Chaxra-san also writes some EXCELLENT Kingdom Hearts fanfiction, so you should definitely check his/her profile and read some of it.
And... Rai... Zexion has been mentioned quite a few times in the past two chapters. He and Lexaeus just haven't spoken because... I really couldn't find anything interesting for them to say. I was having too much fun with Xaldin's puns.
Also! Credit must be given to the songs!
Chapter One - Stephen Lynch: Hermaphrodite Fergie: Fergalicious (Demyx Remix by moi!)
Chapter Two - Aerosmith: Dude Looks Like a Lady (Marluxia Remix)
Say Anything: Wow, I Can Get Sexual, Too!
Chapter Three - IT'S A SURPRISE!
Kingdom Karaoke
aka
"Why You Don't Let Demyx Talk You Into Doing Anything Involving A Microphone"
Chapter Three - The Lamest Kingdom Hearts II Joke EVER.
Pairings: XigDemVexMar, ManSaix, AkuRoku...
Disclaimer: I own nothing! NOTHING, I SAY! I still want a Demyx and a Vexen, though. WANT, people, so no suing! I always want what I can't have (which is why most of my fanfiction has no reviews).
Warning: Um... Axel's about to get seriously scary... considering my love of FFTL, I had to put some in here... I just said sentimental at the end of the last chapter because I wanted you guys to keep reading. Lol!
Inspiration: Marijuana. Kidding. I'm actually on acid when I write these. xD (Again, kidding.) Same as last time.
--
So, uh... where were we...?
Oh, right. Nearly everyone in the Organization was at each other's throats: Marluxia; for everyone bashing him, Xigbar; for everyone trying to steal his boyfriend, Demyx; because he knew Larxene was going to kill him whenever she got the chance, Larxene; for being extremely embarrassed and almost killed, Xemnas; for being too drunk to even remember why he wanted to turn some Nobodies into Dusks, Saix; because he wasn't getting any... the list went on...
Only Axel, Roxas, Lexaeus, and Zexion were sitting contentedly in their seats, waiting for the next contestant in the World that Never Was Idol.
"This has GOT to stop..." the Silent Hero muttered to his emo-esque friend.
And then Axel got a bright idea! Everyone, of course, knows that Axel's bright ideas lead to bad things happening. I'm sorry, but after making so many AMVs and watching the clips over and over again, the author couldn't resist the most obvious joke for the first hour of Kingdom Hearts II, and she apologizes in advance if she inadvertantly blinds someone or gives them nightmares.
That said, Axel walked to the stage and flipped through the songbook, looking for a song that was more soothing, so that everyone could calm down until someone decided to be a flaming moron again.
His emerald eyes grew wide in surprise and glee as he found the perfect song. It was a ballad, one he would sing for his wonderful Roxas, one that would hopefully bring tears to the eyes of the rest of the Organization (or just Demyx).
As the soothing, light music began to pour out of the sound system, everyone settled down a little, and listened. They were tense, and if the song wasn't just right, they were going to go back to arguing, like wild dogs. Or, um, rabid bunnies on crack. Whatever image you prefer.
"Maybe it's intuition,
But some things you just don't question..." he sang, soulfully and sweetly.
About half of the Organization was impressed. Finally, a mature song!
"Like in your eyes:
I see my future in an instant and there it goes,
I think I've found my best friend," he continued, his emerald gaze meeting the touched sapphires of Roxas. Roxas felt like melting onto the floor and becoming a puddle of boy-love.
How the Hell did Axel know Savage Garden was his favorite band?
"I know that it might sound more than a little crazy, but I believe..."
As expected, Demyx's blue-green eyes were filling with tears as Axel sang his love song to Roxas. To him, it was pure and beautiful and romantic... Demyx was such a sap.
"I knew I loved you before I met you.
I think I dreamed you into life.
I knew I loved you before I met you.
I have been waiting all my life..."
But Zexion was not impressed. He was actually befuzzled! Although the melody was soft and sweet, the lyrics were almost disturbing.
Before Axel could begin the next verse, he spoke out, "Excuse me for interrupting, Number VIII... but I think that is called stalking."
Lexaeus snorted at the Cloaked Schemer's observation.
"What?" the Flurry of Dancing Flames asked through clenched teeth, annoyed that his performance, his declaration of love to Roxas through the fine art that was music, and the wonderful muse that was Savage Garden, ruined by the quietest of Nobodies.
"How can you love someone before you meet them?" Zexion continued, one arm folding over his chest, one hand tapping at his chin. "Unless you have some sort of obsession, and you mistake that for love... I don't think it's really possible..." he finished.
No one could deny that. And Zexion had just ruined the greatest ballad of the year 1999. (1)
Axel's expression went from 'Oh, no, you DIDN'T!' to 'It's on now!'. "You wanna see stalking, you emo bitch?" he asked.
"Langwish!" Xemnas screamed. He wasn't slurring that time, he actually thought that was how the word was pronounced.
"ROLL THE NEXT FUCKING SONG!" the redhead roared. As if it actually heard him, the Karaoke machine skipped forward to a harder, more metal song.
The room suddenly seemed dark and cold and creepy, even though it was white and the palest of periwinkles.
"Every day gets worse,
Locked in a vice my thoughts perverse.
You must wonder why I look at you that way..." he wailed, and in the background, someone eerily chorused the last two words. 'That way!'
Demyx shivered, and Xigbar held him tight.
"Tonight I'll make my way into your house.
I must; I'm lusting for your body,
Skin looks tight, think I just might have
To take a bite."
Marluxia finished up his Text Message, and both he and Vexen disappeared. No one paid them any heed; everyone else was frozen solid in sheer fright.
'Well, that's ironic,' Xaldin thought.
Except Xemnas. He was drunkenly trying to pull down Saix's pants, just for a giggle.
"But, I know one will turn
To three or four or more, my little who--" The last two letters of the word were cut off by Demyx's scream.
"I CAN'T TAKE THIS CREEPY STALKER-RAPIST METAL!" he sobbed. His poor, pop/alternative-rock loving ears just couldn't stand it.
"Tonight, tonight he's not alone!" Axel sang.
"Can you taste the wicked in the room?" the creepy background voice asked.
"Bobbysoxer, so pure, so young...
By morning, his soul will be gone, gone," Axel bellowed into the microphone.
The Karaoke machine was suddenly struck by a fancy keyblade with a lot of pretty colors on it, sizzling, skipping, and finally dying out.
Demyx looked like he could kiss the Key of Destiny. (We all know that neither Xigbar nor Axel would permit this.)
"You know, that's really a shame... I was going to sing next..." Lexaeus intoned, standing up.
No one really cared that the machine was broken. They didn't WANT to hear Number V sing.
"Hn. It might have been a duet..." Zexion muttered.
And suddenly, someone shouted, "SOMEBODY GET ANOTHER KARAOKE MACHINE, NOW!" because everyone was intrigued by the thought of what Zexion could sing.
--
OMG, short chapter. Sorrry... I apologize again if Axel disturbed you too much.
(1) This is not an opinoin. It's a fact. xD Savage Garden ROCKS.
Axel: -continues singing as if Demyx's screaming wasn't a cue to stop.- "I did a beautiful thing... Relax baby... that's a good uke..."
Demyx: -sobs uncontrollably.- Whyyyy did I join the Organization?
Xigbar: Um, because, without you, their would be no dorks?
Riku: Sora's a dork.
Roxas: No, Sora is an idiot.
Xigbar: Um, dude, Sora is... you... sorta...
Good night!