I smiled, a hint of pink on my cheeks, as I looked up at Roxas. Words couldn't really describe the way I felt right then. I had this little butterfly feeling in my stomach and then- all at once, it just stopped. He looked troubled, and he looked down at me, forcing a smile. "Roxas?"
"It's nothing." He said. I knew he didn't want to ruin it.
"Roxas," I couldn't really find the right words. He should already know that he could tell me anything, but then, what could he have had to tell me right then?
"I know. I'm sorry. Later, okay?"
"Fine." I squeezed his hand a little tighter as we walked. When we finally got to Roxas's house, and walked up to the front door, we smiled at each other and walked in. In a matter of seconds, Percilla came running up. I smiled warmly. "Hi, Percilla."
She curtsied. "Namine, Master Roxas. Is there anything I can help you with?"
"No, thank you." I said. I still thought she shouldn't speak to me like that. "You're working on dinner, right?"
"Oh yes. Very busy, but it's turning out very well."
"Well then, is there anything I could help you with?" I absolutely loved cooking, and I knew that she probably way too much work to do by herself. But when I asked, her face brightened.
"Oh! Master Roxas, you wouldn't mind if I stole you're lovely lady for a while, would you?" He shrugged, and looked at me weird.
"If she wants to."
I hugged him tightly. "Thank you, Roxas!"
"I... really didn't do anything."
"Do you wanna come watch?" I asked, Percilla nodded in agreement to the offer.
"Uh... sure." I smiled.
"Great. Come on. Let's go."
"Thank you so much, Namine. You know, it's only the extremely kind hearted people that offer to help with the work, and there never seems to be any willing, so supposing. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it is my job." When we walked into the kitchen, Natasha, Roxas's step-mother, turning to meet our eye. Her hair was pulled back in a sloppy bun and she had an apron on, but she still looked very pretty. She wiped her forehead with the back of her hand and smiled. Percilla turned to me. "Like I said, dear. Only the extremely kind hearted people." Then she began again to work.
"Namine," Natasha said. "It's so nice to see you. Roxas didn't mention you'd stop by."
"Well, I wasn't going to. I'm sorry to intrude, but Roxas kind of saved me."
"Oh Namine, don't be silly. You never intrude. We love your company."
"Thank you." I said, smiling. "Roxas," I turned to face him, excited. "Do you think..."
"Oh! Uh... yeah. Do you wanna..."
"You can!" I ran of to the other side of the kitchen and started to help Percilla. I glanced back and Roxas was telling Natasha. Soon enough, he laughed a little, as she hugged him, and then she came running over to me. I smiled.
"I'm so excited for you two! I can't believe this, Roxas didn't tell me he planned to ask you that."
"He... I don't know. He kind of didn't, I guess."
"What do you mean?" My heart sank.
"Um... never mind, It's... weird."
"Okay. Oh, Namine." I looked up at her. "Should I set a few extra plates? Are your mother and father coming?" My eyes widened for a second, but I relaxed them.
"No, they aren't. Thank you." She looked at me with compassion, finding the depression in my voice easily. "I... Excuse me. I'll be right back." My eyes were filling as I hurried out of the kitchen. I bumped Roxas as I left, but I didn't turn back. I walked out of the kitchen, paused and then started to run. I wasn't exactly sure where I was running to, but soon enough, I bumped into something that nearly knocked me over. My wrist was caught and I was pulled back up, finding myself next to Roxas's father.
"Where are you going in such a hurry?"
I sniffled. "I'm sorry, sir. Excuse me." I started to walk away from him, but he stopped me.
"Excuse me, young lady." I paused. "It was Namine, right?"
"Yes, sir."
"Don't call me sir. I feel so stiff. You can call me Aaron. Now, what seems to be your problem?"
"Nothing, I'm fine." That's when Roxas came. He was running, too, but he stopped when he saw his dad.
"Um... Namine, do you wanna talk?" He asked, trying not to draw his dad's attention.
"N-No. It's fine."
"Roxas, will you excuse me?" His father asked.
"What? Dad, I–" He was given a stern look. "I... Okay. Namine, I'll be in the kitchen." He looked at his dad again, then turned and left.
"Namine, I suppose you haven't been given the best impression of me, and I'm sure the things Roxas must say only give you a worse one. But you really are a very nice young lady, and I'd like to assure you that I'm not as bad as I can seem."
I nodded. "Roxas doesn't say anything bad about you." He laughed a bit. "No, really. He doesn't." He sighed.
"Well, then I suppose I'm at fault for that, too. Never mind it, what's the matter?"
"Nothing. Thank you."
He squinted looking at me. "Your mother's Jessica, is she not? You're her spitting image. She's beautiful, much like yourself."
