A/N: I've decided this is going to be an ACTION fic! And the pairing is going to be a whole mess of one-sided-ness. Don't ask me who's gonna get the girl, cause I don't know.

"OK," Zelos said, safe once again in the comforts of his own plush mansion. He collapsed next to Sheena on the couch, and for once she didn't mind when he put an arm around her and rested his head against her shoulder. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he made himself comfortable and closed his eyes, trying to relax. "I beeped them on the Rheiards and told them to come here ASAP."

Sheena sat up, looking down at him. She looked horrified. "Did you say it was an emergency?"

"Umm... maybe.." Sheena became suddenly aware of his presence and scooted away, letting his head drop to the cough pillows. He moaned. "Aw, Sheena! What's the matter?"

"The last time you told us to come over because it was an emergency, you wanted us to join some stupid party you had! They're not gonna get here for a week!"

Zelos lifted his head to try and give her the most innocent expression he could manage, but found that particular attack wasn't going to work this time so he plopped his head into the cushions again. "It was an emergency," he muttered. "I was a few guests short. What was I going to do with the excess food?"

"I don't know, give it to the poor?"

"Hey, I donate hundreds each year to the poor." Zelos grinned against the cushions. "It's how I get my tax breaks."

"You're terrible." Sheena got up from the couch, pacing around the mansion living room, looking at the pictures on the wall. She paused before a portrait of Zelos's mother, quickly glancing over her shoulder at the Chosen. He seemed not to notice. Sheena looked up at the picture again, letting it remind her of the real Zelos, the one behind the parties and the philandering. Visiting this place always seemed to do that, especially when she considered the death of his mother. Finally calming down a little, but not wanting to show it, she continued to pace, letting him watch her out of the corner of his eye as he pretended to sleep on the couch.

"So where's your new boy toy?" he asked after perhaps fifteen minutes of the same routine.

"I locked him up in my room," Sheena said, absent-mindedly, "And told him not to escape." She blinked, flushing slightly. "I mean, the guest room. I'm the only guests you get though, so I guess it's my room."

"Wow," Zelos said, deciding not to comment on the slip. "That's still impressive. You've had him for a few days now and I'm still a little confused at this. Is that bracelet magical? Does he have to do whatever you say?" He shot up, his bright blue eyes excited. "Can I borrow him?"

"Zelos!" Sheena snapped, turning to face him, all previous thoughts of being nicer to him vanished in a moment. "He's not a toy! He's not a pet, or a slave, or anything like that! He's a human being, and he has feelings! It must be more than he could take just to know he's in this position." She lowered her voice, nervously looking up at the stairs as if expecting him to be there at that moment, watching her silently. He hadn't spoken a word since the trial. Rubbing her arm, she continued, "If I hadn't told him not to, I think he would have killed himself by now."

"Meh. This whole thing is cruel. Why not let him off himself? It's the most decent thing you could do.. besides letting him go free. And the moment you did that he'd probably try to kill you for being so pitiful towards him." Sheena glared at Zelos. "Am I right? You ninjas are all the same. So complicated!"

"Why don't you-" Sheena began, angrily, but a maid interrupted them.

"Your lunch is ready, Sir," she said, her blond curls bobbing about her face as she curtsied to him. Lifting up the lid on the tray she had placed before them, she said, "Today is clam chowder with bread baked fresh from your favorite bakery, Sir."

At first, Zelos gave her an odd look. But the moment was soon gone. "Goodie!" Zelos chirped, ignoring Sheena completely as he grabbed the food. A little too eagerly, it would seem, because he cut himself while slicing the bread. He hissed, the knife clattering to the floor as he stuck the bleeding finger into his mouth, jumping upright and clenching his eyes shut against the pain. "Agh!"

Sheena slapped her hand to her forehead, moving to help him. "You Idiot Chosen," she muttered, grabbing his hand. "Here let me- I said let me see it, Zelos!"

"No!" he said, childishly, wrenching his hand away from her. "Maid, could you please fetch a bandage for my cut? Oh, and someone had better feed my guest, he'll be eating in the guest room today."

"Oh yes, your guest," Sheena mimicked when the maid had left. "Am I a brick wall, then?"

