The lights were low in the infirmary as Sam approached the bed of her friend. It had been 4 days, and Daniel showed no signs of emerging from the deep coma he had fallen into.
She could hear the heart monitor as she drew nearer; it beat in a steady reassuring rhythm. It had stopped once during her first watch. Those had been the longest minutes of her life, listening to the flat monotonous tone as Fraiser and the SGC medical staff frantically worked to bring him back.
They had done their part. Now she had to do hers and make sure that Daniel remembered he had people who loved him waiting for his return.
She smiled as she caught a glimpse of the colonel. Long legs stretched out, he leaned back in the hard plastic chair, the paper resting on his chest. She tiptoed over to take a peek – it was no surprise to find it open at the sports scores.
She put a hand on his shoulder shaking it gently.
The colonel snapped awake instantly. "What?" He took in the bed and the monitors at a glance. Assessing that everything was fine, he began to fold his newspaper casually.
"Time to change watch, sir. Why don't you go sleep in a bed?"
"I was not asleep, Captain," he informed her peevishly, "I was just resting my eyes."
"Whatever you say, sir." It reassured her a little. The first days of their vigil had required constant monitoring. Daniel's condition must be improving if the colonel felt he could 'rest' his eyes. "Any changes?"
He paused in smoothing the paper, "None that you could tell, Carter."
"But?" She knew her commanding officer well enough to see there was something he wasn't telling.
He was quiet a moment, searching for the words. "His breathing changed in the night. It was like it was easier." He shrugged, "there weren't any changes on the machines, so it was probably just my imagination."
"Maybe." She waited, but he didn't show any signs of vacating the chair at Daniel's side. "The General said for you to consider yourself ordered to rest, sir. He said 'don't make me come down there, Jack'."
He seemed to be considering her words and finally heaved himself out of the chair. "Call me for… whatever… you know," he told her heavily.
"Of course, sir." She watched him as he disappeared into the darkness, his steps slow and hesitant. He turned back once to look at them, waving despondently. She returned the wave with a small salute.
When he was out of sight, she moved to Daniel's side studying the monitors and the readouts. They showed no appreciable change in their friend. She listened as he breathed, trying to tune out the beeps and the hums. She didn't really hear anything different, but she respected the colonel. If he thought there had been an improvement, then it was enough for her.
She sat, putting her hand on Daniel's. She thought it was important to keep touching him; like a kind of anchor, giving him something solid to hang onto.
"Come on, Daniel, this is getting old. I really need for you to wake up here." She couldn't imagine her life without him in it.
He was one of the few people who challenged her. He made her look at the world in a new way. When she was ready to give up on a problem, he would turn it on its end. It was maddening sometimes, and exhilarating, when they were trying to solve a problem and he wouldn't let her quit until they had found a solution.
She pushed his bangs back sighing when the only answer was the steady beep of the heart monitor and the rise and fall of the ventilator that breathed for her friend. It would have to be enough.
She pulled out the book she had brought with her and settled into the chair so recently vacated by the Colonel. She wriggled a little trying to find a more comfortable position. Opening the book, she began to read.
--SG-1--
Normally when he kel-no-reemed Teal'c would sit on a small woven rug brought back from his home on Chulak, it was all that he had of the broken pieces of his life there. But on this night he sat on the hard, cold floor, next to the bed of his friend. Tonight he needed the discomfort of the chill floor to keep him from falling too far into his meditations. He needed to remain vigilant as he sat at his friend's side.
The doctor had removed Daniel Jackson from the ventilator that morning. It was a good thing that the doctor had judged his condition improved enough to be removed from the machine, but it was now important that his breathing be monitored to make sure that it remained even and regular. While it was true that there were machines that performed that task, Teal'c did not altogether trust them. Technology had failed before. It was his duty to ensure his friend's continued well-being, and he did not take that duty lightly.
Around him the candles flickered casting shadows across Daniel Jackson's bed and onto the wall. He drew in a breath and let it out slowly, seeking that quiet place that would afford him the rest his body needed. One breath and then another, in and out; but it eluded him, remaining ever just out of reach. His thoughts were chaotic, refusing to be calmed. At last he gave up the effort and followed the thoughts where ever they would lead him.