I was taken aback. "Yes... she is. Do you know her?" He laughed again.
"I used to. And Namine, I'm so sorry to have heard about your father. He was a good man. Always helping others. Does this... have anything to do with him?" Looking down I nodded.
"But it's not a problem. I'm okay. It's nothing really."
"Well then, your father–" He paused and looked back. "Roxas!" Roxas came back out of the kitchen. "Come in here!" He started to walk. His dad looked back at me. "Your father really was a saint. He was my best friend. Tell your mother I say hello, and give her my regards." He began to leave. "Although, she never did like me much." He chuckled. "Tell her anyway." He stopped Roxas on his way over and I wiped my eyes. When I opened them again, Roxas was next to me.
"Namine, I'm sorry. She didn't know."
"It's okay. It's not her fault. I... overreacted. It's nothing, really, let's go."
"What's wrong with you?" He asked, seriously.
"What do you mean?" I pretended not to know. I figured he wouldn't have the will to just say it.
But then, I've been wrong before. "Namine, he's your dad. You don't have to be that strong." I didn't look at him. "Come on, talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Really?" I nodded. "Tell me about all his pictures. Why he liked to draw. Why you liked him so much."
"Roxas, he was my dad. How could I not like him?"
"You know what I mean." He wasn't letting me forget what I wanted to.
"Forget it."
"No."
"Why do you care so much?"
"Because I care about you." That shut me up. "The first time we really talked, you told me that you hated yourself for forgetting your dad's smile. I wanted to help you remember."
"Roxas, there's nothing you can do to help."
"There is if you want me to." What was he doing to me? What could it have been in his words that made me fall into his arms, and spill out everything I knew. Everything I loved about my dad, everything about him. The way he laughed, the way he drew, the way he died. The whole time, he hugged me, just listening patiently. He didn't talk, or make a noise, but every now and then, he would hug me just a little tighter. What did I really think about him? Why did he remind me so much... of the person I missed... so much... I loved my dad. Did I... Roxas?
"Kids," Came a soft voice from behind. My hands were still holding Roxas, his still holding me. I looked back and saw Natasha. "Dinner." We nodded, Roxas let go of me, smiled, and wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Namine, I'm so sorry."
I sniffled. "It's okay. I... should have just said so. I'm sorry. I guess I kind of ruined your holiday, huh?"
She tilted her head. "You could never." She ushered me and Roxas to the dining room, and once we sat, he took my hand under the table. I smiled at him, still wiping my tears, and we started to eat dinner, my father's smiling face flashing in my memory.
---
I knew I should be happy, and I was, but not completely. If she basically asked me to go out... why couldn't she have just said yes yesterday... and spared us both? I looked down at her, fake smile, because I knew she was looking at me. "Roxas?"
"It's nothing." I didn't want to ruin what we had finally gotten.
"Roxas," I wanted to talk about it, but I couldn't. She was so happy, and I wanted more than anything to leave it that way.
"I know. I'm sorry. Later, okay?"
"Fine." I could feel her grip on my hand tighten as we walked. After a while, we were finally at my house, smiling, and walking in. Percilla ran up immediately, almost as if she expected us. "Hi, Percilla." Namine greeted. I smiled at her.
She curtsied. "Namine, Master Roxas. Is there anything I can help you with?"
"No, thank you." Namine said. She was so nice. I couldn't help thinking how lucky I was as I stared at her. "You're working on dinner, right?"
"Oh yes. Very busy, but it's turning out very well."
"Well then, is there anything I could help you with?" I felt kinda bad. In all the years Percilla had lived with us, I had never offered to help her. Namine really made me think sometimes. It sucked.
"Oh! Master Roxas, you wouldn't mind if I stole you're lovely lady for a while, would you?" I shrugged.
"If she wants to."
She hugged me... who knows why? "Thank you, Roxas!"
"I... really didn't do anything."
"Do you wanna come watch?" She offered, and Percilla nodded.
"Uh... sure." She smiled, and that made me smile, too.
"Great. Come on. Let's go."
"Thank you so much, Namine. You know, it's only the extremely kind hearted people that offer to help with the work, and there never seems to be any willing, so supposing." I must be a horrible person, but I knew she realized how she made me feel. "Not that there's anything wrong with that, it is my job." Why am I surrounded by such nice people? When we got into the kitchen, my mom was there. She smiled warmly at Namine coming in, and smiled in approval to me. Percilla turned to Namine. "Like I said, dear. Only the extremely kind hearted people." I smiled, overhearing, and looked up at Tasha. She was really nice. I loved her.
"Namine," She said. "It's so nice to see you. Roxas didn't mention you'd stop by."
