Disclaimer: I do not own anything... not even this story... sad huh? This is a translation attempt of my favorite Chinese ShizNat fanfic. Details of the original work and author are included at the end of this chapter.
Summary: Story takes place after the carnival. Natsuki finally took the next step. Things couldn't have been better ... however, will it last? ShizNat.
Equilibrium
Chapter 2 - The Search
Authored by Firerei
Translated by glowie
"Natsuki, please, please calm down." Mai tried without success to comfort her friend. Shizuru had been missing for a month now.
When Mai agreed to Shizuru's request, deep down, she knows she will have hell to pay. But by actually being on the receiving end of Natsuki's concentrated, unfiltered rage, was much scarier than she would have imagined.
"CALM DOWN?!! CALM DOWN?!! How could I? She hasn't contacted me for two whole months but YOU! you actually met up with her and you KEPT IT FROM ME!!!" Natsuki practically roared at Mai, glaring fiery icy daggers and what not. Mai, for once, was glad that they have lost their HiME powers after the carnival.
"You know full well that this is not my idea, Natsuki. You know how it is with Kaichou, once she has made up her mind, nobody can convince her otherwise. I tried to get her to call you... but..." Mai tried to explain.
"I don't understand..." crestfallen, the raven haired girl turns her head away from Mai, half cried in despair. "Shizuru... Do you detest me so?"
Looking at her friend's plight, Mai, guilt ridden, wished she had at least tried to secretly notify Natsuki of their meeting despite Shizuru's objection.
But alas, it is too late now. For even this last link had been broken. Ever since that day, no one, not even Mai has heard from Shizuru.
"To be honest, I don't know what has happened between you and Kaichou. All I know is that she wanted me to bring you here during this time."
Confused, Natsuki tries to make sense of her surroundings. In front of her is a huge field of green grass. Arranged neatly on top this sea of green are ... gravestones... simple yet elegant they stood. Like ships neatly lay across the sea of green.
Hundreds? Thousands. Some, with names others without. Every single one of them represents a life once... a life lost.
It was a bright and sunny day with clear blue sky dotted with white clouds. No buildings to obscure the view, a majestic view of the endless blue sky.
Silently, the raven haired girl hopes against hope that Shizuru would suddenly appear before her.
It has to be! It had to!
She couldn't find any other reason why a specific time and place was picked if not for a meeting.
With abated breath... she waited.
Alas, in vain she waited... for her Shizuru did not appear.
Instead, a mother and her child slowly came into view. The woman, a traditional Japanese housewife was holding her daughter's hand that is sporting braids and adorned in kimono. Natsuki could not be sure but estimated the child to be around 3 to 4 years of age.
The woman smiled and waved towards Mai.
"You're here again?" the middle aged woman asked warmly.
"Ahh... it seemed you have a different company this time. Fujino-san didn't come with you?" the woman asked when she saw Natsuki.
Mai was about to reply when she was rudely interrupted by Natsuki. "Shizuru Fujino was here before?"
The woman looks warily at Natsuki, before she answered. "Since two months ago, I have been seeing Fujino-san here almost every week."
Aware that her behavior is unbecoming, the raven haired beauty quickly apologizes. "I am sorry, please forgive my rudeness. I am her friend. Kuga Natsuki."
The woman gave a warm smile and replied. "Is it now? My, my, you're all such pretty girls."
The little girl, left unattended earlier, came up to her mother and asked. "Mama, when will daddy and onii-chan come back home?"
Bending down, the young mother scoops up her child kissed her on her cheeks and said. "Soon dear... soon." she repeated warmly.
"I am sorry about your husband and son."
They were sitting in the tea room of the woman's house which not far from the cemetery. The young girl is asleep by now, tired from the day's activities.
The woman seemed pale and white hair covered most of her head. Upon closer inspection, however, Natsuki concluded that she isn't that old. She seemed exhausted, burdened but beneath all that she emits an aura of wisdom and elegance.
"You do not need to be, my husband has lived a fulfilling live that alone is enough for me." The young mother replied warmly.
"You are an admirable woman." Mai commented, clearly impressed with the woman.
"Being alive, that is all that matters" the young mother gave a slight smile and said.
'Being alive'
"My husband was with my son, he said he wanted to show him around his factory... that was two years ago, the factory was razed in a freak accident that day and they never came back..." the young mother explained.
"The company, Searrs, didn't give us any acceptable explanation..."
"What?! Searrs?" Natsuki's heart grew cold.
'Searrs Corporation'
"Soon" the warm and protective motherly tone sings in Natsuki's mind.
"Soon"
Natsuki could not help herself but think of the young mother and her child. It triggered a memory tucked carefully in the back of her mind, her memory of her and her mother, a memory which carries with it more pain than warmth.
Why did Shizuru left her? What kind of pain is Shizuru going through in this very moment?
What on earth caused Shizuru to come face to face with the very people whom she had robbed them of their happiness, of their very lives? Natsuki do not know and she dare not imagine the pain and torment her beloved must be facing now.
All she wanted to do now is to be with Shizuru and share her pain, dry her tears and wrap her fiercely in her arms. Everyone makes mistakes; moreover, Natsuki knows full well that, that was a mistake she made because of her, for her.
If Shizuru felt what she did was unforgivable, then the one unforgivable would be me, Kuga Natsuki.
In a desperate bid, Natsuki decided to embark once again... to Kyoto, Shizuru's house.
Everything seems clearer now. Her instinct tells her that she must be there for the most dangerous of places is often times the safest as well.
Shizuru would have assumed she wouldn't be able to guess her hiding place, thinking it safe for her to remain there. Remembering her first visit, Natsuki recalls her feeling of being watched while talking to her mother... that must be Shizuru.
It has to be...
TBC
Notes: Thanks for the reviews. Please feel free to send me corrections and comments. I know I tend to use commas to break sentences up (A LOT!). That's because I am more of a talker. I don't know any other way to add the "pausing" effect. But if that is a NO-NO, please let me know. I'll pay more attention to that in future. (I tend to stress effect rather than being technically correct. Then again, I don't know much about being technically correct. hahaha grin)
As usual, Firerei's blog can be found at http://axonxrei.blog97 dot fc2 dot com (so can I assume hyperlink is definitely not doable now?)