Teal'c had caused so much pain in Daniel Jackson's life. As First Prime of Apophis it had been he who led the attack on Abydos where Daniel Jackson's wife, Sha're, and her brother, Skaara, were taken captive. They were eventually forced to become hosts themselves for the Goa'uld. Again, it was Teal'c who had chosen Sha're personally to be the host for Apophis' mate, Ammonet. He had watched as the loathsome creature entered her body and made it her own.
He hated his god, and he hated himself for what he was forced to do in Apophis' name. But he saw no way out for himself or his people. It had taken O'Neill and the people of the Tau'ri to convince him that there was another way. Teal'c had chosen to give up his own life to save theirs. In them he had seen hope that someday perhaps all of the Jaffa could be freed of their servitude to the Goa'uld. It had been hard, he gave up his life and his family, putting them at risk as well. But there were some ideals that one had to be willing to risk everything for.
Now he took it as a matter of honor that he should protect Daniel Jackson, keep him from further harm. This time he had failed. Again and again, in his mind's eye he saw the explosion that had shattered his friend. He was haunted with the thought that there should have been some way to have prevented Daniel Jackson's injuries.
Teal'c searched his memory seeking something he could have done, something he should have seen that might have warned him sooner of the danger. Keeping part of his attention focused on the beeps and the hums of the machinery, on the steady rise and fall of his friend's chest; Teal'c remembered.
He had seen no sign of inhabitants as they stepped through the gate, just as the MALP's report indicated. His senses registered the bird song, the scent of flowers in the air; he also noted the close presence of the DHD on the platform with the gate. It sat just out of range of an opening wormhole. The gate itself stood in an open glade, visible for many miles in all directions. It was a good strategic position.
It seemed so innocent, so safe and inviting. Teal'c, more than even O'Neill, knew how deceptive such things could be. He had been the First Prime of Apophis. He had set enough ambushes to recognize one when he saw it.
He called out his warning just as Daniel Jackson had stepped off the steps onto the grassy meadow. The young scholar looked back over his shoulder at Teal'c. The Jaffa had seen the look of surprise and then the pain when the ground below his feet erupted, throwing Daniel Jackson's body backwards into the arms of his friends.
There was nothing he could have done, he knew that. And still he searched his memory for some sign he should have seen sooner, some warning he should have noted quicker. It was futile; nothing could change what had happened. But he needed to be prepared, so that nothing like it could ever happen again.
And always he listened for any difference in the sound of Daniel Jackson's breathing, alert to any movement he might make, any indication that his friend was still in his body somewhere just waiting to join them again.
Choose, he had to choose.
Daniel found himself in a place that had neither form or substance. He just was. He could feel the pull of his body, but it was filled with pain and he wasn't sure he wanted to go back there.
It had been so nice to sit with his mother, to see her smile, feel her hand on his face. It had been like a dream and the memory was slipping away even as he tried to recapture it. He was tired, bone weary. It would be so easy to just let go and drift away into the grey and waiting void; to choose to move on, he could do that.
But every time he thought of turning away, of giving up his hold on life, he heard voices, familiar voices, whispering his name. He could feel a hand firmly clasped to his, holding him to life. Curious, he concentrated, trying to hear what the voices were saying to him.
"For crying out loud, Daniel."
Jack, it was Jack calling to him.
"What are you doing lying in that bed? If you didn't want to go to the hockey game you should have just said so."
But he did, Daniel wanted to go to the hockey game, he'd been looking forward to it. He didn't understand the game, but he did enjoy his time with Jack, the friendship they shared.
He tried to whisper it to him, but it was too hard, the pain was too much. 'Don't go away, Jack,' he tried to say, 'hold on to me.'
Even though he never said the words, Jack didn't leave. Jack stayed, holding on to him.
If Jack was gone, Sam was there, "Hey, Daniel," she said. He could feel her hand on his forehead, cool and soothing. "I need you here. Come back to us." She sounded so forlorn and alone.
As much as he wanted to go, he couldn't leave Sam alone. They shared a bond he'd never had with anyone else, not even Sha're. She was the sister he'd never had and always longed for, someone who shared his passion and love for learning.
Sometimes he could feel Teal'c there sitting beside him. The alien warrior's presence was so powerful that he didn't have to touch Daniel for him to know he was there.