"Well if you want food, I'll gladly tell one of the maids," he said. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Never mind. It's just the principle, I guess." Why was she getting all riled up? True, Zelos was acting brattier than he had in a while, but.. "I think I'm gonna beep up Lloyd and Raine again," she said, thinking of the first thing that came to mind. "I'll tell them it's not an emergency but.. well, it would be nice if I had some second opinions on what to do now."

"I'm telling you, give him to me. I'll treat him good."

"Whatever, Zelos," Sheena said, walking to the door and opening it. For a moment she half-expect him to say something, to whine about her leaving him alone, but he said nothing. Why did it bother her? It wasn't as if she wanted to stay. But she hesitated anyway.

"Weren't you leaving?" Zelos asked. She walked outside and slammed the door behind her without saying a word, and he chuckled, reclining on the couch again. The maid returned soon with a box labeled "Band-Aids" in big red letters, opening up a package and humming sweetly.

"Here you are, Sir," she said.

"Could you please apply it for me, Maid?" Zelos sat up, holding out his hand. Blood welled up from the gash, dripping onto the carpet. The maid nodded, taking out the bandage and wrapping the cut up neatly to avoid infection. She beamed at the pleased look on his face and at a job well done.

"Is that all you'll be needing?" she asked him, packing up the bandages. To her surprise, he stopped her by grabbing her around the wrist.

"Is that all you'll be needing…. What?" he asked, still smiling as amiably as he could manage.

"Is that…" The maid seemed a little taken aback, for once losing her cheerful composure. "Is that all you'll be needing.. Uh… Sir."

Zelos smile turned odd, baby blue eyes glittering. "Uh-huh," he said. This seemed to make her feel much more at ease, but he didn't let her wrist go. Instead, he only tightened his grip. "Sit," he said. She sat, and only then did he let her hand go. Reclining comfortably, he smiled at the young woman. "Are you a new maid?" he asked her.

"Uh, yes Sir." She nervously brought her hands to her lap, swallowing. "Is there a problem, Sir?"

"Hmm? No." Zelos shrugged. "I just like to give new maids a warm welcome. Sebastian hired you, did he?"

"Yes he did, Sir."

"Gave you all the basic rules? Showed you the ropes?"

"Uh. Yes?"

"Yes, what?" Zelos pressed, leaning forward.

"Yes, Sir."

Zelos surprised her by starting to laugh, a puzzled expression on his face. "Tell me, maid," he continued, "What was your former occupation before my servant saw fit to hire you?"

"I was a teacher," the maid said, scooting away from Zelos on the spacious couch. "Sir."

"Why did you quit? If you don't mind my asking, of course." Zelos grabbed the slice of bread and a new knife, carelessly slicing off two pieces and buttering them. "You are entitled to some amount of privacy. I just like to know who's working for me. Bread?" He offered her the slice at an arm's distance. Gingerly, she accepted the slice.

"Thank you, Sir," she said quietly. "I quit because the pay was better, and I know how to cook and clean and that's all that's really required of me here." She leant over and put the slice of bread back onto the plate, turning again to continue talking to Zelos only to find her mouth occupied with his. She pulled back, her green eyes wide and frightened.

"M- Mister Zelos, Sir," she said, one hand on his chest, but not pushing him away. "What about your g-girlfriend?"

"Don't worry," Zelos said, wedging one knee between hers as he pushed her back onto the couch, gripping her wrists. "Sheena's not my girlfriend." Smiling in a reassuring manner, he kissed her softly on her forehead. Then his grip on her wrists tightened and he lost the smile, glaring down at her.

"She's not my girlfriend any more than you're one of my maids."

The innocent façade was quickly lost and the blond rolled her eyes. "Goddess. You're smarter than you look."

"My maids don't call me 'Sir'," he said. "It's Master Zelos. They are given three weeks of training before I even get a chance to look at them. They are told not to socialize with me, even if I request it. Sebastian practically beats it into them. And they are specifically told to never, ever engage in any type of sexual relations with me. They are told to slap me upside the head, and are individuals who are not scared of doing so despite my rank and wealth. Who are you really?"

The blond shrugged, resting the side of her face against the cushions, baring her neck. "Does it matter? Maybe I'm one of your fan girls desperate for a closer look at your pretty face. It didn't cross your mind?"

"Meh. You've got a deadly hunting knife stuffed under your aprons. I don't think you're the type of fan I need right now."

