Julie – yep, you're right; it does involve the Minbari :

Chapter 1

2265

Dawn had just approached Tuzanor as Delenn woke up. She rolled over in her bed to take a look at her husband lying next to her snoring a little. After a while she realised that she was unable to return to sleep, so she silently rose and left the room, donning a silken robe on the way out. She thought about breakfast, but decided she would wait until John and David got up, she was not hungry either way. Instead she walked out on the balcony. The sun had come up and it looked as if it was to be a lovely day.

Twenty years, she thought. It has been twenty years.

Twenty years had passed since her world had changed. Since everybody's world had changed. Had she thought then, that one day she would be here, married to a man from the planet she had started a war against just twenty years ago? That they would have a child together? How there was a huge organisation of men and women that were protecting the galaxy, working to prevent wars like the one she once started and she was leading it the best she could?


Oh, Dukhat, old friend. How I wish you were here to see this. I think that you would have liked what we accomplished. Even if at the prices we paid. We have built something lasting, I hope. You would truly have liked it.

She couldn't believe that it had only been twenty years since he had died. She was careful to avoid saying that he had been killed. It didn't seem to fit anymore, not today.

Sometimes when she walked down the corridors, she would almost expect that Dukhat would call her, and if she turned around he would stand in front of her, looking at her a little scolding, but with his unmistakably dignified warmth. And she would be a simple acolyte, his pupil, nothing more.

I miss you very much today, dear friend.

He had seen in her the leader she would once be, she wondered if he would have proud of her, if he would have forgiven the mistakes she had made. If he would have forgiven the mistake she had made.

Delenn was suddenly reminded of the coming days, of the great memorial service that was coming up to honour the fallen in the Earth-Minbari war, twenty years after the war begun. There would be survivors, militaries, relatives of the fallen and politicians and other important men and women from both worlds and she hoped that somehow Valen would get her through these days.

She knew the importance of remembrance, then again, she would always remember it; the guilt was a part of her. Seeing the faces of all the people whose life she destroyed would prove a painful task, she was sure, but even more sure that it was part of her expiation to go through with it.

Then again she wished she had someone to talk to, but there were only two people she could have shared something with, one was dead and the other was precisely the one person she could never speak to about the war, no matter how deep their love was.

"Are you up already?" his voice asked as he stood in the doorway, sleepily rubbing his eyes.

"Good morning, John. I could not sleep any more."

"Are you alright?" He moved towards her to plant a small kiss on the mouth.

"Yes, John, I am fine," she sighed a little absent-mindedly but smiled reassuringly. Delenn regarded the tiled floor for a moment, then continued: "Actually, I was going to ask you if you could take David out to the Virani Mountains alone today?"

"Why? We were going together, I thought?" he said a little accusingly "Work? You promised to take the day off with me and David."

"Yes, I know, but I think it would be a good idea for the both of you to do some – how do you say? – 'male bonding'?" She grew more serious. "I think I need the day for myself, just today."

"Sure that you're ok?"

"I am very much 'ok'. Please, John."

David and John left soon afterwards. John was looking a little worried, but David was much too excited about going to the mountains to notice. Delenn had felt an uncommon surge of relief as they left and she was able to enter the library. Today, she could not stand cheerful company. She sat down in one of the large armchairs John had imported from Earth, resting her head against the worn-out leather.

Twenty years. It refused to leave her head. She missed him a lot today.

"Computer, please play personal log of Dukhat, June 2245."

"Please provide password."

She provided the password, and closed her eyes as the pleasant, wise voice of her teacher filled the room, telling about his plans for his people and her. He told her that he was intending to make her a full member of the Grey Council within time, that he thought her to be ready. She noted how his voice was filled with pride as he spoke about her.

Oh, if you only had seen that I was not ready. I was not worthy the trust you gave to me. You would never have let your mind be controlled by grief and rage. You would never have called for revenge without thinking. I was so foolish. No death of a Human ever brought you back.

One tear dried quickly on her cheek.

The following hours she moved backwards in his logbook, taking it one Human month at a time, listening to his thoughts and ideas, carefully avoiding his last entries. Now, being back in November 2244, she heard a damped and grave Dukhat absent-mindedly recall the daily activities of the Grey Council. It felt comforting.

"Computer, please play October 2244."

Dukhat rapidly accounted for a small problem in the Council in the last days of October.

"Please play the records from all of October."

"There are no more entries in October 2244."

She opened her eyes in surprise. Dukhat had kept diary meticulously, with an entry at least every second day, often more.

"Then commence playing September 2244."

"There are no entries in September 2244."

Now she sat up. He did not keep a log for two months?

"Play August 2244."

"There are no entries in August 2244."

"Play July 2244."

A second later his voice gripped her again, telling about his worries for the Grey Council and his own problems, how he felt tired of his avocation and how he felt that the important things were lost in the windings of bureaucracy.

Three months? There had been no entries for three months? She tried to recall if she knew where he had been at the time, but could not remember, at that time she had been very busy with her own assignments. She could not remember that she had seen him during this time, but that was not uncommon, since he often was away on business or on his own little excursions. Nonetheless, he had always kept a detailed record of his doings.

"Computer, stop."

She rose out of the chair, suddenly intrigued. She had been told by Kadenn, Dukhat's aunt and now clan eldest, that these files were his full logbook. Had she lied? But why would she? To preserve a family secret, an unfortunate event that would cast a bad light on the clan?

Leaving the room swiftly, she set course for the house of Kadenn, her wistfulness substituted with an increasing curiosity.

Any comments are very much appreciated! Chapter 2 to follow soon.