They were the link that Daniel used to hold onto to life, his life line that he clutched desperately as he tried to find his way back.
Choose, he had to choose…
Jack had spent six days sitting, watching the slow rise and fall of Daniel's chest. He watched for some sign or movement that their friend was still with them. It had been six days of hell imagining what life would be like if Daniel died.
Janet had assured the team that it was all right that Daniel didn't wake. His body had endured so much trauma that what he really needed most was to rest and heal. Still, Jack wished he would just lift an eyelid, twitch a finger, quirk an eyebrow. Something. Anything to let his friends know that he was still in there somewhere. Reading the sports page out loud, he nearly missed the low, almost inaudible sound.
"…Choose?"
The word was croaked out, more of a moan than an actual word. But to Jack it sounded like sweet music.
"I choose…"
"Hey, buddy. What do you choose?" Reaching over, he pushed the call button to alert Janet of the change in Daniel's condition. "Stay with me." This was the moment he had been waiting for. Jack thanked whatever god had granted him this favor; that he was the one to see those lashes flutter and watch Daniel's eyes open.
He picked up the cloth sitting in a bowl of clean of water next to the bed. He ran it over his friend's mouth, knowing that his lips must be cracked and dry after so many days of disuse. He squeezed it a little so that some of the moisture trickled down into the parched mouth. Daniel licked his lips and his eyes closed.
"Hey, Daniel. Stay with me for a second. Janet's going to be really ticked if she misses seeing those baby blues of yours." Daniel opened his eyes again squinting up at Jack. There was confusion mixed with the pain he saw there. "What is it, Daniel?"
Janet entered, her heels clicking on the floor announcing her arrival. She didn't interrupt, she just moved to Daniel's other side to monitor her patient's condition.
He tried to mumble something and Jack shook his head. Picking up a cup, Jack held the straw so Daniel could drink. After a small sip he tried again. "Bus?"
Jack looked at Janet and shrugged. Who knew what had been going on in his head the last six days? "I'm sorry, buddy, I don't understand."
Another small sip and then another try, "... bus hit me?"
Comprehension dawned for Jack and he smiled, "It wasn't a bus, Daniel, but close."
"Will I live?" He looked up at them anxiously. Jack quirked an eyebrow to the doctor, this was her question to answer.
She smiled down at him in her best professional manner, "You might not think so right now, Dr. Jackson, but absolutely."
Some of the anxiety left his eyes, and he was already beginning to drift back into restful sleep. He struggled to stay awake for one more question, "...stay with me?"
"Wouldn't be anywhere else, buddy, they couldn't drag me away."
With that reassurance Daniel closed his eyes. His head rolled over onto the pillow. The lines on his face smoothed for the first time since the nightmare had begun.
Jack looked at the doctor. "Did you lie to him?"
"No, Colonel, I didn't. He has a long way to go, some more surgery to get through, but he'll make it. Thank you, sir."
He reached out, covering her hand where she was taking Daniel's pulse. "No, thank you, Doc." He always admired and respected her; no matter the hell he gave her when he was her patient. But the past six days he had seen her strength and courage, as he never had before. She seemed to literally will Daniel to live and Daniel had responded. He didn't know if she would ever know the depths of his gratitude.
She put her other hand on his and squeezed it gently. "You're welcome." There was a little silence between them with his hand between hers. "You know you might consider getting a little rest yourself. You're looking nearly as bad as Daniel. I would hate to have to confine you to a bed."
He started to call her bluff and then reconsidered. He'd never really known the doctor to bluff before. "I'll take some time now, Doc. I just want to sit a minute and make sure he doesn't wake up again right away."
"Trust me, it's not going to happen. Go get something to eat and some rest." She made a few notes on her patient's chart and left Jack there alone with his friend.
Sam came in to find him just sitting there. "Hey, Janet said he woke up."
"For all of about 2 minutes"
"Still. It's a good sign."
"Yeah. Still." They sat in companionable silence for a moment, and then he stood wearily. "It's your watch, Carter, I'm going to get something to eat, then sleep for about two days myself."
"I'll let you know if anything changes." Watching him leave, she allowed herself to hope. This was the first time in six days that Jack O'Neill had voluntarily left Daniel's side.
To be continued...