real quick?" Davis asked looking toward his right were Chris is standing.
"Sure man, you know I don't mind. We'll just take a break or something until you come back." Chris said waving him off.
Davis left off towards the bathroom and the rest of the boys sat down on the couches to take a break.
(davis pov)
I went to one of the bathrooms upstairs. I closed the door and locked it. I have to get a grip. I could feel myself tearing up and I sure as hell didn't want to cry because I probably wouldn't stop. I walked over to the sink and splashed cold water on my face trying to calm down. I got myself too worked up on this one. This can't happen again. I tell myself. Once I felt ready, I made my way back to the others.
(normal)
"Stop being stupid." Ken said.
"I'm NOT being stupid, it was a perfectly logical question!" Brian said
"If your trying to imply that all stupid questions are relevant to your idiotic charade of learning then sure it was a great question." Ken replied sarcastically
"...I..I..." Brian stuttered nervously.
"Ken stop messing with Brian's brain you know there's only so much it can take in at once!" Chris said laugh while Tk joined in.
"Oh looky who's back." Tk said cheekily
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Davis replied plopping down on the couch next to Tk.
"This practice is officially through, did ya'll bring your boards?" Ken asked.
"Like we leave home with out them!" Brian said pointing towards his near his drum set.
"I have to tell my mom we're going to the skate park. Be back soon!" Chris said as he raced up the stairs to find his mom.
"Hey Tk do you know how to skate?" Davis asked.
"Umm...I don't really know how to skate board but I can roller blade pretty well." Tk replied.
"That's still cool, Chris roller blades too so he might have an extra pair, just ask him when he gets back ok." Davis told him.
"Ok." Tk answered.
They all got there gear even Tk and skated/boarded to the nearest skate park. They enjoyed skating in the streets as much as they enjoyed doing tricks and stuff at the skate park.
"Uh...this was great you guys, but I got ta get home." Davis said noticing it was almost dark.
"That's cool man we'll catch you later Brian said as they all exchanged some weird handshake.
"See ya later." Davis said turning around.
"Wait!" Tk called out, "I'll walk or skate with you. I'll see you guys at school tomorrow."
With that Davis and Tk waved good bye a final time as they made their way towards Davis home.
"Why are you tagging along with me?" Davis asked confused.
"Oh..." Tk frowned, "I guess I wanted to. Plus I want to see what your apartment looks like!" Tk said excitedly.
Davis froze for a second, his eyes widened. h..he wants to see my apartment hm..I guess it could be alright I cleaned the place up and my father hasn't shown up yet. But if he ends up home i'll just make Tk leave...yeah, that's what i'll do!
"Ok, but it might be a bit junky." They silently continued their walk to Davis apartment.
"This is it, home sweet home!" Davis laughed nervously taking another glance around. He sighed everything was like he left it the day before.
"It's cool." Tk looked from the kitchen area separated by a wet bar to the family room were they had a tv set in front of the couch. "I wanna see your room!" Tk glanced at Davis expectantly.
"Er..why not." Davis lead him down the hall to him room and opened the door he locked the door behind them as he took a seat on his bed.
"Your room is nice!" Tk said looking at the collection of magazines and games. "What kind of computer is this?" Tk asked
"Oh it's a Compaq Presario or and Hp computer as they call it now."
"Oh, well mine is a Dell, but whatever works."
"Yeah...you ready for school tomorrow?" Davis asked looking at Tk getting on his computer.
"I guess I'm as ready as I can be." Tk shrugged from his chair. "What about you?"
"Please I'm not ready to hear those lame ass teachers try to teach us something!" Davis laughed
"Oh I know why because you got beef with our teacher Mr. Kakito!" Tk laughed while clicking someone's name online.
"Hell yeah you see how he acts, gets on my damn nerves!"
"Yeah like that one time when Jerry started crying an stuff he went over to his desk and was all like Jerry hun are you ok?" Tk put on him best sympathetic face. "Let me KISS you and make the pain go away!" Tk laughed while he tried to attack Davis.
"N...no, stay away Mr. Kakito!" Davis made his hands into a cross. "I don't like you like that ahhhh!!!" Davis screamed as he fell on the floor.
They both collapsed laughing, Tk on Davis bed and Davis on the floor rolling around. That was until Davis heard the front door shut.
Davis shot straight up, he listened and silently pushing himself off the floor. He could hear footsteps walking around near the kitchen area. Great now I have to figure a way to get Tk out of here without my father or him suspecting anything. This was such a bad idea. Davis thought mentally scolding himself.
"Davis...is something wrong?" Tk asked looking worried.
"N..no, everything's fine, but I think its about time for you to go home, not to be rude or anything." Davis said still staring at his bedroom door.
TG101
Ok that was chapter 8! Tune into the next chapter to see if Davis can get out of this unpleasant situation. Until next time plz r/r and i'll be back