Crackfic, oneshot, yaoi, slight Alexis bashing. OOC-ness abounds. No likey? SHOO! (the Back button has a purpose, you see?)
Summary: All Alexis wanted was to sneak into Zane's room to talk to him. Next thing she knows, she wakes up in the hospital! Why did that person hit her with a shovel...?
Pairings: multiple, all YAOI!
Disclaimer: Who's made out in the show yet? Nobody? Then I don't own it. Good-bye!
Blue eyes slowly opened, then immediately shut again. Bright hospital lights were not the first thing Alexis wanted to see right now. Her head really hurt, and—Wait, hospital lights!? The blonde bolted upright, tossing off glaringly white covers to see her Obelisk uniform dirty and torn in places. What the hell had happened to her!?
She took a deep breath. Ok, the last thing she remembered was last night. Alexis had snuck out to see Zane. He was visiting the Academy for a while, but had been avoiding her. From what Mindy and Jasmine told her, Zane had been avoiding a lot of people
since his return. But when she was standing under his window, she heard some rustling in the bushes behind her. When she went to see who it was, a shovel had come out of nowhere and hit her in the head!
So now her head really hurt. Alexis walked over and pulled back the terribly white curtains around her bed and saw Jaden. But he wasn't alone. Syrus sat in his lap, the taller boy's arms around his waist. Both of them were asleep, and Alexis thought it was kind of cute, in a really weird way. She sneaked out of the room, and headed back to the blue dorms to clean up.
On the way, she saw Chazz, who looked annoyed. Right behind him was Bastion, who was talking, or at least trying, to the dark boy. Alexis panicked. Chazz was bound to see her, and start acting all lovey. It was so creepy! She jumped into the bushes by the path as the two boys walked closer.
"Come on, Chazz." "No, Bastion! That's enough, we're gonna be late!" The pointed-hair boy ran up to Chazz's side, grabbing his arm. "We've got plenty of time, koi..." he said seductively. Two pairs of eyes widened. Alexis would have screamed if she could. But luckily she choked on the sound, and Chazz blushed. "No, we don't. Class starts soon." Bastion dragged Chazz over and pushed him against a tree. "You were going to skip it anyway, so why not?" Alexis watched fearfully as the Ra yellow pinned Chazz's arms above his head.
The once-Obelisk muttered something Alexis couldn't hear. "So sorry, what was that, Chazz?" The pale boy glared at his captor. "I said: Don't you care if you're late?" Bastion smirked. "Apparently not, if it means I get you all to myself." Chazz growled, looking past the taller boy. Unknowingly, Alexis had leaned forward to hear the Princeton, and his dark eyes locked with hers. "Alexis!" She gasped at hearing her name, and Bastion turned just enough to see her duck back into her hiding spot. "So, Alexis, eavesdropping?"
The Obelisk gulped. She was trapped! So Alexis did the only sensible thing that she could do: she stood up, eyes widened. And she ran. That girl ran for her life, eyes streaming disturbed tears. She ran until she couldn't run anymore, which happened to be right near the blue dorms. Alexis sighed, and went to her room to change.
After she had a shower and clean clothes, she decided to check on her brother, and then go see Zane. But, there was no sign of the older Rhodes. And Alexis knew he was here. She had a feeling he was somewhere in the dorms. So, she temporarily abandoned her search for one, and began her quest for the other. First, she checked the dock. He was almost always there, thinking about something or the other. But he wasn't there.
Back at the Hospital...
Syrus yawned as his eyes slid open. Wha...? Oh, right. The small boy snuggled closer to Jaden, smiling happily. Wait, what had—oh, Alexis was gone. Wait, Alexis was gone!? "Jaden, Jaden!" the little boy cried, shaking the brunet. "Huh, what is it, Sy?" the taller one said, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. "Alexis is gone!" "What!?" The door slid open to reveal Bastion, looking happy, dragging along a sulky Chazz. "Wow, Bastion, you look happy." Jaden commented. The Ra smiled. "Chazz and I just had some fun." "Pre-Class Makeout Session?" "Of course." "Didn't have to be so rough..." Chazz mumbled, pulling up the collar of his jacket.
Bastion ignored the other, used to his complaining. "Just came to tell you two that Alexis apparently snuck out earlier. She seemed fine when we saw her, right Chazz?" More muttering was heard from the other, but Chazz was silenced when Bastion elbowed him in the ribs. "Yeah, yeah, Alexis is fine." "When did you see her?" Sho questioned. Bastion only smirked. "This horny bastard had me up against a tree, and—" Chazz stopped, realizing how he sounded. After a couple coughs from the blushing Princeton, he continued. "Alexis was hiding in a bush. She ran off after she saw Bastion and me."
Jaden laughed. "Well, that's good! Wait, she ran off?" "Yes. Ran off crying." "Crying?" "He asked her if she was eavesdropping." "Oh. Do you think she's okay, Jaden?" "Sure she is!" The older boy said, smiling happily at his boyfriend. "Alexis can take care of herself. She's a big girl." "Okay, I guess..." "Well, we're going. See you gentlemen later." Bastion waved and turned around to leave, dragging Chazz after him. Syrus sighed and leaned on Jaden. "If Alexis ran away from Chazz and Bastion, what if she sees Zane and Atticus?" "Uh," Jaden thought for a second.
Back with Alexis...
