Narcissa woke instantly from a deep peaceful sleep. The empty bed behind her immediately removed all memory of her safe dream. A clinking noise brought her attention to the house elf who was clearing away her's and Severus' hot chocolate cups from the night before.

"Wait," she said sitting up so quickly her head spun, making the fact that she hadn't eaten at all yesterday painfully clear. The small elf turned back to face her.

"It's alright Ms. Narcissa. When you couldn't sleep last night , I shared a cup of cocoa with you. I'm just clearing it away now. I've already cleaned away the rest of your things," she said with a meaningful glance at the middle drawer of her dresser.

"Maggie," Narcissa called again and she came back. "Thanks."

"Say no more, but if you want to read it, I'd suggest now. Time is a factor." Before Narcissa could say another word, she had left and shut the door behind her.

Narcissa scrambled out of bed and across the room, almost snatching the drawer out as she reached it. Maggie had closed the trapdoor neatly, and it opened easily as she hit the hidden button. Tucked away in the corner was a tightly folded slip of paper.

Severus' note held nothing unusual, making no mention of her engagement at all. It was full of plans of the future, most including her. All in all, it made her heat tighten. There was no way to break the engagement and she would have to tell him so. Somehow, she would have to convince him that she would need to go through with the marriage. She would tell him tomorrow night when he came again. Her resolve weakened only a little when she saw the post-script: Wait for me.

She heard the top stair creak and quickly refolded the note. When her mother entered the room, Narcissa was under the covers , feigning sleep with reasonable proficiency.

"Narcissa sweetheart," came her mother's soft voice and for the billionth time, Narcissa wondered why a girl like her mother had married a man like her father. However, for the first time she could remember, a little thought came to her in answer to her question: maybe her mother had had a father like she did.

Prearranged marriages were now, for the most part, nonexistant. However, for some of the wealthiest pureblood families, the idea of intermingling with muggles was so repulsive that drastically outdated steps were taken. Her mother smiled down at her and a wave of self-hatred swept over her. She hated to lie to her mother.

"We're going shopping. What time can you ready by?" her mother asked, and Narcissa thought for a moment.

"I can be ready in an hour and a half. Maybe less. Why the sudden shopping spree?"

Her mother hesitated a second, smoothing the bedclothes. Was it Narcissa's imagination, or did her mother look a little sad? "Your father has invited the Malfoy's for dinner tonight. He thinks it best that we all get to know each other." Her mother tactfully looked away as Narcissa recovered from that statement. "I thought maybe some new clothes for tonight would help you feel better."

"Yes, Mother," Narcissa told her, thankful she was looking away and not watching her dry her eyes on she sheet. "That would be great."

"Alright then, I'll be waiting downstairs."

Severus kicked at the snow on the sidewalk, grateful that he'd been able to hold his temper while at work. An outburst like this at Borgin and Burkes would have broken something that might have cost twice his yearly salary. Now though, with no one in sight along the dark street, an outburst was impossible to hold back.

It was all falling apart, right in front of him. This despair that threatened to overwhelm him now felt cold, clammy, and familiar. He remembered those years before he'd known Narcissa. Everyday he'd gotten up and wondered what to live for. That jerk Sirius Black and his perfect assortment of friends hadn't helped matters either.

His seventh year though, Severus had met Narcissa. Suddenly life had purpose and he was past caring about what Boasting Black or Perfect Potter thought. She became his most important concern. Even more importantly, she'd cared about him as well.

Although he'd decided to pursue special studies in Defense Against the Dark Arts, Severus had always had a great aptitude for potions and a love of learning. He had been reading potion books on his own time in the Library when he'd first met her. Going to a school with the number of people that Hogwarts had, Severus had seen Narcissa in the Hallway before. That day, he hadn't even been sure she was from slytherin, but he hadn't cared.

But they'd met and talked. Narcissa was studying for her O.W.L.S. and it was Potions she was worried about. Although enjoying the subject herself, she was a self-confessed klutz at following the instructions. Severus helped her, however, even lending her his own Potions book with his special adjustments in the margins.

When he'd graduated that year, their relationship had continued. It was because of her that he worked day and night in Borgin and Burkes, hoarding his money and spending only what he had to. It had been she who told him that Potions was much more his style, and even though he'd missed his chance to take the course in school, he should take a special course in teaching Potions. Now he was stuck on the sidewalk, 10 minutes late for his class, with money in the bank, and drowning in the knowledge that, had he been rich, it still wouldn't matter to her father. He had tainted blood.

Even though he'd tried not to hear, Severus had learned who Narcissa's husband would be. As soon as he'd heard the name, Severus knew the reason the Malfoys' son had been picked. The Malfoy's were one of the most wealthy pureblood families, something Severus could never accomplish.

He had no plan, but he couldn't let go of her that easily. Resisting the urge to act like a complete fool and begin to pound the snow beneath his fist, Severus forced his breathing to become calm and thought up a good excuse for being late. Teaching Potions may have been Narcissa's idea, but it hadn't been a bad one.

He enjoyed Potions and maybe he could be a good teacher. Maybe he could be a role model for kids who had been like him, with no purpose in life, and nothing to live for. He turned slowly on one foot and after a loud pop, he was nowhere in sight.

A/N: i don't really know how old everyone is. i just kinda put it in there.