"Well, I wasn't going to. I'm sorry to intrude, but Roxas kind of saved me."
"Oh Namine, don't be silly. You never intrude. We love your company."
"Thank you." Namine said plastering a big smile on her face. "Roxas, Do you think..."
"Oh! Uh... yeah. Do you wanna..."
"You can!" She ran over to Percilla.
"Roxas? What's that all about?"
"I don't know, I guess she wanted me to tell you that we're going out now." I acted casual, but laughed when she hugged me.
"Finally!" She whispered in my ear.
"You're telling me..." I said.
Then she ran over to Namine. After a while, Namine was walking back toward the door. I was about to ask her what was wrong, but she didn't stop. She bumped into me when she passed by, but she didn't even look back. Her eyes were pink, but soon she was out of the kitchen. I guess she didn't know the door was revolving, otherwise, she probably wouldn't have ran as soon as she left the kitchen. I knew I should go after her, but I had no idea what was wrong.
"Roxas," Natasha said, hurrying over to me. "What's wrong with Namine?"
"I don't know. What did you say to her?"
"Nothing, I think. I just asked if her mother and father were coming."
I paused, and looked at the door. Crap. "How did you ask it?"
"Just like that. Are your mother and father coming. Why?"
"Mom, her dad died when she was little, and her mom's almost never home. That's why I invited her over here. I didn't want her to be all alone on Thanksgiving."
"I'm so sorry! I didn't know. Go talk to her, before she gets upset." I nodded and ran out of the kitchen.
I kept running until I saw her... with my dad. I didn't want him to make it any worse. "Um... Namine, do you wanna talk?" I asked.
"N-No. It's fine."
"Roxas, will you excuse me?" I didn't know why he would have wanted me to leave, but he did.
"What? Dad, I–" He was looking at me harshly. "I... Okay. Namine, I'll be in the kitchen." I couldn't really argue with him.
This was possibly the worst thing ever. I looked back at my dad and walked into the kitchen. I didn't really get why my dad would've wanted to talk to her. I sighed when I got back into the kitchen.
"Roxas, where is she?"
"My dad wanted to talk to her."
"I can't suppose what for. Is she okay?" I said nothing for a while.
"What can I do for her?"
"Almost nothing." She moved her head back and forth. "Only everything."
"What? What's that supposed to mean?"
"All you can do is listen to her if she let's you. It doesn't seem like much, but it'll mean the world to her. Let her know that you care, and you want to help her. That's how–"
"Roxas!" I looked at the door, then back at my mom, sighed and left the kitchen. "Come in here!" I started to walk toward them. My dad turned back to Namine and said a few more things, but I have no idea what it was about. He stood up, and I waited. "Although, she never did like me much." He laughed -no idea... "Tell her anyway." Namine closed her eyes and my dad stopped me. "Just listen to her." He looked back at her. "She'll trust you." I looked at him, confused, I didn't really know this side of my dad.
I nodded and he left, and I walked to Namine's side. "Namine, I'm sorry. She didn't know."
"It's okay. It's not her fault. I... overreacted. It's nothing, really, let's go."
"What's wrong with you?" Her dad... nothing?
"What do you mean?" I knew it was going to be insensitive to say anything, but I couldn't listen to her if she wouldn't talk.
"Namine, he's your dad. You don't have to be that strong." She looked down. "Come on, talk to me."
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Really?" She nodded. "Tell me about all his pictures. Why he liked to draw. Why you liked him so much."
"Roxas, he was my dad. How could I not like him?"
"You know what I mean." I felt bad because of the way I spoke to her.
"Forget it."
"No."
"Why do you care so much?" That hurt. Why do I care? Because... Namine... I know I like her a lot... but... maybe I more than like her... a lot more.
"Because I care about you. The first time we really talked, you told me that you hated yourself for forgetting your dad's smile. I wanted to help you remember."
"Roxas, there's nothing you can do to help."
"There is if you want me to." She looked up at me, then fell into my arms. What was she doing to me? It was all I could do not to cry, not because of what she said, but because of how she said it. She told me everything. And hearing her sobs... I think I almost knew then. That it was so much more that I felt for her. Four letters. Just four. But they meant so much. Namine... four letters.
"Kids," It was Tasha. Namine's arms were still around me. I had one hand on her back, and one on her head. She looked back. "Dinner." We nodded. I let go of her and wiped away some of her tears. "Namine, I'm so sorry."
She sniffled. "It's okay. I... should have just said so. I'm sorry. I guess I kind of ruined your holiday, huh?"
She tilted her head. "You could never." The extremely kind hearted people... We went to the table, and under it, I took Namine's hand. Four Letters... and I knew.