Spoilers Warning: Unless you've already watched up to season 4, episode 9.
Disclaimer: One Tree Hill and it's characters belong to Mark Schwan.
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Sort of a song fic, but with chapters! Hahaha. This chapter is Tiny Vessels by Death Cab For Cutie.
- - -
Five years ago:
This is the moment that you know,
that you told her that you loved her
but you don't.
"I love you Peyton." Lucas smiled and ran his fingers through her blond curls. She smiled, "I love you too Luke." Looking at her smile, Lucas couldn't bear to break her heart. Peyton needed him and he needed to be there for her. She didn't have anybody else, he couldn't let her down.
The night before, they'd fallen asleep in his bed, they hadn't had sex yet, mostly because he didn't want to. He'd told her that he wanted to wait, that he wanted it to be special, but truthfully it was because he didn't want to have sex with a girl that he had not yet given his whole heart too.
They'd slept, her hands holding onto parts of his shirt and Lucas found that he couldn't fall asleep, he could barely move with her gripping onto him so tightly. Yet, he didn't want to disturb her, so he had just lain there next to her and watched her sleep, her grip on him never relaxing.
- - -
You touch her skin and you think,
that she is beautiful but she don't
mean a thing to me. Yeah, she is
beautiful but she don't mean a thing
to me.
The two of them kissed hungrily, as if they were starving for each other. Though of course, they weren't. Jake wanted Peyton and Brooke wanted Lucas, but still, here they were hooking up. Brooke was beautiful, so beautiful, but Jake was sure he only wanted Peyton, for himself and for Jenny.
- - -
I spent two weeks in Silverlake the
California sun cascading down my
face. There was a girl with light brown
streaks and she was beautiful but she
didn't mean a thing to me. Yeah, she was
beautiful but she didn't mean a thing to me.
Lucas took a deep breath, this wasn't going to be easy... "Look Peyton, Brooke, she was a big part of my life and it won't be easy for me to forget her, but I'm gonna try." Peyton smiled at him, so innocent, so trusting, "I know, Luke." She nodded, "we're meant to be." The two of them kissed.
"She doesn't mean anything to me anymore." He lied.
- - -
Wanted to believe in all the words I was
speaking as we moved together in the dark
and all the friends I was telling and all the
playful misspellings.
"Oh Lucas," Brooke moaned. Jake pulled away, "what?" It was only when she started laughing that he realized she'd been kidding. Brooke pulled him closer to her and kissed him again, her tongue seeking out his. 'He doesn't mean a thing to me' she told herself, ignoring how fast her heart was beating.
And every bite I gave you left a mark.
Tiny vessels oozed in your neck and
formed bruises that you said you didn't
want to fade. But they did and so did
I that day.
She left her marks on him, all over him. Bites that were full of love and lust, something to say, "I own this boy and he is mine." She treasured what they shared more than he would ever know. But this wasn't being in a relationship, hooking up with Jake was like eating in front of the fridge, it didn't count. Zero calories.
- - -
All i see are dark grey clouds
In the distance moving closer with every hour
So when you ask "was something wrong?"
That i think "you're damn right there is
but we can't talk about it now.
No, we can't talk about it now."
She saw the marks on Jake's neck and she felt a pain that she had never known before, knowing that he had someone else. It shouldn't bother her, afterall, she had Lucas. Lucas loved her, she wanted to be with Lucas, more than anything. "Peyton, is something wrong?" He asked. She shook herself out of her confusion, "nah, I'm just happy that you and Jenny are doing great." But unwittingly, her eyes kept going back to his neck, again and again.
- - -
"Lucas," she whispered dryly, "make love to me." How could he have said no? All he could do was pretend that she was Brooke, for one night. Pretend that he loved her as more than a friend, just for tonight.
So one last touch and then you'll go
And we'll pretend that it meant something so much more
But it was vile, and it was cheap
And you are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me
He kissed her one last time and told her he loved her as he pulled on his shirt to leave. Yet, he didn't feel like a man in love should. He felt like a cheater, he felt like crap. He should never have done what he just did. Lucas loved Brooke, but Peyton needed him. 'I have to be there for her.' He reminded himself.
You are beautiful but you don't mean a thing to me.
- - -
A/N: That's done! Hahaha. So keep reviewing! Narinenia at yahoo . Com (: