Chapter 11: Logan

Logan was trapped in a haze of pain and morphine, unable to understand the voices around him or grasp the comforting hand that clung to his. The black, numbing darkness was his only solace, his only escape, and so he allowed himself to be carried away into oblivion.

He dreamed about his old home in L.A. He could hear sounds emanating from the kitchen, and felt compelled to follow the heady aroma of warm vanilla and sugar wafting throughout the house. Logan walked quickly along the long hallway and down the stairs, rushing around the corner into the kitchen, where his mother had just taken a batch of cookies out of the oven.

Quietly, he watched as she expertly spooned dollops of dough onto the baking sheet. Her soft, brown curls were held away from her face by a tortoise shell headband and she was humming. She looked … happy, the way Logan remembered her as a young boy. Back before things got bad. Back when she still baked cookies.

"Mom?" he asked tentatively, stepping into the cozy kitchen.

Lynn looked up and the wide smile she gave her son lit her face.

"It's about time you got up, sleepyhead. I was starting to think you were going to snooze away the entire day," she said affectionately. Lynn paused and put down the spoon, walking out from behind the counter to cup Logan's face in her floured hands. She peered into his eyes and asked, "Are you okay, sweetheart?"

"Mom … I can't believe you're here," he said in a choked whisper. "I've missed you so much."

"Well, of course I'm here. Where else would I be?" Lynn answered, drawing his head down to her shoulder. She cradled him in her arms as if he were still a little boy and Logan wrapped his arms around his mother's slender form, clinging to her in a way he hadn't been able to in years. "Everything will be okay," she whispered, and somehow he believed her.

After several, long minutes, Lynn pulled away gently. "Son, don't you have to get going? Veronica is waiting for you."

"…What?"

"You know – Veronica? The girl you're head over heels in love with. Take a little advice from your mother, who used to be young once upon a time: It's never a good idea to keep a girl waiting."

Confused, Logan shook his head. "Veronica isn't … What if I don't want to go? Can't I just stay here with you?"

"Aw, words to warm a mother's heart," Lynn said, tweaking his chin. "But you really should go. You're young. You should be out in the world having fun, being happy. Promise me you'll be happy, Logan."

"I – I promise," Logan gulped, blinking away tears he hadn't realized were there.

A knock at the door startled him, but Lynn seemed to expect it and, just like before, Logan was helpless, unable to resist following the sound. In a daze, he slowly began to walk to the front of the house, but turned when he heard his mother softly calling his name.

"I love you, Logan."

A peaceful calm settled in his heart as Logan smiled and waved at his mother. "I love you too, Mom."

Suddenly standing at the door, he grasped the brass knob and twisted it. Stepping out, Logan could feel the fine, white sand of the beach between his bare toes. The sun was hot on his face and shoulders, warming his cold skin. He scanned the empty shore, jogging to the water's edge, where he sat, eyes closed as he listened to the pounding surf. He lay back against the burning sand, feeling tranquil and happy, content to revel in the beauty of the Pacific Ocean.

"Remember me, lover?" A teasing voice he hadn't heard in years jolted Logan from his reverie and he opened his eyes, turning his head towards the sound.

Wearing only a barely there, bright pink bikini, Lilly lay basking in the sun beside him, propped on her elbows, head thrown back, a devilish smile on her face. "Miss me?" she asked, seductively.

"Always."

"Logan Echolls! You'd better not let Veronica hear you say that." Lilly laughed, and the peals of glee rang deliciously in his ears. "By the way, she says to get your scrawny ass back to Neptune, ASAP. Seems you left a mess and God knows our favorite little detective doesn't like to play the maid. She's gotten feisty since I left, hasn't she?"

Abruptly, she stood, striding into the sparkling water, her hips swinging. Logan felt dizzy as he followed her into the surf, overwhelmed by memories of being with Lilly, frolicking on the beach, in his pool and in her bed.

He was wondering if some sort of time warp had spun him back to the ninth grade, when Lilly turned and wagged a finger at him.

"You can't come with me, Logan. You have to go back. It's not over, yet. Veronica said so and besides … she needs you." Lilly's lips curved in a small, sad smile. "She loves you, Logan. And unlike me, she can love you the way you deserve to be loved."

"No, you're wrong. Veronica doesn't want me," Logan said, shaking his head. For once, the knowledge didn't hurt. "I don't want to go back."

He continued walking towards the sun, going deeper into the cool water, now lapping at his thighs. But he faltered, when he heard a familiar voice from the shore, desperately calling his name. Peering at the stretch of beach, Logan couldn't quite make out the small form in the distance, but he could hear her voice in his head, pleading with him not to leave.

And suddenly, he knew what he had to do.

Logan looked back at Lilly. Radiant in the sunlight streaming behind her, Lilly threw him a saucy grin. "I told you so," she said knowingly. "You'd better hurry. Veronica is waiting for you."

Nodding, he waved goodbye to the first girl he ever loved, before turning away from the blinding sun. With joy in his heart, Logan walked slowly back to shore.