Both flinched at the remembrance of their evil doings.

"This 'little' quarrel is really going to cost me big gallons, boys. Not everything can be fixed with a little magic."

Dumbledore scorned, bushy white eyebrows furrowed.

"I had hoped we could ignore this conversation by me just sending my letters, but apparently that didn't work."

Harry suddenly looked concerned.

"We aren't distracting you from anything really important, are we? Hey… is that a laptop? What website is that?"

Dumbledore slammed the laptop shut and flung it, knocking Fawlks off his perch.

"No, no, nothing important!"

Draco, very baffled at this, finally spoke up as something soaked in.

"Wait a minute Professor… what letter? What do you mean… expelled?"

"I mean just what I said, Malfoy. I just expelled you both for your destructive actions through the letters I sent you tonight. You both crossed the line. Very much so."

Draco was even more baffled than before.

"Letter… I never got it…"

Harry looked ready to point at him and laugh, but thought the better of it for his situation. Dumbledore, now worried, beckoned to a portrait of an owl.

"Go and find out what happened to the owl I sent to Mr. Malfoy, ASAP."

The acrylic owl hooted and flew off though many assorted paintings.

"ASAP? WHAT THE HELL?"

all of this crap was too much for Draco's pure blood brain, as smart as it is. Meanwhile, Harry was looking pretty smug about how he knew a hell of a lot more about the situation than Draco did. Thank god he lives with this muggle shit. It really helps.

"As fast as possible, Malfoy."

"Do what as fast as possible? I don't know what you're asking of me! Just answer my question!"

"no, no, Mr. Malfoy, its an abbreviation!"

"WHAT THE HELL IS AN ABBREVIATION?"

Harry had to laugh now. And he couldn't just stop at laughing, he had a laugh attack. Harry couldn't breathe, and caused splinters to fly as he whacked his head on the polished desk. Draco just looked so confused and pissed off (not a good mix), and he really wasn't understanding what was going on, and Harry REALLY wasn't helping.

Dumbledore, really truly trying to explain this muggle stuff (that he learned from and was relieved when the paint owl fluttered into a portrait of the sulking Salazar Slitherin. The owl talked to the snake on his shoulder, whom talked to Salazar, who talked to Dumbledore.

"Your stupid pigeons," he drawled, "was beat to Mr. Malfoy's window by a hawk owl and is now a pile of chop suey right now."

Dumbledore scowled. Its just like Lucuis to train his owls to be murderous.

Draco, face gone from confused and pissed to determined and pissed, was finally beginning to hear things he understood. Slamming a piece of parchment on Dumbledore's desk, he fumed,

"That's why I'm here, professor! My father just sent this letter. I cant be expelled! I need an explanation!"

Albus scanned it over and gave a sigh.

"dammit." He muttered, "I shouldn't have given Sirius that information. I knew he'd get rational… Lupin's supposed to keep him in check…"

Draco's and Harry's eyes shot open.

"Professor! You're not supposed to say his name al…"

"WHO? WHO GOT THAT INFORMATION?"

"Uh… Criterious. I said Criterious put it under my name!"

sweating through his lavender star robes, he got lucky that Draco's not THAT smart. He could see Harry was very serious now. So he decided this was a good time to be even more so himself.

"Look I'm very sorry, Mr. Malfoy, but what you too have done is too much. Some things can't be fixed! Madame Hooch, poor gal, saw more balls than she thought possible when she had to storm the boy's locker room to separate you too! All I can do is help you start your new life on a good foot."

Suddenly Harry's and Draco's wands apperiated in Dumbledore's hands and he snapped them in to with a little bit of magic. He could never have done it bare handed. Harry stood there dumbfounded and Draco's eyes began to twitch.

"There! That's a good start! Now I was going to send you both to an all boys academy, but there's some obvious downs to that. I was going to send you to the one where your cousin Dudley goes to, but it was just closed because one of the male teachers, Jackson or something, was molesting the boys. There's another reason I'll show…tell you later. Anyway, I'm going to send you to the well known public school, Stonewall High!"

Harry choked. Draco tried to think of what he ment by 'public'.

"Professor! S-Stonewall! Are you serious? Do you mean I'll be… in school with Dudley? Fuck that, LIVING with them! Cant…cant you send us to a school like…Lowell or something?"

"Um… well yes and no. I kinda slipped up there for a second… I mean, the new and improved Privet Stonewall High! It was redone after Smelting was closed so that it now has dorms for girls and boys. So you won't technically be living with the Durslys… you'll just… be in the same 24/7 school as Dudley that's all…"

"THAT'S ALL? THAT'S FUCKING ALL? OH MY GOD THIS IS INSA…"

"Wait a minute! A MUGGLE school?"

Harry stopped waving his arms around madly and snapped,

"of coarse, dumbass, what, did you think it was Durmstrang?"

even though Dumbledore had snapped their wands in two, he still felt as if in extreme danger…, he was defiantly playing with fire.

"There is a catch though…"

Harry and Draco stopped bitch slapping each other and looked at him apprehensively.

"Harry, you are much loved by the witches and wizards around the globe, so we don't have to much to worry about… but Draco…um…witches and wizards around the globe hate volimort… and your father kinda worked for him so… you aren't really safe. We're going to need to disguise you."

Draco relaxed. Sort of.

"Oh, so I need a mushtasha or something?"

"Um… 'something' like that… let me show you a part of your costume…"

and with a flick of his wand, Dumbledore muttered something under his breath… and nothing happened. Draco looked at him more confused than ever. Then, in a split second, he fell over face first, crumpling to the floor.

"AW FUCK! WHAT THE HELL?"

Dumbledore peered over his desk and Harry gave Draco a little kick in the side.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

struggling to sit up on the marble floor, Draco revealed… two VERY large heavyweights were planted to his chest, bursting through his ripping green bathrobe.

Harry blinked and realizing what he was staring at, whispered,

"B-b-breasts?"