Where was everyone!? Alexis had looked all over the school, but she couldn't find her brother or Zane anywhere! A sigh escaped the blonde. She did have a class that day... but she could miss it. It was only Crowler screeching on about traps, anyway. Who paid attention to his lectures, if they could be called that. Their teacher was even more girly than Syrus! And that was saying something.
Alexis shook her head, trying to clear thoughts of her genderly-ambiguous professor. She took a seat on the path, leaning against a tree and thinking. Neither of them were in the stadium dueling, they weren't on the grounds, she didn't see them in the classrooms after a peek inside. So where the hell were they!?
Twigs snapped behind Alexis, and she turned around to see Atticus walking toward her, followed closely by Zane. "So, what now?" Atticus asked, bored for once. Zane remained silent. "Come on, Zane, there's gotta be something to do... besides class. Who cares about that, we should be doing something more entertaining." The two stopped for a second, and Alexis watched from her hiding spot as Zane closed in on her brother, placing one hand on his shoulder. "I know something we could do..." the taller Obelisk said, his tone containing a hint of suggestiveness.
"Aww, not now! We did that last night, and, well..." "What's wrong?" "Eh, heh, well, you see, before I went to your room, I had to take care of... something." "What something?" Zane asked, eyes narrowed. "Well... I kinda... sorta, caught Alexis spying on you." "And?" "And... I panicked?" The blunet glared at Atticus. "What did you do?" Atticus laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. "I... hit her in the head with a shovel" he blurted out quickly. "...You did what?"
Alexis's mouth dropped. Atticus had attacked her!? "You hit her. In the head. With a shovel?" "Uh, yeah!" "Where did you get the shovel?" Atticus laughed nervously again. "Actually, and I swear this is the truth, it was just lying nearby." "So, you hit your sister in the head, and then came to my room so we could—" "No! No!" Atticus waved his arms frantically, a look of happy horror (yes, he can look happy and horrified at the same time) on his face.
"Of course, I took her to the infirmary before I came to see you, Zane!" His taller companion still looked angry. (When doesn't he!?) "And it hasn't occurred to you, all day, to check up on her?" Atticus blinked, cluelessly. "Well, I was gonna go later today." Zane sighed, aggravated. "Oh, come on, Zaney!" Atticus yelled out, throwing an arm around Zane's shoulders. "It's not that bad, I didn't hit her hard, she'll live! In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if she was already up and out of that terrible white place!"
"Fine." Zane stated calmly, wrapping an arm around Atticus's waist. "If Alexis is fine by now, why don't we get down to that entertainment that you were talking about?" The hiding blonde stifled a scream as her best friend pulled her brother closer to him. "Zane?" Atticus questioned nervously. "What?" "Why have you been so horny lately? First last night, then this morning, and now this!?" Alexis's eyes widened at what her brother was saying. Atticus and Zane were... together!? Okay, Bastion and Chazz were weird enough, but now this, too!?
The Truesdale chuckled evilly, looking at Atticus in a way the shorter boy knew was not good for his ass. Zane leaned in closer, and Alexis accidentally let out a small squeak. "Well, I'm like this now because your sister is watching us from that bush." Two Rhodes gasped, and Atticus's gaze instantly shot over to where Zane was staring at the bush Alexis was hiding in.
Once again, Alexis shakily stood, staring with widened eyes at her friend and brother. Actually, Alexis thought, the way Zane was holding Atticus was almost cute, in a freaky possessive kind of way. Oh, no, she was NOT thinking that right now.
"Uh, Alexis!" Atticus shouted nervously, smiling hugely and furiously rubbing the back of his head. "Uh, how much of that did you hear?" "You hit me in the head with a shovel!?" "Hey, little sister..." "Don't you 'little sister' me!" "Alexis, unless you wish to see what Atticus and I did last night after your little encounter, I suggest you leave." Atticus blushed and looked away. Alexis 'meep'ed and stood frozen for a second. Judging by the position of Zane's hands... she should run.
So, of course, that's just what she did. "Aw, you could have been a little nicer, you know? She is my sister." "You hit her in the head with a shovel. And you're telling me to be nicer?" "Uh, sure!" "Well, now that she's gone, why don't we get back to what I was saying before?" "But Za-a-a-a-a-ane!!! I'm in pain." Atticus tried his best to send hopeless sad eyes to the taller boy. "That won't work. I'm immune." "Damn. Well, just be gentle this ti—" His whining was promptly cut off by a certain Obelisk who shall remain unnamed.
So, in short (because this is dragging), Alexis ran to her dorm (again), fell into bed and slept. The next morning she woke up, shook off another freaky dream about all her male classmates being horny for each other, and got ready for class. Crowler handed out a pop quiz, she passed (goody two-shoes), and Jaden failed (once again, again). But, (and isn't there always a 'but'?) after class, Alexis noticed something. This something happened to be the fact that everyone she dreamed about being couples last night left class together. First Bastion dragged Chazz out, then Zane did the same with her brother. Finally, Jaden and Syrus left, the taller boy having his arm around the smaller's shoulder. Alexis blinked. That had been just a dream, right?
Bleh, sorry to Alexis fans out there, but this idea wouldn't leave me alone! glares at idea (yes, I can glare at my ideas. They just have to be either written or typed out first) but I digress. I can't write smut! ( . ) Flames are expected, and will be given to my pyromaniac friend, with the leftovers being used to warm my hot chocolate ('cuz cool people have hot chocolate in the spring/summer )