"Is that so…" The blond girl then lifted him up and threw him halfway across the room. He flipped in midair, ricocheting off of the wall and unsheathing his sword, slashing through the plush cushions where the girl had been. Knife in hand, she melted from somewhere out of sight and brought it down across his back.

He yelped, scrambling away and then hopping from foot to foot. "Oh, you've done it now, you dumb blond!" Regaining his composure, he stood with nothing but his sword-wielding side facing her, sorely wishing his shield wasn't being polished right now. "Don't think I'll go easy on you! You're not that cute!"

"My name is Nyoka, Idiot," she said, twirling her dagger in one hand. "And there wouldn't be much point in this if you didn't give it your all when you fought me!" Baring her teeth in a feral snarl, she charged at him. She moved faster than he had expected, actually managing to put a tear in his pink vest. "Now die!"

"If I-" Zelos leapt over the charge, remembering her uncanny strength. Twisting his body mid-flight and pointing the sword at her, he whispered "Fireball" and landed on top of the table, spilling chowder all over his boots. "-Had a frickin' Gald piece-"

Nyoka brought up a guardian spell, blocking the pathetic fire balls. Leaping up with him onto the table, she locked her knife with his sword, barely struggling to keep him from gaining any ground or losing any. "If I had a frickin' Gald for every time some loser told me to die," Zelos continued, trying not to grunt as the sweat began to pop out on his forehead. She pressed forward slightly, making his knees buckle slightly. He broke the lock, ducking to the side and lashing out with his sword. Nyoka sucked in her breath and pulled her stomach in to keep the blade nearly spilled her guts out for the world to see.

"I'd be richer than the King!" he managed to wheeze out, laughing maniacally and he hop-stepped backwards, out of her slicing range.

"You talk too much!" Nyoka spat, hurling her dagger at Zelos. For a split second, habit took over and he raised up his shield arm to deflect it. Then he realized his arm was naked and defenseless.

Oh Goddess. Oh Goddess. What was that spell. What was the frickin' spell?

"Uh, uh, GUARDIAN!" Zelos shrieked. Of course, not that the Great Zelos actually shrieked. In any case, the pale blue shield came up in time to block the dagger, but he had foolishly closed his eyes and flinched when the spell came up. When his eyes opened, Nyoka had closed the distance between them and smacked his sword aside like it was a toy. Bringing her fist up, she connected it with Zelos's nose, feeling the cartilage snapping under the pressure. The blood spurted out in an obscene gush, splattering her fist and face and streaming down Zelos's chin. He stumbled back, one hand to his pretty face as Nyoka laughed, her tongue flicking out to wipe away the blood around her lips. Reaching forward and grabbing him by the neck with one hand, she lifted him up and tossed him through the window like a rag doll. Daintily prancing over the shattered glass to reach her dagger, she picked it up and strode over to the beaten and battered Chosen. A frightened passersby shrieked, picked up her skirts, and took off. Nyoka turned and carelessly flicked her knife-wielding hand; the noblewoman stumbled to the ground and was still. Nyoka chuckled wryly, but the chuckle was caught in her throat as Zelos got up and grabbed her by the shoulder. Spinning her around, he clumsily did his best to return the favor and break her nose. His expertise was in swordsmanship, however, and not brawling, so he was soon back on the floor with one stiletto heel pressed to his throat.

Bleeding from a dozen lacerations, he shoved the foot aside and lunged up, pinning her to the ground again. "Why did you do that?" hedemanded, grabbing the front of her frilly maid's outfit and slamming her against the glass-litteredcobblestones. "You were fighting me, you bitch! Why did you- uhf!" The positions were reversed and Zelos flailed against Nyoka's unnaturally strong arms as she clutched his throat with both hands.

"No more games…" she said, impassively watching his life slip away. "I need to go after your little friend now. Surely she's on her way, what with all the commotion we've caused." Holding onto Zelos still with one hand, she reached for a jagged strip of glass with the other. Pressing it against his pale cheek, she smiled sweetly.

"Too bad she's all the way at the other end of town."

"Is that right?"

A slim purple blur collided with Nyoka, knocking her off of Zelos. He coughed, groping the area around him for his sword. Not that he needed it. The last thing he remembered was Sheena being thrown back into the house and wild, crazed blue eyes before he passed out.