Spoilers Warning: Unless you've already watched up to season 4, episode 9.
Disclaimer: One Tree Hill and it's characters belong to Mark Schwan.
Thanks everyone for reviewing! Nikki, what confused you? Hahaha.
Sort of a song fic, but with chapters! Hahaha. This chapter is Dear Tragedy by Bayside.
- - -
I'm not waking up so I'll never have
to find out what you did. Each day
it's harder to pretend that your eyes
aren't lying as much as your mouth did.
Present:
She remembered when they had been in love. Though they were both too foolish to admit it, and in the process lost something special. But as the months passed, they're relationship grew to be more than friends with benefits.
Now she could only sit here and try to drown herself in her mundane life. She remembered when they lied to each other...
Five years ago:
That moment felt like it was in slow motion. She saw his face soften, his eyebrows draw apart and his body grow limp.Then his eyes grew hard again and he said to her, "no." He was lying, she knew. But somehow, she didn't care or didn't want to care.
Smiling, she tiptoed and wrapped her arms around him, "you don't know how relieved I am to hear that" she said, lying and ignoring the painful ache in her heart.
- - -
I'd grab your head by your hair and hack
it off and put it on display on your front
yard on a stick that's decorated with a
little pink bow that says, "her friends and
family should have taught her more about love."
Jake lied to Brooke. He knew he loved her, but he didn't admit it to himself nor her. Partly because, he still had feelings for Peyton. He knew that he and Peyton had something and he was unsure about where they stood now. He didn't want to blow something on a 'relationship' based on hookups and sex in closests. No matter how fun Brooke made it.
His thoughts were interrupted by a voice, "hey." He saw her, his angel. "I heard you were back in town." He managed to find his voice and forced a smile, "hi Peyton." She looked hurt, "how long have you been back? Why didn't you tell me?"
"A couple of months. If you had spent anytime away from Lucas and with the rest of the world, you'd have noticed." He hated how bitter he sounded. He had told her to go back to Lucas, that was what he wanted. So why did he sound so bitter?
Peyton looked so pretty, standing infront of him, her big blue eyes full of light tears and her cheeks flushed from the cold night air. She stepped towards him and gave him a hug, "how's Jenny?" She asked, pressing her cheek against his chest. He breathed in the scent of her hair, God, how he missed her.
"She's fine." He heard himself answer. He didn't know what happened or how it happened, but suddenly, they were kissing. Oddly, he found himself thinking of Brooke and how this would make her feel, but he pushed Brooke to the back of his mind and continued kissing Peyton. Peyton knew what love was, Brooke was so unsure and didn't know what she wanted. He wanted to help her, but he just couldn't be that guy for her.
Brooke had been too neglected by love her whole life. None from her family, not really any from her friends and as far as boyfriends went... That was pretty much a buzz kill too. He pitied her, he really did. But it wasn't pity that made him somehow wish that Peyton was Brooke at this moment.
- - -
Dear tragedy, I never had anybody.
But being alone wasn't half as bad
as being obsessed with a breath taker,
a smile faker.
Eighteen year old Brooke Davis scribbled those words into her diary. In the past, she had never been into all the emo mauldin lyrics, but ever since Peyton and her stopped being close friends, she'd developed a taste for it. It was almost as if a part of her were trying to replace her best friend and be angsty enough to do just that.
The lyrics were like some kind of cruel joke. Brooke had grown up without a caring family, and her only close companion had been imaginary friends, stuffed toys and Peyton. They had been friends ever since 2nd grade when Peyton had transferred in. Brooke had been popular as always, but none of her friends really knew her. Peyton had been so happy then, when her mother was alive. She was also the best artist in class but what had drawn Brooke to Peyton was her quiet loneliness.
They had always balanced each other out. Happy and sad, yin and yang. But now, she didn't have anyone who cared for her. She was obsessed with Lucas, she spent nearly every moment thinking about him, though now he was so lost in Peyton-land and couldn't be bothered with Nathan and Haley, his brother and best friend, much less Brooke.
Brooke had been left behind, and it sucked. Probably the only one who cared about her, her only best friend now was Jake. They did stuff that friends did, and friends with benefits. He was a great guy, and she hated using him to try and get over Lucas. If that's what they were doing. Brooke didn't know anymore.
But these years alone have eaten me alive.
Recounting the pages in a book that I'd torn
out ashamed that one day, you'd look. Afraid
that once you did you'd really know how it
felt to be a sucker on a string that you dragged
around wherever you go.
There was a knock on her door, "hey Brooke." Jake was standing there, she smiled at him, distracting herself from her loneliness, "hey Jake. What's up?" She asked. Jake told her what had happened and her mouth dropped open. 'How could Peyton do that to Lucas?' She wondered.
Then again, it wasn't as if Peyton was a great friend as far as loyalty went. She was great, nice, beautiful, funny and smart but loyal? Not so much. Brooke knew though that she was disturbed because she felt something for Jake. But she hid it, she hid her heart so that she wouldn't get hurt as she had so many times.
And although I recognize that we're attached at
the lips, you're the one in charge and that the
captain's gotta sink the ship.
When Jake kissed her, he knew something was wrong. He didn't know why they were still hooking up after he just kissed Peyton, but he didn't want to stop. Brooke was like an addiction that he couldn't kick. Maybe at the back of his mind he knew that they might have to end things soon, maybe he realized that Brooke would be the one to stop it just as she started it.
- - -
Breath taker, smile faker, how could I have let
you in my life? You're a breath taker, a smile faker,
these years alone have eaten me alive.
All her life, Brooke had been alone too much for her own good. Jake had Jenny, his parents, friends, he never needed more. But it seemed that Brooke, she just needed someone to be there for her. And Jake felt his heart go out to her, for he didn't know how she had the strength to go through all this. Those years had taken a toll on her, he knew.
And he wanted to be there for her as her friend to help her get through everything, to not allow her to become more broken than she already was.
- - -
A/N: That's done! Hahaha. So keep reviewing! Narinenia at yahoo . Com (: