"I hate you. I hate you so much Potter. I'm a fucking bitch because of you. A girl, Potter, a girl. You just had to be the loved one. The golden boy everyone loves. Everyone hates me. They hate me so much, I have to be a fucking girl. This is your entire fault Potter. All your fucking fault…"Draco had been rambling on like this for hours now. Fully transformed by a tricky spell, he had very long straight blonde hair and thick long lashes than before. His new thick juicy lips pouted and he had crossed his thin shaved womanish legs as if to cover up the fact he has no balls anymore. A slim waist graced his torso and he still had a huge chest, even though Dumbledore was kind enough to bring it down to a size double D.
"…this sucks Potter, and it's all your fault. What am I supposed to fuck there? Muggles? No, I can't even do that. You know why? BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY BALLS! Whose fault is that? YOURS, YOU BASTARD! So what are…" Harry, sitting on the opposite side of the train compartment, just toned out Draco's threatening words and just smiled while nodding his head. what was he agreeing to? He really want to point and laugh and say something like;
"YOU ARE SOOO SCREWED!" or "YOU ARE SO GOING TO BE SCREWED INSTEAD! HAHA!" but #1, both sounded kind of lame (but that DOES piss Malfoy off…) and #2, he didn't want to chance losing 'those'. Even if Malfoy was his worst enemy, he could just take a leaf out of Malfoy's book and not really give a damn about who's they are.
"…Come on Harry! The guys will be TOUCHING me! Do you know how wrong that is? How sick that is? Have you even given thought…"
Well, Harry heard that. There goes his chance. Maybe he could 'accidentally' fall out of my seat because of 'dementors' and 'accidentally' end up in his bosom… whoa! I can't call him 'him' anymore. Our life at Hogwarts really IS over!
"You know what I'm going through? I…"
"Draco, wait!" shocked that Harry had interrupted his mourning period, he sat there, mouth gaping.
"Draco, this means no more Hogwarts! No more house elves, room of requirement, ghosts, baskaliks, secret rooms, flying books, dragons, hippogriffs, skrewts, hogsmeade, platform 9 and three quarters, Diagon ally, filch, three broomsticks, quidditch, potions, divination, great halls, 3 man sized pumpkins, wizards duel, womping willows, forbidden forests, school uniforms, goblets, house points, four poster beds, owls, magic of any sort, goblin history, transforming, charms, mad eye moody, voldimort, Azkaban, defense against the dark arts, Dumbledore, Cornelius fudge, fizzing wizzbees, porketys, world championships, durmstrang, unicorns, frieze, Bane, newts eyes, crystal orbs, OWLS, NEWTS, apperiating, monster book of monsters, Snape, nellvile, dancing skeletons, Ron, Hermione, pure bloods, snitches, Goyal, Crabbe, Mourning Myrtle, peeves, knights of armor, Mrs. Norris, Butterbeer, blood flavored lollipops, love struck half giants, valentine gnomes, Ginny, Christmas sweaters, invisibility cloaks, time turners, Sirius black, Avery Knott, rats like scabbers, wizards chess, mirror of erised, turbans of death, quills, galleons, dragons, howlers, house colors, towers, Yule balls, oh for fucks sake, NO QUIDDITCH!" Draco still sat there, stupefied. Then, as it all sunk in, he… I mean she, grasped Harry by the shoulders in shock and shook him roughly.
"OMG NO PUREBLOODS!"
"Wha… THAT'S ALL?"
"Wait a minute… turbans of death? Where was i?"
"THINK OF THE QUIDDITCH, MALFOY!"
"THINK OF THE PUREBLOODS, POTTER!"
"You are so…"
"Oh shit, Harry, do you know how many virgins I left virgins? Can you even begin to consider the emotions I'm going through right now?" IM A FUCKING GIRL BECAUSE OF YOU!"
"You know… I can't call you Draco now. Not like I ever did before, but it's a guy's name." Draco began to shake Harry again and screamed,
"OMG, YOUR RIGHT POTTER! GIMMIE A NAME!" luckily Harry was in a good mood for shaking because when Draco shook him, 'Draco' shook too.
"Well… I donno… maybe… Traco? Mraco? Craco? Btaco? Taco?..."
"YOURNOTHELPING!"
"Make one up yourself then!"
"FINE! I will! I'll be… Marloo."
"That's a funny…"
"SHUT UP!"
"What about Marla?"
"What if I just shove your ideas up your ass?"
"Or if you just stick to Draca?"
"Um…"
"Or Drama? Or Madra? Take your pick…"
"DRAMA? YOU BASTARD! ARE YOU CALLING ME A DRAMA QUEEN?"
"Uh…no?"
"STOP STARING AT MY CHEST YOU JACKASS! IS THAT ALL YOU THINK ABOUT? DO YOU NOT CARE HOW I FEEL RIGHT NOW?"
Harry sighed and put on a comforting face.
"No. your just stressed, Draco. Come here. You need a hug."
"What the fuck, Potter, your not serious, are you?"
"I'm serious. You'll feel much better when embraced."
"…"
Draco apprehensively moved to the seat beside Harry and let Harry wrap his arms around his slim frame.
"This better as Hell make me feel better, Potter."
Harry just smiled as Draco pressed up against his chest.
"Oh," he breathed, smirking, "it will…" /if not just me…/